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Sonichu 9 Official Videobook

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For Truth and Honesty, see the archived CWCipedia page on Sonichu Book 9 Videobooks
Sonichu 8

Stress.jpg

Unfinished

Chris has yet to complete this project due to stress.

Sonichu 9 Official Videobook is a series of videos made by Chris, in which he reads from his comics. On 19 September 2009, Chris uploaded the videobooks for episode 19 from Sonichu #9. After that, Chris ceased the uploading of videobooks, as he, at that moment, had not yet completed episode 20.

  • In Episode 19, the characters have take a dating education class and hook up with members of their opposite genders.

Episode 19

Part 1

Transcript

OK, we're going to start on book number 9, which is fine, heh. Anyway once again, all Sonichu material is copyright March 17th 2000 by me, Christian Weston Chandler. Any names or persons illustrated in any of the comics except for myself that may seem similar to anyone in real life or fiction are purely coincidental or otherwise parodic.

Anyway here's the cover for book number 9. It is a good piece of artwork isn't it? Ah. In the featured in the uhh... in the episode 20 will be redone version of timmy1984's Sonichu Fan Promos, which I thought were pretty good but rewording could have been... used greatly. Cause he used the wrong words. Anyway-

Episode 19: Date Ed. Dating Education. Even though the idea sounds dated (laughs). April 3, 2008, at CWCVille University. (sings) Wild and Punchy are on their way into the university. And then Wild says:

"Ah, CWCVille U, when not in the classroom, it's a great social spring"

Punchy: "Oh yeah. I'm gonna take every note possible and I'm gonna show Angie a great time by May or June. Huh."

Pun- and Wild's nervous right now: "Yeah Punchy, so ambitious. Huh. I wonder who my woman will be."

Nearby are Simonla and Zapina, hangin' out. Hm. Well... oh, Wild goes on saying "don't pull my leg God, don't belabor it."

Anyway, Simonla's saying to Zapina "Well have a good day at [?] High, Zapina. Learn a lot. Find a good 16-year-old boy and your mom and dad will pick you up later."

Zapina: "Thank you Simonla. Zmmm. [?]. They ought to pay you more for being the best friend ever, in addition to being the best babysitter ever! Well you enjoy your classes too! I'll see ya! ZIP!"

BZZZ! Hm.

Simonla: "Maybe I'll- Maybe I'll get paired up with a great man, I have a dream of having a boy and nurturing him and loving my hubby. My ros- my son's name will be Reginald Sonee. Hehe!"

Later in the classroom, Wild's sitting there nervous like (laughs). And... Simonla's not so nervous like

"Wow there are an equal number of genders in this class counting myself"

Wild's thinking "Oh I'm so nervous, my head is paralyzed. It won't turn at all!"

And Punchy's confident: "Hehe. I'm gonna ace this class and wow my christian angel! Hehehaha yeahh!"

Then enters their teacher, Ms. Jackaras.

Ms. Jackaras: "Good morning class. Welcome to dating education. I am Ms. Jackaras. I will now pass around the syllabus for the course. Please read over them at your own pace. We'll be cutting to the chase in this class even though it's only the first day. I will be pairing you all up as boy and girl couples secretly, and any remaining single or singles will be paired up with a non- with a friend or associate of mine. I myself am not available as it would be against school regulations, and I am already going out with a good cowboy! Yeehah!

"Today, I will be lending out Barbara dolls for the men in this class, and Robert dolls for the women! After each of you have handed to me your written reasons for attending the class, and semester, for the first few weeks you each will practice what I teach you, and comm- and communicating with real people of your individual opposite genders! On your dolls I have loaned you, each of you, loaned each of you.

"The first time is great- of great importance- the first item of great importance is to always remain calm and keep all flustered emotions off your mind when first approaching the member of your opposite gender. It will take practice to tweak your minds to hold your fears back, but I assure you, it will be well worth it in the end, with all your lucky nights! Ahaha! Just messing with ya! Ahaaa. Ahh you'll need to start- you will need to start any of all relationships by being friends first! That's most important!

"Now. If you start off with beyond friend in mind, then the other person will feel nervous, and will-and will most likely walk away, ignore you or whatever. Let the romantic emotions grow between the two of you over a reasonable amount of time. A few weeks or even a few months with multiple meetings and dates with the person are well recommended. And as a gentleman, you should ask before even touching her, or ladies, you may ask him if it is cool for you to touch him, as a gesture respecting kindness.

"And now [?], and now that I have established all of that, I will take roll call."

"Amy"

"Here!"

