IRC (28 December 2008)

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A combination fan and personal chat with Chris from 28 December 2008.

Chris briefly answers a few mundane questions from his fans (as delivered by BlueSpike) before settling into a "private" chat with his sweetheart PandaHalo.


In the fan-chat portion of the transcript, Chris reveals the unthinking nature of his religious faith ("I believe; I just do"), also notes that he believes in astrology, states that he would play himself opposite Britney Spears in a movie about his life, attempts to quash any accusations of pedoforkia by insisting that the Chaotic Combo's members are 19 years old, dodges a question about the collapse of his relationship with Megan Schroeder, and mentions that he got a copy of Bee Movie for Christmas. He also expresses his fear of seeking gainful employment in the outside world - if he were married, he says, he would be the "House Husband."

When PandaHalo arrives, the conversation takes a turn for the bizarre. Chris briefly mentions his pants-shitting problem (nearly a month before he would reveal its full magnitude in a chat with Clyde Cash) and spars with Panda over his curious unwillingness to have cyber sex with her. (Perhaps his duck was temporarily out of commission at the time.) He mentions that he's learned a great deal about how to relate to the world through Family Guy, and also cites the comedian Red Skelton as a role model for his attempts at social interaction. Naturally, there's a lot of whining about stress and online bullying as well.

Chris's mystic inclinations make an appearance in this chat. Asked why he wants a daughter so badly, he explains "It was fortold [sic] unto me in multiple dreams."

Panda appears to cope with Chris's idiocy by unleashing a series of profane, Tourette's-like outbursts. Chris is happy to accept her explanation when she says she is simply letting off steam with random bursts of vulgarity, and does not consider the implications when she says things like "FUCKING CUNT RETARD WITH AUTISM YOU FUCK SHIT DUMB CUNT DOG FUCKER."

Of particular note is Chris's comment at 21:35, in which he states that he hasn't "borrowed [his] mother's [bra and panties] for years." While it might be construed as a poor choice of words on Chris's part rather than a tacit admission of past cross dressing, the later interpretation seems much more likely in light of recent revelations

The Chat

21:08 <@canine> he needs to get his ass in here
21:08 <@canine> ffff
21:10 -!- Guest [] has joined #sonichu
21:10 -!- Guest is now known as Guest30498

21:10 <%BlueSpike> Hi, Chris.
21:10 -!- mode/#sonichu [+h Guest30498] by canine
21:10 -!- Guest30498 is now known as ChrisChanSonichu

