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Kacey Call 1

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Yeah, and I'm just gonna keep bangin' your BREASTS OVER AND OVER AGAIN until you get the first DOSAGE of my comeuppance!... And then you know what, I'm going to lick it, I'm gonna lick it off your face, and then we're gonna share it in our tongue like tongue sharing MOMENT!
 

 

—Chris, not being creepy or fucked-up whatsoever

Kacey Call 1 is the very first in the Kacey calls series, taking place on 3 August 2009.

On that very day, Solid Chris called Kacey while attempting to impersonate Liquid Chris, and described how he would pleasure her. Hilarity and fail ensues. Most of the call, Chris forgets he's pretending to be Liquid, but Kacey, quickly knowing that this isn't the TRUE and HONEST CWC, manages to play along.

Video

Kacey Call 1
Stardate August 2009
Featuring Chris; Kacey
Saga LiquidLiquid Liquid Chris
Audio Recordings
previous
n/a
next
Kacey Call 1.5

Transcript

Chris: Hello?

Kacey: Hey honey! Oh my god, it's so good to hear your voice again; it's me, Kacey! How are you?

Chris: Hey Kayce! I'm good. You sound like it's goin' good. [Kacey: overlaps: "Ah, I love when you call me that!"]

Kacey: Yeah, I'm so happy cuz I got to talk to you! I missed you all day today. It sucked being in school. I can't believe it's almost finals.

Chris: Aww, yeah, I know, summer finals, right?

Kacey: I know, I don't know why I did summer session, it's just... I don't know. You know that I'm really, really into intelligent guys; which is why I love you. And I've, you know, gotta do the same. So how's school for you? [Chris: overlaps: "Aaahhh..."]

Chris: Oh, things have been great for me, you know, I just finished the dating episode; it is fantastic.

Kacey: Oh, well that's cool, but what does that have to do with school?

Chris: ...Uh, you know, the comics, so I just... I felt like finishing it up, so I finished it...

Kacey: [overlapping] Oh, I get what you're saying! Oh, that is so cool!

Chris: The dating education episode. It's on the CWCipedia.

Kacey: Oh, that's awesome. I'm gonna have to check it out, because, you know, that is of course what led me to you in the first place. [Chris: overlaps: "Oh, yeah."] But, um, what about actual school? 'Cuz I know you had classes today too!

Chris: Ohhh, yeah... Oh, yeah, they were very tough on me, but, I felt like I take a break, finish up my comic work, and get that outta the way, y'know?

Kacey: Oh, I get what you're saying; you're gonna do everything tomorrow, well, that... that's so cool of you, I mean, at least you're being serious about it, but you're not being too serious. So, um, when are your finals? Are they next week, too?

Chris: Mmm, yeah, only got... I only got one to go, y'know? One more test to go, and then I'm done.

Kacey: Oh god, you're so lucky, cuz my finals, like, they don't even start 'til next week, so... Which one's your last one again? I can't remember, I'm [laughs] sorry.

Chris: ...I'm sorry, what was that question? I didn't quite understand it.

Kacey: Sorry. [laughs] You know I talk fast 'cuz I'm so excited to be talking to you. Um, so-

Chris: It's all right.

Kacey: [giggles] So which one's your last final? I totally forgot.

Chris: Which one's my last, uh, fina- my last final?

Kacey: Yeah, is it the same one, you know, that same class we have together?

Chris: Aaahhh... No, it's not, no, it's not that one... Uuhhh... I'm trying to think of the name. I'm trying to think of it... Um... Oh, yeah, it's the one where I'm doing, uh... It's the one where, uh... working with, uh, I think it's... I think I'm working in Photoshop, something like that, with the... ahh, so much going on in my head right now...

Kacey: Oh, oh, it's your...databasing and, uh, computer graphics class! Oh, that's right!

Chris: Yes! My computer graphics class. Yes, that's it.

Kacey: Oh, okay. God, and, I've seen some of your work since you sent it to me, and lemme just tell you, you are so frickin' amazing, like, I cannot wait to see you this weekend.

Chris: Uh, yeah, you know my address, right? You got MapQuest to come all the way over?

