Chris and money
—Chris, after his car broke down on the way home from BronyCon
Chris has repeatedly shown though his actions and words that he has no idea how to handle money or manage his own finances. Between his impulse spending, his greed and selfishness, his unwillingness to save even the smallest amount of money, and his massive sense of entitlement, Chris manages to demonstrate complete incompetence and ineptitude in managing financial affairs. Chris has repeatedly amassed debt on credit cards, only to have his enabling parents bail him out multiple times. Too lazy to work, he refuses to make or follow any type of budget or financial plan, instead spending far beyond his means, and expecting others to pay off his accumulated debt for him. It is clear that Chris has no idea what financial responsibility is and that his enabling, delusional parents taught him nothing about how to handle finances while he was growing up. Irresponsible, careless, and thoughtless, Chris fails at just about every aspect of financial management that can be thought of.
- 1 But wait, Chris isn't employed!
- 2 Barb's toxic influence
- 3 Credit Cards
- 4 Money-Making Schemes
- 5 In the comic
- 6 In other works
- 7 Conclusion
- 8 See also
- 9 References
But wait, Chris isn't employed!
For the vast majority of Chris's "adult" life, his only source of income has been the "tugboat" that he receives from the U.S. federal government every month. In 2009, the payout was $809 a month, placing his annual income at $9,708. After Bob's death, Chris was given a survivor's benefit – increasing the amount to $1,300 per month and making his annual income $15,600. Barb's income, from Social Security and a pension, is around $1,200 per month.
Chris's parents originally took $450 to pay for room and board; this payment was later increased to $565, and then to $580, after Bob paid off Chris's enormous credit card debt. How much he gets to keep these days isn't known.
Chris and impulse spending
It's obvious that Chris has no grasp on the real value of money, since he actively wastes as much of his monthly tugboat as possible on things like trading cards, sex toys, porn, video games, alcohol, make-up, toys, prostitutes and weekly lottery tickets.
Chris is a self-admitted impulse buyer. His PlayStation Network account shows that he's never played more than half of the games he's bought. And yet, astoundingly, he's still gone out of his way to buy all available downloadable content for every single PlayStation 3 game that he's ever purchased, and even for games he doesn't own, and he also further promoted his Sony fanboyism by later buying a Sony LCD HDTV for his bedroom which likely costs about $1,000-$1,500. All the while, Chris bought his clothes at second-hand discount thrift stores. Usually, children are taught the value of money at a very young age – not in Chris's case, apparently.
In September 2013, Chris complained about he and his mom going through "emotionally depressing, and Financial Downfall to the depths of Greatly Poor and Just Getting By", making it clear that the family income had dipped since Bob's passing. However, these supposedly lean times were apparently not enough to motivate Chris to get a job, or even to stop buying games, as evidenced by him racking up over $1,000 in game purchases on The Simpsons: Tapped Out.
Throughout the summer of 2014, Chris continued to spend thousands of dollars on Lego and other frivolities, all while whining and complaining on Facebook about his and his mother's poor finances. Chris financed this spending primarily with money from selling custom arts and crafts on his eBay account. Offering free shipping to customers, Chris would receive money from customers, and then pay for shipping out of his own pocket. However, Chris would immediately spend money as soon as it was deposited into his account, often leaving him unable to ship products to customers who had already paid him because of his own financial irresponsibility and negligence.
When several of Chris's eBay customers filed complaints against him because Chris failed to ship a order as promised and obligated, Chris responded by harassing and trolling the customers, posting their personal information in a public post on his Facebook account. In light of this, Chris's future money making prospects from eBay are dim, as most prospective future customers probably wouldn't want to risk being harassed or scammed by Chris.
All the while, even as Chris's credit card debt continued to spiral out of control, Chris continued to buy thousands of dollars of video games, Lego, and other frivolities. As if this were not bad enough, just days after putting his and Barb's cars up for sale (at exorbitant prices), Chris went out and bought a 2010 Ford Focus, stating on Facebook that he had been approved for a loan, probably at a high interest rate. He also stated that paying for insurance on his new car was "killing" him, implying that either the insurance payment was costly, that he was having trouble paying it, or both.