"Clem"

"Here!"

"Clyde"

"Eyyy"

"Emily"

"Here!"

"[?]"

"Here!"

"Fred"

"EHEHEY!"

"Geraldine"

"Here!"

"George"

"Hoho"

"Layla"

"Here!"

"Ivy"

"Here!"

"Punchy"

"Yo"

"Reginald"

"Here...here!"

"Simonla"

"Here, yo!"

"Wild"

"SNERGEN FLERGEN!!!"

[Chris laughs]

"What?"

"Oh I'm sorry, er... here! Here, here."

"O...KAY! Well let's st- let's start with the greetings. To quote a wise 9-year old, if you want to start a conversation with a girl, or a guy ladies, first you have to say something like "hi". If he or she says hi back, you are off to a good start."

.........

Reginald's thinking, looking at the lovely Layla, "Wow, she is so cute! The class syllabus says the pairings will be made for the IM portion. I hope I get matched up with her!"

Layla (mumbles): "...if he doesn't like you, do not worry it happens. Another good way to..."

...

In the mean time Ivy is scribbling too.

............ping.

Something- and then suddenly, a thought-and then suddenly, a telepathic image occurs, doo doo doo between me and her. It turns out we are destined summoned by God and Jesus. hm.

God: " Children, I am God. I have summoned you two here because I am answering Christian's prayers. Chris this is Ivy, your sweetheart-to-be"

Jesus: "And I'm Jesus. 'Sup?"

Chris: "Uhhh hello Ivy."

Ivy: "Hi Christian. What's goin' on?"

Chris: "I'm livin' safe and well. What about you?"

Ivy: "I'm ok."

Chris: "Tell me about yourself."

Ivy: "Well I'm living in blah blah blah blah my father is uhhh blah blah I shop often at blah blah blah"

Chris: "Hm. Well it all has checked out. You are true. Wow my biological clock is fixed. I trust you and I believe you. I love you Ivy, my heart is dedicated to you."

Ivy: "Aww. I'm happy for you and I'm happy to help. I love you Chris."

God: "You will recognize her [?] as your sweetheart because from a fav- from a favor on her half, your internal clock will be restored fully, your enemies of 4-cent-garbage will be vanquished, so you both will live together in peace. Live freely."

Hmmm.

God: "This is a future. Occurrences may occur. I have spoken."

Jesus: "So have I. Hehe. I'm hanging with my pop."

God: "Ah y'all take care."

...........

Then we warp out of that zone, back into the classroom.

Ivy: "Woooow. Wow."

And a lot of time has passed in the class since then but anyway, Ms Jackaras says: "OK class, as our f- time is almost up, i need to inform you that I have gone through the-my roster, and I have randomly matched eassstudent- each student male with female, and I have each of your screen names written on these slips along with the screen names of your matched partners. I will be handing out the slips now. No trades, swaps or changes are allowed. For any of the pairings, y'all each will be chatting with your partners in instant messages online sections in the computer lab in the next few classes. For your homework tonight, converse with your assigned GI Joes, ladies, and likewise your assigned Barbies, gentlemen, like you were conversing with that person of your opposite gender. Handwrite out your pretend conversations as it happens, or shortly after from memory. Then handwrite a minimum of 50 word essay on your thoughts about the conversation. Class dismissed".

Part 2

Transcript

After handing out the cards, Reginald Sneasel is uh, looking- uh has not read his card yet, but he's thinking ahead and being happy and he's thinking ahead, wishfully and hapfully.

Reginald: Oh what fun, th-that cute little Flaaffy will have my screen name, sneaselfox, and I'll have hers!

Layla: Punchabunch35...

Reginald: What!?

Then with his keen eye he looks over at Lay- over at Layla's card and reads:

Reginald: Flaffyla237, matched with... punchabunch35?!

Reginald Sneasel, sneaselfox, matched with floradora217.

Reginald: [horrified] UH!

And he knocks his bar- knocks his Barbara doll over.

Reginald: Noooo!

Then Punchy reads his card, he's like,

Punchy: Hmm. Yeah, ok. Flaafyla237. Whatever, I have my eyes on angierosa938! Heheheheheeee, yes.

Wild Sonichu AKA spidershock38 matched with digdugette416. Ehhh Ivy does not look at hers cause, sh-she's gonna look- she's not, she's neh, she's gonna hold out for me. For... me. Yeah. And Simonla Rosechu, AKA digdugette4-sisteen get matched with spidershock38. Ahhh yeah here's floradora217, who got- who got f-got matched up with sneaselfox. And this guy, George Philip, is uh, paired up with uh, Ivy. But he can't- he doesn't know it really cause, it got smudged... the name got smudged.