Kacey: Oh my God, I've got a GPS system, you know that, sweetie!

[Chris and Kacey both stammer a bit]

Chris: [high-pitched] Oh, that's right, you told me about the GPS! I totally forgot!

Kacey: I got it for my birthday this year, remember? So, um... yeah, I've already got it plugged in, and... it's gonna be so much fun, so... do you remember our last time together, you know, our, uh, our third date? [giggles]

Chris: Ah, date number three... mmm... oh, I've been so busy with, uh, with studying for the finals. It's just that so much of the details are plaguing my mind at the moment!

Kacey: Oh, I know. But it was so magical. I have never, ever been with someone so sensual, and just so in tune to me. I can NOT wait to see you again. So maybe you can give me a sneak preview of what you're going to do the next time I see you?

Chris: I'm gonna rock your world, baby.

Kacey: [laughing] Oh, Chris, you are so hot. God, I don't know how you do it. So stop teasing me, you've gotta give me more.

Chris: It- It just comes natural to me, I guess. I got a deep sensual voice, you know. I definitely got the Bing Crosby tune, baby, you know I been raised on music! My dad was a technical engineer! Got all them patents and everything!

Kacey: Oh my God, Chris! I love it when you talk like that! God, so, you know when you sang Fresh Prince today, you know I looove that. Oh my God, like you know that white boy rap? Oh my God. You were amazing, almost as amazing as last time I saw you.

Chris: Aw yeah, before that, yeah. Y'know I'm into hippin'- I'm hippin' to soo many hippin' tunes right now. But you know, I like to just... uh, sometimes I like to look back, at my favorite hits and just uh, listen to them you know? Ah, you know I definitely did like Sonic Boom and Don't Say You Love Me, too bad- ah, too bad I got beaten to the punch on those. Uh yeah...

Kacey: God, I know, I was so hoping you would do something like that. I mean, maybe you could do *NSYNC next? I love "Tearin' Up My Heart". Could you do that one for me?

Chris: I got bears- you know what? - I got bears- I got a better song I'm planning on next one. Uh, here's a little preview. Hang on.

Kacey: Awesome. AWESOME. Thank you! [giggles]

Chris: Hang on. Hang on. Hush-hush-hush!

Kacey: Aww.

Chris: [shouts] YOU GOT THE TOUCH. YOU GOT THE POWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER, YEAH!

Kacey: Oh Chris. Your voice... well, you know what it does to me. It gets me so hot.

Chris: Ohhhh yeah.

Kacey: So tell me how much you like when I get hot.

Chris: Oohhhh, I'm lovin' it.

Kacey: What are you gonna do to me Chris? I mean, love songs are wonderful, I know you've got lots of ideas in your head.

Chris: It'll be like the first time all over again, girl. You know I enjoyed the first time.

Kacey: I know, just the way you looked at me-

Chris: [interrupting] I'd like ta, I'd like ta, I'm definitely gonna try to repeat the encore, repeat as best as I can, you know. You know, to the best of my memory, even though I been messin' up stuff for the finals and whatevurrr, so...

Kacey: So did you remember what I wanted you to do next time?

Chris: Aww... shoot.

Kacey: Chris, how could you forget!

Chris: Oh, you know... lemme take a guess, lemme take a guess! Uh, you want me to caress your breasts?

Kacey: Yeah, that's one of them, but I wanted to do something a little more adventurous! I can't believe you forgot, you seemed so excited!

Chris: [in a high-pitched whine] OH YEAH I'M SO EXCITED! I just can't hide it.

Kacey: I guess I'll forgive you this time, but I totally, absolutely wanted you to tie me up and let me be at your mercy. I mean doesn't that sound awesome?

Chris: AWW YEAH THAT DOES SOUND FUCKIN' AWESOME.

Kacey: Ok well since I told you that you have to tell me what you're gonna do to me because come on, you know I love it when you talk dirty to me.

Chris: Aww, talk dirty to me! Duh-duh.

Kacey: Oh, god. Please do.

Chris: Mmmmmmm... oh yeah.

Kacey: Do it for me, your sweet little Kacey-kase.

