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Obesity

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The Atkins Diet apparently didn't work on Barb.
 
 
One more thing, I AM NOT OVERWEIGHT!!!!!!!!!
 

 

—Chris, lying to White Knight

 
 
I do not feel good hearing remarks or comments that have relation to my gut.
 

 

—Chris to Jackie[1]

Obesity is perceived to be a worldwide epidemic, especially in the USA, with about 65% of adults overweight and 26% obese. This is especially apparent in the Chandler home, in which 100% of its residents are fat: Chris, Barbara, and even their pets.

Chris seems to be in denial about his own obesity. His denial is evidenced by the fact that he portrays himself as a slim, barrel-chested hero in his comics and in Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE, when he describes himself as "fit as a fiddle." Furthermore, in his numerous dating profiles discovered by the trolls, he often lists himself as having an "athletic build" or at the very least having weight that is proportionate to his height.

Another example of this was when he created a character for his comics named Sammy, whom Chris stated is based off him when he "temporary[sic] gained weight, became stupid, and went to watch television at ghost command," even though he has always been this way. Except, y'know, for the Ghost Command part. But that's a whole other problem.

Further cementing his obesity, on October 2nd, 2011, Chris's voluptuous manboobs won an award on manboobs.co.uk.

Exercise

Exercise

Chris believes that standing up without moving is a legitimate form of exercise, and as such considers playing Guitar Hero a workout. During one of his PSN chats with Julie, when asked to exercise more, he replied, "I'll stand up more". It is not known how Chris came to believe that standing up is exercise, but it is most likely that Chris is simply extremely lazy and will lie to say that he works out every day, even though he just plays video games. It's possible he's picked it up from health tips that say standing burns more calories than sitting down,[2][3] but rather than use such tips to get the most out of an already busy lifestyle, he substitutes it for actual exercise altogether. It's also entirely possible he's in such terrible shape that the simple act of standing tires him as much as an actual workout would tire a normal human being.

Emily has said Chris power-walks around his neighborhood for thirty minutes and claims it's two miles (3 km), then claims to jog for two or three minutes every walk. She then went on to say Chris doesn't know how to jog — his idea of jogging is actually sprinting. It's safe to say he tries to run at "Sonic speed" for ten seconds, then resumes his leisurely waddle. This theory is confirmed in Sonichu's Edge.

In Mailbag 21, Chris claimed that he planned on investing in a gym membership. Judging by photographs and videos featuring his midsection from subsequent months, he either lied or wasted his money.

Diet

After becoming a tomgirl, Chris wanted to use Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis to magically transform his fat gut and ass into a woman's hourglass figure.

Another contribution to Chris' obesity is the food he eats. Chris' diet is appalling, consisting mainly of fast food and other unhealthy foodstuffs. While it would be acceptable if he treated himself to that stuff occasionally, there's no question that it's a staple of his diet. The sheer amount of calories he consumes, coupled with his laziness, means that he's carrying around enough extra mass to make another person. His diet will most likely also cause problems other than obesity, and may be the cause of his fecal leakage.

In 2017, Chris decided that his ass wasn't fat enough, and began listening to a subliminal hypnosis track in the hopes of transferring his belly fat to his ass, as an attempt to obtain an hourglass figure.

Actual weight claims

Chris's weight in June 2015.

Modern measurement of whether someone is overweight/obese generally employs the BMI system, which creates an index based on the height and weight of an individual. This system is by no means perfect; the readings tend to be inaccurately high for people whose height is abnormally tall, and/or whose bodies are heavily set, because these people have more bone weight than others. However, it is a very accurate system when applied to people of average height and bone structure - which Chris is.

One of the two factors required to calculate BMI is height. Chris claims to be 5'10" (1.78 m),[4] which is possible, but even at this height, his BMI would never have been under the "overweight" bracket since he began to record it. Given how readily Chris lies to serve himself, he may be shorter, which would render his BMI in the "obese" range. In a police scanner report, he was described as being 5'9" (1.75 m). For the sake of simplicity, the BMI data listed below is based on his self-reported height.