21:10 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Hey.
21:10 -!- mode/#sonichu [+o ChrisChanSonichu] by canine
21:10 <%BlueSpike> I have questions for you, my friend.
21:11 <@ChrisChanSonichu> shoot.
21:11 <%BlueSpike> Maybe by the time we're done, Panda will be back.
21:11 <%BlueSpike> There are many, many paths to god--Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hindu, Shinto, et al. What path do you take, do believe it is the right path for you, and--most importantly--are you one to believe that what the Christian god said in the Bible is the only truth and only correct path to god? What about Christianity causes you to believe this?
21:13 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I was Baptized in a Christian Methodist Church; I believe; I just do.
21:13 <%BlueSpike> I see.
21:13 <@canine> oh, ok, that's respectable
21:13 <%BlueSpike> Next question.
21:13 <%BlueSpike> Speaking of Star Wars, which is better: Original Trilogy or Special Edition, and what's yourfavorite episode?
21:14 <@ChrisChanSonichu> Original; IV
21:14 <@canine> oh, that's mine too
21:14 <%BlueSpike> That's mine too.
21:14 <@canine> :)
21:14 <%BlueSpike> Please describe how your dream marriage would be. How would you support your wife and daughter? Who would clean and take care of the child? Who would pay the bills?
21:16 <@ChrisChanSonichu> in a nutshell, a simple, happy marriage; I would be the House Husband; I would open the oportunity to bring the bacon to my wife; me; I would manage the bills.
21:17 <@canine> oh, cool
21:17 <%BlueSpike> Before your MySpace account vanished, we noticed that you were into astrology (one of our own--a Virgo--is really into it, btw), going so far as to have a AstroStats widget on your profile. What do you think of astrology overall, and how much knowledge do you have on the subject?
21:17 <@ChrisChanSonichu> Astrology is okay; I read my horoscope daily, and a moderate amount.
21:17 <@canine> what is your sign?
21:17 <@ChrisChanSonichu> Piscies
21:18 <@canine> oh, me too
21:18 <%BlueSpike> Cool.
21:18 <%BlueSpike> Next question.
21:18 <@ChrisChanSonichu> February 24
21:18 <%BlueSpike> When are you going to create the second episode of Sonichu in LBP?
21:18 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I do not know; the inspiration for that has not come to me yet.
21:18 <%BlueSpike> I look forward to when the level is published.
21:19 <%BlueSpike> If the story of your life or Sonichu were made into a big Hollywood movie, what famous actor would play the role of yourself? What about any other actors/actresses that come to mind for other characters?
21:21 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I would play myself, as well as the voice of Sonichu; Britney Spears, Jim mind is blank.
21:21 <%BlueSpike> Cool!
21:21 <%BlueSpike> I hope someday that movie is made.
21:21 <@canine> sounds good
21:22 <%BlueSpike> Next question:
21:22 <%BlueSpike> What do you think your life would be like without Sonichu?
21:22 <@ChrisChanSonichu> for one thing, I may not have become internet famous, other than that IDK
21:23 -!- Irssi: #sonichu: Total of 21 nicks [4 ops, 1 halfops, 0 voices, 16 normal]
21:23 <%BlueSpike> Alright.
21:23 <%BlueSpike> Next question:
21:23 <%BlueSpike> What did you get for Christmas, Chris?
21:23 -!- Irssi: #sonichu: Total of 21 nicks [4 ops, 1 halfops, 0 voices, 16 normal]
21:24 <@ChrisChanSonichu> a couple of DVDs, Bee Movie on Blu-Ray, assorted chocolates and a calming family moment.
21:24 <%BlueSpike> Sounds like a great Christmas to me.
21:24 <@canine> oh, sounds like a good christmas
21:25 <@ChrisChanSonichu> it was simple; nothing extravagant.
21:25 <@canine> oh, sounds nice
21:25 <%BlueSpike> I'll BRB, Canine can ask the questions while I go to the gentleman's room.
21:25 -!- Pinwheel [] has joined #sonichu
21:25 <@canine> or, change it to: I know this is a tender subject, so feel free to pass on it, but, how did the ED page destroy the relationship between you and Megan Schroeder? What happened between you two? Are you still in touch?
21:25 <@canine> whoops, sorry
21:26 <@canine> copy and pasted that
21:26 <@canine> but, if it's a tender subject, feel free to pass
21:26 <@ChrisChanSonichu> yeah, pass.
21:26 <@canine> ok
21:26 <@canine> that's fine
21:26 <@canine> What would you do if your child was male? What would you name him?
21:26 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I'd let my future wife pick out HIS name.
21:26 <@canine> ah
21:27 <@canine> a fan asks: I have heard rumors that the Chaotic Combo are around the age of 4. Is this true?
21:27 <@ChrisChanSonichu> NO
21:27 <@canine> oh, ok
21:27 <@ChrisChanSonichu> they're currently at about 19.
21:27 <@ChrisChanSonichu> each
21:27 <@canine> ah, i see
21:28 <@canine> care to elaborate?
21:28 <@PandaHalo> Hi Chris
21:28 <@ChrisChanSonichu> Hey, Panda.
21:28 <@canine> oh, panda is back
21:28 <@ChrisChanSonichu> :)
21:28 <%BlueSpike> I guess you two are gonna private chat, now?
21:29 <@ChrisChanSonichu> it would be nice.
21:29 <@canine> ok
21:29 <%BlueSpike> Okay.
21:29 * canine leaves #sonichu
21:29 * BlueSpike leaves #sonichu