Chris: Oh yeah. I gonna... you just gonna love this. You uh, I'll be showin', I'll be presentin' myself to you, you'll be lovin' my dick, it's so big and all that you know, and you just, I'll be puttin' it, between your tits while you're all TIED UUUP!

Kacey: Oh my God that sounds so good! Like, I'm like crying because it sounds so wonderful! Keep telling me more!

Chris: Yeah, I'm just going to get that girl...

Kacey: I'm actually starting to touch my tits right now, so keep telling me more. Keep telling me more.

Chris: Yeah, and I'm just gonna keep bangin' your BREASTS OVER AND OVER AGAIN until you get the first DOSAGE of my comeuppance!

Kacey: Oh my God, I can't wait to lick it off. I'm gonna be so, so hot. This is the Chris I know and love. Thank you!

Chris: And then you know what, I'm going to lick it, I'm gonna lick it off your face, and then we're gonna share it in our tongue like tongue-sharing MOMENT!

Kacey: Oh my God, you know I love shotgunning like that. God Chris, you're even a little spicier than last time. What's gotten into you?

Chris: [sings] VANILLA HOT HOT SPICY BABY.

Kacey: So Chris... um, so what are you doing right now, y'know, are you uh, doing the same thing?

Chris: [overlapping] Oh, you know... yeah, I'm just I'm... yeah, I'm getting turned on. I'm just rubbing myself thinking about it!

Kacey: Oh my God, Chris! It's gonna be so much better when I'm really there, though. I can't wait to see you, I can't believe I'm actually going to go to your house, and be with you and it's gonna be awesome.

Chris: Oh yeah. You know it, girl. You know it so well.

Kacey: And I mean, I just can't help getting hot thinking again about all your music videos, just... oh my gosh, I remember so much better than I poss-

Chris: [interrupting to mangle REO Speedwagon while Kacey giggles] You can't fight that feeling anymore... I've forgotten what I started fighting for... it's just so much listen to the shore... and I can't fight this feeling anymore.

Kacey: Okay, well, you know I hate to spoil the mood, but I mean you're just so much better than that brown-shirted... or that shirted impostor. I mean, I love your brown shirts way more.

Chris: Mmm...

Kacey: Sorry, I'm getting so confused right now, because I'm just so hot right now. I'm so glad you-

Chris: [interrupting] Yeah, but you know I actually do have a red, white and blue-striped shirt in my closet.

Kacey:You do? Why don't you wear it then? I mean, I guess that would make you too much like the impostor.

Chris: I don't know, because you know... just been trying to separate myself from the impostor I guess, I mean red, white and blue, you know, was my original roots, I mean look at back in the early pages of my books! Red, white and blue all the way, girl!

Kacey: [sighs] Well...

Chris: [plows on] I just had to separate myself from the impostor somehow. And you know how I rapped the PaRappa contest? I wore an orange shirt then, girl.

Kacey: Yeah, I guess... okay, well I mean, just that impostor, I know he's really, really, really getting to you.

Chris: Oh yeah, he's been getting to me. Giving me... wracking at my NERVES! [tard rage] Just really turning me... urgh! Making me so angry!

Kacey: God I know, he pisses me off too. I can't believe he's trying to be you when you're just so much sexier, hotter... [Chris overlapping: Yeah, yeah] I mean, his voice doesn't even sound like yours!

Chris: Yeah... I mean, can you believe him? I mean he just looks so... aw shoot, what's the word I'm trying think of... oh yeah, he looks so soph-moric!

Kacey: Yeah, he does, I, I guess, I mean...

Chris: Yeah, I mean the impostor looks like he's got to be about 13 or 15, does not have the diploma or the degrees, OR the certificate I had from the waterboy on the varsity basketball team during my freshman year!

Kacey: Right, um... what are you talking about?

Chris: Aw, I'm just on a roll here, you know. I'm just trying- I'm just trying to- I've been-

Kacey: [overlapping] I mean, 'cause-

Chris: One five minute note or you know... ah, he's telling me history or like um... I got my truths, you know. He's just bringing me all the counter-evidence and I've got to fight back with the real deal.

