—Bob, at peace.
|Name||Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.|
|Also known as||Bob|
|Date of Birth||4 September 1927|
|Date of Death||6 September 2011 (aged 84)|
|Spouse||Patricia Faye Harley (1956-1980)|
Barbara Weston (1980-2011)
|Children||Dr. David Alan Chandler|
Carol Suzanne Chandler
Christian Weston Chandler
Cole Smithey (stepson)
|Father||Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. (1906-1977)|
|Mother||Jean Holloman (1906-1945)|
|Education||Auburn University (engineering)|
Robert Franklin Chandler Jr. (4 September 1927–6 September 2011) was the father of Christian Weston Chandler, Carol Chandler and David Alan Chandler, the stepfather of Cole Smithey, and husband of Barbara Weston Chandler. Bob became a firm favorite with trolls due to Chris's antipathy towards him and for his infamous cameo when he walked in on Chris mass debating; his nickname, "The Internet Lumberjack," came from this incident, no pun intended.
Despite being estranged from his other children and despised by his stepson, Bob was widely viewed as a better parent than his wife Barbara. This was due to Bob being somewhat concerned with Chris's idiotic behavior, and the fact that he occasionally tried to encourage a modicum of responsibility in Chris's pathetic life, bringing up the fact that he devoted 29 years to raising the selfish manchild. Of course, Chris was almost entirely unaffected by Bob's efforts to better him, but unlike Barb he at least made the effort.
Bob was always eager to chat, and indeed much of the known information about Bob's life comes from conversations he had with trolls. Whether in person or over the phone Bob appeared to relish the opportunity to speak with just about anyone.
Bob died of complications from heart failure on 6 September 2011, at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU surrounded by his family, his pastor and hospital staff.
- 1 Biography
- 2 Relationships
- 3 Later life, poor health and death
- 4 Cause of death
- 5 Obituary
- 6 In memoriam
- 7 Appearances
- 8 Gallery
- 9 Fan tributes
- 10 References
- 11 External links
Bob was born in Fort Worth, Texas and was, according to his freshman Auburn University yearbook, raised in Sylacauga, Alabama. He was the first child of Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. (1906-27 December 1977), an Insurance Agent from Alabama who was allegedly half Cherokee, and Jean Holloman (1906-10 May 1945), a Housewife from Texas. Bob mentioned having a cousin and several Cherokee relatives in Oklahoma. His Cherokee heritage was disputed by a distant relative.
Bob has said that he was "interested in the world" around him since he was ten, and began collecting foreign stamps as a child in the 1930s. He also developed an interest in foreign music, eventually collecting some 15,000–20,000 LPs from various genres and cultures. It is not clear how this collection fared in the fire, but it was apparently not a total loss, as Chris offered to sell some of the albums to Catherine's cousin Al in late 2014.
Service and education
A 1942 yearbook from Sylacauga High School in Bob's hometown of Sylacauga, Alabama (which can be seen on Classmates.com) lists a "Bobby Chandler" as a member of the freshman class and as a member of the school's glee club, suggesting that he graduated from this school in the spring of 1945 before matriculating at Auburn University in Auburn, Alabama as an Aeronautical Engineering major during the fall of this year.
Bob was drafted out of College as a special draftee who apparently had knowledge that the Army desired (Majoring in Aeronautical Engineering, Auburn University, Freshman p. 95 of the 1946 yearbook ) in 1946 after World War II and placed in the Signal Corps. There, he learned how to install valve systems, switchboards, and telephones. After basic training and Signal School, Bob was sent to Korea for a year to install infrastructure with the American occupation force. He was entitled to the WWII Victory Medal due to the dates of his service and his service number was 44107856 . When he got out in 1948 he studied Pre-Engineering for two years at Jacksonville State Teachers College in Jacksonville, Alabama. He then returned to Auburn University where he studied Electrical Engineering and graduated in 1952 (page 269 of the 1952 yearbook)  G.I. Bill.
Since he figured he'd get "swallowed up" at a big college, Bob picked a small college (Jacksonville) after leaving the military. He was also in a band and learned a lot about music. He then moved onto Auburn University, a big college, to earn a type of engineering degree, although it's never specified (mechanical, electrical etc.). As an engineer, he never learned to spell properly. While he was at Auburn, he was a member of Phi Mu Alpha, a social frat dedicated to men who are interested in music.
Bob worked for Western Electric as an engineer for 40 years. There he designed a variety of electrical subsystems. He eventually went to work for General Electric in upstate New York. Since New York is too cold (and Yankee) for Bob, he moved away after three years, working in North Carolina for some time. He worked with both Goodrich and Goodyear.
With General Electric, Bob was responsible for at least seven patents. Barbara claimed, in an e-mail to Miyamoto, that without Bob's influence in the computer world, the NES "might not have arrived so soon", ignoring the fact that the NES was designed and released in Japan in 1983 without the influence of the American electronics.
—The General Manager at G.E.
Examples of Bob's accomplishments include an automated steel mill for rolling steel for cars, a paper mill for the production of Kleenex, warehousing, railroads and tanker ships. He designed scooters, die casting machines, machines for producing plastic products and a vehicle logging system. Both Chris and Barbara have bragged that Bob designed controls that were used in plastic water container molding machines.
When exactly Bob did retire is not known. During the 1980s the standard age of retirement for men in America was 65, with many choosing to retire even sooner. Bob was born in 1927, meaning that he was most likely retired by the late 80s or early 90s. The Richmond Times-Dispatch article about Chris's name change clearly says that Bob was retired at the time the article was publised (29 December 1993).
Bob himself was proud of his "natural inclination for logic", although he was "inundated" by all his designs and whether he did good for the world. Would plastic water bottles lead to mankind's salvation or utter destruction? Only time would tell.
Politically, Bob was identified as a Republican, and did not vote for Barack Obama in the 2008 presidential election. With that being said, in the time leading to the Virginia gubernatorial election of 2009, Bob had misgivings about Bob McDonnell, the Republican candidate and eventual winner of the election. Bob and Chris considered the option of writing in Snoopy rather than voting for any of the candidates listed on the ballot.
In a potentially damaging moment on 18 February 2009, Bob doubted the existence of Molvanîa, Julie's country of origin. However, he continued talking under the assumption that Molvanîa was under Russian control. However, he rather damningly failed to question why Julie spoke perfect English with an American accent.
Bob and Patricia separated on 28 June 1976 before divorcing on 28 January 1980. Bob's relationships with David and Carol were strained in his later years. Chris did not know he had a niece, via David, named Savannah until she was 8 years old, and Bob's relationship with Carol was even more strained. According to Chris, Bob was always concerned about Carol. None of the Chandlers knew what was going on with her, and last they heard she was working for the government, implying that she did not show up to her father's funeral.
Bob and Barbara met in a bar on a karaoke night. Barbara was there with friends and Bob was singing. According to Chris, Barbara did the pursuing: "She chased him down the hall." This is probably why he figures that he could get away with being passive in terms of courtship. In contrast, Cole's friend Chuck, who worked at the bar, has a vivid memory of them being drunk retards.
According to Chris, Barbara did not have sex with Bob for at least two decades before his passing. They had been sleeping in separate rooms for the past few years.
Bob married Barbara when her son Cole was 17, around the time Cole left to lead his own life.
Cole feels that Bob's bitterness worked to separate his relationship with his mother. Cole said he would celebrate "when that fuck Bob finally drops,"  but it is unknown if he did so. Cole said that he and Bob shared a mutual hatred, though there isn't any proof that Bob hated Cole. In the least, it is certain that Bob knew Cole didn't like him.
—Bob Chandler, Internet lumberjack.
When Chris was a boy, Bob encouraged him to learn more about the world and tried sharing his interests and hobbies, including engineering, geography and stamp collecting.
When Chris was seven, Bob converted a shed in the backyard of 14 Branchland Court to a workshop where he and Chris could build things together, dubbing it the "dreaming studio." Chris could not recall what they had built together when asked about it in the years following Bob's death; he and Barb had been using the space for hoard storage.
Bob wished that Chris was more interested in the world. He tried to teach Chris about foreign geography such as Europe and Australia, but he thought (correctly) that Chris doesn't understand countries and continents beyond what he's seen on television, and only can associate with the places he's physically been to in Virginia.
