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Duck

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Curve.JPG
 
 
ChrisChanSonichu (12:20:19 AM): sorry, it is limp.
 

 

—Chris, on his duck.[1]

 
 
MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR TOM-TOM TO POUND!!!!!
 

 

—Chris, I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts

Duck edited.jpg

Duck is a CWC-ism for penis, usually in the context of Chris's own penis. (The genitalia of other males, and those of Rosechus, are pickles.) This neologism was originally thought to be a misspelling of "dick", but Chris confirmed in a 17 February 2009 Mumble chat that it is an intentional euphemism.[2]

Chris and his duck

 
 
Did I not just tell you I am Seven Inches Long?! It is soo long, that I am literally able to stretch it Under my taint, and tuck it between my own ass cheeks, beyond my ass hole. With help, I can literally even shove the head of the Ugly Growth Up Mine!
 

 

—Chris, displaying his love-hate relationship with his penis to Colin.

Indeed a monster.
Another example of a bent duck

Chris's circumcised penis is bent at a horrifying 45° angle, though he has never clearly explained why. Some speculate that Chris has Peyronie's disease, or that he did it to himself by engaging in prone mass debating, resulting in what's known medically as a fractured penis. It may also have been a botched circumcision, although this is unlikely. Further damage could have resulted from when Chris stuck his duck in the ice for 15 minutes trying to imitate Jackass.

Chris proudly claims his penis is six inches (15 cm) long.[3] He even edited the CWCki at one point to remove a bit of piping that suggested otherwise. In spite of this, visual evidence suggests it is at least an inch shorter (five inches being closer to the average size), and Chris readily lies about the dimensions of his body.

Chris at least concedes that his penis is of no more than average size, which is a source of some insecurity for him. In an e-mail to Evan during their feud over Simonla Rosechu, he took off on a peculiar tangent about penis length: "There ARE those with dicks longer than 7 inches; yes I am jealous of those individuals, not just you." In Kacey Call 11, Chris asked Kacey for details as to the size of Liquid Chris's penis and expressed regret that his own was not as large. He once attempted to enlarge it with ExtenZe, a supplement advertised to enlarge penises, but he said it didn't work.[4][5]

Toward the very end of his communications with Jackie, Chris claimed that his penis has grown larger and straightened itself out since it was last photographed for public consumption. Determining the likelihood of this occurrence will be left as an exercise for the reader. At any rate, this claim was disproven in the Tomgirl images, leaked in April 2011, wherein his penis is still visibly bent and the same size it always was.

Many of his nude photos show that Chris shaves most of his pubic hair. While this sometimes has the effect of making the penis seem more prominent, in Chris's case, it just draws attention to the abundant pubic fat surrounding his genitalia. This can not be described as an attractive effect.

When he announced the alleged loss of his virginity on Facebook, Chris claimed his sex partner praised his duck for its size. This sex partner was later confirmed to be a prostitute,[6] so while it is likely that she said it, its sincerity was dubious to say the least.

It seems that, as of 2014, Chris now actively despises his own duck in the wake of his coming out as "Tomgirl, Intersex of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser". It is common for (legitimate) transsexuals to detest their own genitalia, which they perceive as incorrect, and in fact, he even uses a homemade device to hold it in. However, the fact that Chris loathes ALL penises is more indicative of issues with his sexuality than with his gender.

Coincidentally, real-life ducks are known for their massive, twisted penises.

References by Chris

Chris and his duck in the comics. Traced for authenticity[7]
Anatomical analysis of the duck.

Sources

  1. Vanessa IRC Chat 3
  2. Mumble 8
  3. Chris humps his PS3
  4. IRC (03 January 2009)
  5. Mumble 8
  6. [[1]]
  7. Ivy Q&A#Comics

See also

CWC-isms

Relationships: Attraction Location | Boyfriend-free girl | Dating education | Gal pal | Heart level | Sweetheart | Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor | Love Quest | Noviophobia | Sweetheart from the Ground-Up

Sex: China | Comeuppance | Duck | Gaybian | Hanky-panky | Homos | Honest Content | Mass debating | Navy | Pickle | Raincoat | Recycling | Virgin with rage | Virginia is for Virgins | Women's rights

Himself: Biological clock | Butt garments | Captain's Log | Cherokian Clan | DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS | Fangs | Fuzzy-wuzzies | Honor roll | Mental Block | Monthly tugboat | Muscle bra | Prickly-Wicklies | Random-access humor | Scale of Respect | Heart level | Tomgirl | Un-clit

Comics: Anchuent Prophecy | Da Update | Electric Hedgehog Pokemon | Parody | Sub-Episodes | Sweetbolt | Reeb

Stressors: 4-cent_garbage | HEXBox | JERKS | Jerkop | Kick the Autistic | Laughs Under Lucricities | Manajerks | Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens | Tobacky | Pmurt

Cursewords: Curse-ye-ha-me-ha | I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD | Naïve | Niggos | Pedofork | Slow-in-the-minds

See also: Minor CWC-isms | Chris and English