George: [Talks indistinct in muffled tone. Possibly says "floradora."]

Shortly later we see Punchy Sonichu in front of a CWCcola machine. Hmm. The currency in CWCville is comprised of W and C quarters, which is similar to rings to Sonic. W's equal 10 and C equal 1. SO it's like you take 10 C's to make a W. But anyway all Punchy has is W's and the machine only accepts C's. Anyway. Hmm. Wild comes- Wild comes and says:

Wild: Hey Punchy why the face?

Punchy: Uhh. I want a soda, but it takes only C quarters and I only have W quarters. Do you have any change?

Wild: Esh uhh, let me check. Uhhh... oh you're in luck! I have 12 C-quarters. I'll give you 10 for a W.

Punchy: Cool, thanks.

So then Punchy gives Wild his W-quarter and he gets 10 C-quarters. He grabs a CWCcola and enjoys it. Meanwhile there's a [pause] sleuthing Reginald Sneasel hiding in con- hiding around the corner.

Reginald: Huh. I should have been the one paired up with that cute flaafy, Layla. Ugh! You shall not win her heart, you red dude! I will see to it, myself!

Hmm. Nets d- nets class day, April 8th, Tuesday, in the computer lab:

Ms. Jackaras: Well, welcome to the iDate lab! T' assure anonymininny 'n your par'ners, all gemly will work on one side of the lab facing away from the women on th' other side of the lab. Okay! All ge' ready to meet your faceless par'ners.

So now we converse between- right now we're conversing between [pronounces as 'Wile'] and Simonla; also known as spi'er- also known as spidershock and digdugette. As Wile says:

Spidershock (Wild): Hello.

'N she says:

DigDugette (Simonla): Hello.
Spidershock: Hmm. Is' a nice day, isn't it?
DigDugette: Well, yeah. It is. How d'yah like the class?
Spidershock: Oh. Is' cool. Ever though'- even though- even though I am usually wild, I feel shy aroun' real women. You?
DigDugette: Oh, same here. I get goose-pimply aroun' guys a bit.
Spidershock: Ah. No worries. I promise not to bite. Eheheheheh. You like me so far?
DigDugette: Hmm. I'm enjoyin' the chat so far. You're doin' okay.

Then we go [volume decreases] then we go [volume increases] to the chat between Punchy 'n Layla.

Punchabunch35 (Punchy): Hey hey! 'Sup?
Flaafyla237 (Layla): Hello. Um. I'm feelin' ba-a-ashful.
Punchabunch35: Oh. Is' cool. I would be- I would be shy myself if I have s-s-hamamna go.
Flaafyla237: Oh? How do you you'll still want her at the end of this semester?
Punchabunch35: Hmm. I think I stand a good chances-s. T'! She's a goo' girl.
Flaafyla237: Really? Won't you even give me a try before you go bah-bye~?
Punchabunch35: Ooo, are you jealous?

Ahehe... but then Reginald talks- oh, e-... Reginald is sittin' right next to Punchy. He say,

Reginald: Hey, P- [the audio and video skips here a little] -nch, I hear your partner had a daddy Taurus and looathes the color red! And, she likes women!
Punchy: Don't mess with me dude, I'm on a roll here with this girl.

Punchy thinks in response. But anyway fortunately d-day-... anyway between Punchy and Simonla... compliment- they compliment each other, found lots in common, few opposites. Flirt, flirt, flirt [chuckling going on at the last flirt], they got each other excited, and inited rarest inspirations, and enjoying and loving every moment. Between Punchy and Layla... Layla talks and gains Punchy's s'interests. They have a lot in common, and she really turns on the charm ahehehehe, ah... Punchy starts to fall for Layla over Angelica. Also, Punchy checks the s'rumors from Reginald from with Layla, most of which were verified false. And being a sad little sad Reginald is, he adores FloraDore but he feels jealousy, sadness, and loneliness, and contributed little. And Florence feels dumped, lonely and yes she tries and tries to cheer Reginald up! Poor littl- poor girl!

Reginald (or Florence?): I feel like I'm gettin' the wrong end of the deal here! What the!?

Later on after that class day, Wild le- Wild... leaves the uh, school. He says-... he's thinking,

Wild: Wow.. DigDudette- DigDugette is a fun treat. I which I knew which girl she was. A one out of seven chance.
Simonla: Oh I hear ya Layla girl! S... [slight pause] Spidey was fun for me an' he was a real gentleman to talk too.
Wild: (thoughts) Spidey? Heh, sound like I might hige- find out who she is after all!