In January 2015, it was leaked that Chris had spent an absurd amount of money on Nintendo consoles and games, racking up 585 transactions in the last 4.5 years, a list which includes useless shovelware, hoards of 1st-party Nintendo software, Virtual Console games and both versions of a game he doesn't even like. 276 of these purchases are known to be handheld games, 8 are known to be video game consoles (buying 4 DSs and DSis), and 75 which are known to be console games. The grand total cost of all Chris's listed purchases is $7460.43 or $1657.87/year. Keep in mind 39% of purchases Chris has on his account are not yet specified, meaning that their cost is not included in this already insanely high number. This information comes on the heels of Chris begging people for money to fix his mother's cavities, as well as the financial worries that his trials will undoubtedly cause.
|My friend walks into a gas station/convenience store on the northern edge of Charlottesville.
Chris is trying to buy $7 or so of junk food type stuff, but he only has $5 in cash. The cashier tries to make understand he owes $2 more. Chris seems to understand, but is slow to process what to do about it. My friend who is second in line, picks out two ones, says "here you go" and puts them on the counter. Chris, it seems more out of stupidity and confusion than malice, picks up the $2 and his purchases and makes to leave. My friend and the cashier, both object and yell that he has to leave the $2 with the cashier. Chris doesn't seem to react. A dude who was behind both of them in line is between Chris and the door. As Chris passes him, he taps him to get his attention, and says something like "Hey buddy ..." Chris makes a get-away-from-me hand wavy gesture without looking at any of the three of them, and fairly loudly says "It's Miss!" and hurries out the door. Chris continues to his car in a half run, half walk, as all three of the people in the store watch confused and amused. Chris pulls out of the parking spot, but for some reason heads towards the back of the lot, where there is no exit. As Chris gets to the back of the lot, he stops, backs up a few feet, tries to turn the car around, doesn't make it, backs up again, and finally gets around. Essentially making a 5 point turn in a fairly large empty parking lot. Chris drives past the store again not looking inside, and finally drives off.
One dreads to imagine how his financial incompetence will affect him once Barb is dead - knowing Chris, and while it is quite tragic, he'll probably continue in his destructive spending patterns until he loses everything he has, and even then, he'll learn nothing.
Chris's parental enabling
Bob encouraged his son to remain unemployed, since he believed that Chris would earn more money from his monthly tugboat than he would have from getting a job. However, this assumption was and is inaccurate. Minimum wage in the state of Virginia is $7.25 an hour. If Chris were to somehow do a complete 180° on his life and begin working a full 40-hour week, his monthly payment before taxes and payment for room and board would be about $1,260: that's $15,100 annually. Subtracting the money he pays his mom every month to live, as well as the 5% tax his income range mandates in the state of Virginia, Chris could very likely be left with a ridiculous $8,000, which knowing Chris, would be spent on yet more frivolities. Contrast this with the $2,748 Chris pulled in annually from the government after paying off his parents, and it becomes clear that Bob's encouragement came from either thinking Chris would lose his social security if employed (which he wouldn't) or the more accurate notion that his son is a useless failure.
A very likely explanation for Chris's reckless spending is that his parents are at fault (to a degree at least). In addition to coddling him throughout his entire life, they managed to make sure that Chris has never felt the repercussions for his exorbitant spending (or for anything else) by taking over paying Chris's credit card debt, regularly giving him about "$6 a day for small things", buying him fast food on a daily basis, and continuing to let himself blow all his money on frivolities and useless stuff, as opposed to essentials like hygiene products, courses that could eventually help him onto the employment ladder or clothing that isn't unbelievably tacky. Whenever Chris manages to get himself into trouble, he knows that Barb will come running to his aid and defend him and dig him out of whatever mess he's managed to get himself into, even if it is clear that he is in the wrong. This enabling is the most likely explanation (in addition to his poor impulse control) for why Chris spends himself into debt as much as he does.
