Masturbation discussions

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My body is annoying me sooooooooooo much about its sexual starvation, it is annoying the Woahly Crap out of me towards Hating Sex, again. Prove me wrong, please.
Chris
Masturbation takes Fifteen LONG, Tiring and Annoying Minutes
Chris

On occasion, Chris would discuss masturbation with the Watchmen.

27 February 2021

A few days after ending his months-long role-playing as Sonichu, Chris posted in The Place Discord server lamenting his lack of a love life, and the subject shifted to masturbation, and how difficult and lonely the act is for Chris.

Chris's comments are in blue and the Watchmen in various colors.

Chris
Hey, @everyone.
[redacted]
Afternoon.
Chris
I am feeling sad today, because of the body and its lack of physical and mutual cuddling and love. I am refraining myself from doing anything major and letting these emotions play out.

I want to say I don't care if you leak this out to everyone on the Farms, but obviously, please don't.

[redacted]
There are more productive ways to approach any problem. I'd never share anything without discretion.
Chris
Body is also jealous that I actually got to experience that physical love with Magi-Chan, Cryzel, Sylvana and Mewtwo.

Yeah, you might not.

So, yeah, I'm just not feeling in the right mood, along with everything else that is happening between our universes.

Bleh

[redacted]
I'm kind of a tacit whore, so, either extreme....
Chris
And my heart and solar plexus chakra are both feeling it really hard right now. (edited).
[redacted]
Like, a focused physical pain?
Chris
I am also being more conservative and selective these days. I wasted energy in the wrong directions in the past with the fakers and Haters; now I'm refocusing it to the potential that they should have been the whole time, including getting myself, fully, safely and well into C-197.

Like, a focused physical pain?

You may say that

[redacted]
Better late than never
[redacted]
I could put more mysticism into it if that would arbitrarily be more effective, but there's really nothing better than talking through things.
Chris
My body is annoying me sooooooooooo much about its sexual starvation, it is annoying the Woahly Crap out of me towards Hating Sex, again. Prove me wrong, please.
[redacted]
I mean, normal people just masturbate or something.
Chris
I could put more mysticism into it if that would arbitrarily be more effective, but there's really nothing better than talking through things.

That may be a very good idea, the mysticism.

[redacted]
Mysticism is boilerplate.
[redacted]
Have you tried vibrators?
Chris
Masturbation takes Fifteen LONG, Tiring and Annoying Minutes, with my body, regardless of whatever method or tool utilized. And it has literally been that long in unenjoyable time since I first rubbed one out while my body was 15. And that was Looooong before I ever started on HRT in 2016. So, not only is masturbation out of the question, it's more misery-inducing
[redacted]
Stands to reason that would make it impossible.
[redacted]
Overstimulation by use of a vibrator, like a Hitachi can lead to long last multiple organisms.
Chris
Still

Fifteen

Fucked up

Minutes.

[redacted]
The studies on these drugs are universally negative for pretty much all facets of health.
[redacted]
So why would having sex with a partner be any different? Wouldn't it just be fifteen minutes of unsatisfactory sex?
[redacted]
That too.
[redacted]
Seems to be more about the contact as opposed to a raw animalistic thing, i think
[redacted]
Maybe what you crave more is the warmth of partnership

Yes

[redacted]
Happy to be the austere conservative, as ever.
[redacted]
Companionship

Its understandable

[redacted]
Solving problems isn't just realizing that one exists, if everything were in place, it wouldn't really be a problem. Evaluate that the outcome is even possible and not mutually exclusive with something else.
Chris
Wouldn't it just be fifteen minutes of unsatisfactory sex?

Simply put: with masturbation, you're alone, and not really feeling the vibe due to lack of love from the other person. And when you have a partner there, who's feeling the vibes from you and you feeling the vibes from them, that tends to make the process more delightful, enjoyable, and definitely quicker. Gonna mention that time with the kind hooker in '12: I came within seven minutes both of those times.

Seems to be more about the contact as opposed to a raw animalistic thing, i think

Bingo.

And my body has been Really lashing out at me and blaming me for not getting it a solid relationship sooner.

To be blunt, it might have happened with either Megan or [The Wallflower], IF my body was not so impulsively touchy, clingy, and not to mention its exaggerated "Wishful NSFW Thinking".

Kinda 50/50 between High School years with lack of dating knowledge or actual incentive, AND over the years up to 2006 while feeling lost and still finding ourselves.

