Surfshack Tito (troll)

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Goddamn womanizing, raping... trollin' stupid pickle-suited... nigger!
Chris on Tito[1]
Surfshack Tito
Name Don
Gender Male
Nationality American
Race Black Hawaiian
Occupation Internet troll

Surfshack Tito (also known as Don) is a mysterious troll who first emerged in early March 2010. His arrival was reminiscent of the rise of Jack Thaddeus in the summer of 2009. Like Jack, he first made his mark by hacking Chris's PlayStation Network accounts.

The nickname "Surfshack Tito" is a reference to the corpulent surf-shop owner from the Nickelodeon kids' cartoon Rocket Power. During the exchanges with Chris, most of them from Tito are ended with a Tito-styled word of wisdom. The choice to go with the name is most likely inspired by an infamous copypasta about Tito.

Based on Chris's insults towards Tito in the e-mails and videos, it was assumed that Chris believes that the actual Tito from Rocket Power is trolling him. However, the truth is that the image attached to an e-mail shows a photoshopped image of the Wallflower standing next to a really tall dark guy. The photo is left out of this article due to an agreement with the Wallflower.

Tito in Chris's videos

It's easy to see what the Wallflower fell for, isn't it?

Chris first addressed Tito in a video released on 2 March 2010. His comments were brief and cryptic. Chris merely referred to Tito by name, threatened him with doom in his nightmares, and delivered a Curse Shot attack.

Shortly afterward, Clyde Cash explained that Tito had hacked Chris's PSN account a few days prior, in late February. This revelation was accompanied by another info-dump concerning Chris's ongoing downloadable content spending spree.

A week later, trolls discovered the identity of the Wallflower, throwing Chris into a flailing rage. Initially, Chris seemed to blame Clyde for the breakup of his latest one-sided relationship, but on 14 March 2010, he released a video suggesting that he viewed Tito as the culprit. In that clip, he declares: "Tito. Listen to me, you son of a bitch. Your-your days are numbered." Threats involving a shillelagh and Chris's deadly pocket knife followed.

Tito apparently kept up the pressure on Chris through the next few days of March 2010. On 18 March, Chris released yet another threatening video, in which he accused Tito of stealing the Wallflower from him, called him a "womanizing rapist" and a "pickle-suited nigger", and alluded to e-mails he had received from Tito (their contents unspecified, but Chris definitely didn't like them).

However, since the end of the Wallflower saga, Surfshack Tito has slipped from Chris's consciousness and has not made any further appearances in Chris's videos. He is, however, an important figure behind the August 2010 videotaped encounter of Chris at Fashion Square Mall.

Tito in real life, enjoying a ukulele after another successful trolling plan.

In August 2011 Chris returned after a hiatus from YouTube to announce that he had received documents which revealed Tito's real identity. Referring to him as Don, Chris demanded a public apology from Tito for hacking the PSN and $1,000, among other things.

E-mails with Chris

Main article: Surfshack Tito E-mails

During mid-March 2010, Tito exchanged several e-mails with Chris, baiting him with regard to the revelation of the Wallflower's identity and other subjects. Their conversations reveal that Chris was aware of his gal-pal's interest in gay slash fiction, and was apparently willing to look past it (the quest for china trumping all other considerations). The e-mails also feature Chris employing the word "nigger" with great enthusiasm. Note that Surfshack Tito is actually Hawaiian, not a niggo.

Between late August and early September 2010, Tito resurfaced in Chris's failed plot to scam him and Clyde Cash. Their e-mails reveal Chris's intentions behind destroying his PS3 and waiting at the mall; he sought a bounty of $9,001 towards his PS3's destruction and very poorly attempted to cheat Tito and Clyde out of the money.


See also

Trolls of the Patriots

The Miscreants: Arjen Van Dierten | Bryan Bash | Clyde Cash | Jack Thaddeus | Jason Kendrick Howell | Joshua Martinez | Liquid Chris | Lordsillynipples | Man in the Pickle Suit | Sarah May | Vivian Gee

The Asperpedia Four: Alec Benson Leary | Evan Christopher George | Mao Ling | Sean August Watley

Famous people: BILLY MAYS | Jay Z | Jimmy Hill | Reggie Fils-Aimé | Shigeru Miyamoto | Takashi Tezuka