|A laptop computer||A ween in N.C.||August 2011||Chris spoke about it in Gratitude for a good person in N.C.. A common theory is that the laptop had been infected with a keylogger, but Chris outsmarted the ween by upgrading the computer.|
|$500||Kiwi Farms||January 2014||Donated by fans after the house fire.|
|$150||Fans||September 2014||From a Kickstarter campaign in which Chris explicitly stated he would use it to buy Legos.|
|$500||Kiwi Farms user Sonic Rainboom||September 2015||Sent Chris a Visa card with $500. Later admitted doing it to get "interesting content".
|Hundreds||Mostly weens||Summer 2016||During the Financhu Crisis, a pattern formed of Chris begging for money, then briefly stating that he had received donations before begging for more money.|
|$2,650||Selling Relics of Fail||August 2016 onwards||Megatron pistol ($50), Sonic Totem ($1,500), Pokéwalker of Fail ($100), shecameforcwc ($1,000, as part of a set)|
|$4,816.43||Patreon||December 2016 onwards||Chris earns pledges from fans and weens every month|
|$1,000||Selling binders of old Pokemon and UFS cards.||January 2018 onwards||Four binders of cards. At least one was purchased by a seller hoping to resell the individual cards.|
|$100||Selling stained pages of Sonichu 14||February 2018||Literally selling trash.|
|$1,300||A fan named Jack Z||April 2018||Jack gave Chris $1,200 for a luxury trip to the 2018 BronyCon in the hopes that he would get to meet him there. Chris thanked him for the money in I have been paid to go; we’ll see if I can go (Seriously To Be Determined). Jack also paid $100 for a video (which Chris decided to bookend with unrelated begging announcements).|
Chris believes that by receiving and spending his tugboat on useless junk, he is aiding the economy and paying for other people's tugboats. This is a damningly moronic conviction, since sales tax goes to the state government and these "tugboats" are paid with federal payroll tax. Where Chris is hiding the printing press to afford this discretionary spending is unknown.
Interestingly enough, while he has no clue how to handle money, Chris has an unhealthy fixation on his material possessions. In Vivitheg's AIM chat, he stated that he did not want to sell any of his stuff, and in the Miyamoto Saga, he refused to sell anything to help raise money for the trip to Redmond. His mother has served as a bad influence in both regards, as she would frequently shop at Goodwill and compulsively hoard the purchases, which both wasted money and helped turn their house into a fire hazard.
After the house fire
On 10 January 2014, 14 Branchland Court caught fire. This would undoubtedly place the Chandlers in grim circumstances, due to the costs of rebuilding the home and replacing what was lost. Some of his fans pooled their funds to send him a care package, with a money order for $500.
Many, concerned about Chris due to his wasteful spending habits, hoped that this would be the moment in Chris's life where he finally woke up and realized the importance of saving when things like this happen. Unfortunately, not even that has broken Chris's thick skull – throughout 2014, he wasted $5,000 on Lego sets.
Barb's toxic influence
According to a troll with insider info, Chris was able to manage his own finances to a rudimentary degree, even after Bob passed away, although he still has an issue with not saving money for potential emergencies.
|Barb is the one who has serious debt. She fucks up Chris' budgeting by erratically taking money from Chris' account when she needs it, generally without warning.
There are two types of Chris begging videos. One is when Chris wants a bit extra for some legos. You can identify those videos by how vague Chris' requests are, and how relaxed Chris is in the video. Chris isn't in meltdown mode in those videos.
Now, the other type of video is when Barb tried to snatch some money from Chris and Chris doesn't have anything for her. You can identify those videos by how freaked out Chris looks. He's visibly distressed and he's citing specific bills he's got to pay, usually things that seem un-Chris-like. That's when Barb is freaking out at him for not having enough money to pay her debts.