Tangent on Lainchu drama

The conversation also touched on some of the drama over the Lainchu role. Earlier in February, Anaxis, the third person behind Lainchu, had been banned from The Place. The Watchmen attempted to push another version of Lainchu as a replacement, but Chris did not take kindly to it.

In the conversation, the fourth Lainchu, secretly run by The WCT, joined in but is rebuffed by Chris who criticizes the decision to ban Anaxis.

The Fourth Lainchu's comments are in purple.

The Fourth Lainchu
Sex is better when its with somebody you love, not with some stranger you just met like a couple minutes ago. (edited)
Chris
I agree with you on that comment. But, on the flip side, you're not the original Lainchu.
The Fourth Lainchu
I like to describe myself as a direct descendant of the Original Lainchu.
Chris
Still, @Nova, it was most unfair of you to simply kick him out the way you did. And such lame excuses.
The Fourth Lainchu
personalities will be different, and the individual that is given the chance to possesses my powers must be somebody who won't use them for their selfish desires. Its earned, not a given.
Chris
Anyway, I'm still going through my emotions. Sonichu is having a tough him of his own resyncing with his body as well. (edited)

16 March 2021

Chris
Good morning.
[redacted]
Good morning 💜
Chris
I have been awake for about two to three hours now.

My body was giving me a signal that it was horny again.

I hate having a penis. Self-masturbation is really arduous and annoying. Another 15 minutes down the drain. I was born the wrong physical gender. I can’t say I Hate it, even though I want to, because my body has got me in a fucking box over how the rubbing feeling is fair and good; only Mildly enjoyable.

I deserve better than this in that department.

Ugh

18 May 2021

I am only putting this on here, because I do not feel it appropriate to Tweet publically about it, and I genuinely do not care if you all share the following on Kiwi Farms or whatever.

Fair warning, the topic is at least mildly graphic.

I have just talked with my body, extensively in regards to the sex, or lack there of, if you wish. For the longer time, before the self-love I have been giving it to make amends after returning from the body-swap with Sonichu, my body has been feeling sexually neglected. No surprise, I’m certain.

And this goes far back as the very first time I came while I was Fifteen years old. Throughout High School, I never actually touched my penis. I watched soft core porn between HBO and Cinemax, while laying belly-down on the bed, with a clean washcloth under it. I watched the porn, and it came on its own. I didn’t put my hand on it until some time after graduation from High School, and learning that I could have put my hand on it to rub one out.

I also have been stuck in Observation and Learning Mindset as well; I never really gave thought to the pleasure and positives of the experience, other than relieving myself of some stress.

My body, however, felt like it was being used and not fully appreciated. It even took a massive hit when I considered that time in ‘12 when I had sex with that woman, Just to lose my virginity and get it over with.

Over the years, I’ve watched my share of pornography, but, again, only to reach that hard-on. Until recently and in recent years, I never really gave thought to further exploration with and by myself. And even after finding pleasure, I’m still feeling stuck in the habit of overthinking the process leading up to setting up a dildo or vibrator, getting it to find my g-spot up the butt (I’m still having difficulty with that, even though I have succeeded and have the general idea where it is up this behind), and whatnot. So my body has been feeling lost when it comes to how or what it…

..really wants to feel or get out of the experience. And all of the online faking exes, and the jerks shoving gay ads on my old website pages back in the day, and shit did not help much at all either.

Anyway, that’s the real final major grief I have within me, period, but it is the most difficult to let go and move forward from, I feel. Especially on the fact that I can’t make up for lost time with that. Sure, it’s easy for better sexually positive individuals, because they’ve actually were able to open their respective minds, hearts and bodies to the experiences to find those things that hit them in the right spots to concentrate on. It’s not as easy with me.

Also, the other key trigger phrases and moments that pained my body in the same manner. Referring a penis/dick as a “Duck”, or a vagina as “China”. After having rubbed one out, I used to say, “Well, I got that out of my system”. Even Drawing each and every NSFW sex art ended up feeling like a punch in the gut.

Essentially, in general, treating any form of Sex (masturbation or otherwise) as a commodity and simply “Getting it over with”, or devaluing Sex in general to myself really hurt my body, emotionally. (edited)

Anyway, I felt want and need to get that out while it was fresh on the noggin. Thanks for listening. Goodnight.

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