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"Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!

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"Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!! is a video released on 14 March 2010, in which Chris pleads to a gal-pal going by the pen name of Damian Antaria to not get a new boyfriend and take him instead, because his life is unhappy. After poorly singing a shortened version of his song "Boyfriend", he then asks Damian to "give him a break", and talks about his miserable life, and how without a girlfriend, he would need to go back to his plan to pay $100 for a hooker.

Uncharacteristically, Chris recorded and uploaded this video in the mid-afternoon. Thanks to his peculiar day-night cycle, he usually delivers his YouTube rants late at night or in the very early morning. The "boyfriend" Chris mentions eventually turned out to be an attempt by the Wallflower to get Chris off her back.

Video

"Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!
Stardate 14 March 2010
Subject Matter GalpalsGalpals Gal Pals, SexSex Sex, MusicMusic Music
Performance Style TragedyTragedy Tragedy, CrazyCrazy Crazy
Shirt Danger StripeDangerstripeshirt.PNG Danger Stripe, Pokémon LeaguePokémon League Pokémon League
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You aren't even ready for a boyfriend! You told me so yourself, multiple times!
 

 

Transcript

[Chris opens the video with a heavy sigh and removes his glasses. His expression is troubled and grim.]

This message goes out to Damian Antaria, her pen name. Not revealing her real name, all things considered. You know something? You don't, you don't need that new boyfriend, because... I need you. We were very compatible, we had so much in common! I don't see why you had to go and do that I mean, you aren't even ready for a boyfriend! You told me so yourself, multiple times! I respected that for a little while. [sigh] But, you know what? This puts to mind a little something...

[He bends down to pick something up off the floor, a remote control, and queues up the old CWC "Boyfriend" video on his TV.]

...I have put together before.

[He begins singing.]

Hey hey, you you
I don't like your boyfriend
No way, no way
I think you need a new one

Hey hey, you you
I could be your boyfriend
da na da, da na da
da da da, da da da

[He begins waving his hands around spastically, which continues through his performance.]

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger
'Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better
There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in?
He's so trollin' stupid, what the hell were you thinkin'?

That old sumbah try to take you out of my life
But you know I could do it better
He's an impostor, he's a poser
What the hells were you thinkin' with that damn pickle suit?

[The singing mercifully ends.]

C'mon. Damian. Damian Antaria. Give me a break! You know my, I don't want to be back in a situation where I'm, that desperate I got...

[He holds up the claw.]

Go as far as to pay a hundred dollars for a damn hooker. Give me a breaaak!! I'm a 28-year-old high-functioning autistic virgin! I'm in a hell of my own! [sigh] C'mon, please? Pleeeeaaaase? I've been so very worried about you, I've had heartaches since last Wednesday. I've had sleepless nights! It really hurts!

[He clutches at his chest.]

Heartaches hurt. Think about that.

[He turns off the camera.]

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