The thing is, the perception is that Chris is bad with money. He's not bad with money (as far as monthly budgeting goes). Despite how foggy Chris' head is, he's got enough memory to recognize patterns in bills over the course of a few months. He knows he's gotta pay electricity bills and rent and things like that. And he does do the math each month about what bills he's got to pay, and how much that leaves him for legos and food. You can't trust his begging. He begs because he wants more money, not because he's in any financial straits (that is, not including Barb).
He lives cheaply as shit. He saves money by buying dollar store shit. He's the type of person to buy single ply toilet paper at the dollar store. But sometimes he'll splurge and treat himself to things, like alcohol. He does this all while meeting his obligations, like his minimum payments and his bills.
Information from Cousin Al revealed that Chris and Barb had an inheritance from Bob worth "tens of thousands of dollars". However, Barb spent all of it on hiring Rob Bell to defend herself (...and Chris) from legal charges incurred after the two of them hit Michael Snyder with a car. It should be noted that a state-provided attorney would have been free and yielded the same result (pleading guilty), for the case was so cut-and-dry that even a lawyer of Bell's caliber had no chance of winning it.
In November 2014, Chris revealed to Renee that Barb was borrowing money from his life insurance.
Bank lawsuits against Barb
In 2016, two banks, Discovery and Capital One, sued Barb for not paying over $20,000 total in debts, leaving the Chandlers even further in financial turmoil.
Barb herself appeared in multiple videos in 2016-17, trying to scam people into donating to her.
- Donations Required, Serious. Please help
- Donations Requested, Please
- Donations Further Requested, Please
- EMERGENCY HOME UPDATE
In the first two videos, Barb claimed not to have enough money for asthma medication, and in the third, she claimed to need money for dental work.
If Barb actually needed money for an emergency, she could simply have instructed Chris to sell some of their possessions. In the videos, Chris's toys and Barb's hoard are clearly visible behind them.
That Chris has managed to acquire several credit cards is very surprising, but the foolishness with which he uses them wouldn't surprise anybody at all. As of February 2009, Chris had managed to rack up $2,000 worth of debt (at the time of Mumble 4, $1,000 of that sum came from the PSN store, but his bill for PSN downloads increased by the day) and had even stolen his parents' credit cards to use when his own were maxed out. According to an e-mail Chris sent to Vivian Gee, by January 2010 his debt was around $3,500 and had apparently been higher at some point in the intervening time.
By that point, Chris's debt had gotten so out of hand that Bob was forced to step in, making Chris reduce and manage on his spending, and forcing Chris to make regular payments to pay off his outstanding debt. Chris, thoughtless and uninterested in the fact that unpaid credit card debt accrues severe interest, had historically made payments in the smallest installments possible.
Chris provided some more details about this situation in his e-mails to Jackie from July 2010. At some point, Bob paid off Chris's credit card debt and took payment in installments out of the tugboat in compensation. This foolish act of parental financial enabling allowed Chris to avoid the immediate consequences of his gross financial irresponsibility, and resulted in Chris learning nothing about how to manage his own finances, reinforcing Chris's attitude that he should be able to do anything that he wants and not suffer any negative consequences.
Best Buy MasterCard
Not surprisingly, it only took Chris a few short months to land himself in more financial trouble. In the Matthew Noble call, Bob himself revealed that Chris had not only acquired a MasterCard charge account through Best Buy, but as of the second week of August 2010, Chris had predictably used it to land himself in yet more debt and had been laden with fees for bouncing a card payment.
One of Chris's e-mails to Jackie reveals that Chris acquired the Best Buy charge card without his parents' permission; he only told them about it after receiving 2 bounced check fees that showed up on his bank statement, which his father was actively monitoring. In true Chris fashion, he tried to repay the minimum balance each month. When he was forced to reveal the debt to his parents, Bob was obviously less than thrilled. He promptly took control of Chris's bank account as well as his credit cards. From that point until Bob's death, he received only an allowance in the form of Visa gift cards, leaving him unable to accrue any more debt for a short time. At the time, the prospect of not being able to blow his welfare on frivolities stressed him out.
