Sex toys

From CWCki
(Redirected from Dildo)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
HonestContent.jpg
This article is rated M for Honest Content

It may contain content deemed not safe for work. Reader discretion is advised.
Tugboat.jpg YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK!
The contents of this page have been bought with taxpayer money!
Social Security Administration seal.png


When he was stuck as a virgin with rage, Chris opted to simulate the experience of sex by purchasing several sex toys. Among some of his more notable sex toys are a vibrator and anal beads.

Although he bought his first toys at a Spencer's Gifts storefront, his provider of choice is Adam & Eve. Chris claimed to the TRUE and LOYAL Sonichu fanbase that most of the toys he owns were sent by the online sex shop as gifts. However, considering the fact that Adam & Eve usually allows customers to choose gifts, and if they are indeed random gifts, what they are depends on the content of the purchase (not to mention Chris never bothering to dispose of or even complain about them).

Chris has also visited Charlottesville sex shop Ultimate Bliss, where he bought a chocolate-flavored condom in hopes of using it for his first time having sex with PandaHalo. In the aftermath of her untimely death in the Australian brushfires, it's not known what became of the condom (although there are some possibilities), or whether Chris has found a way to get himself banned from the store as he has so many other local retailers.

When asked about his visit to the brick and mortar sex store in the CWCipedia Mailbag, Chris responded with a short answer before placing the email in the rejected bin:

I have been there; I recommend WOMAN-Shaped Blow-Up Dolls, the masturbation tubes with the Vaginal-Designed Openings, and ALL their Videos that feature Woman-and-Man or Woman-and-Woman or one-man-and-multiple-women sexual acts.
Chris, recommending STRAIGHT sex toys for STRAIGHT men

List of known sex toys

"...a velvety smooth squeeze that your erection will crave again and again!"
  • Penis pump[1]
  • Vibrator (possibly KIA)
  • Four sex dolls including Officer Nasty, Kimmi, a Booty Licious Love Doll and a Yumi Asian Anime Doll (used on Chris and Jackie's Date.) His order records show that he has purchased at least three Officer Nasty dolls, suggesting that they don't survive too long underneath his considerable girth. He stated in a chat with Vanessa that "After a while of putting my weight carefully on them in the artificial intercourse, they each would have a hole punctured on the inside from my weight, which was irrepairable." In a chat with Jackie, he said the Booty Licious doll suffered the same fate, and that his dolls lasted "at most 27 intercourses".[2] In 2014 he revealed to Catherine that he still owned a "deflated" sex doll, but that he hadn't used it in months, and wasn't very interested in "non-living things."[3]
  • Anal beads – Chris used these once. Describing the experience during a PSN chat, he explained that they became "covered in poo," and he threw them away.
  • Dildo – Gift that went along with a purchase. Chris put a condom on it and stuck it up his ass.[4]
  • Three different penis rings (Pearl Beaded Prolong Ring, Silicone Superstud Power Ring, and Ringo's Cock Ring)
  • Velvet Touch Masturbator and Pink Passion Masturbator
  • A&E Hot Action Lotion
  • Strap-on dildo. Chris bought this primarily in order to use the harness to tuck his genitalia, owing to his immense hatred of his own duck, but at one point he did stick the detached dildo up his ass.[5]
The harness Chris uses for tucking purposes.

Gallery of sex toy purchases

2015 egg vibrators

On 4 December 2015, Chris revealed to all that he bought a set of vibrators- not for sexual purposes, but as a tool to increase the size of his breasts. Scientifically, the helpfulness of this technique has been disputed (if not barely considered by the scientific community at all), but Chris himself favors this method so far and notices a difference in the size of his breasts.

See also

Sources