Traitors: Arthur Spatchcock | Bryanfrogboy | CWCProtectSquad | Idea Guys | Jacob Sockness | Jeff/Francine | MKRNightVee | Sarah and Steve | Teen Troon Squad

Others: Ben Saint | Johan | LadyOfTheCosmo | Surfshack Tito | Thorg

See Also: Chris and manipulation


Pre-Christory: PVCC | Megan | Adam

Classic Chris: Encyclopedia Dramatica | Blanca | The GAMe PLACe | Jimmy Hill | Clyde Cash | PandaHalo | Miyamoto | Julie | Ivy | Vanessa | CWCipedia | Liquid Chris | Asperchu | Tito

Dark Ages: Jackie | Calling Out

Renaissance: Catherine | Sonic Boom | Lady Managers | Pmurt | Doopie | Quinn

Transcendental Awakening: Idea Guys | Teen Troon Squad | Jacob | Escapist

Exiles: First Exile | Second Exile | Soft Exile

Meta: Love Quest | Transgender | Business | Financhu Crisis | Dimensional Merge

Christian Weston Chandler's people

Chris himself:

Bill Riley | Carlos Chantor | Chloe | Junior Jenkins | Night Star | Stephanie Bustcakes | TwiSparLicious


At home: Bob Chandler | Barbara Chandler | Patti Chandler | The Chandler Cats | Clover and Snoopy

Others: Anne Boleyn | Aunt Corrina | Cole Smithey | Daniel Weston | Minor Family Members

Future: Crystal Weston Chandler | Lovely Weather | Reginald Chandler


Sweethearts: Blanca Weiss | Julie | Catherine | Cryzel and Magi-Chan Ivy | Kacey | Jackie | PandaHalo

Minor sweethearts: Emily | Faeryn | Hanna | Jessica Quinn | Lori Lopez | Sarah Jackson | Vanessa Hudgens

Sweethearts-to-be: DoopieDoOver | Megan Schroeder | The Wallflower

Gal-pals: Anna McLerran | Clare Porter | Kellie Andes | Kim Wilson | Laura Dorazio | Sarah Nicole Hammer | Tiffany Gowen

Guard Dogs: Null | The Captain | Marvin

Others: Copitz | DRWolf | Female fanbase | Joey Vance | Leftovermedia | MLP voice actresses | Pokémon League friends | ProjectSNT | Rocky Shoemaker | Virginia Jeanine Sanford | Xleepy

The Unholy Tetrad:

White knights: Kenneth Erwin Englehardt | Robert Simmons V | William Elliott Waterman

A-logs: A-Log

Enablers: Ben Saint | Bryanfrogboy | CWCProtectSquad | Idea Guys | Jacob Sockness | Teen Troon Squad | Other Enablers

Weens: Michael Hirtes


The Miscreants: Arjen Van Dierten | The Asperpedia Four (Alec Benson Leary, Evan Christopher George, Mao Ling, and Sean August Watley)| Bryan Bash | Clyde Cash | Jack Thaddeus | Jason Kendrick Howell | Joshua Martinez | Liquid Chris | Lordsillynipples | Man in the Pickle Suit | Sarah May | Surfshack Tito | Vivian Gee

Famous people: BILLY MAYS | Jay Z | Jimmy Hill | Reggie Fils-Aimé | Shigeru Miyamoto | Takashi Tezuka

Others: Arthur Spatchcock | Jeff Ouzuo | Johan | LadyOfTheCosmo | Sam and Ellen | Surfshack Tito | Thorg

Other enemies:

PVCC: Kene Meniru | Mary Lee Walsh

Jerkops: Bagget | Jerkhief

Manajerks: B-Manajerk | Kirby | "Lady" Manajerk | Michael Snyder | ScotPalazzo | Turdijerk | W-M-Manajerk | Yellow-Shirted Foe

The GAMe PLACe: Daniel Mimms | Lucas

JERKS: Joseph Herring | Wes Iseli

Others: Abusive babysitter | Bruce Johnson | Kathleen | executives | Pmurt | Rob Bell | Sonic Boom producers


Famous people: Pmurt | Barack Obama | George W. Bush | John Tesh | PewDiePie | Red Skelton | R.L. Stine

Others: Adam Stackhouse | Caitlin | DStecks | Mia Hamm | Ryan Cash

Inanimate objects/Fictional Characters: Cryzel | Kimmi | Meg Griffin | Naru | Officer Nasty