Curiously, even in his private communications with Jackie, Chris claimed that the overdraft fees that gave away the existence of the card to Bob were the work of trolls. Elsewhere in their conversations, however, he recounts other instances of "getting carried away" and accidentally overdrawing his bank account, suggesting that he was just using the trolls as a handy scapegoat for his own mistakes.
Bob, delusional and in the throes of some sort of conspiracy paranoia involving the staff and patrons of The GAMe PLACe, claimed that it was most likely Michael Snyder who had hacked Chris's credit card and checking accounts, though why someone who's been on a manager's salary for several years would bother stealing from any of the near-destitute Chandlers is unknown.
It's unknown why any financial institution would give Chris a line of credit at this point. Bob probably salvaged Chris's credit rating when he paid off all his prior card debt at once, but he angrily claimed Chris ruined it with the Best Buy debt (certainly true), and, in disturbingly Chris-like fashion, seemed to use this damning information to try to make Chris's latest brush with the law seem "petty" in comparison.
Credit card debt
Unverified information on Chris's credit card debt was leaked on the CWCki Forums on 4 June 2014. It was revealed that Chris had at least five active credit cards, with at least $7600 in combined credit limit. Of the five known active cards, at least four were revealed to be maxed out, with at least $7400 in unpaid debt between the five cards. It was estimated that the minimum payment on Chris's known debt was at least $220 a month, and it was revealed that the only reason that Chris had been able to obtain the credit that he had was that, historically, he had almost always at least paid the minimum payment each month, although it was implied that he rarely if ever paid more than the minimum.
|Chris 'borrowed' three thousand dollars. What he did with it is hazy, sure, but how do you think he bought all those lego sets for Lego Dimensions?|
A payday loan charges extremely high interest rates (usually at least 400%), which does not bode well for Chris, due to his habit of only paying back minimal amounts at a time.
In June 2016, Chris's credit card company raised his credit limit. Chris reacted to this news by blowing his "bonus" on Transformers only to later beg for money over Facebook while blaming his mother for "impulsively" spending more on their overdue bills than the minimum amount due.
Wheeling and Dealing
Chris considers the lottery to be an investment. In September 2010, he told Jackie the following:
|I invest $4 weekly between Win For Life and Mega Millions; two plays each.|
- Main article: Craigslist
In late October 2011, Chris posted a Craigslist ad for a 12-year old 32" CRT television and expected a non-negotiable $250 for it; in reality, this is about the price of a new flatscreen HDTV of that size, and he would be lucky to get a tenth of his asking price.
Chris placed two cars for sale on Craigslist in September 2014. One was a dilapidated, rusty 1997 Cadillac with a cracked engine block that hadn't run in over a year. Despite having a market value (as scrap) of approximately $150, Chris demanded $5,000 for the automobile, insisting that the cracked engine block made the car a great "fixer upper." Chris also placed his mother's BMW z3 for sale. The 1999 BMW z3 is currently listed on the Roanoke Craigslist for $10,000 OBO. Kelley Blue Book estimates the car with 70,000 miles and in a fair condition is worth $4,318. Chris describes the car as "Mint condition Z3 model. Like a go-cart with rocket power. Seriously fun to drive 5 speed and pure joy with the top down. Color is jet black."
- Main article: List of Chris's video games#Chris (barely) lets go
Chris occasionally visits pawn shops or similar businesses, among them Snooky's Pawn Shop, GameStop and Plan 9 Music, to sell his old toys so that he can afford new toys.
- Main article: eBay
Chris has long used Ebay to sell bits of his toy hoard. He doesn’t put much effort into researching prices, and he often lists items at vastly inflated prices. In August 2016, he listed a used VHS of Aladdin with a 'Buy it Now' price of $3,000. There were no (legitimate) takers, probably because one can buy the same edition on Amazon for one penny (plus shipping, but still).