And Simonla is talkin' to Layla and Zapina comes in to.. interrupt the chat.

Simonla: Oh hey Zapina! I was just chillin' with my new laaffy gal-pal Layla.
Layla: Hhhi!
Zapina: Hey Layla. [incomprehensible noise that sounds like hoobuma!]
Layla: Laaffy? Hehe! You're one to talk; you have your arm drills, you need to pump to void (?) dig the dug.

Hehehehehehehee! Oh... then, Wild and Punchy definitely notice the conversation going on between the ladies. - Next class date, April 10th on a Thursday. Punchy says,

Punchabunch35: I think I know who you are, hehe, I overheard n-re-... a real li- an RL- an IRL chat between you an a frien'.
Flaafyla237: O-oh you naughty b-o-oy. We're not supposed to have gone in real life yet.
Punchabunch35: Oh I know, hmmmm~
Flaafyla237: Well, wha ya have in mind?
Punchabunch35: You have moved me better than Angie. How 'bout dinner and a movie after class?
Flaafyla237: Welll...

But Reginald sneaks under and is n-prepared to snip the cord of connection. Pff. He disconnects Punchy's keyboard...

Flaaflyla237: I'd love to! But let's only have dinner tonight. An I'm in the mood for gril... for grilled chicken sandwich at McD. Issat cool?
Punchabunch35: Uh yeah, well...
Punchy: Wait a minute, I'm not gettin' anything inwhat theI can't type anything in!
Flaafyla237: Bunch? Bunch a bunch?
Punchy: Wild? Wild!

Wild... Wild's s'sittin right nes to him. So... he tells Wild.

Punchy: Please go tell the flaafy girl I said, 'is cool, I'll meet her outside the school, and my keyboard stopped working for me.' Dangit! What the deuce?

So then yet again s'da teacher's instructions, Wild broke those to the women's side and talks to Layla... and talks to, and talks to Laaf- Layla.

Wild: Uh eh, excu- uh, excuse me.
Layla: Yes?
Wild: Uh Punchy, uh, Punchabunch, sent me to inform you his keyboard stopped working but he will meet you outside the school buildinglater...
Layla: Oh dear! Well, please tell him it is good, I'll meet him by the front s-sc-school... school front at four thirty. Thank you!

Nn... mn mey, da-p... and then Wild looks over to her screen n'then he sees that uh, it's the same conversation s-sh, he's been having with uh, DigDugette!

Wild: [gasp] I thought so!

He exclaims, then he-

Layla: What?

And then he points over to Simonla he says,

Wild: I've been talking to her this whole time!

And... h, Simonla notices and surprise, and turns around and sees him.

Simonla: [gasps as well] Oh my god, spidershock!?
Wild: Yeah!
Simonla: W-... wow. You're more handsome then y'give yourself credit for!
Wild: And you are... simply dazzling!

[Chris starts singing this 'romantic' tune] Cupid's arrow, has struck!

Part 3

Transcript

Oooommm, ahh. Love at first sight. Well, near first sight, anyway. And they lock hands in love. Then, after the class... [Ptoo! Ptoo!] Makin' like a- like an- like the spider- makin' like electric hedgehog, heh, or a spider monkey or whatever, huh huh.

Uh, he swings her o- he swings Simon- Wild swings Simonla over to his... wild tree house, to his tree house, and Wild turns on the power in his house and, he's like, heh, and she- and Simonla's impressed. Hm.

Simonla: "Wooow. Bigcommonfactor we both build, tinker and construct."
Wild: "Yeah, Big C donated the mattress, battery, lights and pillows," Wild says, "but I built this tree house and furniture."
Simonla: "Hhhhhhhh (in apparent admiration). Wow."

Then Simonla's like, "Oh, c'mon, you have to see my pad" then.

So then they swing back over to CWCville, and they par- and they park across in the mall. And it's like, it's underground.

Simonla: "Oh please, don't take root here yet, Wild, heh heh."

It's ten feet down to her ceiling from the mailbox. [rustles paper ferociously]

And then he- and they get down and then she turns on the lights in there. Wild's... impressed, as well.

Wild: "Yeah, impressive. You're a constructor, huh? Got the PhD, got the degree an' everything. Sweet."

This is a layout of Wild Sonichu's tree house. One look's at the outside and front, and then bird's-eye view of the inside. And then you go underground to Simonla's... underground home, you might say her rabbit hole, heh. Yeah, but she's not a rabbit. Yep. Okay.