21:29 <@ChrisChanSonichu> Are we in private?
21:30 -!- Irssi: #sonichu: Total of 22 nicks [4 ops, 1 halfops, 0 voices, 17 normal]
21:30 <@ChrisChanSonichu> Hey, Sarah. how are things?
21:30 <@PandaHalo> im not sure i cant tell
21:30 <@PandaHalo> things a good
21:30 <@PandaHalo> i have period pain right now
21:30 <@PandaHalo> it hurts
21:30 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I hear that.
21:31 <@PandaHalo> hmmm
21:31 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I get my emotional periods sometimes as well.
21:31 <@PandaHalo> ahhhh yeah it sucks. Do you wear pads or tampons?
21:31 <@ChrisChanSonichu> lol
21:31 <@PandaHalo> heheh
21:31 <@PandaHalo> do you ever fart, but you're unsure if it's going to be a fart or a poop, and sometimes a little poop comes out and then you have to change your underwear?
21:32 <@ChrisChanSonichu> yeah.
21:32 <@ChrisChanSonichu> but sometimes, I can be sure beforehand.
21:32 <@PandaHalo> ahhhh
21:32 <@PandaHalo> does it happen to you often?
21:32 <@ChrisChanSonichu> not often.
21:32 <@PandaHalo> when you cant tell?
21:32 <@PandaHalo> ahhh
21:33 <@PandaHalo> you know what you could try?
21:33 <@ChrisChanSonichu> what?
21:33 <@PandaHalo>
21:33 <@ChrisChanSonichu> NO.
21:33 <@PandaHalo> oh okay
21:33 <@PandaHalo> i thought you might find them comfertable since you like wearing womens underwear
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21:34 -!- mode/#sonichu [+o clydeC] by ChanServ