- Main article: Chris and business
- Main article: Kickstarter
On 23 September 2014, Chris opened a Kickstarter project, asking for $5,000 worth of Legos. At the end of the campaign, Chris raised $150 from 27 backers.
Screenshots of the wish list can be found here.
Trolls responded by spamming the "Buying this gift elsewhere?" option. Chris believed that the items disappearing meant that he would be getting lots of toys for Christmas. Of course, he reacted to this supposed good fortune by making another wish list, containing over $1,000 worth of Transformers action figures, Amiibos, and DVDs.
Screenshots of the second wish list can be found here.
He also requested "pretty dresses of blue or red" and gave his measurements as "44/39/40." Notably, one of the items he had marked as highest priority was the Megatron pistol, implying that the original was lost or damaged in the 2014 house fire.
He provided a wish list with several links to stores such as GameStop and Best Buy. Notably, he had ended his "embargo" against those shops, specifically to allow his fans to go there and buy him gifts.
He tried to provide an incentive, by offering a $500 voucher for his Etsy shop:
|The FIRST Person who purchases and sends me one, and I receive it Before or On February 24, 2016, I Will make and issue to the person a Big Voucher for $500 off on Cwcville Shopping. Which is equal to Ten Sonichu/Rosechu family Figures (more or less, depending on which ones), so all the person needs to pay on that order is the Shipping, and that order will definitely take up to Eight weeks for material figure acquiring, creations and certification.|
After his birthday passed with no PS4, Chris uploaded Update: 2/25/16, in which he complained about the lack of gifts, saying he had only gotten empty gift cards and a non-winning lottery ticket. He concluded the video by saying, "thanks for nothing!" In March 2016, Chris claimed that he had received a PS4 from Kagney Lynn Moore. In reality, Chris had bought it himself.
In November 2016, Chris posted another wish list, days after making death threats against President-elect Donald Trump. He requested $859.71 worth of toys. He also forbade people from sending him gift cards.
Halfway through November, Chris tweeted that he had bought several of the toys off his own wish list.
On 26 November, Chris updated his wish list, removing the items he had bought from itand surprisingly not adding more toys, in spite of the Help, please begging video he had made in the meantime. However, the updated wish list's links were all broken, due to Chris simply copy-and-pasting the message from an earlier post. He failed to notice, even though the post has a large Page Not Found error thumbnail on it.
Chris has monetized most of the videos which appear on his YouTube channel, as another way of profiting from his internet infamy. As further proof of Chris's entitlement issues, Arthur Spatchcock discovered that at one point around March 2016, Chris received $80 and was "pissed" that he hadn't gotten more.
|This is going to become a pattern. Chris is going to do one of his 'Let's Plays' followed by an e-begging video and then polish it off by purchasing some dumb thing he doesn't need in excess of fifty bucks. He knows how this system works and it's the greatest amount of payoff with the least amount of work; the first time when Chris played Destiny he made 80$ from Youtube(And was surprisingly pissed it was that small, fuck that, I want eighty bucks from Youtube). Then he makes a video whining about how he needs more money and lo and behold, he gets even more~! If anything people are contributing to his float and that convinces him he can get away with being frivolous that much more.|
In March 2016, Arthur Spatchcock introduced Chris to the idea of doing Let's Plays to boost his online activity and help him gain some money through YouTube's monetization program. The plan fell apart after Let's Plays of Destiny and Uncharted, since by that point, Chris was too lazy to play video games for money, and he simply wanted to beg from his audience instead.
On 23 May 2016, Chris announced the debut of a Support button on his YouTube channel to replace the Etsy donation listing (which was forcibly removed due to it violating Etsy's TOS). He apparently got this idea from William Elliott Waterman.
Announced on 11 May 2017.
I am the original creator of Sonichu and Rosechu, with more than eleven comic books worth of content under my helm. Please donate to help me quell my financial problems that quell my creativity.
On 19 June 2016, aka Father’s Day, Chris decided to become a prostitute.
