Biological clock

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This new information can be found from the following sources:
The Place chats (November 2020)#Chris's Body Shakes

Chris' sleep cycle, 2020

Biological clock is the CWC-ism that Chris uses to refer to his circadian rhythm (his sleeping pattern). Although this is technically not an incorrect use of the term, biological clock is almost exclusively used to refer to a woman's child-bearing years, so Chris just sounds (even more) stupid when he yammers on about fixing his biological clock. Chris most likely confused the term "internal clock" or "body clock" (both of which refer to circadian rhythms) with the term for female child-bearing years. One of Chris's reasons for needing a TRUE and HONEST sweetheart is to fix his biological clock. Chris's infatuation with Ivy can be partially traced to the fact that she vaguely helped Chris have a normal, set sleeping pattern, as Chris regularly extolled Ivy at length for doing so in the videos he made for her.

Chris and his sleeping habits

He first explained his sleep habits in an edit on his Encyclopedia Dramatica article:

YES, I drink A LOT of Soda from Coca-Cola to Pepsi to Powerade. I have a lot of stored caffeene [sic] in my energy supply, and not only kept me on my toes, but has also messed up my fucking biological clock as well. I sleep from fucking six AM to twelve-fucking-thirty. BIG REASON I need a Sweetheart, so she can help me back on track towards getting back to the morning hours that I used to have during my High School years. Fucking Adult Swim(tm) and random projects keep me up all night as well.
Chris, 11 November 2007[1] (Note that Powerade is not a soda and contains no caffeine)

He is oblivious to the fact that the real reason he used to sleep during the night in high school is that he used to actually have some reason to get up in the morning. Parents (and college students) know that it's common for schoolchildren to get their sleep patterns messed up during the summer because they now can "stay up as late as they want." Since leaving PVCC, Chris has had no job, few friends, and no life outside of mass debating, making up things involving Sonichu, and his Love Quest, allowing him ample free time to stay up all night drinking caffeine. Yet, despite never leaving the house (thus negating the purpose of a standard sleep cycle), he seems to think that it's a perfectly valid excuse for not uploading comics on schedule.[2]

Chris's nocturnal habits during much of the 2000s appear to be the primary reason that "Attraction Time" during his Love Quest occurred in the mid-to-late afternoon, and that his Captain's Logs were recorded late at night or early in the morning. On 23 April 2012 Chris wrote that "I knew I was gone for too long [from Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church], but my internal clock kept me awake at night... and prohibited me from being a day person",[3] suggesting that his irregular sleep schedule has caused him to be absent from his church for a considerable period of time.

Little about Chris's current daily schedule is known, although in Tour of Chris's House III‎‎ (2018) he claimed to set an alarm every morning for 6 a.m.

Chris posts shocking evidence of being awake before noon.

In 2021, Chris received a FitBit Blaze watch and credited it with fixing his sleep schedule, displaying a watch reading 6:34 a.m.[4]

Witching Hours

During 2021, Chris began to use a new term for his abysmal sleeping habits - "witching hours", referring to the time between midnight and 4 am in which he would be unable to fall asleep.[5][6][7]

Uses by Chris

  • Chris mentions his biological clock (without explaining what he means) in one of his e-mails to Shigeru Miyamoto. This is the first recorded instance of his use of the term.
  • For some reason, the biological clock became a major element of Chris's relationship with Ivy. He thanks her for "fixing" it in CWC Update 9 April 2009, A CWC Audition, and Chris Sings Lovin' You, as well as the bizarre dream-sequence page about their romance in Episode #19 of the comic. He also mentioned this in his AIM chats with Vanessa Hudgens and on his Wikipedia userpage.
  • Chris mentioned his broken biological clock during the date with Emily, and added that his mother had the same problem at the time.
  • On his Twitter feed, Chris has blamed the biological clock for his odd schedule a couple of times, in December 2009 and January 2010.
  • In Mailbag #47, Chris talked about his "recent biological clock reset", allowing him to return to a regular update schedule for his comics. This didn't last very long.
  • The Alec Benson Leary calls contain a good deal of biological clock discussion, particularly in call #2 and call #3. In call #7, Alec tries to explain to Chris that he's gotten the meaning of the colloquialism "biological clock" completely wrong, but Chris refuses to believe him.


See also

The CWC-tionary

Relationships: Attraction Location | Boyfriend-free girl | Darling | Dating education | Friend Zone | Gal-pal | Heart Level | Homos | Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor | Love Quest | Noviophobia | SLGBTQ | Sweetheart | Sweetheart from the Ground-Up

Sex: China | Comeuppance | Duck | JULAY | Mass debating | Negligent | Pedofork | Pickle | Recycling | Soul Bonding | Virgin with rage | Virginia is for Virgins | Women's rights

Himself: Biological clock | Butt garments | Captain's Log | Christian Love Day | DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS | Fuzzy-Wuzzies & Prickly-Wicklies | Honest Content | I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD | Monthly tugboat | Muscle bra | Random-access humor | Saga | Scale of Respect | Tomgirl |

Stressors: 4-cent_garbage | GOPony | HEXBox | JERKS | Jerkops | Kick the Autistic | Manajerks | Naïve | Niggos | Pmurt | Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens | Slow-in-the-minds | Tobacky

Fantasies: Curse-ye-ha-me-ha | Dimension | Fangs | Godjesus | Iron Curtain | OC | Un-clit

Comics: Anchuent Prophecy | Da Update | Electric Hedgehog Pokemon | Nombie-zazis | Parody | Rosechu | Sonichu | Sub-Episodes | Sweetbolt

See also: Chris and English | List of phrases Chris copied from media