Christopher Paul Whitney reveal

From CWCki
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Christopher Paul Whitney reveal is a video leaked to YouTube by CWCki user Dinglebear on 30 August 2011. Part of the Calling Out series, Chris deflates the big fat balloon of Alec Benson Leary a day ahead of schedule, then proceeds to spend the remainder of the video mocking him by beatboxing, eating a cheap microwave pizza (something significantly less healthier than even 'a whole block a cheese'), and calling Alec fat whilst assuring everyone he's thin, an inverse of when he justified his own obesity as proof he was the real Chris as opposed to Liquid Chris the year previously. Infamously, the "rev-yellation" turned out to be fake, as Alec's "dox" turned out to be the dox of cult food eater Fatman (and even then, most of the identifying details were inaccurate).

This was the final video Chris made before his father Bob died on 6 September 2011.

Christopher Paul Whitney reveal
Direct link Youtube, archive
Stardate 30 August 2011
Subject Matter TrollsTrolls Trolls, OtherUnknownIcon.png Food
Performance Style SmugSmug Smug, CrazyCrazy Crazy
Saga Calling OutCalling Out Calling Out, AsperchuAsperchu Asperchu
Shirt Red with Black TrimRedblacktrim.png The Happy Jack
Response to ADF
SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD

His interest include: hot tubbing, video games, retirement, Etsbots, folk music, theft and fraud.



'Tis another fine day...for REVEALING! 'Cuz I have not heard 'nything from [applies pedo-glasses] Alec Benson Leary, also known as Christopher, annnnnd the due date has been reached! It is time for total...rev-yellation! [Chris spins the camera to show Alec's profile on the TV]

Alec Benson Leary. His real name is Christopher Paul "Fatman" Whit-neeyyy! From Antonio Tetsas--San Antonio, Tetsas. Age: 36. Unemployed and on welfare! His interest include: hot tubbing, video games, retirement, Etsbots, folk music, theft and frauuud, milk, comics, and dip. Aannnnd [operatic] eating onliiiiine!

He's responsible for Asperchu, Asperpedia, and all mockings and slanders associated, and copyright infringement, upon my own characters of Sonichu and--and Asperchu somewhere else. He also has ties wit da Game Place, do-nay-shins and and what not.

Yeah. He's that famous, hot-tubbin' fat man on youtube, makin' mud...and, guess what, eating online! And recently, he ate a whole block a cheese! [operatic] A WHOLE BLOCK OF CHEEEEEESE!!!!

[MC CWC breaks it down]
Ah-ah, ah-ah, oh yeah!
Ah-ah, Aussie-Dossie!
Ah-ah, Aussie-Dossie!
Ah-ah, Aussie-Dossie!
Oh yeah, Aussie-Dossie!
Ah-ah, Aussie-Dossie!
Oh, yeah!

And now for the salt on the wound! I will be eating online! For the once-time, this time! To be enjoyed! Ha-haa! We have here a cheese-stuffed microwaveable pepperoni pizza! And [brandishes can of Nestea] un can of teeeea! Let the fiest begin!

[Chris devours the pizza, munching on it for a minute before holding up the remains to the camera, enjoying the hell out of that pizza] Cheesy goodness, within the crust! [Chris eats the rest, cleans his hands with a paper towel, and drinks his Nestea] Mmm, that was good!

[MC CWC brings the remix]
Oh yeah, Aussie-Dossie!
Oh yeah, Aussie-Dossie!
Oh yeah, but a big difference!
He's fat! Iiiiii'm THIN.

And believe it or not, he's even fatter than Surfshack Tito! Of which, he has met the deadline, with his apology video, and left the internet for good, so nothing else will be revealed about him! So live in peace, Master Tito! But, Christopher Paul, your big fat balloon has been deflated! [Chris mimes a balloon being popped] Stay tuned.

Fatman's Response

It was later proved that Fatman was not Alec, and that he was telling the truth about his true identity (Christopher Paul Whitney). Much like Chris, Fatman also has an internet cult following, as he has made hundreds of videos in which he eats vast quantities of food on camera, argues with his parents, finds the light of god and in several occasions vomits on himself while taking a bath (seriously, it's fucking nasty).

CWC is a dumb ass
Search for video Youtube, archive
Stardate 14 January 2012
Saga Calling OutCalling Out Calling Out, AsperchuAsperchu Asperchu

In addition to "CWC is a dumb ass", Alec also posted a video to Ustream (now IBM Cloud Video) of him eating a stick of butter in which he called out Chris. This video has seemingly been lost to time.


[pause] Hiiiii, folks! Fatman here again, and I just wanna say...that Christian Weston Chandler or "CWP" or "C" or whatever his dumbass name is, is a dumbass, folks. And he's a dumbass 'cause he thinks I stole some Sonichu shitty characters or he thinks I'm Alec Benson Leary but I ain't no Alec Benson Leary, my name's Christopher Paul Whitney, folks. And I live in Rutland, Vermont, not San Antonio, Texas. This guy is such a fuckin' dumbass, folks, oky-day? And um, and uh he's a dumbass and uh, I did not steal his "Sonichu" and I am not Alec Benson Leary, I am Christopher Paul Whitney. So in conclusion: Christian Weston Chandler is a dumbass. And he should stop being a fucking idiot. Until next time, aussie dossie. Bye now.

Response to ADF Chris's videos SPARKLE like you mean it: ROBEE'S BALLAD