21:34 <@PandaHalo> speaking of which.. why dont you try just buying your own womens underwear instead of borrowing your moms?
21:35 <@ChrisChanSonichu> FYI, I have not borrowed my mother's for years.
21:35 <@PandaHalo> oh sorry i didnt know that. I assumed you had because of that picture of you in her bra and panties
21:35 <@ChrisChanSonichu> let's not talk panty-talk anymore for now.
21:35 <@PandaHalo> im sorry
21:35 <@ChrisChanSonichu> oh, yeah; for that I did.
21:35 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I forgot about that.
21:35 <@PandaHalo> ahhhh
21:36 -!- DeBauchery [] has joined #sonichu
21:36 <@PandaHalo> you dont think that is hot? :o
21:36 -!- Irssi: #sonichu: Total of 24 nicks [5 ops, 1 halfops, 0 voices, 18 normal]
21:37 <@ChrisChanSonichu> yeah, it's not.
21:37 <@PandaHalo> ah okay
21:37 <@ChrisChanSonichu> did you get your degree?
21:38 <@ChrisChanSonichu> from your University.
21:38 <@PandaHalo> not yet.. next month i think
21:38 -!- clydeC [] has quit []
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21:38 <@ChrisChanSonichu> okay, good. :)
21:38 <@PandaHalo> why do you want a daughter so bad?
21:39 <@ChrisChanSonichu> It was fortold unto me in multiple dreams.
21:39 <@PandaHalo> oh
21:39 -!- Irssi: #sonichu: Total of 24 nicks [4 ops, 1 halfops, 0 voices, 19 normal]
21:39 <@ChrisChanSonichu> have you started work in the stables yet?
21:40 <@PandaHalo> sorry i just had a bit of a train moment there
21:40 <@PandaHalo> yes i have
21:40 <@ChrisChanSonichu> how do you feel about it so far?
21:41 <@PandaHalo> i love it
21:41 <@PandaHalo> im having a blast
21:41 <@PandaHalo> im thinking about delaying my trip to the states for a year to work there a bit more
21:41 <@ChrisChanSonichu> no, do not delay, PLEASE.
21:42 <@ChrisChanSonichu> June is long enough for me to wait for you.
21:42 <@PandaHalo> why dont you come here then?
21:42 <@ChrisChanSonichu> it's expensive.
21:42 <@PandaHalo> oh
21:43 <@PandaHalo> why not use your tugboat then?
21:43 <@ChrisChanSonichu> plus it's a looooooooong way from my home.
21:43 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I pay my bills out of that.
21:43 <@PandaHalo> well america is a long way from my home, and expensive for me
21:43 <@PandaHalo> it just seem like things are very one way here christian weston chandler :(
21:43 <@PandaHalo> robert simmons visited me :(
21:44 <@PandaHalo> but you wont
21:44 <@PandaHalo> maybe he loves me more :(
21:44 <@ChrisChanSonichu> plus, it's got to be like a thoushand dollars to fly there from here.
21:44 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I would love to fly there if I could.
21:44 <@PandaHalo> your checks.
21:44 <@PandaHalo> fucking checks. polly.
21:44 <@ChrisChanSonichu> ?
21:44 <@PandaHalo> final fantasy viii.
21:45 <@ChrisChanSonichu> oh.
21:45 <@PandaHalo> chooooooo chooooooooooo
21:45 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I don't play much Final Fantasy.
21:45 <@ChrisChanSonichu> seriously, if I could, I would fly there to visit or be with you.
21:46 <@PandaHalo> chugga chugga chugga cchugga chooooooo chooooooooo
21:46 <@PandaHalo> what baout if i get placed at a school that isnt in virginia
21:46 <@PandaHalo> would you go interstate to visitme
21:46 <@ChrisChanSonichu> yes.
21:47 <@ChrisChanSonichu> but I hope you get placed in Virginia.
21:47 <@ChrisChanSonichu> *do get placed
21:47 <@PandaHalo> if i was in new york, how would you get there?
21:47 <@ChrisChanSonichu> IDK, I guess I'd drive or fly.
21:48 <@PandaHalo> ah
21:48 <@PandaHalo> what would you b ring with you
21:48 <@ChrisChanSonichu> for my stay there?
21:48 <@PandaHalo> yes
21:49 <@ChrisChanSonichu> a bunch of clothes, my PS3 and PSP, and other bare essentials.
21:50 <@PandaHalo> ahhh
21:50 <@ChrisChanSonichu> maybe something for you as well. :)
21:50 <@PandaHalo> hey do you want to have cyber sex?
21:50 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I don't feel up to it right now.
21:50 <@PandaHalo> can't you get it up?
21:51 <@PandaHalo> i'll leave you if you dont :(
21:51 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I have a bit of a headache right now from previous stress.
21:51 <@PandaHalo> what stress?
21:51 <@PandaHalo> it must be hard not having a job
21:51 <@ChrisChanSonichu> from the previous week.
21:51 <@ChrisChanSonichu> a lot of things.
21:51 <@PandaHalo> stress from the prospect of gay sex? :(
21:51 <@ChrisChanSonichu> NO