He has yet to receive any takers.
- Main article: Financhu Crisis
In 2014, after his house caught fire, Chris again resorted to e-begging for money, placing extra emphasis on "My mother and I really need the money," despite dropping more than $5,000 on expensive Lego sets to feed his worsening addiction. One would think that Chris would have wised up to the fact that his wanton spending and lack of gainful employment are contributing to his woes, but one glance at his May 2014 Facebook Posts could easily tell you that he's seeing his situation as an avenue to get stuff from people, the most ridiculous of which being a "$300 Sea Cow" on his wish list, which would not benefit anybody but himself in the slightest.
In 2016, Chris's e-begging drastically increased, as a result of the Chandlers' stubborn refusal to live within their means. That year saw Chris spend over $1,000 on toys, while both Chris and Barb had court cases resolved which penalized them with steep costs. In addition, Barb joined in to the begging, appearing in three videos so far.
He asked for donations, or at least mentioned them, in many of the posts and videos he made in 2015 through 2016. At first, this was supposedly to fund his production of Sonichu merchandise, but he later shifted to saying that he and Barb needed help with paying the bills and buying groceries. While it's entirely possible that Chris was simply lying to get more money for useless crap, this indicates that the financial hardships, which many people have warned him about, have finally arrived. Only time will tell how his financial situation ultimately plays out, but given his attitude and inaction, the future definitely doesn't seem bright.
In the comic
In the comic it is clear Chris has no idea how money works. Sonichu, Rosechu, Patti-Chan, and most likely all of the other characters live off welfare, just like Chris in real life. He seems to have no concept of tax, or that it's the American populace who pay for his bullshit. Sonichu and Rosechu are living in a two-story house with an attic offered by the city and they are "paid" in average of US$3,500 a month just to hang around. And maybe for the occasional city defense or errand.
In Episode 19, it's shown that CWCVille actually issues its own currency, in the form of C-Quarters and W-Quarters. Ten C-Quarters make up a W-Quarter - don't bother asking how that makes sense in any way, considering what the word "quarter" means. (Our best guess: C-Quarters = US$0.25, W-Quarters = US$2.50) Nor does it explain why fines are levied in U.S. dollars: perhaps to bolster the dictatorship's foreign currency reserves, à la North Korea.
This makes even less sense considering CWCVille is part of the United States. States, let alone cities, cannot print their own money, despite holding considerable power over their own affairs. The Constitution expressly forbids anyone else other than the federal government from issuing currency. However, it has been somewhat common for companies, communities and local governments to issue localized currency known as 'scrip', a depression era practice still seen from time to time. Chris being Chris, and likely reading Goosebumps instead of paying attention in class likely is wholly unaware of this information.
On the CWCipedia article on Sonichu, Chris wrote that Rosechu is usually the one who cooks for her family, but when Sonichu cooks for his wife and kids he "will go as HIGH in portions as a Banquet", even though he only cooks for five individuals. This suggest that Sonichu is just as frivolous with money as his father.
Chris shows us his complete misunderstanding of the stress his ideas would put on the American Social Security system if he was left in charge of it in a text called "A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story." This is where the idea of "Soup Hotels" came from.
—Chris with a very bad idea that has come to fruition in one American city...
Chris depicts "Soup Hotels" as buildings ten stories tall with between ten and twenty rooms per floor, equipped with single bathrooms, beds, lighting and cable television. Of course, the homeless stay there for free. So, instead of building homeless shelters with dormitories, common rooms, and shared TV sets, Chris thinks the homeless should be treated to all the comforts of a bona fide hotel. This means that, in CWCville, there are around 1,500 homeless people left outside. This might be the result of the local industry, choked by heavy taxes needed to pay those social expenses, being unable to make a profit there and thus moving away.
In Sonichu #10, Ultra Sonichu and a bevy of Rosechus stop at a soup hotel. The building is labeled Soup Hotel 17, implying that CWCville has had to open at least seven new homeless shelters in the span of a month, or they're just bad at numbering the things. Or more tellingly, that the economy of CWCville is crashing to the ground, fast.
