Chris and science

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Chris showing off his scientific side with Dimensional Merge statistics written on a McDonald's napkin.

Science is the systematic study of the natural world through observation and experimentation. Science can be divided into pure science, which studies natural phenomena, and applied science, which finds practical uses for said phenomena.

Chris has an on/off history with science – though it is mostly off. His view on science is utterly warped. He has lost touch with the times and thinks science is much more ahead in certain fields than it actually is, probably due to him getting all his information through fictional media. He has also mixed up real science, pop science, pseudoscience, and other things he has learned from media and enablers to create a very distorted view of nature.

His ego also causes him to reject scientific findings, such as when he rejected the fact that Asperger syndrome and high-functioning autism are one and the same.

Chris on science

Chris comes from a scientific background on his father's side. Bob was a scientific man; he worked as a GE engineer for a large part of his life. He wanted Chris to be into science too, so he had set up a small workshop where he and young Chris would tinker around. Chris's paternal half-siblings both held STEM doctorates, and Chris himself has an Applied Science associate's degree in CADD. Alas, none of this got Chris deeply interested in science.

Chris has stated his opinions on science in his OkCupid questionnaire. He said all types of science are interesting to him, though he finds conversations about science to be boring and annoying. He claims to put equal weight in science and faith and enjoys finding out how things work.

All these however should be taken with a grain of salt since he was ready to do anything (including lying) to obtain china. His actual views on pure science are probably low or non existant since he slept through high school. He may have a positive opinion on computer science due to him being hooked on computers since a very young age. Unsurprisingly, Chris is not interested in engineering; all his engineering marvels are shitty duct tape and Lego creations that a child could also make.

Pure science

Physics

There are multiple things that are horribly wrong in the Sonichu comics, including a lack of regard for the laws of physics. Documenting all of these would be impossible since each page of the comic has some law being broken.

All kinds of wacky things happen in the comics, such as light behaving to the wishes of the Great Director Chandler.

Light behaving weirdly in Sonichu #8

Velocity and acceleration are as random as the lottery, friction becomes fiction, and hypothetical concepts such as parallel dimensions and portals are everyday occurrences.

Portals in Sonichu #6

Normally, these discrepancies from reality could be written off as science fiction. But Chris thinks all of this really happened in some other dimension, and it can be considered as a critique of his scientific knowledge.

In real life, since Chris has no real powers, he has to play by the rules of physics, but he maintains an unbending belief in unproven concepts. Most of these beliefs can be traced back to fictional media he likes, such as Who Framed Roger Rabbit and Futurama for the multiple dimensions,[1] and Rick and Morty to prove that there are other people who can traverse dimensions.[2]

Chemistry

Chris had two gal-pals as partners in his Chemistry lab. Not much else is known of his views on Chemistry, though he probably has low opinions about it due to the rote nature of chemistry and him being a lazy bum.

Biology

Main article: Biology

Chris's history with biology is well documented due to him torturing his body by ramming all sorts of things into holes where they don't belong while also torturing biologists by making ungodly anatomical drawings of Electric Hedgehog Pokémon and shitty morphological drawings of humans.

Applied science

Computer science

Main article: Computers

Out of all the sciences, Chris is probably the best at computer science. Like most people born during or after the 1980s, he has been around computers since his childhood. He took some computer upgrade classes in PVCC, and he bragged to Kacey's dad that he's technologically inclined. He coded most of his websites by hand using text editors, as opposed to using purpose built HTML editors that do the heavy work for him.[3] He knows a bit about older computers like the Commodore 64 due to his age and nostalgia.

Engineering

Bob tried to get Chris interested in engineering since Chris was young – to no avail. Though Chris has made a few "inventions", such as a case for holding two Apple products and a case for holding Pokémon cards.

Chris making Bob proud

The raw materials Chris uses are limited to Crayola Model Magic, Legos and duct tape. Due to his new interest in cosplaying, he has started making some accessories to go along with the costume. When he cosplayed as Kris from Pokémon Crystal for BronyCon 2019, he tried to make a Pokégear. Instead of using proper professional materials, he opted to use Crayola Model Magic.