21:52 <@ChrisChanSonichu> and that does turn me OFF.
21:52 <@PandaHalo> well if you dont have cyber sex with me, i will get it from robert simmons
21:52 <@PandaHalo> at least he loves me enough to do that for me
21:53 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I'm sorry. if you honestly want to do it with Bob, I won't stop you.
21:53 <@PandaHalo> really
21:53 <@PandaHalo> okay then
21:53 <@PandaHalo> i will
21:53 <@ChrisChanSonichu> are you angry?
21:53 <@ChrisChanSonichu> with me?
21:54 <@PandaHalo> yes
21:54 <@ChrisChanSonichu> *at me?
21:54 <@PandaHalo> yes i am
21:54 <@ChrisChanSonichu> why?
21:54 <@PandaHalo> because you dont love me enough to cyber with me
21:54 <@PandaHalo> yet you bitched at me earlier
21:54 <@PandaHalo> saying how you didnt want a girlfriend who didnt have sex
21:54 <@PandaHalo> yet you cant even type a few words
21:54 <@PandaHalo> WHAT THE FUCK CHRIS
21:55 <@PandaHalo> im just angry because i have my period and a little hurt
21:55 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I hear you.
21:55 <@ChrisChanSonichu> and I'm sorry.
21:56 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I thought of you while I mass debated last night; had you on top of me.
21:56 <@ChrisChanSonichu> it felt good.
21:56 <@PandaHalo> i mass debated over you wearing diapers but you're not into that fetish so oh well i can still dream
21:57 <@PandaHalo> its a normal fetish though
21:57 <@PandaHalo> but oh well
21:57 <@ChrisChanSonichu> hey, I am still willing to do it with a female collie in front of you.
21:57 <@PandaHalo> ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
21:58 <@PandaHalo> yeah because wearing diapars is worse than fucking a dog i understand
21:58 <@PandaHalo> sooooooooooo
21:58 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I only feel less comfortable wearing diapers.
21:58 <@PandaHalo> yeah i get it
21:58 <@PandaHalo> how is your dang autism block going?
21:58 <@ChrisChanSonichu> please do not take it personally.
21:59 <@PandaHalo> is it blocking much stuff atm? besides cock blocking? and everything else?
21:59 -!- Chuppa [] has joined #sonichu
22:00 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I understand how your period is making you feel enraged at the moment, and I understand that you have to let it out somewhere. so I take your bullets of rage with stride.
22:00 <@PandaHalo> thank you
22:00 <@PandaHalo> sometimes during my period it feels like i have tetris syndrom
22:01 <@PandaHalo> thats wear people SWEAR A FUCKING LTO FUCK SHIT CUTN FUCKERRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrr
22:01 -!- Peekay [~Layotashi@563B325D.327323D3.57082762.IP] has joined #sonichu
22:01 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I've played Tetris a LOT in my lifetime; cleared way over a thousand lines.
22:02 <@ChrisChanSonichu> but I understand what you're talking about.
22:02 <@PandaHalo> you make me feel better
22:02 <@ChrisChanSonichu> that's good.
22:02 <@ChrisChanSonichu> :)
22:02 <@PandaHalo> it feels nice to shout
22:02 <@PandaHalo> and let things out
22:02 <@PandaHalo> thanks for listening chris
22:02 <@PandaHalo> it helps with the pain
22:03 <@PandaHalo> Menstruate sounds like Masturbate
22:03 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I'm your two journals; my right ear and my left; fire away.
22:03 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I got that from the "New Brian" episode of Family Guy.
22:03 <@PandaHalo> ohhh
22:03 <@PandaHalo> how much of your in real life skills have you picked up from family guy?
22:04 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I pick up many of my RL skills from Various Places, on TV and off.
22:04 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I've also learned from Red Skelton.
22:04 -!- Guest [~Guest@39638794.B1F4FD9C.81FE7B82.IP] has joined #sonichu
22:05 <@ChrisChanSonichu> Red was a good human being.
22:05 -!- Guest is now known as Guest18089
22:05 <@PandaHalo> yes
22:05 <@PandaHalo> what did u learn from red sketlon
22:05 <@ChrisChanSonichu> how to be a more hospitable gentleman for one thing.
22:05 <@PandaHalo> that is nice
22:06 <@PandaHalo> what else?
22:06 <@ChrisChanSonichu> how to speak with a softer tone of voice in pleasant conversation.
22:06 <@ChrisChanSonichu> and some fun jokes as well.
22:06 <@PandaHalo> oh
22:06 <@PandaHalo> can you please make a new youtube video?
22:07 <@PandaHalo> please?
