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Officer Nasty

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Chris violently molesting a police officer. Oh, the humanity.

Officer Nasty was Chris's only sexual partner (until he dumped her ass for Kimmi) and the only Jerkop that he trusts.

Though the only time she went down on him was when she got a puncture. (ba dum, tisch!!!)

According to Chris, Officer Nasty did suffer a 'serious internal injury' and went down in the line of duty. He even claims that he's "been through 3 of the 'Officer Nasty' dolls already" (a claim borne out by records of his orders from the Adam & Eve website). It is hard to discern whether the punctures were caused by his massive girth, his bent duck, or both.

Note that the pictures were not taken in CWC's room, but his family's filthy kitchen. Yes, he actually brought Officer Nasty out of his room, fully inflated.

Ah, it's just my artificial woman in her plastic blue outfit. Awesome to fuck, and the cleaning maintance is simple. She'll only last until she has her internal injury


—Chris on Officer Nasty, the closest thing to a woman he'll ever know the touch of[1]


  1. List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#12 November

See also

Sweethearts and gal-pals

Chris himself: ChloeNight Star

Sweethearts: Blanca WeissPandaHaloJulie MilvanaIvy O'NeilKacey DevoriaJacklyn RomyCatherine Sorrentino

Minor sweethearts: Lori LopezHannaSarah JacksonEmilyVanessa HudgensFaerynJessica Quinn

Sweethearts-to-be: Megan SchroederThe Wallflower (in Chris's words) ♥ DoopieDoOver

Present sweethearts: N/A

Future sweethearts: Lovely Weather

Gal-pals: Sarah Nicole HammerLaura DorazioKellie AndesTiffany GowenAnna McLerranKim WilsonClare Porter

Other acquaintances: Female fanbaseMLP voice actressesPokémon club friendsSam and EllenVirginia Jeanine Sanford

Inanimate objects/Fictional Characters: Officer NastyKimmiMeg GriffinNaru

See also: List of Chris's sweetheartsLove QuestMia Hamm

CWCipedia entry on "Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts"