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Jay Z

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I've got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one.
 

 

—Jay Z, summing up Chris pretty well.

What Chris thought his lawyer looked like.

James Zylberstien, aka Jay Z, was Chris's lawyer friend from Nintendo. Quit due to stress from project Sonichu Alpha and now works for Microsoft. His major achievement (or fail depending on which way you look at it) was to encourage Chris to change the names of his real-life characters so when the videogame was made they couldn't sue.

While there is certainly some humor in Chris' feeble attempts to rename the characters despite having the creative capabilities of an old sock, many trolls feel that one of the greatest sources of humor was seeing Chris's pathetic attempts to slander real people who he thinks had "wronged" him in the past. While Chris has largely kept changes made to characters' names due to Jay Z's influence, later enemies were still often referred to by their real names. This is most evident in Sonichu 10, where Jack Thaddeus, Evan George, Alec Benson Leary, Sean Wately, and Mao are all referred to by name. As well Jason Kendrick Howell is identified by name, but his sequence was part of an earlier preview where he was already called by name. In all likelihood, even though Chris remembers to call Mary Lee Walsh "Slaweel Ryam" he doesn't remember Jay Z's legal warnings, and is more interested in slandering his opponents than anything else.

Christian Weston Chandler's people

Chris himself: Chloe | Bill Riley | Junior Jenkins | Carlos Chantor | Stephanie Bustcakes | Night Star | TwiSparLicious


Family:

At home: Bob Chandler | Barbara Chandler | Patti Chandler | The Chandler Cats | Clover and Snoopy

Others: Cole Smithey | Aunt Corrina | Minor Family Members | Daniel Weston | Anne Boleyn

Future: Lovely Weather | Crystal Weston Chandler | Reginald Chandler


Friends:

Sweethearts: Blanca Weiss | PandaHalo | Julie | Ivy | Kacey | Jackie | Catherine

Minor sweethearts: Lori Lopez | Hanna | Sarah Jackson | Emily | Vanessa Hudgens | Faeryn | Jessica Quinn

Sweethearts-to-be: Megan Schroeder | The Wallflower | DoopieDoOver

Gal-pals: Sarah Nicole Hammer | Laura Dorazio | Kellie Andes | Tiffany Gowen | Anna McLerran | Kim Wilson | Clare Porter

White knights: Robert Simmons V | Kenneth Erwin Englehardt | William Elliott Waterman

Others: Female fanbase | MLP voice actresses | Pokémon club friends | Rocky Shoemaker | Sam and Ellen | Virginia Jeanine Sanford


Trolls:

The Miscreants: Arjen Van Dierten | Bryan Bash | Clyde Cash | Jack Thaddeus | Jason Kendrick Howell | Joshua Martinez | Liquid Chris | Lordsillynipples | Man in the Pickle Suit | Sarah May | Surfshack Tito | Vivian Gee

The Asperpedia Four: Alec Benson Leary | Evan Christopher George | Mao Ling | Sean August Watley

Famous people: BILLY MAYS | Jay Z | Jimmy Hill | Reggie Fils-Aimé | Shigeru Miyamoto | Takashi Tezuka

Others: Arthur Spatchcock | Jeff/Francine | Johan | LadyOfTheCosmo | Thorg


Other enemies:

PVCC: Kene Meniru | Mary Lee Walsh

Jerkops: Bagget | Jerkhief

Manajerks: B-Manajerk | Kirby | "Lady" Manajerk | Michael Snyder | ScotPalazzo | Turdijerk | W-M-Manajerk | Yellow-Shirted Foe

The GAMe PLACe: Daniel Mimms | Lucas

Jerks: Joseph Herring | Wes Iseli

Others: Abusive babysitter | Adam Stackhouse | Bruce Johnson | Kathleen | Lulu.com executives | Omar Woodley | Pmurt | Rob Bell


Miscellaneous:

Actual people: A-Log | Barack Obama | Caitlin | DStecks | George W. Bush | Mia Hamm | Michael Hirtes | Ryan Cash

Inanimate objects: Kimmi | Naru | Officer Nasty