Kacey: Oh oh, you mean when he was trying to duel you in Spanish and he showed that fake certificate with a fake Sonichu picture. Oh oh, okay, I get it, 'cause you were confusing me for a minute there, at first I thought that you were suggesting that you were the fat impostor, and you know, I was getting worried for a minute there.

Chris: Mmm. Well, you... well, I don't know about this and that but I tell you what... you are definitely talking to the real deal, baby. You know I'm going to ROCK YOUR WORLD.

Kacey: [sighs] Yeah, you totally, totally are. I mean, like you said, next time we're going to try the strap-ons, and I can't wait for that!

Chris: Mmm. Let's do it after this, after this, after this one time, the first time this weekend, y'know... yeah, tie me down...

Kacey: [interrupting] Oh right, like start out slow like that and... oh yeah, I get it, y'know... do you dominant first, then me dominant... I gotcha! [giggles]

Chris: Oh yeah.

Kacey: I mean, I know you said you couldn't wait... but I could do it for you Chris, definitely do it for you.

Chris: Oh yeah. [voice gets high pitched] OH YEAH!

Kacey: You know baby, I might skip school tomorrow and head down tomorrow, how does that sound?

Chris: Mmm. Tomorrow... hmm.

Kacey: I mean, finals are until next week, I can skip this week if you want me to spend the whole week with you, get a little good-luck lovin', you know?

Chris: Mmm. Oh yeah, that sounds good, that sounds... yeah, that sounds very good. Mmm. So what time do you think you could be at my place?

Kacey: Well, let's see, you're only an hour and a half away, so six p.m. maybe?

Chris: Mmm. six p.m... mmm. Yeah, that sounds do-able. Six p.m.!

Kacey: [giggles] Do-able, just like me, right?

Chris: [sings] DO-ABLE BABY!

Kacey: Can you cook me something for dinner, something delicious?

Chris: Uuurgh.

Kacey: And maybe afterwards a guitar serenade? You know, cause your songs put me in the mood. That's all I want, I want a delicious dinner and a guitar serenade where you sing, you know that last song you sung me just like last time, can you please repeat it for me? Can you at least sing a little bit right now?

Chris: [sighs] Hmmm, hang on a minute let me a minute, let me reflect in my memory here. My well audiograped memory my father entrusted me with well by teaching me so much music.

Kacey: Of course! [giggles]

Chris: Oh yeah. [sings] YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL! IT'S TRUE!

Kacey: [giggles]No, no, not the one you sang for the impostor, the one you sang for me on our last date.

Chris: Oh, I'm sorry...

Kacey: I know, it's easy to get confused.

Chris: [overlapping]Yeah, I'm kind of a little bit confused myself, it's been a long day.

Kacey: Aw, I know, I know. I mean, you're doing so well since, you know, considering what you're majoring in and everything.

Chris: ...Yeah! Computer Aided Drafting and Design!

Kacey: Did you change your major? What?

Chris: No, that's BEEN my major.

[long pause]

Kacey: ...Okay.

Chris: [overlapping] That's my major, Computer Aided Drafting and Design.

Kacey: Oh... that's, uh, weird. But anyway, what are you gonna cook for me? You know, for the date?

Chris: Oh yeah. Hm, I could definitely whip up a, uh, pretty good stew for you.

Kacey: Oooh, a stew, what type of stew?

Chris: Oh you know, with the tomatoes and the vegetables and the whatnot.

Kacey: You know, I thought you were a little more ambitious than that. I mean, stew sounds good still, but isn't that better maybe for a winter getaway?

Chris: Hm.

Kacey: How about you make my favorite? I told you about my favorite the other day, can you make it?

Chris: [mumbling] Umm...your favorite..uhh...your favorite, your favorite. Uhh. Boy I wore myself out getting excited and I can't even remember too clearly.

Kacey: [giggles] That was my fault, I'm so sorry! But you know, talking to you, just makes me want to, you know. [giggles]

Chris: YEAH.

Kacey: But it's just chicken risotto, so will you be able to do that for me?

Chris: Risotto's...

Kacey: Yeah, maybe make a little video of you making it for me so that, uh, I can see how much love and awesomeness you're putting into it.