Bob enjoyed collecting stamps as a boy growing up in the 1930s, and he continued to do so for several decades, with a focus on the United Nations and foreign countries, building a collection of stamp albums which filled six boxes. He taught Chris about his hobby, buying him a beginner's stamp album in 1992. Chris seemed to enjoy the hobby as well, since he had many pages of stamps filled in. In 2017, Chris began selling pieces of Bob's stamp collection to pay bills. True to form, he priced Bob's valuable pieces at decent prices, generally for $5 per set, but tried to sell his personal stamp album for $1,000. It was later revealed in Bob's written letters to Chris that he wanted Chris to learn about and treasure the heirlooms he left him, a request that fell on deaf ears.
Chris has often complained about stressful confrontations with his father:
—Chris, IRC (31 December 2008)
However, the many instances of Bob communicating with trolls show that he was generally pleasant and amicable, not at all inclined to start arguments, as Chris asserts. As seen during the lead up to the fateful encounter between Emily, Chris and The Man in The Pickle Suit, Bob seemed to be more than happy to discuss stories with people, even those he hadn't seen or heard that much of - Robert Simmons V, who met Bob during his visit to Chris's church conversed with him extensively, later saying that he was a 'really pleasant guy'. The antagonism to which Chris refers is likelier to be Bob attempting to constructively criticize Chris in order to better him, as Chris deeply resents being told what he does not want to hear.
An example of this criticism was Bob telling Chris that, since Bob had looked after Chris for 29 years despite his childish and outrageous behavior, Chris should show more gratitude towards him. Chris was completely dismissive, figuring that his father was obligated to take care of him, and seeing no reason he should demonstrate any foreign concepts like "love", "support", "gratitude", and "willingness to help". Reinforcing Bob's point, Chris would still run for his father's aid when he felt threatened, as in the later parts of the Kacey and Liquid Call.
Despite Bob's occasional frustration over Chris's actions, he seemed to have bought into the theory that Chris is tormented by a complex network of enemies spanning the entire world, due to the success that he has earned from his own Sonichu franchise. In the Matthew Noble call, it appears that Bob seemed to be the origin of Chris's tendency to bring up unrelated mishaps and debacles to make current incidents and sources of stress seem "petty" in comparison.
Once during a phone call with trolls, Bob stated that Chris had accomplished significant goals in his adult life. However, it is unknown if Bob actually believes that (not to mention what accomplishments he was referring to), or it was just something he was saying because he didn't want to admit to complete strangers that his son was a total failure in life and a leech on society.
He seemed never to get past the notion that Chris could and had achieved things, given that he continued to have to nursemaid Chris well into his son's late 20s. In the later parts of 2009 and throughout 2010, as chronicled in Chris's e-mails with Vivian Gee and Jackie, Bob had been forced to take an increasingly active role in controlling Chris's spending and debt, paying off Chris's credit cards with his own money in an attempt to prevent interest charges from spiralling even further out of control. By the fall of 2010, he was monitoring Chris's bank accounts on a daily basis and keeping him on a strict allowance. Upon finding out about Chris's escapades in early 2011, Bob's reaction was to question Chris's sexuality, at one point even calling him a fag.
Chris has said specifically that he doesn't have to love his father, but has to respect him. Confidential details collected after Bob's death, however, suggests Chris was more emotionally attached than he let on, providing rare and precious evidence that Chris doesn't take the presence or others for granted.
In December 2012, Chris uploaded the soundtrack from the 1990 WTJU Jazz Marathon, in which Bob was a performer and a host. It was notable as one of the few moments where Chris publicly honored his father's memory since the latter's passing in September 2011.
Bob lives on his son's memory. Chris noted the occasion of his father's passing by attaching angel wings to the Lego minifigure representing him, and displaying two photos of him in front of his TV. He often visits Bob in his dreams.
Due to the influence of at least one of the three known Idea Guys, Chris expressed beliefs that Bob is half-Sonichu and is apparently still alive in the CWCville dimension. These beliefs began around December 2017 and continued even after the Idea Guys had been removed from power, as shown by the below quote from 2018's Father's Day.
#HappyFathersDay to each and every Father in This World and in Every Single Other Dimension Too! My father is alive again! I still love him, even in his checker-patterned glory! ⚡️💙❤️⚡️
Later life, poor health and death
Bob lived on social security and his General Electric pension. He never really had people to chat with at home (he would ramble to total strangers on the phone if he could), so he sat around, listened to music, and took care of the garden inside the greenhouse. With a 1970s stereo system set up in the greenhouse, he went to "swing with the music" on his swing there.
