Kacey Call 23

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  • Chris has given up on his job at Target - he never received a phone call back.
  • Chris is simply ignoring e-mails based on their subjects.
  • Chris defeated a troll trying to gain access to his copyright for Sonichu.
  • Kacey pushes Chris to stop ignoring Clyde Cash, "just in case he tries something."
  • Chris says that Clyde and Gregg Mays are the same person and they don't exist because he won't "show his face or identity or anything."
  • Chris says that Clyde Cash is AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL STUDENT!. He admits several times that he thinks it's possible a "six to eleven year old" is smarter than him.
  • Kacey calls Chris "slow in the mind;" Chris tells her she's "pushin' buttons."
  • Chris says that Clyde's voice is high pitched and whiny. Oh boy.
  • Chris spends like three minutes trying to do an impression of Clyde and it ends up just sounding exactly like Chris's normal voice except a bit deeper. He tries several times, and each attempt sounds the exact same.
  • Chris explains how Panda was raped by Clyde, and he just ignored it. Kacey mentions that rape is serious and shouldn't be ignored - Chris completely ignores this, and goes on to talk about how she died in a brush fire.
  • Kacey tells Chris to recruit trolls to help take down Clyde. Chris says he is going to go to ED and dox Clyde, entirely expecting Clyde to have just openly posted all his personal info on the ED forums for all to see.
  • Chris attempts a Donald Duck impression. It sounds like complete shit and nothing like Donald Duck.
  • Chris says he actually thinks his regular voice sounds like Frank Sinatra.


Kacey Call 23
Stardate ???
Featuring Chris; Kacey
Saga LiquidLiquid Liquid Saga
Audio Recordings
Kacey Call 22
Kacey Call 24

Kacey: Hey Chris! It's Kacey, what's up?

Chris: Hey Kacey. I'm doin' OK, how are you?

Kacey: I'm good. Just busy. You know, work's keeping me late.

Chris: Yeah, I understand, and you know, 'cause, you know, you can call us and I saw in the store[?] you were busy.

Kacey: Yeah, I've got a lot of projects and I'm kinda behind in school and I want to NOT be behind, you know. Um. So how have things been for you?

Chris: I've been doing fair... I mean, you know, things could be better if I didn't have to worry about the trolls, but...you know...

Kacey: What are they doing?

Chris: Oh, just trying to get on my nerves... but lately I've been, uh, handling the situation much better. I don't even bother to open their e-mails. So I just expand on the e- on the sender's address and then add them to my block list.

Kacey: Oh, that's good! That's good.

Chris: Yeah, well, let's see, aside from that, um... Yeah, I've been, I've been, been... I've been pushing myself a little further, jogging a little bit longer.

Kacey: [coughs] That's good.

Chris: And, uh... And I still haven't heard back from Target, so that's probably a no-go, but the other thing is a new CVS in Ruckersville and I'll probably apply to that.

Kacey: Oh you should! I mean, I wouldn't give up on it, though. So, um, how is your copyright coming?

Chris: Oh... Yeah, I have, I've called the copyright office and I, uh, I got back access to my account and, ah, it's all good. The copyright is mine.

Kacey: Oh! Well that... that's awesome.

Chris: Yeah, I mean, like, yeah, I read somethin' on the internet about this, ah, about this image that, uh, Gregg May-, uh, Gregg Mays slash Clyde Cash, you know, that like, he, uh, it's about like, this, uh, this image about like, supposedly about him having the copyright, but that document is false. I think-

Kacey: [interrupting, talking right over Chris the whole time which he doesn't even seem to notice] Well, yeah, because obviously you have the papers now, right?

Chris: I don't have the papers yet, I-

Kacey: [interrupting] Well then how do you know it's yours?

Chris: [pause] Beca-, because I called the copyright office and t-

Kacey: [interrupting] Well, it's not going to help until you actually have the papers. You need proof. It's like saying you have a diploma but you don't have a diploma with you. I mean, you're gonna have to get those papers.

Chris: Yeah, I mean, I know, I won't get the, uh, document for... for a few more weeks.

Kacey: They should send them right away. You should ask them to rush it. I mean, I know they'll do it... if it's really yours.

Chris: [long pause] Hm.

Kacey: Especially since it's...

Chris: [interrupting] Y-yeah, yeah, yeah, y-yeah, I, yeah, I, I asked them if they could rush it but, uh, they said no, they couldn't, they have to do it at their own timely pace. So, I was like, you know, I didn't ar-, argue. I didn't want to argue with them.