Chris: Uhh...I don't know if, I don't know if I mean, to make it, to have a video up in the amount of time before you get here, but I would definitely cook you a risotto.

Kacey: Oh, awesome. So anyway, I like what you said to that impostor about him not having a sweetheart, because I mean, if he had a sweetheart he really would, you know, make her a judge, don't you think? Because if you didn't make me a judge I would have been so pissed off. So I mean, what do you think about that?

Chris: Uhh... I'm sorry, you got me confused there, could you start from the beginning and go slow please?

Kacey: Yeah! Oh, sorry, sorry, I just got so excited talking to you. [giggles]

Chris: It's okay.

Kacey: So, um, you know how you told the impostor? The impostor doesn't have a heartsweet on his judge's panel. Do you think that's because he doesn't have one?

Chris: Hmm... oh yeah, that's, that's very likely but you know, I did realize that I apparently did take observation and notice, that actually one of them is a uh, is a real-life close gal-pal by the name of, uh, I think Kim Wilson?

Kacey: Oh, he's-you think he has a girlfriend named Kim Wilson? How do you know that? You are so awesome!

Chris: Uh, yeah, I know I'm awesome. [laughs] Yeah but yeah no, I've just been hearing news talk between, you know, here and there and the fanbase, yadda yadda yadda. No, but they're just basically, they're just friends. Besides, I heard that Kim has been together with this tough dude named, uh, Logan, and they have two German shepherds.

Kacey: Oh, I love German shepherds, but, um-

Chris: [interrupts] ARF!

Kacey: [giggles] But, um, would that mean that you still like her, though? I mean-

Chris: [overlapping] Oh no no no no...

Kacey: [overlapping] Er, HE likes her?

[Pause]

Chris: Uh, uh no no no. No, they've always been friends. I mean, you know, he had to know why though because she was already taken, in order to establish like guys do, to actually be with her or not, you know.

Kacey: Well, you know, the impostor's never gonna get anyone anyway, he's not as awesome as you. You know, I just fell for you right off the bat. I mean, he's just such a fatty and you're thin and you're hot, and your medallion is so much better.

Chris: ...Oh yes. Nothing like the real deal.

Kacey: And your flowing locks, I mean, come on. What's with that haircut?

Chris: Oh come on you know, ahh...I bet his mom probably cut his hair and uh, that's uh..I think it looks good on him actually! I like his haircut. If I, I mean you know uh, I would probably get my hair cut that way in the near future.

Kacey: [giggles] You're gonna get your mom to cut your hair? Oh Chris, oh you, I get it, you're joking. You're so funny.

Chris: Oh...I might be, but then again I might be serious, you never know.

Kacey: Well you are full of surprises.

Chris: [shouting] I AM FULL OF SURPRISES! [pause] I am full of surprises, woman, you know me. I am full of surprises.

Kacey: I know you, I definitely, definitely know you. So tell me about some of these surprises. Spoil me, please.

Chris: [laughs] Ahh, okay. Hmm, surprises surprises..yes...well, you'll have to see my house, it'll definitely look so much familiar to you...if you look anywhere on the internet you'll recognize my house.

Kacey: Oh my god, it's just gonna say you. It's just gonna say "Christian Weston Chandler", right?

Chris: Uh, I'm sorry...

Kacey: You know, figuratively?

Chris: Yeah, the house pretty much screams Christian Weston Chandler. You know my car has a license plate that says "SONICHU" on it.

Kacey: Does it? Wow, that's so funny because the impostor has one just like that! You would think they wouldn't let two tags be the same.

Chris: [high-pitched] Yeah, I know!

Kacey: Oh my god, that has got to be, like, the worst coincidence ever. I can't believe he did that to you.

Chris: Yeah, I know! Yeah, you know, one thing I'm definitely going to share with you after you get here? My original hand-drawn pages. You're just gonna enjoy seeing them, the original hand-drawn, unaltered, from the computer, you will definitely see the hand-drawn resemblance.

Kacey: Well yeah I've seen them before. But I can't wait to see...I guess you know, new ones and stuff? So um, really quick, did you get my picture that I sent you?

