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Mumble

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Mumble is the voice chat program of choice for Chris's trolls. Chris made several "fan" chats in here in early 2009.

Summary

# Date Significant events
1 31 January 2009 Chris speaks on homos, wanting to be a woman, arguing with and not loving his dad and other topics
2 4 February 2009 Speaks on his nudes, sex in Sonichu, Clyde Cash, and the reasons behind CWCville's restrictive laws.
3 5 February 2009 Talks to Julie about Molvanîa's destruction, music, protecting her from Clyde Cash, their relationship and their first time together, including cumshots and premature ejaculation.
3.5 5 February 2009 Clyde harasses Chris about copping out of calling himself gay in Captain's Log, Stardate February 5th, 2009 and forces him to make a second video rectifying this.
4 6 February 2009 Clyde calls him out on his inability to support Julie, his views on love and relationships and forces him to get rid of his material possessions for Julie.
5 7 February 2009 Clyde continues to question Chris on how he would support Julie, going into detail about Chris's unrealistic views on how much money he'll need to live.
6 10 February 2009 An open fan Q&A. Discusses whether Chris's letter from Nintendo is fake, Chris's taste in anime and Clyde probing Chris about finances and supporting Julie.
7 13 February 2009 Another fan Q&A in which Chris is quizzed about anime, video games, homos, dating, Sarah May and does several terrible impersonations.
8 17 February 2009 Discusses Chris's contradictory views on Christianity and premarital sex, recycling and features a painful breakup with Sarah May where Chris repeatedly calls her "Julie" and she attempts suicide.
9 23 February 2009 Hosted by the Miscreants, who reveal that their purpose is to stop Chris from finding a sweetheart because he's a racist who only wants china.
9.5 23 February 2009 The Miscreants accuse Chris of not caring about his deceased Aunt Corrina, discuss Megan, and Chris admits retardation.
10 23 February 2009 A fan chat where he's convinced to go to Cleveland to save Julie from her evil brother Max at Miscreant HQ.
11 4 March 2009 Discusses being ill, BlueSpike/Julie/Max's deception (BlueSpike plays an active part in the chat), getting his accounts and website back and creating a new medallion.
12 5 March 2009 Chris is still ill, Clyde reveals that he murdered BlueSpike for Chris's birthday, and the mayorship of CWCville is discussed.

List of chats

1

Main article: Mumble 1

In the first of Chris's Mumble chats, he and the True and Honest Sonichu fanbase discuss his PS3, video games and Anime. Chris is still building his Lego CWCville. Male homos are bad, but lesbians are OK in his book - to the point of sister-sister incest being acceptable. He has no desire to make new male friends. Oh, and Chris has never imagined what it's like to be a cyborg, but has imagined being born a woman. Chris identifies with Barack Obama. Chris doesn't have to love his father, but has to respect him. Also, he's related to Anne Boleyn and likes Meg Griffin.

2

Main article: Mumble 2

The second Mumble chat is more of a fan Q&A. Trolls ask nonsensical questions about Sonichu, including the wetness of Bubbles's china. Chris is angry that Clyde broke Panda's hymen. Chris says that his children's comic isn't full of sex, it's 'romance'. Even black people can vote in CWCville. Chris says that alcohol is bad because it causes bar fights. Chris can type between 30 to 100 WPM. Chris says that his nudes are photoshopped. Chris says that he is stronger than Clyde and would beat him up, but fails to describe how. A fan asks Chris about a possibly gay friend (based on said friend sitting next to him while playing video games) and a wild Snorlax appears.

3

Main article: Mumble 3

The third Mumble chat starts with small talk, then sex talk between Chris and Julie before Clyde takes over in the later stages. Molvanîa has been destroyed. All of Chris's female characters think he’s handsome. He can’t understand why he’s single. Julie is getting paranoid and wants Chris to protect her. Julie and Chris agree to take each others' virginities and imagine their first time together. Clyde appears and reveals he's heard everything. The two threaten and try to psychoanalyze each other. Clyde denigrates Chris's existence and questions in detail how he'll support Julie or even himself, casting serious doubt on Chris's life skills. Clyde forces Chris to make a video saying that he's gay, threatening to harm Julie if he doesn't.

3.5

Main article: Mumble 3.5

A shorter chat where Clyde chastises Chris for weaseling out of the previously mentioned video. Near the end, Chris admits that his first attempt is "inferior". Chris asks Julie if Clyde can send her flowers and chocolate.

4

Main article: Mumble 4

The fourth Mumble chat is Chris vs Clyde with a little bit of Julie. They start with a game of Tic Tac Toe, where Chris loses pitifully, exhibiting no common sense whatsoever. Clyde probes Chris more on his paltry survival skills. Chris can't name five bills associated with his house and doesn't have a job because he has so many skills that he couldn't find a job to suit him. They discuss the Love Quest. Chris does racist impersonations of black people. Chris sees Archie Bunker as a role model, Clyde as his best friend and wants to apologize to Vivian for not listening to her. Clyde gives him three days to throw away his material possessions.

5

Main article: Mumble 5

As Chris is about to start talking to Julie, the dastardly Clyde Cash appears, as if from nowhere. He continues to berate Chris about his inability to support himself and Julie, exposing his mammoth ignorance of what survival in the real world entails. He has a hundred dollars saved and believes that saving this same amount each month will sustain his family and lies that he has looked for jobs with his degree. Chris admits that Sonichu villains are people who have made him feel inferior in the past. Julie is mostly a background character in this chat, playing half-hearted cheerleader for Chris throughout.

