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Bagget

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Bagget with blackup.

Police officer Marcus Baggett works for the Albemarle County Police Department, and is the "Jerkop of all Jerkops" who arrested Chris at the Target. Not much is known about his personal life, but we do know he was commended by the local House of Delegates for his selfless commitment to public safety after stepping down from his squad car to rescue two people from a smoking restaurant, shortly before it erupted into flames, on 9 March 2002. Ironically, one of the sponsors of the resolution was Robert Bell, who would later on defend Chris in court.[1]

In 2008, Bagget participated in the 16th Annual Polar Plunge along with several other police officers from the Albemarle County Police Department to raise money for the Special Olympics of Virginia. He personally succeeded in raising $630. [2]

In 2009, Bagget was named The American Legion's Commonwealth of Virginia Law Enforcement Officer of the Year.[3] He later participated in the shooting of Colby Eppard on 1 January 2010 after the 18-year-old stole a police car and shot at several officers. Baggett fired a stinger to burst Eppard's tires, and subsequently fatally shot Eppard alongside several other officers.[4]

Naturally, despite his heroism, Chris goes to great lengths to demonize him, proving once and for all that no matter the great deeds someone has done, if they inconvenience Chris in any way they're evil. When Chris was being arrested, he found the situation humorous when he learned the jerkop's name, thinking how "Baggett" sounds a lot like "faggot". Witty.

In real life

From CWC's Diary:

"July 20, 2005: … I was at the new Target store, just hanging around, not bothering anyone. And, from out of the blue, these two Manajerks asked me to leave, because they said that I was loitering; I was NOT! I was there hoping to find an 18-23-year old, Boyfriend-Free girl, like I usually do. Then, from out of the blue, after I told them off, they came back with two Jerkops! I was slightly intimidated, but mostly annoyed and ready to strike back on them. They asked me to leave, and never return. I did not want to leave. I would have left peacefully, in fact, I was ready to go, but I had a prepared speech to say to them stupid Jerkops. And, during the middle of my speech, they chased me, pulled my pants, and pinned me to the floor. Five Jerkops dog-piled on me as I struggled to get free. A thousand pounds of sausages on my 180-pound body was seriously a cut-off for my Breathing Flow. They handcuffed my wrists and legs, and they hog-tied me! Not only did I felt humiliated from being the victim, but I was angry at them! Not only for handcuffing me, but once again thwarting my efforts in trying to find a Boyfriend-Free Girl. They drove me to the county jail, but fortunately, they did not keep me there; I was released to my family. But now I have to go to court on July 29 at 9:00 AM at the Albemarle County Courthouse, close to the Downtown Mall. So now, I feel very miserable, sad, lonely and rejected. And, while I had the handcuffs on me, both my hands, mostly my right, were seriously cut off from blood flow, and they both felt numb. It was terrible. But my mother and I are going to get back at them in court, in fact, I learned that the Jerkop who arrested me was called Bagget (that was the only thing about the situation that was hilarious; replace the “B” with an “F,” and you can see how funny it was).

You'd think that Chris would recall that he had previously said that all cops were good so long as they wore blue and black.[5] However, because Baggett, a real police officer, arrested Chris (for completely legitimate reasons), he is suddenly not a TRUE and HONEST police officer. So, according to Chris, cops are only okay if they wear blue and black and don't try to arrest him for breaking the law.

In the comic

Bagget appeared in Sub-Episode 7 in a dramatization of Chris's arrest at Target. He is portrayed as the "Jerkop Daitenzen", a sort of strange evil Power Ranger, and a reference to Excel Saga. He wears a brown uniform like the other Jerkops and at times wears a helmet in the same color. He also wears a pair of white gloves and boots, both with blue stripes to complete his appearance, looking somewhat like one of the many Kamen Riders, but without a mask. He commands a great number of Jerkops, as well as the Crackder that takes Chris down. Mary Lee Walsh seems to hold him in high regard, and at one point refers to him as "the strongest most evil villian [sic] ever,"[6][7] apparently making him more evil than Count Graduon.