Medicine

Main article: Chris and health

Medicine is a field of applied human biology which helps in keeping a person's health in check. Chris has incredibly poor mental, physical and social health.

Another problem he creates is by self-medicating and relying on unlicensed people. He did go to a doctor in occasion for his physical health checkups,[4] but refused to go to a proper mental health counsellor and went to his church's pastoral counsellor instead.

Recently, he has put in an effort to improve in all fields, but nowhere near what is required to make him a fully functional human being.

Pseudoscience

Astrology

Chris has almost never spoken about astronomy, though he has talked about astronomy's retarded older sibling, astrology. Chris has for a long time told others about his (and his creation's) Zodiac signs, proving he has some belief in it. He has mentioned in an IRC chat that he reads his horoscope daily, and in his February 2012 Facebook Posts, posted in detail about his interpretation of his horoscope. In his OkCupid questionaire, he considered astrology to be a legitimate science.

Magic

Main article: Magical thinking

Chris has shown to have a belief in magic many times: the most notable example is the belief that he had the power to curse people.

Magic stones

Main article: Magic stones

A subset of his beliefs in magic, Chris has started purchasing and wearing various semi-precious stones which supposedly mentally calm and heal him. He also purchased a 80$ water bottle with some rocks in it which also help him accomplish the same.

Subliminal Frequency self-help audio

Main article: Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis

Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis videos are sets of audio on YouTube consisting of binaural beats, claiming to help listeners do things such as reduce body odor, turn a penis into a vagina, and make your ass fatter and stomach thinner without having to do any actual work - all of which are claims without any sort of real evidence to their effectiveness. Chris started watching these in 2016 in an attempt to speed up his gender transition. This culminated in Chris slicing his taint open because he believed that watching these videos caused a vagina to grow inside him. Despite risking his health from doing so, he continued to follow them, this time in an attempt to develop psychic powers. Of all the videos he's watched, only the ass fattening one has truly worked, and not through its own means.

Mathematics

I EXCELLED IN MATH TOO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Chris, on his Wikipedia page

Mathematics ("math" or "maths" for short) is the study of quantity, numbers, space, and change. As with many autistics, Chris displays a fascination with numbers, but despite his honor roll status, he has a weak grasp on the subject. There are countless examples of his mathematical errors, including errors of basic arithmetic, as well as quantity, measurement, weight, and time.

Chris has stated on at least one occasion that his math education goes all the way up to college Trigonometry, which shows that at some point he's also learned at least some college-level algebra and geometry, as they are both prerequisites to a typical trigonometry course. He has bragged to Julie about how he's "a pretty good math genius." He claims he received A's in his math classes. However, he hasn't used his supposed talent to his advantage by getting a job in a technical field.[5] On his Wikipedia page, he cited his mathematical talent as proof he should have received an award at graduation. In Mumble 2, he said he got into a car crash while doing math in his head.

Algebra

  • Planet Dolan artist VimHomless made a post joking about how butts are greater than water (written as "Butts > Water"), to which Chris took to mean, taking the greater than symbol (>) to mean less than (<), "Water is more important than butts".[6] Considering the post was made by a porn artist, and one which Chris follows no less, it is more than shocking to see that he couldn't have made this connection. Two days after that post was made, Chris made another response to 2D animator Spinalpalm, in which he says that salted butter is better than unsalted butter (written as Salted butter > Unsalted butter). This time around, Chris actually understood the underlying message, and agreed with Spinalpalm about the topic,[7] meaning that he must have figured out the meaning of the greater than symbol after several other users corrected him.