Chris: Oh yeah, I saw it. NICE.

Kacey: Nice? Okay. What did you think about the color shirt I was wearing?

Chris: Oh yeah... RED. The only thing that's missing is white and blue! Other than that, our shirts are patriotic. WE LOVE AMERICA! Proud to be an American. And I was born in Washington Jefferson Hospital, which is in Charlottesville...

Kacey: So, does that picture make you horny? How horny does it make you?

Chris: Oh yeah. Turns me on.

Kacey: How bad?

Chris: Real bad.

Kacey: Real bad? Like last time?

Chris: Ohhh yes.

Kacey: [giggles]

Chris: Like so many times in my past before, even before I met you, but there was nothing, you know, I watched my own share of pornography in my lifetime, but that's just me growing up, you know?

Kacey: [giggles]

Chris: I was curious, I had to know!

Kacey: [giggles] That's so cute! So what are you doing now?

Chris: I'm talking to you, and enjoying this nice conversation.

Kacey: Oh Chris, you're so awesome! So um, you remember the last time we were talking and we were talking about, you know, socialism and health care? You know, you never finished your opinion on that. Could you go ahead and expand?

Chris: Um, socialism and health care. Umm...yeah, I definitely feel that, uh, health care would be good for, you know, the elderly and the disabled people and, uh, socialism, uh...I don't have all the details on socialism really. I might be leaving a few out in my head to make a final opinion.

Kacey: Well, socialism just means, you know... Obama's plan on healthcare. We were talking about this for hours!

Chris: Oh yeah. Oh yeah, I'm just spacing out right now, haha. Ahh... but yeah, Obama's plan on health care. Well you know, I mean, he's, uh yeah, he's trying but yeah he's just not trying hard enough. Hang on, I gotta switch my arm, my right arm's getting tired out on me. You know how it is...

Kacey: [overlapping] Oh, is it because you're uhh, you're uhh, you know...touching yourself?

Chris: Uh, no, my right arm was holding the phone and I used my left hand to touch myself-

Kacey: [overlapping] [giggles] Ooh, that's a little spicy!

Chris: It's like, you know, you're holding the phone over to your ear and your arm just hurts after a while you've held it there.

Kacey: [giggles] ...Right...So, um...

Chris: Oh actually you know, I just remembered, I wanted to recommend to you some more viewing notes from YouTube, I want you to look at the videos on the account CCHAN6789.

Kacey: What was that? CCHAN6789?

Chris: Yeah, they were all from me. That's an old account, I pretty much just ended the deal with it, past time.

Kacey: W-what's it again?

Chris: Uh...It's C-C-H-A-N-6-7-8-9. Yeah, all me there. The real me.

Kacey: Oh. What? Oh, I'll have to check it later when I'm near a computer. That's cool, that's cool.

Chris: Yeah. So you know uh, Kim, you know uh, how she, uh, yeah you know, uh, Kim, I actually heard that Kim and her friend Logan actually live in the Charlton area close to the downtown mall, you know? So if you ever wanted to look her up and, you know, just talk to her, you know, find about more about the impostor for me, or you know, see what her opinion of me is on the Internet from her point of view...

Kacey: Oh, you want me to do some undercover stuff? Chris, that is so sweet of you! You know how much I wanted to get involved.

Chris: Oh yeah, sure. You know that ScarletSanctum account? That's hers.

Kacey: Okay, no, I will totally, totally message her. It's Kim Woods, you said?

Chris: No, Kim Wilson. Totally. Message her, talk to her all about me.

Kacey: I totally will. That is-yeah. I gotcha.

Chris: Oh actually, yeah. I'm looking through my uh, e-mails...oof. My arm's cracking up on me again, you know from holding the phone-

Kacey: [overlapping] You know, that's so weird, because you know, you work out all the time, Chris, so you would think a phone wouldn't be, you know, so heavy for you-

Chris: [overlapping] Yeah, uh yeah, it's like light, but it's like, holding my arm in the same position for an extended period of time, it just bothers me.