Bob had two triple bypasses and four heart attacks. The two triple bypass operations took place in August, 1980. He wore an artificial pacemaker. In one prank call, Bob revealed that after surgery for cancer it was discovered that he had a fluid build up in his legs, which is symptomatic of heart failure. This rapid decline in health worried him. He attributed his long life to the Cherokee in him. His uncles and grandfather all lived past 90. Despite his heart troubles he continued to eat at Burger King daily.
On 1 March 2010, Chris tweeted that Bob had been taken to the hospital in the early morning for "congested [sic] heart failure". Chris seemed confident that his father was not in for a long stay. Considering Bob's age, lifestyle, and long history of heart disease, Chris did not seem to grasp the seriousness of his heart failure. Bob had been the only thing keeping the Chandler household from imploding, and as such, trolls and white knights alike wished him the very best.
In the month following Bob's hospitalization, Chris was remarkably quiet on the subject of his father. News about his condition was hard to come by, as information only arose when Chris was inclined to complain about it online. Statistically, congestive heart failure is not as immediately fatal as its name implies, but Bob's age, prior heart attacks and lifestyle made this a very serious situation.
Chris's videos over the month of March made no mention of Bob at all. Staying true to his painfully predictable nature, Chris instead lost a girlfriend he never had, made racial slurs and death threats towards a cartoon character, and raged against abstinence. His silence on the subject of his father was probably because of genuine ignorance of the seriousness of his father's condition.
A poster on /cwc/ contacted Chris via PSN regarding Bob. He posted a screen capture of Chris's response, saying, "He is doing much better, thank you." Another contacted Chris via email and got a response saying, "Yes, my father is healthy and safe." Clearly he was neither, but this was at least proof that Bob hadn't joined the Whites-Only section of Heaven just yet. In late May, Chris finally made a brief mention in a public video that his father was "alive and well." Chris was, at least, half right.
A breakdown of Bob's final months reads as follows.
On 24 March 2011, Bob claimed in a phone call to have cancer of some description.
On 23 April 2011, in an e-mail to Jackie, Chris revealed that Bob had received surgery for colon cancer.
On 20 July 2011, it was revealed that Bob knew about Chris's cross-dressing tendencies and, like Barb, vehemently disapproved of them.
In early September 2011, Bob was rushed by ambulance to Martha Jefferson hospital with heart failure. It was discovered later that Bob had been put into quarantine when he arrived because his body was covered in bug bites and he posed a contamination risk. On the sixth of that month, he died at age 84. Out of respect for him and his family, the CWCki was closed for a week, 12-19 September, with the start date coinciding with the day Bob's funeral service was held. Site visitors were directed to a page which simply read "Robert Franklin Chandler Jr. 1927-2011".
Cause of death
Despite the fairly clear-cut nature of the lumberjack's passing, Chris has since declared that the trolls were responsible for Bob's death. In an email leaked on 22 March 2014, Chris claims that the stress of his trolling led to Bob's heart attack. This keeps in the trend Chris has developed of blaming any and all misfortunes (even those faced by everyone, like burying a family member) on trolls.
Even for Chris this is appalling behavior; using the death of his own father as a vehicle to play the victim and attempt to stave off trolls. While it's not uncommon for those who have lost loved ones to blame their deaths on external causes (however impossible or insane, as in this case) Chris's actions are motivated purely out of selfishness and egotism – business as usual.
Years later, in 2017, Chris revised his claim and said that Bob was killed after hospital staff surprised him with a "Loud Noise". He went on to say that he had more freedom when Bob was alive.
Both Barb and Chris collaborated in writing Bob's obituary, which was published in two local papers. Main points of the obituary, apart from the standard birth date, date of death, and next of kin, include:
- Text going into unusual detail about what Bob did at General Electric.
- The location of the memorial service, "to follow on a later date", at Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church, the church that Barb, Bob and Chris used to frequent together. This is the same church that Rocky Shoemaker counsels Chris from.
- A footnote asking readers to not donate flowers, but to donate money to Barbara and Chris.
With Chris taking part in writing the obituary, it's amazing that the writing stayed focus on Bob and did not once mention Sonichu or become about Chris.