Kacey: Well, I mean, this troll could do a lot of damage, you need to rush it. I mean, I've seen these things take months, really, but... I mean, if you say so.

Chris: Yeah. Don't worry about it. It's--, don't worry about that. It's a-, it's all good. I'm still working on the comic pages.

Kacey: Well, I know there's one thing you aren't working on, because I saw your video. Your room looks like it got messier. I thought you said you were going to work on taking things down and doing that for me.

Chris: [sigh] Well, that's only the, uh, one side of the room, and... you saw that side of the room in the last picture, a-

Kacey: [interrupting] Well, you haven't given me any more pictures like you promised me or anything, and I mean it looks... bad.

Chris: ...Yeah, well, I'll-

Kacey: I mean, you... you said that you were going to get this done like weeks ago. And... it's not even halfway done.

Chris: It is mostly done, believe me. I'll send you some pictures tomorrow, OK?

Kacey: OK. I hope that they're promising.

Chris: Yeah. [sounding annoyed] They are, OK? They are. Yeah, well, aside from that, anything going on with you, lately?

Kacey: Um... no, I've just been going to class and everything. I've been trying to hang out with my friends more, get a little more social because I just feel, you know, totally overwhelmed. Um, I'm pretty much doing what you're doing and ignoring all the trolls an-... you know, just not really caring. They're not worth my time.

Chris: Yeah. I hear that. I hear that. Anyway. My plans for tomorrow are go to class. I've got another yoga class tomorrow.

Kacey: Oh, OK.

Chris: I'm not sure I pronounced that right.

Kacey: [talking over Chris] But I mean, like... you really don't read the e-mails at all? I mean, sometimes I do just, you know, for a good laugh. And I mean, sometimes, you know, I am paranoid that... you know, because these people, they mean business. I am kind of worried that sometimes I'll miss something, and they'll actually do something. I mean, I don't wanna ignore problems, either.

Chris: It's like, you know, can pretty much judge what they're gonna say in the e-mail, but, by reading subjects. [pause] And like, you know, if the subject just is like, you know, don't really... don't really care about that stuff. Yeah, so I just assum-, leave that closed.

Kacey: Well, I know, but, Cameron and I talked about how you need to take your problems head on. Like, I told you, you don't need to really let them get to you, but you can't ignore them outright totally, either.

Chris: Yeah... I, I, that's what I do mostly. After they realize they can call Gregg Mays or Clyde Cash out, you know, because he's sent one identity of Clyde Cash, and assumed the identity of Gregg Mays, and you know, neither of them were, neither of them were, neither of them really existed, really.

Kacey: How do you know that?

Chris: Well, I know it's the same person. Assuming different identities, and both of them are obviously fake, I mean-

Kacey: [interrupting] Well then, what's his real name?

Chris: Wha- He's never actually showed hims-, he's never actually showed... his face or his identity or anything-

Kacey: [interrupting] Well... most people don't do that, but I mean, if you had his real name you could force him to apologize. I mean, turn the tables on him.

Chris: Yeah, well, I... that's why... the one thing I don't have is real name. So I can't really do that, now can I? But still, I call him out, I, I, I challenged him...

Kacey: [interrupting] Well, do some research. I mean, you can at least try.

Chris: I did try, I... I searched the names Gregg Mays and Clyde Cash and I didn't get much.

Kacey: Well, I mean, I don't know how much research you are going to do because, uh, Kim and I were... talking about this, you know, and, she was saying how, um... you haven't read the entirety of the ED page, yet you say it's all lies and slanders... and then you turn around and say that there is truth to it. I mean...

Chris: Yeah... yeah, I talked to Kim about that and I'm planning on... and I'm reading on... through the, uh, texts, on-, only the texts on the ED page. And I'm... I'm gonna print them out and I'm gonna add them, and then, so I can, so I can sort out the, uh, facts from the fiction.

Kacey: Right. Well, maybe you should look more closely at these e-mails. Especially, I mean, if this guy has been bothering you so much that he seems to be able to get to you, and he has connections, you should probably, um, make sure. I mean, maybe he made a mistake. Maybe... he... left a clue to his identity. If he's hacked you before maybe you should totally like, at least listen to him.

Chris: Yeah, I tried that, I m-

Kacey: [interrupting] Well, I mean if you just ignore him, what if he does something way bigger?

Chris: Yeah, I mean... yeah, you know, I don't know if I've told you, but, you know, when he, when he, first time he hacked into my Playstation Network account, a couple of d-, a few weeks ago, a couple weeks ago... I got an address, but it turned out to be an elementary school in, I think it was... Kentucky.

