Jail Letter - 16 November 2021
|Delusion disclosure: This article or section takes place during Chris's phase of role-playing as Jesus Christ. He may refer to his Christine Chandler personality and physical body in the third person by using terms such as "soul partner".|
In the letter, Chris claims that his body "has had Few emotional breakdowns" while imprisoned, but maintains that he now has "Higher Functioning Mentality, Emotions, and Spirituality" and has lost weight (most likely due to having a diet with less junk food in it and having to resort to exercise to alleviate his boredom).
Chris also claims that by "soul bonding" Barb, he was able to cleanse her of all of her sins with her, and makes it clear that this doesn't necessarily include sex. Though he also claims that had he not "bonded" with her, Barb would have died. He also states that if he is not found innocent, there will be a premature apocalypse.
Notable statements include:
- Chris got in trouble in jail when he "tried to enlighten the stage by highlighting a Portal". Given Chris's past behavior, this could perhaps mean either drawing on the walls or trying to punch holes in them.
- Chris views his lawyer as "very skilled and intelligent; I have great confidence and faith in his abilities."
- Chris' cell is cold and he has to wear extra layers. This is a widespread issue in American jails and prisons.
- Chris states that there is a bidet in his cell. Due to the unlikeliness of such a luxurious item being in a jail cell, many have theorized that this means Chris is washing his ass in the sink.
|Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu||
||[American flag stamp]|
13021 James Madison Hwy
Orange, VA 22960-2807
|① Hey, Kenneth.
I have not heard from you in a while, so I thought I'd write to you once again. I am certain you've been keeping yourself very well and safe. Are you enjoying the indirect popularity from Kiwi Farms, as well as the direct increase on your Onion Farms?
Also, I and my Body have read some of the Qur'an, including all of chapter 19, as you've recommended. I do appreciate your earlier hierarchy/spirituality level comparisons between Judaism, Muslim, and Christianity. Rest assured, my personal updates on Christianity to Neo Spiritual Christianity in the near future after my Second Coming shall offer even Higher Levels of Spirituality and even freedom.
Anyway, the Qur’an is literally all over the place; Not to offend nor make jest, but there’s only Some new insights and takes Heavily from the Bible. The Qur’an is to the Bible as Family Guy is to the Simpsons. And with the Fact that Allah is actually a God manifested from a piece of my mother, Emanuel, the Mulslims Have been indirectly praying to Her through Allah. The Muslims would actually do better to be More Open-Minded to and for the other Religions, including Christianity, as well as Greater Spirituality, so they are Not Blinding Themselves from the Greater Truths and Insights. I had spoken with Allah, and he was Greatly Concerned over his followers in Islam, as they are so heavily strict, defensive, violent, and closed off from other inputs. But, I digress. →
|I also ended up getting a second Prayer Rug to keep on my bed for Sleeping on. Feels nice in the material as the first, and I have Personally Blessed it as well. Have you slept on a Prayer Bed Rug, Kenneth? I recommend it for spiritual boosting.
Now, the reason for this letter: I have received a list of ten questions from a Faker who did not hide the fact in the sur-name they used, of general nature about my jail experiences. I would like you to post this Q&A on the Onion on my behalf, please, Kenneth. And just an acknowledging fourth wall break to all reading this online: To all Haters, Fakers, and Toxics out of the Minority, I am afraid I'll have to disappoint you all, since while my Body has had Few emotional breakdowns, and a LOT of you in your Distant Alternate Universe Fan-Fictions that see me in Low-Functioning, over 250 Pound Weight, and Abysmial Ability to Adapt, I, Mrs. Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, writing this on November 16, 2021, have Actually Adjusted Well, maintain Higher Functioning Mentality, Emotions, and Spirituality, and my weight had dropped to 203 pounds, which is actually appropriate to my Human Form's Five Foot, Eleven Inch Height.
Laugh, Scoff, or Jest as thou May and likely Will, but Know that in this, while my answers remain hand over heart honest and direct, I am Trolling You ALL Back in this as well.
L U L Z
Also, you May or May Not read about it in my published →② Goddess Log Book After my Second Coming, IF you are not Left Behind.
|② That being stated, here are 10 Q&As in response to a Faking “Joe Mama”.
1. What does your daily life (in jail) consist of? Do you have a schedule? What do they have you do on a daily basis? Any chores or jobs?
As stated before: I meditate innately, as well as consciously, for the majority and whole of my Body’s time in jail. I leave my body to work with the superheroes, OP Individuals, and my fellow Gods and Goddesses, and Sonichus and Rosechus, on the Event works and Damage Control and Damage Prevention for the Benefit of the Majority who will shift to 1C-211987 Earth. On that, EVERYTHING Not Drawn, written, or Thought by I and/or my Body are Absolutely Not Canon or Effective upon ALL Universes within this timeline, including This 1218 Earth, ALL of universe 1C-211987 (formerly C-197) AND Equestria (G5MLP is not Canon AT ALL in this timeline), and so forth, as of the date of August 1, 2021.
