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This article is about the troll sweetheart who went on a date with Chris on 16 March 2009. For the "Emily" identity that Chris assumed as Twitter handle "NightStar2891", see NightStar2891. For the Watchmen member named Emily, see Spunky.
Trollll.PNG Troll disclosure: This persona was created, appropriated, or otherwise used by trolls to manipulate Chris. She and Kim Wilson were played by LoveYouLongTime.[1]

Though this identity is contrived, the CWCki may treat it as if it were a real identity because it was to Chris. (It's also funnier that way.)
Name Emily Julia Schifflet
Date of birth c. 1990 (age 34)
Gender Female
Race White
Occupation Troll

Emily Julia Schifflet[2] (born c. 1990) is Chris's onetime sweetheart with whom he went on a date. The date memorably ended in disaster when he was trolled IRL by a man dressed like a pickle. The Emily persona was played by LoveYouLongTime.

Emily's identity is zealously guarded by her friends, but needless to say, we can tell you she's female and has great legs. Some argue she's Asian, but those people are probably slow-in-the-minds.

Chris's first date

Main article: Date with Emily

In March 2009, shortly after Julie turned out to be a thirteen-year-old boy, Chris vowed that he would return to his real-life exploits of stalking women in public places in order to gain his sweetheart. Emily, a journalism student and head of the Sonichu Girls chapter at West Virginia University (and totally not a troll), decided to take Chris up on his offer and asked if he'd liked to go out to lunch sometime.

Chris actually stood up Emily the first time, on 16 March 2009, because he was so stressed from his parents arguing over whether she was real or not. Bob believed that Emily was sincere and truly wanted to meet Chris, while Barb was more suspicious. Chris's small mind could not handle two simultaneous arguments and so he didn't go.[3] Emily was pissed off about this and demanded that Chris reschedule. Chris agreed and a new date was set.

When Chris finally did meet up for the date (on 19 March 2009 at Charlottesville Fashion Square), he brought his 81-year-old father, Bob Chandler, along. Yes, he brought his dad on his first date. At least it wasn't his mother.

Chris would later confide to Ivy that he was very proud that he did not soil himself when the Pickle Man appeared.[4]

Kiss fail

For reference, this is Chris in his kissing stance.
Well, when I was going to ditch him for the man in the picklesuit, Chris had his arm extended like he wanted a hug. So I was like, "sure, whatever" and was just going to give him a half assed hug. Lord, what a dumb move. I'm a small girl, so I have narrow shoulders. His large fucking arm basically weighed down around my neck over my shoulder and tightening, and what I could see in the corner of my eye was Chris puckering his lips and his face moving closer to mine. I did a duck and turn to avoid it. If I seriously turned my head to get a better look, he may have well have gotten my lips. I wonder if that was what Chris was going for; the surprise kiss on the lips when the girl turns her head. Too bad that only works in anime and movies. Or really suave guys.

The end

Main article: Hooker incident#Post-date call

Shortly after Chris headed back home, he had a phone call with Emily regarding how the date went out. Prior to this, however, he was greeted at home by a group of hookers sent over by Clyde Cash.


On 17 April 2009, a white knight/counter-troll named Harbal revealed to Chris by email that Emily was a troll and that she wore a wire during her date with Chris. In said email, Chris was also directed to audios of his conversations with Emily on the website of The Miscreants.[5] On 31 August 2009, Chris mentioned learning from the The Miscreants's website that Emily wore a wire during their date,[6] suggesting that he did not ignore Harbal's email.

An individual named Emily is referred to in several chats from the Vanessa Saga. During Vanessa AIM Chat 6, Vanessa AIM Chat 8 and Vanessa AIM Chat 9 (conducted on 21, 27 and 30 April 2009 respectively) Chris was simultaneously instant messaging this Emily and chatting with Joshua Martinez (posing as Vanessa Hudgens). In Vanessa AIM Chat 8, Chris mentions having met this Emily and also says that she has a bodyguard (the reason for this is not specified). It is unknown whether or not this Emily is the same person as the Emily who met Chris in Charlottesville Fashion Square.

All the references to the Emily from the Vanessa saga came after Harbal's email. Therefore, if we assume that two Emilys are indeed the same, an explanation is needed as to why Chris continued being in contact with her despite Harbal's warning. It may that be it took a while for Chris to come to terms with the information that was sent to him. Harbal also told Chris that Ivy was a troll, and yet Chris continued being in contact with her afterwards.[7]

Emily may have been referenced by Chris In episode 19 of Sonichu. The dating education class on which the story focuses has a student named Emily Ryan and a student named Fred Shiflet, whose last name is the same as that of Emily. In the final exam of Date Ed Fred gets a 91 and Emily gets an 82.[8] Emily and Fred receiving good grades might suggest that Chris's view of Emily was not completely negative when he made episode 19.

On the other hand, in the CWCipedia article Gal-Pals and Past Sweethearts written by Chris on 19–20 April 2010, Emily's name is mentioned nowhere. The discrepancy might be explained by the fact that episode 19 was finished on 12 April 2009,[9] prior to Harbal's email, while the article was written long afterwards.


External links

MITPS.png Emily Saga MITPS.png
The Players

People: ChrisLoveYouLongTime (EmilyKim WilsonUnknown Gal-pals) • Bob ChandlerMan in the Pickle SuitMagical ManClyde CashFaerynRobert Simmons VBryan Bash

LoveYouLongTime: Emily: Kim:
Coinciding Sagas: Clyde Cash, Liquid