He is called into action after Chris assaults Turdijerk and Trebor Capman, backed up by the Jerkhief and his men. He fights with a sword, and calls in Crackder to defeat Chris when he fails to fell the manchild himself, which it successfully does. He also briefly lapses into ye olde English for some reason.[8] After a brief round of torture, he then throws Chris into Crackder and they fly off to PVCC, where he presents a hog-tied Chris to Mary Lee Walsh on a giant plate. Despite Chris's humiliating defeat at his hands, he never gets any kind of revenge on Bagget, and he disappears from the comic after handing Chris over.

He would later return in Sonichu #7, making a brief cameo at Mary Lee Walsh's villain meet-up. This was his last appearance in the comic, and his ultimate fate following the destruction of PVCC at the end of Sonichu #10 is unknown.

In later retcons, Chris changed his name to "Dagget"- it's not known whether the Angry Beavers reference was intentional.

Sources

  1. http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?031+ful+HJ620
  2. [1]
  3. [2]
  4. http://www.readthehook.com/stories/2010/02/25/COVER-eppard-authorites-duck-parents-d.aspx
  5. Chris E-mails 2007#February
  6. http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_66
  7. http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_67
  8. http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Issue_4/Page_77

See also

Pickles.jpg
Tired of "Good Fan Art"? Visit our constantly expanding Gallery of Evil Fan Art! There's even a whole section dedicated to Bagget!
Christian Weston Chandler's people

Chris himself: Chloe | Bill Riley | Junior Jenkins | Carlos Chantor | Stephanie Bustcakes | Night Star | TwiSparLicious


Family:

At home: Bob Chandler | Barbara Chandler | Patti Chandler | The Chandler Cats | Clover and Snoopy

Others: Cole Smithey | Aunt Corrina | Minor Family Members | Daniel Weston | Anne Boleyn

Future: Lovely Weather | Crystal Weston Chandler | Reginald Chandler


Friends:

Sweethearts: Blanca Weiss | PandaHalo | Julie | Ivy | Kacey | Jackie | Catherine

Minor sweethearts: Lori Lopez | Hanna | Sarah Jackson | Emily | Vanessa Hudgens | Faeryn | Jessica Quinn

Sweethearts-to-be: Megan Schroeder | The Wallflower | DoopieDoOver

Gal-pals: Sarah Nicole Hammer | Laura Dorazio | Kellie Andes | Tiffany Gowen | Anna McLerran | Kim Wilson | Clare Porter

White knights: Robert Simmons V | Kenneth Erwin Englehardt | William Elliott Waterman

Others: Female fanbase | MLP voice actresses | Pokémon club friends | Rocky Shoemaker | Sam and Ellen | Virginia Jeanine Sanford


Trolls:

The Miscreants: Arjen Van Dierten | Bryan Bash | Clyde Cash | Jack Thaddeus | Jason Kendrick Howell | Joshua Martinez | Liquid Chris | Lordsillynipples | Man in the Pickle Suit | Sarah May | Surfshack Tito | Vivian Gee

The Asperpedia Four: Alec Benson Leary | Evan Christopher George | Mao Ling | Sean August Watley

Famous people: BILLY MAYS | Jay Z | Jimmy Hill | Reggie Fils-Aimé | Shigeru Miyamoto | Takashi Tezuka

Others: Arthur Spatchcock | Jeff/Francine | Johan | LadyOfTheCosmo | Thorg


Other enemies:

PVCC: Kene Meniru | Mary Lee Walsh

Jerkops: Bagget | Jerkhief

Manajerks: B-Manajerk | Kirby | "Lady" Manajerk | Michael Snyder | ScotPalazzo | Turdijerk | W-M-Manajerk | Yellow-Shirted Foe

The GAMe PLACe: Daniel Mimms | Lucas

Jerks: Joseph Herring | Wes Iseli

Others: Abusive babysitter | Adam Stackhouse | Bruce Johnson | Kathleen | Lulu.com executives | Omar Woodley | Pmurt | Rob Bell


Miscellaneous:

Actual people: A-Log | Barack Obama | Caitlin | DStecks | George W. Bush | Mia Hamm | Michael Hirtes | Ryan Cash

Inanimate objects: Kimmi | Naru | Officer Nasty