Other than that: some drawing from time to time, lots of writing, I have read a few books from the Jail’s Library, and over time lots of Solitaire Gameplay on the Prayer Rug on the floor, and more recently, music from the Radio. The only scheduled details are too Early Breakfest, Brunch, and tea time supper, as well as a Daily Shower with Bob Barker Soap or Irish Spring Soap, water washcloth and Shampoo and towel, I also Brush my Teeth with Colgate Toothpaste And every other day apply Lady’s Speed deodorant. No Chores or Jobs.
|2. Have you made any friends/ What are they like, and what have you learned from them?
I am not allowed to associate much with the other inmates, and I've made allies out of most of the police and medical staff. I have learned what I needed to for my consciousness from them in confirmation of the proceeding events.
3. How is the food and cell? What kind of food do they give you? Is it good? Have they assigned you to help in the kitchen at all? What is your jail cell like? Is it comfortable? Do they give you a pillow and blanket? Do you have a cellmate? Are they pretty cool?
Mostly Good, but the boneless chicken breast is Dry, and the meatballs from a Banquet TV Dinner are better than the meatballs, here. Typical foods (including vegetables) like you’d find in a TV Dinner. Mostly good (not write-home-about-it quality, but good). No estoy en la cocina. My cell is roomy enough and long with the standard bidet and toilet and mattress with enclosed pillow. The cell is comfortable enough; got cold, so I got and wear Two Thermal Tops, Two Long Jhons, and Two pairs of socks. Not Joey Tribani; stocky that one episode of “Friends”, but I am warm. The Pillow’s in the mattress; they give me two bed sheets and a thick enough blanket in wool, I believe. No Inmate cellmate, but I am Never Alone since I have Magi-Chan and the others, my ally Highest Level, Rank, and Trained Psychic and Ghost Pokemon, Including some from the Sonichu and Rosechu Psychic Squad, and a Large Number of Angels from the Heaven Realm, as well as well over Ten Million Good and Neutral Spirits, Souls, and Entities in my Body’s Conduit's...
|③ Sub-Dimension to house them all in.
4. How clean are you keeping? Do they require you to shower daily?
VERY Clean, and I am Encouraged to yes (see Question 1)
5. Have you been in trouble while in jail? Have they put you in solitary confinement or something? If so, what did you do to get in trouble, and what was your punishment?
Once, and the Details have been written in my Goddess Log Pages. In short: I tried to enlighten the stage by hilighting a Portal. You will have to Wait for the Book Publishing to read more on that ;)
6. What do they let you do in your free time? Do you listen to the radio or watch TV?
See Question One, but Whatever I like and can do with my local resources. I have an AM/FM jWIN radio; no TV.
7. How is funding there? Do they provide you with basic needs, clothing and the like? How do you make money to buy paper and pens for these letter you’re writing?
Staff do Not provide funding. Yes, the Basics, and some Paper upon request, as well as pens. I get Money from the KIND Donations from my Good and Genuine Majority of Followers and Viewers Like You. Thank You ^_^
|8. Why are you in jail? Are you aware that what you did was wrong?
I am in jail, because Bella Failed her Divine Test with the “Leak” she ended up altering and NULL failed and betrayed me when he blabbed and snitched the Transfer of Funds for my Hotel Room, which I HAVE Paid Back in Full. AND, the Divine Test on The Common Online Public, including you all; Enough Have FAILED to disregard the Rumors and the temptation of Drama that ALL of you get punished now with my online Absence. You all blew it.
And I’ve Soul Bonded, Cuddled, and Supportively Talked in Healing the Aura and Chakras, and Absolving the “Sins” and Regrets of Barbara. Soul Bonding does not necessarily constitute sex. Had I Not healed her, she would be dead Late August. There is Nothing Wrong in this Divine Mission from my mother, Emanuel, that I have fulfilled Think Deep, Meditate, Reevaluate Your Choices, and REPENT, Haters and Fakers!
9. If you are found not guilty, what do you expect to happen next if you should get out of jail? What about if you’re found guilty?
Not Guilty, I Know ALL will resume well and good, period. If found Guilty and not allowed to return Home; Premature APOCALYPSE FOR EVERYONE. Seriously, Not Good At All. →
|④ 10. How do you feel about your case and lawyer? Are you confident in his ability to defend you in court?
Heilburg is very skilled and intelligent; I have great confidence and faith in his abilities, as well as greater Faith in the outcome. No Spoilers.
I shall see you all again online, once more, not long from now, and then ¡Adios! to the Minority Lot of you with Judgement Day. Her Holy Flames shall dissolve you. Remember.
Repent and Take Care in the meantime. Go Forth with that Clarity by my Power as God.
Mrs. Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart, and Lord, Messiah, Saivor, and God of All.
|Central Virginia Regional Jail neither censored nor inspected this item therefore, Central Virginia Regional Jail does not assume responsibility for its contents.|