Car Pranks

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On 2 August 2009, a troll posted Chris's '94 Ford Escort for sale on Craigslist as part of a prank. A handful of trolls then contacted Chris, expressing interest in purchasing his car and offering their HEXBoxes to sweeten the deal. Apparently, autistics don't know a good deal when they are given one, and Chris rejected all offers, no matter how innocent, with either rage or his super-egotism.

The voicemail greeting on Chris's cellphone also appears in the recording. In it he states that he will not take part in any interviews or documentaries under the advice of his "publicist and lawyers". He also tosses a warning at any trolls who might be calling. It is not known when Chris recorded this greeting.

These calls also include the voices of two important christorical figures, BlueSpike and Jack Thaddeus. The former is especially surprising, considering BlueSpike was kicked out of the Miscreants for his cruelty and most would expect for him to not return to trolling out of remorse.


Car Pranks
Stardate 2 August 2009
Featuring Chris, BlueSpike, Jack Thaddeus, Nick Dunbar

Nick Dunbar (0:00 - 0:44)

Chris: [clipped from start] E--o?
Nick: Hello, is, uh, is this Chris?
Chris: Uh, yes, this is, uh, Christian Chandler, how may I help you?
Nick: Hi! Um, I'm calling in regards of your Craigslist ad, it says here that you're selling a '94, uh, Escort for $400?
Chris: That's, uh, that, that is a fake ad, somebody else put that up there without my consent as a prank.
Nick: Are you sure?
Chris: I will--
Nick: Are you sure?
Chris: Yes, I am pos--I am 100% positive. It's a fraud. Somebody else put it up there. I've already sent a complaint to Craigslist. So, go somewhere else for a car.
Nick: Are you sure I can't convince you otherwise, sir? I mean I have a perfectly g-
Chris: [Chris raises his voice.] I. AM. SURE.
Nick: You're sure. I have a perfectly good Xbox 360 right here, right next to me-
Chris: SHUT UP!
Nick: Oka...excuse me, sir? [Chris hangs up, and the default Skype hanging-up sound is heard.]

Voicemail Greeting (0:45 - 1:17)

Chris: Hello. You have reached the cellphone of Christian Weston Chandler. I'm sorry I could not answer right now, but please leave your name message, telephone number, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. And I was advised heavily by my publicist and my lawyers to not do any interviews or a documentaries whatsoever. Even in...because I got so much reputation and at stake at the current time. Also if this is a, uh, troll trying to troll me back, do you think how much trollin' stupid? I'm not trollin' stupid, you're trollin' stupid. Have a good day. [BEEP]

BlueSpike (1:19 - 2:12)

BlueSpike: [loudly gulps during the beep] Hey there, is this Mr. Chandler?
Chris: Uh...yes it is.
BlueSpike: Good evening, sir. I'm calling regards to the Craidled--Craigslist about the '94 Escort?
Chris: [sigh] That, that thing has was put up there, it was a fake. I have not put that up there myself. Somebody's using my name my address and it's just try--it's just a prank, it's not real.
BlueSpike: Alright, no--no reason to get all, upset about it, sir.
Chris: Okay, I'm sorry.
BlueSpike: I have, uh, a pretty good condition Xbox.
Chris: I am serious. It is n-ot for sale. It never will--[phone breaks up] for [break]. And would you think I would give up my car for a blatantly stupid HEXBox? Hex, H-E-X.
BlueSpike: Yes, I can spell, sir. Do you prefer the PlayStation 3?
Chris: [scoffs] I'm not selling my car, good night.
BlueSpike: But it was my brother's and now [Chris hangs up at this point and the default Skype hanging-up sound is heard.] he's dead.

Jack Thaddeus (2:13 - 2:43)

Jack: Huhuh, hi there! I'm sorry to bug you at this...evening, buddy, but is this Mr. Chandler?
Chris: Uh, yes it is. May I help you?
Jack: I heard you have my bike. A '94 Ford bike? I'll trade you an Xbox [corpsing] for my bike.
Chris: Uh...the car is not for sale, that ad was a fake-
Jack: I said "bike"!
Chris: --for sale, put up as a joke--
Jack: I said "bike"! I need to have that back.
Chris: --it has my address and my name on it. It was a joke. My car is not for sale, goodbye.
Jack: This isn't a joke, buddy! [Chris hangs up and the Skype hanging up sound is heard at this point.] My bike!

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