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CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters

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Simple as that; I will not accept any e-mails or phone calls; ONLY REAL LIFE ENCOUNTERS. So, if you are a True, Honest, Caring (18-27-year old, smoke-free, non-black) Woman, who desires at least a pleasant conversation with me ;) , you'll have to be living in Virginia and press your luck on a Chance Encounter.

With that statement aside, a new piece of comical wit after the music; laugh it up.
 


 

—Video description

CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters is a video posted to YouTube by Chris on 19 May 2009. After a 2-week silence (and video purge), Chris says that he will not accept any encounters with 18-(insert his age here) females, unless it's in real life. Same racist requirements apply. Afterwards, he displays a stinging comical wit that even Oscar Wilde himself would be enamored of, and left him in such demand with the ladies.

Video

CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters
Stardate 19 May 2009
Performance Style ReasonReason Reason, ComedyComedy Comedy, RageRage Rage
Shirt Straight White LinesStraight White Lines Straight White Lines
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Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009
 
 
I am still a single, legitimate, eligible male.
 

 

Transcript

I wish to make a, uh, general statement for I—uh, some of the comical wit. [inhales deeply, followed immediately by a jump cut]

Granted, now, I am still a single, legitimate, eligible male. I still am lookth—I still am looking for an 18-27 year-old, smoke-free, non-alcoholic, non-black woman. But most importantly, she's gotta be caring, true, and honest. [an empty annotation box appears around Chris's upper body, revealing "IN-PERSON CHANCE ENCOUNTERS ONLY, LADIES." when hovered over]

[jump cut to "I Love the Nightlife" playing loudly in the background]

So, if there are any true, caring, honest women… not any trolls… that wish to, uh, look me up and, uh, schedule a date, you'll have to, uh, find me in person. [an annotation appears, reading "NO CALLS OR E-MAILS! FIND ME IN PERSON, COME SAY HEY, AND BE LUCKY."] And, also, it'll have to be a chance meeting… in which—on that case, I will not be accepting any phone calls… [removes glasses dramatically] or e-mails. So… you'll just have to try to press your—you'll just have to press your luck on, uh, getting a date with me. So, that's just the way life is. [dances a wiggle dance]

[jump cut to the music no longer playing]

So, now, with that, uh, note aside, uh, I wish to, uh, c—uh, commute the, uh, new comical wit of which I have just created today.

[begins singing a song of his own creation, providing lyrics through annotations]

“Oh, I'm single and lonely, and possibly a bit horny.
But that ain't fit for a "Droll" "Sit-chee-ation", so now I'll just make it corny.”

[replaces glasses on face] I laugh at you, you stupid trolls. Die! [raises eyebrows dramatically]

Peace.

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