|YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK!
The contents of this page have been bought with taxpayer money!
|“||my biggest regret.||”|
|Chris, on Cakefarts|
Cakefarts (leaked as fyfdriryjehvsdthyjvdj.mp4 [SaveYouTube.com]) is a video made on 18 July 2011 and leaked on 25 February 2012 in which Chris sits his naked ass on a $9 chocolate cake for Jackie's amusement. While it can not be seen on the censored version, there is already a piece (a little less than a fourth) of the cake taken out, meaning that either Chris (or Barb) had eaten some of this cake before its untimely end. It was inspired by the Cakefarts shock site, and this video implies that he's turned on by it.
Because both links to the video are dead, this is one of Chris's rarest videos. TheCWCvilleLibrary uploaded the video without visuals (for obvious reasons), and the NSFW version can now only be found on the website Motherless. And it's for a good reason, as it is now considered to be quite possibly one of the grossest things that Chris has ever produced, and definitely one of his most wasteful (given that he spent his monthly tugboat just to fart on chocolate cake).
The "ass dance" is a reference to the Adult Swim anime Crayon Shin-Chan, which involves the titular character pulling down his pants, showing his ass, and dancing around.
This happened to me less than a decade ago. I was being Trolled and CyberBullied, and during the time I was Online Dating (among which nearly ALL of my Online Dates were Immature, MALE, Internet Trolls pretending to be women). This Theoretical EX of mine requested that I record and perform, this thing called "Cake Farts", and say that it was "what I love the most". Ugh. So, I go to my local Wal-Mart, find and buy this lovely chocolate cake for $11; it also had chocolate candies on top of it. I take the cake home, I eat the candies, and I enjoyed a slice of the cake for myself. THEN, I hit record and sat bare-assed on the remaining 80% of the cake, on a plastic surface, and made fake fart noises with my mouth. Suffice to say the cake was now a smooshed mess, while I had the crumbs and whatnot on my behind. After cleaning the surface, and my behind, I took the smooshed up cake and disposed of it behind some bushes in my back yard. AND, obviously, I later learned that the "woman" who requested this deed was a Male Troll. That Cake Cost Me $11!!! UGH! What a majorly royal waste.
Illustrate Danger Dolan doing this, please.
Also, do one episode of "Burning Questions" where Dolan has Lost his hat, can't find until after the last question, and even has Melissa read for one of the questions, "MonkiesInTheZ00 asks, "Where's My Hat?"", then after Dolan shouts about the hat, and Melissa groans then reads the actual question.
"Dolan always "Blows Your Mind with "Treeth"". "He's going to Blow My Mind with a Tree? What's up with that?" LOL.
Not long after the Reddit post, Chris would again refer to said event in his Internet Dream Lounge interview, when asked about his biggest regret.
|Cakefarts (audio only)|
|Direct link||Youtube, archive|
|Stardate||18 July 2011|
|Shirt||Blue tank top|
|OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos|
Forgot the Glitter
Calling Out "Tito" - Don
|“||What the hell am I doing?||”|
|Chris, saying exactly what his viewers are thinking.|
Heeey, Jackie-pie! Mmm. You know what I like da most? Cake farts.
[The camera is then turned towards a backwards view of the table. Chris proceeds to awkwardly finger the cake and scrape some of the frosting off, followed by licking his digit]
Mmm. Let's get this done.
[Chris jumpily positions himself over the cake, as the viewers get a quite fine view of his duck and butt. He has the words "AWESOME SAUCE" written in barely legible script on his ass. One of the S's is the wrong way around, and there is a scribbled out attempt at writing the word awesome.]
Awesome... Sauce... There it is: Sauce. [begins twerking and flailing around in order to make his dick jiggle] Ass dance! Ass dance! See me do the ass dance! Do wacka do! Shake my funky monkey ass, give me beans I'll give you gas!
Let's do this.
[Sits down on cake, rises up, then performs the act for which the video is named, in turn getting an erection]
What the hell am I doing here? [Finishes smearing ass with chocolate cake; after more than a few seconds of seeing his ass and erect duck, he finally turns his face and body around to the camera] What the hell am I doing? I paid nine American dollars for this cake. That's a lotta yen. [To be precise, US$9 would be 711.99 yen on the date this video was filmed.] Kawaii! Bye, Japan.
- Uncensored version (NSFW)
- The inspiration (Also NSFW)
- The Reddit account Chris used to talk about the incident
|⇐ Forgot the Glitter||Chris's videos||Calling Out "Tito" - Don ⇒|