Jay Z

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I've got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one.
 

 

—Jay Z, summing up Chris pretty well.


Jay Z
Jay-z-400a060107.jpg

What Chris probably thought his lawyer looked like.

Information
Name James Zylberstein
Date of Birth 4 December 1969 (age 50)
Gender Male
Nationality American
Race Black
Occupation Rapper
Lawyer

James Zylberstein, aka Jay Z, was Chris's lawyer friend from Nintendo. Quit due to stress from project Sonichu Alpha and now works for Microsoft. His major achievement (or fail depending on which way you look at it) was to encourage Chris to change the names of his real-life characters so when the video game was made they couldn't sue.

While there is certainly some humor in Chris' feeble attempts to rename the characters despite having the creative capabilities of an old sock, many trolls feel that one of the greatest sources of humor was seeing Chris's pathetic attempts to slander real people who he thinks had "wronged" him in the past. While Chris has largely kept changes made to characters' names due to Jay Z's influence, later enemies were still often referred to by their real names. This is most evident in Sonichu #10, where Jack Thaddeus, Evan George, Alec Benson Leary, Sean Wately and Mao are all referred to by name. As well Jason Kendrick Howell is identified by name, but his sequence was part of an earlier preview where he was already called by name. In all likelihood, even though Chris remembers to call Mary Lee Walsh "Slaweel Ryam" he doesn't remember Jay Z's legal warnings, and is more interested in slandering his opponents than anything else.

Christian Weston Chandler's people

Chris himself:

Bill Riley | Carlos Chantor | Chloe | Junior Jenkins | Night Star | Stephanie Bustcakes | TwiSparLicious


Family:

At home: Bob Chandler | Barbara Chandler | Patti Chandler | The Chandler Cats | Clover and Snoopy

Others: Anne Boleyn | Aunt Corrina | Cole Smithey | Daniel Weston | Minor Family Members

Future: Crystal Weston Chandler | Lovely Weather | Reginald Chandler


Friends:

Sweethearts: Blanca Weiss | Julie | Catherine | Cryzel and Magi-Chan Ivy | Kacey | Jackie | PandaHalo

Minor sweethearts: Emily | Faeryn | Hanna | Jessica Quinn | Lori Lopez | Sarah Jackson | Vanessa Hudgens

Sweethearts-to-be: DoopieDoOver | Megan Schroeder | The Wallflower

Gal-pals: Anna McLerran | Clare Porter | Kellie Andes | Kim Wilson | Laura Dorazio | Sarah Nicole Hammer | Tiffany Gowen

White knights: Jacob Sockness | Kenneth Erwin Englehardt | Robert Simmons V | William Elliott Waterman

Guard Dogs: Null | The Captain | Marvin

Others: DRWolf | Female fanbase | MLP voice actresses | Pokémon club friends | Rocky Shoemaker | Virginia Jeanine Sanford


Trolls:

The Miscreants: Arjen Van Dierten | The Asperpedia Four (Alec Benson Leary, Evan Christopher George, Mao Ling, and Sean August Watley)| Bryan Bash | Clyde Cash | Jack Thaddeus | Jason Kendrick Howell | Joshua Martinez | Liquid Chris | Lordsillynipples | Man in the Pickle Suit | Sarah May | Surfshack Tito | Vivian Gee

Famous people: BILLY MAYS | Jay Z | Jimmy Hill | Reggie Fils-Aimé | Shigeru Miyamoto | Takashi Tezuka

Traitors: Arthur Spatchcock | Bryanfrogboy | CWCProtectSquad | Idea Guys | Jeff/Francine | Multidimensional White Knights | Teen Troon Squad | Sarah and Steve

Others: Johan | LadyOfTheCosmo | Sam and Ellen | Surfshack Tito | Thorg


Other enemies:

PVCC: Kene Meniru | Mary Lee Walsh

Jerkops: Bagget | Jerkhief

Manajerks: B-Manajerk | Kirby | "Lady" Manajerk | Michael Snyder | ScotPalazzo | Turdijerk | W-M-Manajerk | Yellow-Shirted Foe

The GAMe PLACe: Daniel Mimms | Lucas

JERKS: Joseph Herring | Wes Iseli

Others: Abusive babysitter | Bruce Johnson | Kathleen | Lulu.com executives | Pmurt | Sonic Boom producers | Rob Bell


Miscellaneous:

Famous people: Pmurt | Barack Obama | George W. Bush | John Tesh | PewDiePie | Red Skelton | R.L. Stine

Orbiters: A-Log | DStecks | Michael Hirtes | MKRNightVee

Others: Adam Stackhouse | Caitlin | Mia Hamm | Ryan Cash

Inanimate objects/Fictional Characters: Kimmi | Meg Griffin | Naru | Officer Nasty