- Robert Franklin Chandler Jr., 84, of Ruckersville, passed away the morning of Tuesday, September 6, 2011, at Martha Jefferson Hospital ICU surrounded by family, pastor and hospital staff.
- He was born on September 4, 1927, in Texas, the son of the late Robert Franklin Chandler Sr. and Jean Holloman Chandler. On June 7, 1980, he married Barbara Anne Weston, who survives. And the couple gave birth to a son, Christian Weston Chandler, who survives. Also surviving is ex-wife, Patricia, and their shared children, son, Dr. David Alan Chandler, survives, and daughter, Carol Suzanne Chandler, survives.
- He graduated from Auburn University with a degree in Engineering.
- He served in the United States Army Seoul Korea in the Signal Corp during the Korean War. He worked for General Electric as an Engineer with Steels, Plastics, etc. He also had patents for the controls for Plastic Molding Machines; without him, we would not have even a simple plastic funnel.
- Also surviving are granddaughter, Savannah Chandler, the daughter of David Alan Chandler and his wife, Kimberly.
- A funeral service will be held at Monticello Memory Gardens in Charlottesville, Virginia, 10 a.m. Monday, September 12, 2011. A memorial service to follow on a later date at Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church.
- Instead of flowers, you may make monetary donations to his widow, Barbara Chandler and son, Christian Chandler.
Bob is often seen as a gregarious, hard-working man (all things considered). Trying (albeit without success) to refine Chris into someone that could at least pass for a responsible adult, giving him mock job interviews and chaperoning him on dates, where he proved (unsurprisingly) more adept at charming the date than Chris.
On the other hand, we have him to thank for some of his son's more backwards worldviews. He was also supposedly an abusive stepfather; he certainly managed to alienate his other children enough that his daughter didn't attend his funeral, or keep in touch while he was alive. Much like his son, little of what he said or believed had any connection to reality, and he helped Chris to construct bizarre conspiracy theories to justify trespassing and the like, among other things. He, like Barbara, enabled Chris's crippling dependence on them, general immaturity and irresponsibility, and his myriad of other flaws. He never made any serious effort to improve his son for the better, even when he caught him masturbating in the kitchen.
Ultimately, few remember Bob as a positive influence on Chris, though he's generally looked at more favorably than Barbara.
—Bob, Sonichu 12
In "Spring Break, 2008", a radio announcement from Jamsta Sonichu mentions that Bob founded CWCville in 1982, presumably after Chris's birth on 24 February given that Bob named the city after his newborn son. Comic Bob presumably served as mayor before Chris took the office at an unknown date. At other points, Bob was mentioned in Chris's tangents about hating men other than himself and his father.
In "Date Ed", there are two dolls for the class to practice talking to, girls received "Robert" dolls, while boys received "Barbara" dolls, an obvious reference/homage to Bob and Barb.
In Sonichu 12, Bob appears in a set of pages that combine an autobiographical account of Chris coming out as a tomgirl to his parents, and a tribute to his late father. He is depicted as an elderly man, as the page took place in 2010 (due to Chris's Oedipal complex, Barb is depicted as much more youthful). He attempts to dissuade Chris from continuing his tomgirl lifestyle, although Chris states that Bob later "told me he accepts and love [sic] me for who I am" shortly before his passing in 2011.
Chris concludes Bob's appearance in the book with a photo in memoriam of his life, saying that he and Barb continue to miss him every day.
In August 2017, Chris unveiled a drawing of the Chandler family depicted as My Little Pony characters, saying that they will make further appearances in Sonichu 12-9. The ponified Bob, known as "Gallop Crush", appears as Night Star's father, reaffirming the self-insert nature of Chris's ponysona.
As a toy
Audio and video
In every appearance, Bob has proven himself to be better at charming Chris's sweethearts than Chris himself (not a difficult feat, to be fair).
- 1990: Bob appeared as the DJ to the WTJU Marathon.
- 26 February 1994: Bob appears briefly behind Chris from 0:26-0:36 in the news report of the Sonic Watch & Win Sweepstakes.
- 14 February 2009: Bob Walks In to Chris mass debating.
- 18 February 2009: In BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5 and 3.7, Bob rambles to Julie.
- 15 March 2009: Bob talked to Robert Simmons V at church while Chris went to shit himself.
