—Chris, Jackie E-mails 1
Chris had a box of chocolate-flavored condoms that he purchased to be prepared for his first time. Chris had given a few different dates for when they expired; some time in 2010  and January 2013 .
If Chris ever finds the future wife he imagines himself with, he presumably won't have to practice safe sex with her, because you don't need to wear a raincoat when you're in Lovely Weather.
A survey shows that an umbrella makes a better metaphorical symbol for a condom.