Kacey: Well, maybe he works there!

Chris: Or maybe he's a student there.

Kacey: An elementary school. You're telling me you were fooled by an elementary school student over and over again?

Chris: Mm...it's a possibility.

Kacey: Maybe he's a teacher! You really think that an elementary schooler has gotten the best of you? Over and over?

Chris: [short pause] ...Yeah.

Kacey: I think he's probably a teacher. [laughs] Because if not, you're telling me that some six-year-old... to... eleven-year-old has outsmarted you when you're twenty-seven, several times. Think... think about that.

Chris: Yeah, I mean, I have considered that.

Kacey: I mean, how does that make you feel? This... little... kid that hasn't even hit puberty can outsmart you so many times.

Chris: Well, I'll admit that... [sigh]

Kacey: Talk about slow in the mind, right?

Chris: [sigh] OK. OK. Kacey, please stop, you're pressin' a few, you're pressin' a few buttons, here.

Kacey: Well, Chris! This is ludicrous. You're trying to tell me that you think some young kid is doing this. [coughs] I mean have.. have you... you said in the video that you heard him. What does he sound like?

Chris: Yeah, he sounds like... I think he sounds, I thinks he sounds more like... more like an adult. He's got kind of a high pitched tone but he sounds strong. Kinda whiny.

Kacey: Well, can you imitate him for me? Since you're good with voices?

Chris: ...Let me think a moment... um... [pause] Ahh... [starts talking very drawn out and deeper] I'm trying... to... see if I can... find the voice [voice goes deeper] by deepening my voice to the appropriate levels... no... [mumbling and humming for about 20 seconds] I thiiiink I'm getting there but I'm not really... [voice spikes] suuuure... If I knew a man from Nantucket who... [voice returns to normal] I'm just saying words here until I find the right tone.

Kacey: Go ahead.

Chris: [voice goes deeper again] If I knew a man from Nantucket [voice returns to normal] I would know what his voice 'cause I would have heard it a few times before and I'm not really sure until I find the right pitch. And when that happens I would tell it to you right away. Ahh... Ahh... I think I'm nearly there. Aaa-ahhh... Kinda sounds like... I think I'm just about hitting it. Um... yeah. [voice doesn't change at all, identical to his regular voice a little deeper] I think he sounds kinda like this, I'm not really sure. I think this sounds real right, I'm not... I'd have to hear it again. This is pretty close, I think.

Kacey: Say something one more time.

Chris: I think I hit the note. Abouuut...

Kacey: Because... all I really heard was you. You made him sound like you, but lower pitched. That... doesn't sound higher pitched.

Chris: Yeah, I think he sounds kinda like, uh... [trying to impersonate Clyde - again, sounds identical to himself but a little deeper, speaking very, very rapidly] Hey Chris, how ya doin'? Hey Chris, how ya doin'? Hey Chris, how ya doin'? Hey Chris, what'er you doin'? Hey Chris, what'er you doin'? Hey Chris, what'er you doin'? Chris, what are you doin', man, I...

Kacey: Well, I mean, you have a really high pitched voice too, and you're making him lower pitched, so...

Chris: I'm trying to find it...

Kacey: OK. OK. I'll be patient.

Chris: Yeah, I'm trying to find it... um... [attempting to alter his voice, yet again] If I knew the sound of the voice, I would get there. But I've heard it a number of times before. Ummmmhhhhhaaaaaa... yeah, I think I've just about got it... duuuhhhaaahhhh... Hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris, hey Chris. Heeeeyyyyy Chris, hey Chris, h-hey... I thi- I think I got it. I think... yeah, I think I got it, this is what he sounds like right here. [Chris's voice has not changed at all, sounds exactly like himself.] Listen to me right here, this is what he sounds like. Hey Chris, he-

Kacey: [interrupts, talks over Chris] So he sounds like you with a cold. Got it. [laughs]

Chris: Hm. Yeah. That sounds about right. ...Good guess. Yeah.

Kacey:[pause] ...Oookay.

Chris: Like me with a cold... Heh...

Kacey: Yeah!

Chris: I like that. That's a fun comparison. [laughs, clearly forcing it] Huh huh huh. Huh huh huh. Ahh... that's fun. [pause] I mean, if he... heh, you know, that's... I never thought of that before.

Kacey: [giggles] Well, you know, he seems like he means business, so, you know, I'd at least keep my eye on him. I mean, what else has he done? I mean, I'm sure he's done more.

Chris: Well, let's see, I think I told you about the time he flew... about the time he said he flew to Australia and raped my Australian gal-pal and impregnated her...