6

Main article: Mumble 6

The sixth Mumble chat is another fan Q&A. Chris is questioned on various issues, which he largely fails to adequately explain. By now he has received the letter from Mike Chandler at Nintendo of America that ends the Miyamoto Saga. Chris can't explain why he doesn't like homos or how he knows that all men are jerks without meeting them. Chris says he's irregular with comics because "It's called a life", but he can't describe his daily schedule at the moment. He can't remember why he admitted his dirty crapped briefs to Clyde. Clyde enters and continues to call out Chris on his ignorance about money. Chris admits $2000 of credit card debt and admits to lying about looking for work. He then lies about his cooking ability and his religion's stance on premarital sex. Chris finishes by admitting to be a homo in German.

7

Main article: Mumble 7

The seventh Mumble chat is another fan Q&A, similar to Mumble 6. Chris has given bad advice in the last chat, causing a fan's girlfriend to leave him. Chris shows no remorse. Trolls try to encourage Chris to make videos proving his strength and showcasing his fighting moves. He claims that the dildo in the vibrator destruction video was glued together and took a lot of strength to pull apart, but later backpedals and says he used shears. The possibility of more Rule 34 in Sonichu is discussed, especially giving Rosechu a pickle. Chris fails at the national anthem and reveals that his mom told him that his Attraction Sign made him look retarded. Chris says he thinks Panda might be dead, but shows no real emotion. Many terrible impersonations are spread throughout this chat. Clyde enters at the end and Chris bolts.

8

Main article: Mumble 8

Mumble Chat 8 is another fan Q&A covering a variety of topics. Chris can't name the ten commandments or the seven deadly sins offhand. Chris tries to convince Julie that premarital sex is OK in his religion, and tries to claim he doesn't hate all homos when he's called on his religious hypocrisy. Chris agrees he would have a threesome with two other men as he tries to choreograph a threesome between himself, Julie and Sarah May. Chris admits recycling, and says that he only goes to McDonald's two to three times a week. Chris calls Sarah May 'Julie' several times throughout the conversation, which causes her to freak out and attempt suicide. While he shows some concern as she's screaming about killing herself, Chris reacts like a sloth on sedatives after her 'death', reassuring himself that he still has Julie.

9

Main article: Mumble 9

The ninth mumble chat is fairly short and follows a very different format. The Miscreants assemble before Chris to taunt and menace him as he stumbles and stutters. They inform him that their goal is to prevent Chris from ever getting china, as he is a racist who doesn't care about women as people. They also reveal themselves as being the real Sonichu fanbase. Panda is the newest member of the Miscreants. They try to make Chris prove that he really loves Julie, but all he can come up with is that he went to a lot of trouble finding Molvanîa on the map. Eventually Chris shouts that he has his Aunt Corrina's funeral tomorrow, tells them all to "fuck off" and leaves.

9.5

Main article: Mumble 9.5

This chat is an extension of the ninth Mumble chat. For some reason, Chris rejoins The Miscreants in the chat. Clyde again accuses him of accomplishing nothing in his life. He says he's been thinking about getting a job and whines about stress. The Miscreants accuse him of not really caring about his deceased Aunt Corrina; only caring that he had to go to a funeral on his birthday. Chris tries to disprove this by pretending to cry. He admits retardation and says that he felt true honest respect from his past sweethearts and gal-pals. Chris says he's learned to tell lies from the truth, as he doubts that these women were trolls. Clyde attacks Chris for his financial stupidity. Chris says that he mostly tells the truth. Chris eventually storms out, and the Miscreants discuss future plans.

10

Main article: Mumble 10

In the tenth Mumble chat, Julie has been kidnapped by Max and 'spirited away' to Miscreant Headquarters. Our hero, Chris-Chan, must wrestle with making the unenviable decision of whether he can be bothered to drive to Cleveland for his true love, and awaits the impending decision of the mythical Powers That Be that will shape the path of his destiny - will he get his mum's permission to go? This entire chat is spent trying to convince Chris to defy his parents' wishes, and allay his fears of being attacked and/or arrested for pedoforkery upon arrival. Clyde Cash makes a brief cameo.

11

Main article: Mumble 11

The eleventh Mumble chat follows the events of Julie Reveals Herself. Chris has a cold. He admits BlueSpike took his PSN and Yahoo account, and that he shoved the Medallion of Fail up his ass. He begins to help BlueSpike with some account troubles in the hope of getting his own accounts back. This chat showcases Chris's odd relationship with reality as he feels the need to state that Billy Mays is not the Mayor of CWCville, that he had transferred his memories between his previous medallions and to his High School Ring and that the changes reflecting this that are yet to be drawn in the comic are also canon in real life.

12

Main article: Mumble 12

The twelfth and final Mumble chat. Chris reacts to very little throughout. Chris is still sick, and working on getting his website back up. Clyde Cash has murdered BlueSpike as a birthday gift for Chris. Chris seems to be mildly surprised that Clyde did this, but shows no real emotion. Chris will reveal how elections in CWCville work in a future 'book', he has to think about it. Chris whines about Clyde dragging him away for his 'work' of getting his website back up. Clyde tells him to go outside. Chris says that he will go out and find a woman locally by being 'very social' and what sounds like 'civil about it'. He then disappears into the murky toy-filled depths from whence he came.

⇐ N/A Mumble Chats Mumble Chat 1


See also