BlueSpike PSN Chats
The BlueSpike PSN Chats were a series of four conversations between Chris and his True and Honest sweetheart, Julie; also known as BlueSpike, which took place in mid-February 2009. They mostly showcase Chris's desperation and gullibility in being seduced by a 13-year-old boy doing an obvious falsetto (sometimes not even disguising his voice), insight into how he would conduct himself with a potential mate and they also shed light on his debauched and loathsome sexual history.
|1||16 February 2009||Aunt Corrina, threesome, work|
|2||17 February 2009||Aunt Corrina, Sarah Jackson, Sonichu|
|3||18 February 2009||Chris's sexual history|
|3.5||18 February 2009||Lack of geographical knowledge, racism, Bob|
|3.7||18 February 2009||Bob talks about his life|
|4||20 February 2009||Barbara, Ich bin schwul|
- Main article: BlueSpike PSN Chat 1
Chris opens this chat by forgetting that his Aunt Corrina is still alive, claiming that he "was sad that she died" and is "recovering" and "hurtin' inside". He smoothly transitions into trying to arrange a threesome with Julie and another woman... or man. Chris talks through his average day and fails to get Barb to come up and talk to Julie. He then talks about trying to get paid for volunteer work. The chat ends and the trolls listening in laugh at his stupidity.
- Main article: BlueSpike PSN Chat 2
This chat opens with Julie trying to persuade a reluctant Chris to visit his dying Aunt Corrina. They talk about Sarah Jackson being murdered by Optimus Prime in Sonichu #8, and Chris has the gall to claim that "that could be any truck". Chris reads Sonichu spoilers until the chat ends.
- Main article: BlueSpike PSN Chat 3
The most notorious of the BlueSpike chats. It starts with Chris revealing how homo images, thoughts and voices appear in his head. He moves onto his sex toys, including his love dolls and the usage of his vibrator and anal beads. Julie then asks for his full sexual history. This is mostly a story of his discovery of masturbation, what he uses to aid it and how he talks to his parents about it. BlueSpike makes no effort to disguise his voice throughout this entire chat, so Chris reveals his most intimate of secrets to a person with a voice that is totally different from, and more masculine than his actual sweetheart.
- Main article: BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.5
In this chat, Julie asks Chris about his opinions on different ethnicities. Chris does various impersonations and sings "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" for Julie. They discuss Chris's heritage and his parents. Julie asks to talk to them, but Barb is asleep and Bob is doubtful of Molvania being a real country. Julie is furious at this and quits the chat. The trolls berate BlueSpike for squandering the opportunity to talk to Bob.
- Main article: BlueSpike PSN Chat 3.7
Julie apologizes for quitting the chat, and starts to talk to Bob. Bob talks about his life, career and travels. He apologizes for doubting Molvania. He mentions Chris's lack of perspective on the world and his disinterest in where anything is. He confirms that he is part Cherokee. He tells Julie that she can talk to him any time, and they part. The trolls listening in love Bob and approve of the conversation.
- Main article: BlueSpike PSN Chat 4
In the final chat, Chris asks Julie about her education level, at Bob's request. She contradicts herself, saying she got a college degree and can't remember what it is (amazingly, Chris calls her out on this), then that she's only finished high school. Chris accepts this. Chris thinks Julie is 24; she's 19. He likes the pictures Julie sent. He's reluctant to come to Ohio. Julie teaches him how to say "I am Gay" in
German Molvanîan. Barb thinks Chris dedicates too much time to his Internet friends and not enough to her. Chris tries to postpone his Ohio trip until the tape runs out.
|⇐ n/a||BlueSpike PSN Chats||BlueSpike PSN Chat 1 ⇒|