Kacey: [pause] Oh. He... he did?

Chris: Supposedly, yeah, but I'm not the latest in that, because you know... so many multiple identities. Like...

Kacey: OK, just 'cause he's assuming multiple identities doesn't mean it didn't happen. I mean, that would be horrible for you to ignore someone being raped like that, Chris...

Chris: Yeah, I know. It was hard for me to ignore.

Kacey: Well, you shouldn't have ignored it. Rape isn't something that should be ignored. I mean, she got raped, right?

Chris: It happened... yeah, it did happen about last December or January.

Kacey: Oh my gosh.

Chris: Yeah, but anyway... but anyway, so, last time I heard it that poor girl got burned to death... got burned, got burned to death and died in that brush fire, so... in Australia that January.

Kacey: That's horrible. So she got raped and then died?

Chris: Yeah. I... I know, I was broken up by it too, I mean, I miss her.

Kacey: Oh my gosh. I mean, OK. This guy really seems like he means business.

Chris: [pause] Yeah, well. It may or may not... it may, uh, it may just be... I mean, he may actually just sound like he means business, but... he may not actually have the business. I mean, you know, he may not actually have the skills to pay the bills, with that expression.

Kacey: But, I mean, he has hacked your stuff before, I mean, how can you say that? I mean, apparently he's got some skills.

Chris: I, yeah... I mean, aside from trying to find a multiple identity and not finding much, I don't know that much about him.

Kacey: Well, if he could hide himself that well, he could probably take himself off stuff like that. I mean, especially if it's just Google.

Chris: Hm. Yeah. He could take himself off?

Kacey: It's really easy to get yourself off... taken away from, you know, like, web searches and all that.

Chris: Hm. Yeah.

Kacey: I mean, maybe you should ask your fans to help find him.

Chris: Yeah, I, I, I, I-

Kacey: You know, maybe you can reform some trolls. Maybe they'll betray him. Maybe he's such a jerk, they don't like him either.

Chris: Hmm... Bring in the trolls to try helping take down this troll?

Kacey: I mean, they are trolls. They do do that. I mean, you've gotta use everything in your power, Chris.

Chris: Hm. Yeah. Alright, well, fortunately, I do have... I do know about the Encyclopedia Dramatica forums page, I do know that... I have it bookmarked. I could look in there, see if I could find some information about, ah... about the guy.

Kacey: It's a good start. Maybe.

Chris: Yeah. But, you know, Kim's helping me as well. She's doing searches on her own, her part.

Kacey: But I mean, how do you know Clyde even goes there?

Chris: What, to the elementary school in Kentucky?

Kacey: No, no, no, to the ED forums.

Chris: Wh-...It's a possibility. They do talk about him on there. Among all the other, among all the other things, and around... around, and involving me.

Kacey: Right.

Chris: Yeah. [sigh] I feel all worn out after tryin' to find that... find that pic-, find that pitch where he sounds like...

Kacey: [chuckles] Well it happens...

Chris: ...like me with a cold, heh...

Kacey: Yeah, exactly. You with a cold...

Chris: Yeah, heh...That was almost as hard as trying to find the, uh...find the...imitate Donald Duck for the first time.

Kacey: [chuckle]

Chris: Took me a while, but I eventually got it. [attempts imitating Donald Duck, sounds NOTHING like it] Whoob, whoob, whoob! Whacka, wahh wahh! Donald Duck! [quacking]

Kacey: ...Yep.

Chris: Did you get that?

Kacey: Yeah. I got it. [laughs]

Chris: Yeah.

Kacey: Yeah. It does take practice.

Chris: Yeah. It does take practice. At least by default, I almost sound like Frank Sinatra.

Kacey: [laughs]

Chris: I do, seriously, I mean... you've heard Frank Sinatra, haven't you?

Kacey: Of course I have.

Chris: Yeah, well, you know he's got, like... the singing voice on the side, on the uh... with the high pitched... somewhere along with his deep tones. At least he has the... at least he has the power and the practice to balance between it and make good-sounding tones for when he's playing his tracks.

Kacey: Yeah.

Chris: Yep. Makes me think a little further, though. How I could sing a little better. Huh. [sighs] Anyw-, anyway... pfew, I'm a little tired right now. If it's OK, I'm gonna go ahead and let you go, and I'll talk to you tomorrow night.

Kacey: OK, I shouldn't be at work too late tomorrow, so I should... I'll call you tomorrow.

Chris: Alright. You take care and be safe.

Kacey: OK, you too. Alright. Bye.

Chris: Bye. Bye-bye.

[Call ends]

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