Kacey: Oh, okay. So, um, you told me that you had some new Sonichu merchandise coming out, so can you tell me about those? [giggles]

Chris: [sighs] Uhh...oh yeah. I definitely got Poké Balls-I definitely got a Sonichu Ball replica in the works.

[long pause]

Kacey: Oh, that's awesome. How much are you gonna sell them for? Cause I know you made so much money...

Chris: Eh, they'll probably go for like five, ten bucks. You know, I wanna get it out there.

Kacey: Oh, oh okay. You want it to start out like that. Okay, got it.

Chris: Actually you know, I think I am, oh yeah. As I was trying to say earlier but then my arm cramped up on me, I was checking my e-mail and uh, actually I have Kim Wilson's e-mail address, I could share that to you, okay?

Kacey: Oh please do, that would be awesome! I will put it in my address book right away.

Chris: All right, I'll spell it out for you. It's S-C-A-R-L-E-T-M-A-R-I-E-S-A-N-C-T-U-A-R-Y at gmail dot com.

Kacey: So it's scarletmariesanctuary@gmail.com?

Chris: Yeah, yeah, but yeah. Okay but anyway listen, don't uh, let her, don't uh spread this around to anybody, I'm trusting you. Keep it just between you and me. Just between you and me.

Kacey: No, no, definitely, I won't tell anyone. Just between you and me, Chris, just like, you know, our sexy secrets.

Chris: Oh yes. Anyway, I gotta go, you know, I'm just tired out right now...

Kacey: Aww, I don't want you to go, though.

Chris: Oh I know, I wanna talk to you some more too, but, like, [high-pitched] you know, I need my rest girl, I gotta see you tomorrow at six and make your, uh, your, uh... your... rigatoni?

Kacey: [giggles] Risotto, risotto, sweetie, risotto.

Chris: RISOTTO![super high-pitched] RISOTTO, RISOTTO!

Kacey: But still, can you make me a special video, please please? I'm not gonna be there till six so please make me a video!

Chris: [sigh]

Kacey: It doesn't have to be cooking, just make me a video about how much you love me, please. You know, I'm feeling so lonely because this impostor, he's taking up a lot of your time, so please?

Chris: All right, sweetheart, I'll make you a video saying how much I love you...

Kacey: [overlapping] Oh my god, thank you!

Chris: ...but don't be surprised if it ends up on, uh, a different account, you know.

Kacey: I know. Oh, you're gonna keep it between us! I got it, I got it. That's awesome. Just e-mail it to me and I will look at it.

Chris: Yeah, I will e-mail it to you and let you look at it. Yes, I'll e-mail you the link.

Kacey: Awesome, please, PLEASE e-mail me the link.

Chris: All RIGHT, we've got a game plan!

Kacey: Awesome.

Chris: [Singing over her] YEAH, I CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING!

Kacey: Be as sexy and awesome like you always are, okay, please?

Chris: Oh yes, sexy and awesome. You got it, girl. You got it.

Kacey: Okay, then I guess I'll let you go to sleep and, umm...

Chris: Yeah, you have pleasant dreams tonight, sweetheart.

Kacey: I will as long as you're in them.

Chris: Bye. [Kissing noises]

Kacey: I love you, Chris.

Chris: I love you too. Love talking to you.

Kacey: I love talking to you too...I love doing more with you, but that will have to wait till tomorrow.

Chris: [weirdly high-pitched] Yeah, wait till tomorrow when you get here!

Kacey: So...I'll be in your dreams, right?

Chris: Yeah, you'll be in my dreams and I'll be in yours, [sings] I'll be in yours...

Kacey: [Tries to interrupt] All right, th-

Chris: I NEVER PROMISED YOU A HAPPY ENDING! I'm just trying to take a crack at his song now. The one that he could have stolen from me because, you know, I love Britney Spears as well.

Kacey: Oh, I haven't seen that one yet, is it up?

Chris: Oh yes, it's up. [sings over her again]

Kacey: [giggles] Okay, Chris, well...

Chris: Yeah, I'm tired, I'll talk to you later.

Kacey: I'll call you tomorrow before I come, okay? All right, love you, bye!


⇐ First Kacey Phone Calls Kacey Call 1.5


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