  • 20 July 2005 - In a Diary entry, Chris reported that his weight was 180 pounds (about 80 kg) [5] meaning that during that time his BMI was 25.8, which is overweight.
  • Fall 2009 - Chris told Kacey that his weight was somewhere between 215 and 220 pounds (98-100 kg) [6], meaning his BMI was between 30.8 and 31.6, nudging him into the obese range.
  • Fall 2009 - In a later conversation with Kacey, Chris said that at a recent doctor's visit he had weighed in at 205 pounds (93 kg), down from 216 the last time he had been there.[7]
  • February 2010 - Chris claimed to weigh "about 200 [pounds]" (91 kg), and also admitted to having once weighed more than 220 pounds (100 kg). Even if we interpret the words "about 200" to mean 190, his BMI at the time would still be 27.3 i.e overweight, nearing obesity. He also claimed at this time that his goal was to get down to 180 pounds (82 kg).[8]
  • October 2010 - In the WeighIn video, Chris claimed to weigh 216 pounds (97 kg). This seems very unrealistic, given his apparent girth and food consumption. Most experts believe that Chris either offset his scale by 40 or 50 pounds, or that he did not fully stand on the scale in order to fool people into believing he's not extremely fat. It is also possible that Chris's years of inactivity had caused his muscles to deteriorate to the point that he looked like he weighed more than 250 pounds, when actually he was just 216 pounds of pure fat. Even if we assume that he indeed weighed only 216 lbs at the time, this would still put his BMI at 31, making him obese.
  • April 2012 - Chris announced on Facebook that he was "going down to 223 [101 kg] and falling."[9]
  • July 2013 - Chris again posted to Facebook that he was "down to 220" (~100 kg).[10]
  • October 2013 - Just three months later, Chris told Facebook that according to his doctor's visit he weighed 211 pounds (96 kg), and had lost seven pounds since last he checked.[11]
  • January 2014 - Chris asserted on Facebook that he weighed "about 202 pounds" (91 kg). While many would be quick to dismiss this solely on the basis that he eats at McDonald's regularly, at least one report shows that it can't be the sole factor, due to one individual actually losing weight on a pure McDonald's diet. However, given the sheer deluge of fast/processed food Chris eats from other places, the non-existence of an exercise regimen, and the simple fact that his face is a lot fatter compared to previous photographs of him, this claim that he weighs 202 pounds is very dubious.[12]
  • October 2014 - Chris defensively told his friend Shaina that he weighed "around 200 [91 kg], give or take two or three."[13]

Health

Main article: Chris and health

Obviously, all this has an adverse effect on Chris' health. Morbidly obese people are far more likely to develop diabetes, heart disease, and a number of other ailments. While it is admittedly possible to be fat and fit, Chris' lifestyle, combined with ample evidence of his lack of physical prowess, means that this does not apply to him.

Denial

 
 
He's fat! Iiiiii'm thin!
 

 

—Chris breaking out into chorus on Alec Benson Leary[14]

Horizontal stripes are very slimming!

Chris has generally been in denial about his weight. A white knight once told him that he needed to lose some weight if he ever wanted to get a girlfriend. Chris responded by freaking out and exclaiming that he wasn't overweight.[15] In IRC, Chris has been known to become very defensive about his weight, always making claims that he works out, when in fact he just stands up while playing Guitar Hero. Chris's reaction to being called fat is precisely the same as his reaction to being called gay. Unfortunately for Chris, there isn't a poster that will help him lose weight. He simply screams that he isn't fat, then oftentimes lies, and calls the person accusing him fat. He exhibited this behavior during an email with Evan,[16] during his phone call with Kacey's father, and especially in his conversation with Kacey and Liquid Chris, where insults about his weight triggered a screaming rage.

However, during his original rivalry with Liquid Chris, Chris once finally admitted he was perhaps maybe just a little bit fat, but only because he could use this as proof that he was the real Christian Weston Chandler. A similar problem arose during the Asperchu saga, where Chris, in an attempt to prove that Asperchu was a parody of himself, was forced to admit that Asperchu's "Buddha belly" and "man boobs" are similar to his own. More specifically, he acts as though he used to have a sagging gut, even though he has, in fact, porked up significantly since high school. He chose to focus on this aspect of Asperchu rather than admit his more embarrassing failures the series parodies. He did once admit in a phone call with Jack Thaddeus that he was not fit.

There is also convincing evidence that Chris has difficulty recognizing the human figure — faces in particular. His consistent representation of himself as slender and athletic may be attributable to his having formed his self-image during high school, when he would spend hours studying his then-scrawnier self in the mirror, memorizing his looks. However, this is unlikely as Chris has never "spent hours studying" anything.[17]

On July 9, 2017 Chris passed a kidney stone. According to the Mayo Clinic [18]some causes of kidney stones include dehydration, certain diets That are rich in protein, sodium, and sugar, and being obese, which makes sense, seeing as Chris is fat, eats a lot of fast food which is rich in sodium and sugar, and he commonly drinks soda over water, which unlike water, doesn't do good for hydration.

See also

Sources

  1. Jackie Chat 6
  2. http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/8-ways-to-burn-calories-without-noticing/article16261.html Reader's Digest. See tip #3
  3. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/office-exercise/SM00115 Mayo Clinic. See tip #2
  4. The Hook Cafe#Characteristics
  5. CWC's Diary#2005
  6. Kacey Call 12
  7. Kacey Call 19
  8. Mailbag 54#Fatty
  9. April 2012 Facebook posts
  10. July 2013 Facebook Posts
  11. October 2013 Facebook Posts
  12. January 2014 Facebook Posts
  13. Open Relationship E-mails
  14. Christopher Paul Whitney reveal
  15. White knight E-mails#September 2008 .E2.80.94 Chris denies being fat and sexist
  16. 1st email to Evan
  17. Sonichu #7 - "…I had to train my brain to visually remember what I looked like…"
  18. http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/kidney-stones/symptoms-causes/dxc-20319562