Arithmetic

  • CWCville's currency is made up of "C-quarters" and "W-quarters". According to the Sonichu canon, 10 C-quarters make up a single W-quarter, which makes no sense considering what the word "quarter" means.
  • When a clerk told Chris he was $2 short of affording his junk food, he was left dumbfounded as to what he should do. Another customer in line gave Chris $2 to make up the deficit, and instead of handing it to the clerk to pay off his debt, Chris simply took that money, the food, and left the store over everyone's protests.[8]
  • According to Chris, if he lived in Equestria, he'd be 1,050 years old, because one year on Equestria is equal to 30 Earth Years, while Night Star is 19 years old in human years, but 570 in pony years. [9] Because Chris has this fixation for his birthdate, he decided to give her the birth date, 24 February, 1982, which is apparently the year 967 in Pony Years. Only checking after he's made his statement, Chris did the math to confirm this. In a later Facebook post, Chris stated that 30 out of 365.25 Earth Days is equal to 11 Earth Days for each birthday, in reality, 30 ÷ 365.25 is approximately eight-hundreths. Even more pathetic is how he wrote the quotient as divided 30 by 365 instead of the other way around, and still got it wrong, as 365.25 ÷ 30 is equal to 12.175, which cannot be rounded down to 11. In his flawed math though, he had found that her actual birth date in Pony years should be 19 February, 939.
  • In Sonichu 10, the 4-cent_garbage.com tower collapses, with 1,500 people in it. According to Chris, 500 were "prefectly [sic] unharmed"; 250 were too drunk to escape on their own (125 of these drunk trolls managed to get out alive with help from sober trolls, while 125 of the drunk trolls were hurt, injured or killed); 125 sober trolls were hurt, injured or killed; 250 others were injured; 150 others were "safe but hurt"; and 100 were killed. Not only are we left in the dark about what happened to the 125 drunk troll casualties, this total also only accounts for 1,375 people.

Estimation/Measurement

  • When exercising by lifting two boxes of 12-pack lemonade, he estimated that the 4.26 liters of lemonade he was lifting weighed about 50 pounds, when in fact this volume of water weighs less than ten.
  • In the chair lifting video, Chris claimed the chair he was lifting weighed "a grand number of pounds."
  • Chris repeatedly claims to have D-cup breasts. In his breast massage video, Chris measures his chest and underbust as 44 and 40 inches respectively, and says that makes him a D cup. In reality, it makes him a B cup. Also, the conventional method for breast measurement does not work for trans women, mainly because of chest girth, so Chris is actually closer to an A cup.
  • In the famous Father Call, Chris seemed to believe a dog house made of plastic and wood weighed 5 to 10 tons (10,000-20,000 pounds), and was heavier than any tombstone (which tend to weigh an average of about 80 pounds). Essentially, Chris believes that plastic and wood would weigh more than solid stone.
  • After walking 8 miles to and from the post office, Chris vastly underestimated the entire journey to have only been 2 miles.
  • Chris has tried to describe a number of everyday things like love and respect using all kinds of scales and numbers. His most famous example, the Heart Level, measures his emotional state. Another example, the Scale of Respect is meant to be used to measure Chris' respect for certain individuals.
  • In one of Chris's early maps of CWCVille, the dimensions of its sectors/divisions are clearly out of scale. Even with Chris's reassurance that his CADD skills are at play, it's pretty easy for even a child to point out the errors in his judgement.
Making draftsmen and urban planners proud!
  • In Sonichu #1, Black Sonichu is supposed to spin-dash at 200 rotations per minute, which is supposed to mean that he does it at high speeds. This actually roughly translates to 3 per second.

Geometry

  • In one of his tirades towards the Xbox, Chris said that the angle of half a circle is 120º, then revised his claim to 130º.[10]

Number Systems

  • Chris's reports of how much Cherokee blood he has have been inconsistent. When he emailed Jackie, he stated he was 1/16 Cherokee, but he later told Regina that he was 1/32 Cherokee. Finally, when talking to Emily, he claimed Bob was at least one-fourth Cherokee, which would make Chris at least one-eighth Cherokee, not 1/16 or 1/32.
  • To avoid assigning an "unlucky number" to his Night Star comic, Chris decided to number the comic as Sonichu #12-9, using an em-dash in place a decimal point. This could make sense if it referred to the ninth part of the issue, but Chris clearly intends it as a fractional amount of "almost 13".

Statistics & Probability

  • Chris coined the term "Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor", the probability that a woman he is trying to latch onto isn't single, in which he claims that he doesn't hate only one 4 billionth of all males.

See also

References

Chris and...

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