Chris and science

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Chris showing off his scientific side with Dimensional Merge statistics written on a McDonald's napkin.

Science is blinding the systematic study of the natural world through observation and experimentation. Science can be divided into pure science, which studies natural phenomena, and applied science, which finds practical uses for said phenomena.

Chris has an on/off history with science – though it is mostly off. His view on science is utterly warped. He has lost touch with the times and thinks science is much more ahead in certain fields than it actually is, probably due to him getting all his information through fictional media. He has also mixed up real science, pseudoscience, and other things he has learned from media and enablers to create a very distorted view of nature.

His ego also causes him to reject scientific findings, such as when he rejected the fact that Asperger's syndrome and High functioning autism are one and the same.

Chris on science

Chris comes from a scientific background. Bob was a scientific man; he worked as a GE engineer for a large part of his life. He wanted Chris to be into science too, so he had set up a small workshop where he and young Chris would tinker around. Chris's paternal half-siblings both held STEM doctorates, and Chris himself has an Applied Science associate's degree in CADD. Alas, none of this got Chris deeply interested in science.

Chris has stated his opinions on science in his OkCupid questionaire. He said all types of science are interesting to him, though he finds conversations about science to be boring and annoying. He claims to put equal weight in science and faith and enjoys finding out how things work.

All these however should be taken with a grain of salt since he was ready to do anything (including lying) to obtain china. His actual views on pure science are probably low or non existant since he slept through high school. He may have a positive opinion on computer science due to him being hooked on computers since a very young age. Unsurprisingly Chris is not interested in engineering, all his engineering marvels are shitty duct tape and lego creations that a child could also make.

Pure science

Physics

There are multiple things that are horribly wrong in the Sonichu comics, including but not limited to the Laws of Physics. Documenting all of these would be impossible since each page of the comic has some law being broken.

All kinds of wacky things happen in the comics such as light behaving to the wishes of the Great Director Chandler.

Light behaving weirdly in Sonichu 8

Velocity and acceleration are random number generators, friction becomes fiction and hypothetical concepts such as parallel dimensions and portals are everyday occurences.

Portals in Sonichu 6

Normally these could be written off as science fiction. But Chris thinks all of this really happend, and can be considered as a critique of his scientific knowledge.

In real life, since Chris has no real powers, he has to play by the rules of physics. But he maintains an unbending belief in unproven concepts. Most of these beliefs can be traced back to fictional media he likes such as "Who framed Roger Rabbit" and "Futurama" for the multiple dimensions[1] and “Rick and Morty“ to prove that there are other people who can traverse dimensions[2].

Chemistry

Chris had two gal-pals as partners in his Chemistry lab. Not much else is known of his views on Chemistry, though he probably has low opinions about it due to the rote nature of chemistry and him being a lazy bum.

Biology

Main article: Biology

Chris's history with biology is well documented due to him torturing his body by ramming all sorts of things into holes where they don't belong while also torturing biologists by making ungodly anatomical drawings of electric hedgehog pokemon and shitty morphological drawings of humans.

Applied science

Computer science

Main article: Computers

Out of all the sciences, Chris is probably the best at computer science. Like most people born during or after the 1980s, he has been around computers since his childhood. He took some computer upgrade classes in PVCC, and he bragged to Kacey's dad that he's technologically inclined. He coded most of his websites by hand using text editors, as opposed to using purpose built HTML editors that do the heavy work for him.[3]He knows a bit about older computers like the Commodore 64 due to his age and nostalgia.

Engineering

Bob tried to get Chris interested in engineering since Chris was young - to no avail. Though Chris has made a few "inventions", such as a case for holding two Apple products, and a case for holding Pokémon cards.

Chris making Bob proud

The raw materials Chris uses are limited to Crayola Model Magic, Legos and duct tape. Due to his new interest in cosplaying, he has started making some accessories to go along with the costume. When he cosplayed as Kris from Pokemon Crystal for BronyCon 2019, he tried to make a Pokégear. Instead of using proper professional materials, he opted to use Crayola Model Magic.

Medicine

Main article: Chris and health

Medicine is a field of applied human biology which helps in keeping a person's health in check. Chris has incredibly poor mental, physical and social health.

Another problem he creates is by self medicating and relying on unlicensed people. He did go to a doctor in occasion for his physical health checkups[4] but refused to go to a proper mental health counsellor and went to his church's pastoral counsellor instead.

Recently, he has put in an effort to improve in all fields, but nowhere near what is required to make him a fully functional human being.

Pseudoscience

Astrology

Chris has almost never spoken about astronomy, though he has talked about astronomy's retarded older sibling, astrology. Chris has for a long time told others about his (and his creation's) Zodiac signs, proving he has some belief in it. He has mentioned in an IRC chat that he reads his horoscope daily, and in his February 2012 Facebook Posts, posted in detail about his interpretation of his horoscope. In his OkCupid questionaire, he considered astrology to be a legitimate science.

Magic

Main article: Magical thinking

Chris has shown to have a belief in magic many times: the most notable example is the belief that he had the power to curse people.

Magic stones

Main article: Magic stones

A subset of his beliefs in magic, Chris has started purchasing and wearing various semi-precious stones which supposedly mentally calm and heal him. He also purchased a 80$ water bottle with some rocks in it which also help him accomplish the same.

Subliminal Frequency self help audio

Main article: Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis

Subliminal Frequency Hypnosis videos are sets of audio on YouTube that claim to help listeners do things such as reduce body odor, turn a penis into a vagina, and make your ass fatter and stomach thinner without having to do any actual work. Chris started watching these in 2016 in an attempt to speed up his gender transition. This culminated in Chris slicing his taint open because he believed that watching these videos caused a vagina to grow inside him. Despite risking his health from doing so, he continued to follow them, this time in an attempt to develop psychic powers. It must also be noted that the ass fattening is working... though the reason for it is something else.

See also

References

  1. October 2018 social media posts#Merge ramblings part 3
  2. August 2018 social media posts#FLASH SALE
  3. “I also have good HTML education and experiences. I created the Original "CWC's Sonichu Site", as well as my past "CWC's Pok'eSite 2!" from raw HTML and PC Notepad scratch. Then I found Netscape Composer later on” - Jackie E-mails
  4. Kacey calls
Chris and...

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