22:07 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I would, but I don't know have an inspiration for the subject of it yet.
22:07 <@ChrisChanSonichu> when I get the inspiration, I will make the video.
22:07 <@ChrisChanSonichu> Inspiration does not have a schedule.
22:08 <@PandaHalo> chris you're going to lose fans :(
22:09 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I hear that, and I promise to have the new comic up very soon.
22:10 <@PandaHalo> just make a short video really quick?
22:10 <@PandaHalo> talking about how your xmas went?
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22:10 <@ChrisChanSonichu> it's not like I asked to be famous without having to leave my home, but it all just fell into my lap, and I guess the stress of all that popular weight weighs heavily on my emotions.
22:10 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I may.
22:10 -!- Guest is now known as Guest8445
22:11 <@ChrisChanSonichu> and with that heavy weight, it may have hindered my inspirations.
22:11 <@ChrisChanSonichu> and the hate on the internet contributed to that as well.
22:11 <@ChrisChanSonichu> it's a LOT to deal with daily.
22:12 <@ChrisChanSonichu> even JUST THINKING ABOUT IT, without having to look at it on my screen...
22:12 <@PandaHalo> must suck being infamous
22:12 <@ChrisChanSonichu> or even when I don't have to think about it, I know it's out there, and I have to deal with that stress on my head.
22:13 <@ChrisChanSonichu> 50/50
22:13 <@PandaHalo> yeah
22:13 <@PandaHalo> well why are you trying to make sonichu more famous?
22:13 <@PandaHalo> your fans gave you $400
22:13 <@PandaHalo> you owe them.
22:14 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I don't know; random inspiration upon influence, peer pressure.
22:14 <@ChrisChanSonichu> 400 dollars?
22:15 -!- Guest8445 [~Guest@39638794.B1F4FD9C.81FE7B82.IP] has quit []
22:15 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I did not know about that; I have not personally received a cent of that if they offered it.
22:16 <@ChrisChanSonichu> must have been that dang Jimmy Hill and those Impostors.
22:16 <@ChrisChanSonichu> in any case,
22:16 -!- Guest [~Guest@39638794.B1F4FD9C.81FE7B82.IP] has joined #sonichu
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22:17 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I understand and I hear my fanbase, yet that also contributes to my stress I guess; more pressure.
22:17 <@PandaHalo> Well do it
22:17 <@PandaHalo> just do it
22:17 <@PandaHalo> and the $400 from that guitar hero contest
22:17 <@ChrisChanSonichu> you are right.
22:17 <@PandaHalo> they all voted for you
22:17 <@ChrisChanSonichu> OH, that 400.
22:18 <@ChrisChanSonichu> you ARE RIGHT.
22:18 <@PandaHalo> and the fans i spoke to were REALLY hurt you never made a video thanking them
22:18 <@PandaHalo> and a lot vowed to never vote again for you :(
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22:18 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I will make a video of my gratitude soon,
22:19 <@ChrisChanSonichu> and I did make a not of my gratitude on
22:19 <@ChrisChanSonichu> *note
22:19 <@PandaHalo> but no video :(
22:19 <@ChrisChanSonichu> okay, I will make a video tonight.
22:19 <@ChrisChanSonichu> and I'll upload it tomorrow.
22:20 <@PandaHalo> thank you
22:20 <@PandaHalo> i appreciate that
22:20 <@PandaHalo> did you hear about ryan cash?
22:21 <@ChrisChanSonichu> yeah, don't remind me of Ryan; suicide over my brief moment proclimation of stopping Sonichu in response to the hate; it hurt me emotionally. That was worse than that child locking himself in the closet after watching Optimus Prime die in the Original Transformers Movie.
22:22 <@PandaHalo> of course it was worse.. he died
22:22 <@ChrisChanSonichu> yeah.
22:22 <@PandaHalo> you should mention ryan in your video
22:22 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I will.
22:22 <@PandaHalo> make a tribute to him or something
22:22 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I will.
22:23 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I'll go now to work on that.
22:23 <@PandaHalo> okay :)
22:23 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I'll talk to you later.
22:23 <@ChrisChanSonichu> I Love You, Sarah.
22:23 <@PandaHalo> bye christian weston chandler
22:23 -!- ChrisChanSonichu [] has quit [Quit: ChrisChanSonichu]
22:23 <%BlueSpike> FAGGORT
22:23 -!- mode/#sonichu [-m] by canine

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