But now retracting to back after t- after the class... Layla just steps out of the university, she's lookin'.

Layla: "Yeah, yeah, Punch-a-bunch?"
Punchy: "Yo. You can call me Punchy."
Layla: "Uh. Call me dazzled. Naahaahaa [sheeplike laugh] I'm Layla."

Hm. And then she d- and then he dashes around her and he says:

Punchy: "Well Layla, I have a bike and a side car. Let's paint an McD [em-cee-dee] red, white and yellow."
Layla: "Oh yes, ha ha. Oh, [slipping back into Chris's voice] you know, I prefer to exercise a lot by walking."
Punchy: "It's okay. I'm sure your feet could use a break. Let's go."

[VROOM]

So then they ride on Punchy's motorcycle.

[VROOOOOOMMMM]

To an McD just a couple of miles away.

So uh, once they're inside, they make their order. Punchy, Punchy says:

Punchy: "Yeah, I'll have a number 5, grilled, no mayo, no salt on da freedom fries."

And then, and Layla says:

Layla: "Yeah, and I'll have a Caesar salad, pickles on the side, and a diet cola. Oh, and ranch dressing, please."

So then, they get to their table and they're enjoying their meal. So Layla's munch-munching on her salad, and Punchy offers her- offers her a fry. [Mumbling] Yeah, he offers her a fry.

Punchy: "Ah, come on."
Layla: "Mmmm, okay. Aaaaaa [presumably eating]"

And Reginald's outside looking in that McDonald's, and he's sad. But then, suddenly, somebody taps him on the shoulder, from behind. It's Angelica!

Angelica: "I've heard from Flo that you need a friend."

So later at CWCville park, Reginald and Angelica got to talkin'. Hm.

Angelica: "Really. I feel for you. An important lesson from your- from your class [emphatic Chris voice] that should be on the test is that you have to forget your fears [returning to Angelica's voice] and talk to the woman before she can be swept away by anyone else."
Reginald: "Yeah. Anyway, thanks for listening. Layla was cute, but I guess I'll get over it. You're pretty too, Angelica. But you probably wouldn't want to go out with meee [nasal].
Angelica: "Oh, nonsense. I think you're sweet, handsome and honest. I would love to continue hangin' with you."
Reginald: "Really? Wow! Would you like to have dinner at my place tonight?"
Angelica: "Sure. I'd love that."

Wow. Huh! And then, she reaches over for his... claw, and then they look into each other's eyes, and take a moment to have- take a moment to smile at each other.

But they're not the only ones in CWCville park. Nearby are Punchy and Layla on the bench at the far side, and in the middle is Wild and Simonla. And Simonla says to Wild:

Simonla: "Can this really work, Wild? You're electric, I'm ground and you're grass."
Wild: "I don't care, Simonla. I love you, no doubt about it!"
Simonla: "Oh Wild, I love you too!"

And then they all just enjoy the sunset. [feebly] Yay...

Off behind them in the distance, uh, Ivy enjoys the sunset as w- as well from the rooftop of CWCville shopping center.

Ivy: "I pray for your safe voyage to me; I will wait for you. As God and Jesus has guided me to."

[Zooms out and starts singing something (?) for a few seconds]

But uh, okay, let's- now Tuesday, May 6th, 2008, the final exam of the- of DAT 303. Unfortunately, it's not Ms. Jackaras that comes today— it's her sister.

Ms. Jackaras: "Good morning. I, Rita Jackaras, Sarah's sister [gulping breath] I-I- I'm sorry. My sis, she recently passed away, in an automobile accident with — truck. But sis tell me lot about you all [not bothering to correct typos], and the class. I'm capable of issuing exams, and grade with answer key. [mumbling to herself] (Uh, I'll get over this, c'mon, c'mon, get over this, girl. Okay.) I was impressed with the successful love-relationships that have developed in the class. I hope y'all study well from sis' teachings. I wish you all good luck on the exam and future in your individual relationships. Please begin."

The individual students took the exam, and they each got their results in the mail a week later. Between our m- between our main characters, uh, Simonla got 99 percent, uh, Layla got 97, Ivy got 9sss- 99, Reginald got 98, hmm, Wild got 98, and Punchy got 100. Mm.

Everybody else got good grades. The, uh, lowest-scoring one unfortunately was this guy named- what's his- Clyde Raymond, in the far corner. Well, that's what you get for sittin' in the back row! You don't get to learn as much. Stay tuned for the next episode.