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For My True Love, I Would…

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I’d lay her down caress her gently tickle her fancy; have her tickle my fancy, and give it to her with the learned lonely experience I’ve endured.
 

 

"For My True Love, I Would…" is a poem by Chris, written on 30 December 2007. This poem provides early evidence of Chris's obsession for sex.

Text

For My True Love, I Would…
A message from what’s left of my heart and soul,
by Christian Weston Chandler, December 30, 2007

For my true love, I'd treat her tenderly, sweetly, gently...like a summer breeze. I'd caress her skin gently with my strong fingers. I'd take her to eat and provide for her to my ability. I'd start small at McDonalds, then let it get better in due time. When the mood is right, I'd wisk her in my arms, and lift her up in sweet gentleness. I would share with her the BEST kiss of my life, and hopefully hers, since it would be the first of my life. I would do for her as much as I am able to in getting her the she desires. Every day, I would try to make her smile with a jest, a spark, or a tender massage. If she is willing to allow the pleasure, I’d lay her down caress her gently tickle her fancy; have her tickle my fancy, and give it to her with the learned lonely experience I’ve endured. But I digress on that. Most importantly, I would hang on to her every word of her life tales, er feelings, her troubled times, and I’d share my condolences accordingly. And I can hope she would be willing to do the same for me. I am nothing without this woman, so I hope and pray that she will stay to love me for me, as I would stay with her for her. “I LOVE YOU” would be shared daily with a French side dish. I am her soldier, to do for her as she sees fit.

Analysis

This "poem" has one of the highest concentrations of lies out of any of Chris's literary works. Chris claimed to be strong, be able to provide for her, listen to her, and be loyal to her. Chris's ego at its finest, ladies and gentlemen. He also showed that he believes that McDonald's is a great place for a first date, because what woman wouldn't want to be treated to a cheap, greasy hamburger with a creepy, smelly man-child?

In addition to being a lethal injection of falsehoods, this poem also gives us a brief look into Chris's perverted mind. This poem was likely written with the intention that a potential sweetheart would read it and fall for him. Chris likely believed that promising sex would impress a woman (apparently, being willing to have sex with a woman is a very rare trait among males). Though falling far short of impressing any woman, this poem still has a purpose: to show how fixed Chris is on sex. Companionship my ass.

The Writings of Christian Weston Chandler

Poetry: "Valentines Day Hymn" | "For My True Love, I Would…" | "Hard Love Quest" | "I Want a Girlfriend for Christmas" | "Saddest Heart in the World" | "Song of Christian" | "Sonichu's Ode to Rosechu" | "An Inspired Poem for Jackie" | "PAIN Enduring since October 29, 2013"

Stories and Tracts: "How the Pokémon Came into Our PokéBalls" | "A Week With Christian Chandler" | "My big 18th party" | "Bionic the Hedgehog" | "Sonichu & Rosechu… The Genesis of the Lovehogs" | Sonichu's News Dash | "Chris + Sarah's Life-Shares" | "Story of My Current Days" | "The High School Story" | "A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story" | Chris's Response to the Terrorism Attacks in Paris

See also: Chris and writing