Two's company snapshots

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I only go up to a certain limit, like I would very rarely date a woman who weighed more than 250 lbs.
 

 

—Chris, lying.[1]

The two's company snapshots are a series of photographs taken of Chris enjoying a drink at Applebee's[2] with a morbidly obese young whale, playfully nicknamed Hambeast by the trolls. They were uploaded on 4chan's /v/ on 15 July 2009.

Contrary to rumors on other imageboards, it can now be revealed that Chris did not receive any vag, liberated or otherwise.

On the CWCipedia, Chris claims that this was his first date.

In a Captain's Log dated 14 March 2010, Chris revealed the name of the Hambeast as Faeryn as he was demanding she be made anonymous.[3]

Unlike Chris, years later she managed to get married and have a child.

Background

The date was partially a setup by field agents to see how Chris would react to a willing, but physically unattractive potential mate. While their introduction was a setup, it was actually Chris himself who initiated conversation and asked her out on a date, managing to snag her number. Like Chris she too was fat, unattractive, with poor hygiene and little opportunity for a relationship. Even so, she was less than enthusiastic about dating Chris, and only eventually agreed by virtue of not being able to come up with a good excuse not to.

Also, note that she's chugging down a pint of beer, while Chris is drinking a brightly-colored cocktail. Furthermore, these images have revealed to us that Chris's taste in clothing can indeed get much, much worse. It remains unknown whether the longsleeve Chris is wearing under that red tee was designed by someone under the influence of Yawning Squirtle's supergrass, or by CWC himself, but what remains certain is that this chaos of pink, white and blue-green stands out even in Chris's own terrifying wardrobe.

Chris later told Kacey that he got drunk and touched Faeryn "a few times", and she told him afterwards that she wasn't into him.[2]

The images

References

Sweethearts and gal-pals

Chris himself: Chloe


Sweethearts: Blanca WeissPandaHaloJulie MilvanaIvy O'NeilKacey DevoriaJacklyn RomyCatherine Sorrentino

Minor sweethearts: Lori LopezHannaSarah JacksonEmilyVanessa HudgensFaerynJessica Quinn

Sweethearts-to-be: Megan SchroederThe Wallflower (in Chris's words) ♥ DoopieDoOver

Present sweethearts: Cryzel, Magi-Chan, Sylvana and Mewtwo

Future sweethearts: Lovely Weather


Gal-pals: Sarah Nicole HammerLaura DorazioKellie AndesTiffany GowenAnna McLerranKim WilsonClare Porter


Other acquaintances: Female fanbaseMLP voice actressesPokémon club friendsSam and EllenVirginia Jeanine Sanford


Inanimate objects/Fictional Characters: Officer NastyKimmiMeg GriffinNaru


See also: List of Chris's sweetheartsLove QuestMia Hamm


CWCipedia entry on "Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts"
Christian Weston Chandler's people

Chris himself:

Bill Riley | Carlos Chantor | Chloe | Junior Jenkins | Night Star | Stephanie Bustcakes | TwiSparLicious


Family:

At home: Bob Chandler | Barbara Chandler | Patti Chandler | The Chandler Cats | Clover and Snoopy

Others: Anne Boleyn | Aunt Corrina | Cole Smithey | Daniel Weston | Minor Family Members |

Future: Crystal Weston Chandler | Lovely Weather | Reginald Chandler


Friends:

Sweethearts: Blanca Weiss | Julie | Catherine | Cryzel and Magi-Chan Ivy | Kacey | Jackie | PandaHalo |

Minor sweethearts: Emily | Faeryn | Hanna | Jessica Quinn | Lori Lopez | Sarah Jackson | Vanessa Hudgens |

Sweethearts-to-be: DoopieDoOver | Megan Schroeder | The Wallflower |

Gal-pals: Anna McLerran | Clare Porter | Kellie Andes | Kim Wilson | Laura Dorazio | Sarah Nicole Hammer | Tiffany Gowen |

White knights: Robert Simmons V | Kenneth Erwin Englehardt | William Elliott Waterman

Others: DRWolf | Female fanbase | Joshua Moon | MLP voice actresses | Pokémon club friends | Rocky Shoemaker | Virginia Jeanine Sanford


Trolls:

The Miscreants: Arjen Van Dierten | Bryan Bash | Clyde Cash | Jack Thaddeus | Jason Kendrick Howell | Joshua Martinez | Liquid Chris | Lordsillynipples | Man in the Pickle Suit | Sarah May | Surfshack Tito | Vivian Gee

The Asperpedia Four: Alec Benson Leary | Evan Christopher George | Mao Ling | Sean August Watley

Famous people: BILLY MAYS | Jay Z | Jimmy Hill | Reggie Fils-Aimé | Shigeru Miyamoto | Takashi Tezuka

Traitors Arthur Spatchcock | Bryanfrogboy | CWCProtectSquad | Idea Guys | Jeff/Francine | MKRNightVee | Teen Troon Squad |

Others: Johan | LadyOfTheCosmo | Sam and Ellen | Surfshack Tito | Thorg |


Other enemies:

PVCC: Kene Meniru | Mary Lee Walsh

Jerkops: Bagget | Jerkhief

Manajerks: B-Manajerk | Kirby | "Lady" Manajerk | Michael Snyder | ScotPalazzo | Turdijerk | W-M-Manajerk | Yellow-Shirted Foe

The GAMe PLACe: Daniel Mimms | Lucas

JERKS: Joseph Herring | Wes Iseli

Others: Abusive babysitter | Bruce Johnson | Kathleen | Lulu.com executives | Pmurt | Sonic Boom producers | Rob Bell


Miscellaneous:

Famous people: Barack Obama | George W. Bush | PewDiePie | Red Skelton | R.L. Stine

Orbiters: A-Log | DStecks | Jacob Sockness | Michael Hirtes

Others: Adam Stackhouse | Caitlin | Mia Hamm | Ryan Cash

Inanimate objects/Fictional Characters: Kimmi | Meg Griffin | Naru | Officer Nasty