In other works
In Mumble 6, Chris discussed making a TV show called The Chris Chandler Show. One of his demands was the show should not have any commercial breaks, either showing a distinct lack of understanding as to how a TV station makes money, or perhaps he plans to sell the advertising fees to a single company so that they can play a long ad in the beginning of the air time and leave the rest of the show uninterrupted, à-la the season premieres of 24. We cannot know for sure, but he has probably seen at least one show that has done this, and gathered the idea from there.
In Mailbag 29 he stated that $10 an hour is a reasonable price to pay for sex with a prostitute. To show his further ignorance of simple economics, Chris proposed a chain of state-run brothels where this shockingly inexpensive fee would not only pay women for sex, pay the salary of a pimp, pay for STD testing for the prostitutes, but would also pay for free Sex Ed classes for virgins.
In real life, according to Chris, he tried to scam his way out of paying for sex with a Craigslist prostitute who was charging $100 per hour by telling her about the trolls, his life story, and his many personal problems. He said the prostitute then hung up on him.
Chris also proves us that, in the possibility of being part of a family, he wouldn't be the main purveyor. In the PlayingHouse video, his sweetheart of the moment is portrayed as a successful journalist with high ambitions while he's a stay at home Dad. Even then, he portrays himself doing "hard work" like changing diapers and watching over the kids. In this last role, he's so incompetent that he needs to recruit his preschool daughter to watch over his son while he's shopping. This is paralleled by his real life situation - with Bob gone, one would assume that he'd be the "man of the house" and assume some responsibility for once. Unfortunately, as evidenced by his admission in court, Barb is still pulling his ass out of any such concept by paying his court fees. Keep in mind that, by extension, Chris is being minded by an ailing woman's retirement money which was used to bail him out of a mess that he started, while he wastes his own money on meaningless frivolities.
Given Chris's carefree abandon when it comes to his spending habits, many are actually concerned as to what will happen to Chris when Barb passes on and he has to fend for himself. If past (and present) experiences are any indication, it's that if Chris continues on his path of not saving his money and spending it on frivolous crap that he doesn't need, he'll wind up broke and in severe debt. A past conversation with Clyde Cash revealed that he doesn't even know the basic expenses that go into running a household, and we all know how Chris's plan of marrying a sweetheart to dump all of the financial responsibilities on her will turn out.
Long story short, if Chris doesn't start saving for his future now, then when Barb finally passes on, he won't have one to look forward to. And he'll have nobody to blame but himself. (Not that he won't try, of course.)
- Waiting for the tow truck
- Emily Date Conversation Transcript
- Miyamoto Saga
- Vivian Gee E-mails, 2009#8 December
- Jackie Chat 8
- Jackie E-mails 12
- Destruction Of Chris's House#Aftermath and reaction
- Mailbag 34#In which Chris fails economics forever
- Destruction Of Chris's House#Aftermath and reaction
- Lego#Addiction and Financial Ruin
- May 2014 Facebook Posts
- Catherine#The bowling outing
- Open Relationship E-mails#Barb is borrowing from Chris's life insurance
- CWCki Forums: "Chris and his finances: An in-depth review of his debt" (archived version)
- Jackie E-mails 15
- Jackie E-mails 12
- December 2015 Facebook Posts#Chris reveals his measurements
- February 2016 Facebook Posts#GIMME STUFF FOR MY BIRTHDAY
- March 2016 Facebook Posts#PS4 Thanks
- Twitter#More wish list demands
- November 2016 Facebook posts#Updated wish list
- Donations Required, Serious. Please help
- Donations Requested, Please
- Donations Further Requested, Please
- Mailbag 21#Home economics
- Chris Chan Q&A 27 October 2008
- CWCipedia on Life and Children Sonichu
- Mailbag 20#This still implies that CWCville has a massive homeless problem