- March 2009: Bob chaperoned Chris on his date with Emily.
- 27 March 2009: Bob gets intruded by Chris in the Tour of Christian's House, but is not visible.
- 27 August 2009: Bob enters Chris's room and scolds him for making the house tour, (correctly) fearing that if someone saw the house as it was, they would be evicted (Uncut version only). This is a momentous occasion, showing some awareness on the part of the Chandlers that the filth and squalor they live in is a health hazard. This video subsequently off a wave of emails and calls to the Greene County Health Department, masterminded by trolls who hoped to realize Bob's fear of eviction, but the campaign was seemingly unsuccessful.
- November 2009: Bob and Snorlax make a brief appearance at the end of the Kacey and Liquid Call.
- 15 August 2010: In his final outing on the damn Internet, Bob gets a call from the GAMe PLACe and is informed of Chris's actions earlier in the year. He then goes on a tangent about how Chris has been tormented by everyone ever since he was banned, and then demands Michael Snyder's information. Barbara also is audible at the end of the call.
- Prank calls: Bob answered several of these.
|Stardate||10 September 2011|
|Subject Matter||Metal Gear Solid|
|TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos|
|Tribute to Bob Chandler|
|Stardate||11 September 2011|
|TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos|
|RIP Bob Chandler|
|Stardate||29 September 2011|
|TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos|
- Idea Guy#Sonichu genealogy for Chris, Bob and Ted Bundy
- Planted by Idea Guy, mentioned in Count Dankula interview
- Email to Blanca
- Bob Walks In
- http://web.archive.org/web/20130211071324/http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/dailyprogress/obituary.aspx?n=robert-franklin-chandler&pid=153539600 (archive from 11 Feb 2013) Cite error: Invalid
<ref>tag; name "BobObit" defined multiple times with different content
- Prank calls
- Emily Date Conversation Transcript#About Bob (7:18 - 16:45)
- http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2y47mWzzz1qblvg5o1_1280.jpg (Mirror: File:Bob Chandler's birth certificate.jpg)
- Prank calls#Bob Calls Himself
- Prank calls#A Redneck calls Bob Chandler
- Chandler Family Tree#Ancestry.com content
- BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7
- Emily Date Conversation Transcript#The Date Begins (4:47 - 7:17)
- Miyamoto Saga#Barbara
- File:Bob 25th Anniversary at General Electric.jpg
- Growing Older in America: The Health and Retirement Study
- IT TOOK A TALKING BEAR TO GIVE THE NAME A YOUNG BOY LOVES
- Regina e-mails#Wikipedia: The answer to everything
- BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5
- File:1980 1 28 - Bob, Patricia divorce.png
- 6 March 2007 email, page 2
- CWC's Diary#January 2004
- Mumble 3.5
- File:1980 6 7 - Borb marriage license.jpeg
- IRC (27 December 2008)
- Email from Cole to Chris
- Emily Date Conversation Transcript#Raising Chris-Chan (16:46 - 00:00)
- IRL Tour of 14 Branchland Court
- BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7
- I'm selling my father's stamp collection; come on down and buy some of it
- eBay#Chris's stamp album
- eBay - see listings for their stamp collections.
- Church audio
- Matthew Noble call
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNHIbffirxU&feature=player_embedded(dead link as of Jul 2014)
- Mumble Chat 1
- Seen at 4:24 in CWC Lego Manchester High School Oct 18 2013
- March 2012 Facebook Posts
- OkCupid Answers
- Mumble 3
- Prank calls#Calls to Bob and Chris
- Trollin Train#Hey, guys (Sun 22 Aug 2010)
- American Heart Association PDF "What Is Heart Failure?"
- February 2017 Facebook Posts#Claiming hospital staff killed Bob
|Christian Weston Chandler's people|
The Miscreants: Arjen Van Dierten | Bryan Bash | Clyde Cash | Jack Thaddeus | Jason Kendrick Howell | Joshua Martinez | Liquid Chris | Lordsillynipples | Man in the Pickle Suit | Sarah May | Surfshack Tito | Vivian Gee
|List of males Chris doesn't hate, according to Chris|
VI. The President of the United States:
VIII. ALL male acquaintances and friends, past and present:
|List of males Chris doesn't hate, corrected for accuracy|
|List of males Chris does hate|