Kacey Call 4

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28 August 2009

In other cultures, you would not survive.


  • Chris begins the call by asking Kacey if she has an STD.
  • Kacey received a lot of awards during her high school graduation. Chris is jealous.
  • Chris suggests talking about political issues even though he has nothing to say about political issues.
  • Kacey asks Chris about things she found on the ED page.
  • Chris totally doesn't drink cum anymore, he definitely doesn't shit himself anymore, and he certainly isn't gullible anymore.
  • Chris lies and says the last time he shat himself was THREE YEARS AGO.
  • Chris tries to explain why he has so many fucking video game accounts.
  • Chris whines that he only gets 200 out of his 800 a month, and spends 150 on video games.
  • Chris was going to call someone about getting a job, "but then stress happened."
  • Chris used credit cards to buy thousands of video games, parents are paying the bills.
  • Chris doesn't know why he got a CADD degree, "I feel more comfortable with drawing da comics than with da buildings and da computers."
  • Chris is sending printed-out Sonichu comics to Marvel, DC and Dark Horse; thinks they will hire him because he's "very popular."
  • Mary Lee Walsh caused all of his problems.
  • Chris is capable of surviving, cooking and doing laundry.
  • Chris can't look for a job on the internet because he "doesn't know what to put into a search term."
  • Kacey says Sonichu is fanfiction. Chris says it's parody.
  • Chris lies that he'll look for a job where he works 10 hours a week, Kacey wants him to work 20, eventually he says okay to shut her up.
  • Kacey tells him not to wear his medallion to the job interview and not to draw on the applications; Chris sadly agrees that he won't.
  • Chris thanks Kacey for yelling at him.


Kacey Call 4
Stardate 28 August 2009
Featuring Chris; Kacey
Saga LiquidLiquid Liquid Saga
Audio Recordings
Kacey Call 3
Kacey Call 5


Chris: Hello-o?

Kacey: Hi! It's Kacey!

Chris: Hey Kacey! How are you?

Kacey: I'm good. Um, how are you? Um, are you doing better?

Chris: Yeah, I'm feeling better, thank you. I was waiting for you to call me.

Kacey: Well, you just said around 11 to 11:30, so I gave you a few extra, you know, minutes just in case.

Chris: I see. Yeah, I know, that's cool. I appreciate that. But it's like, you know. Yeah, I mean, I mean no hurry, but I mean, like, you know. I was waiting for the pleasure of talking to you.

Kacey: Oh, uh, thank you. [nervous laugh]

Chris: Yeah, so uh, okay, let me go and get my main questions I had written down in my little notebook out of the way. Um...

Kacey: Oh, you have questions? Yeah, go ahead and ask them.

Chris: Yeah. Okay, this is an important one. You don't have any STDs, do you?

Kacey: Chris, why would you ask me that?! Of course I don't!

Chris: Okay, I'm sorry, I just-

Kacey: [interrupts] I mean, you know I've only been with one person!

Chris: Yeah, well, I mean, I just felt like I just had to ask anyway.

Kacey: O...okay, that's just... WOW!

Chris: Yeah, okay, I'm sorry, I guess I wasn't up...[unintelligible] that wasn't a very good opening topic, I know, I'm sorry. It's just the first one I had on my thing here.

Kacey: Okay, well I hope the rest of the questions aren't that bad!

Chris: Uh, no, yeah well here, here, we'll do a 180 right here, um, yeah, let's, I think we talked about your education background a little bit, you, uh, you said you had honor roll grades back in high school?

Kacey: Yes, I was 4.0 all the way.

Chris: Well that's good. Yeah, you got your diploma and all. Um, okay, did you, uh, ever get any, uh, awards? Um, like, you know right before graduation?

Kacey: Um, yeah, like, um, I actually had a couple poems published, and um, I actually graduated with way more credits than I needed so I got a merit certificate.

Chris: [enthralled] You got a merit certificate?

Kacey: Yes.

Chris: Hmm. Tell me about that, what does that do for you?

Kacey: Oh, it just goes with your diploma, it just shows that you did way more than you needed to do- so, I got that, and you know, and I did like over 200 hours of community service, so, I got...It's just, it's just something that you...it doesn't really do anything, I mean, awards in high school are nothing, I mean, they don't really help you ever in your life.

Chris: Hmm. Yeah, but it's like, you know the achievement, it just makes you feel better, you know, I wish I would've gotten an award for my creativity back in high school.

Kacey: I mean, I guess, but high school really doesn't do anything for you so it's not a big deal.

Chris: Uh, it does a lot more than you, does a lot more than you think though, you know, I mean it, it's like, uh, it definitely readies you a little more for the adult life, that you're gonna be leaving high school FOR.

Kacey: Yeah, but I mean nobody cares, they look at college all the time, college is way bigger of a deal.

Chris: Yeah, it is a big deal. I hear that.

Kacey: Um, so, any other questions?

Chris: Well, okay well yeah, we'll move onto the next one...hmm...yeah...Oh yeah, um, what's yo-,...uh, you drew, you drew your original Kacey in green ink, uh, it's that like, uh, gel ink?

Kacey: Um, yeah, it is a gel pen actually, it's just one of the pens I use...for work.

Chris: Oh, okay, you generally use a green ink pen, oh, that's...that's interesting.

Kacey: Yeah, I like to use different colors.

Chris: Hm. [pause] All colors of the rainbow, right?

Kacey: [laughs] Yeah, definitely.

Chris: Hmm, now there's my colorful gal.

Kacey: [laughs] Well, Chris, remember, I'm just your friend.

Chris: Yeah, I know, I'm just saying, you know, I'm just trying to be creati-, be clever.

Kacey: [laughs] Okay, well, um, keep going with questions.

Chris: Okay, hmm, do you like Sudoku? Doin' those Sudoku puzzles in the paper?

Kacey: No, I actually don't like Sudoku, I'm really big into logic puzzles but I've never gotten into Sudoku, I don't like it.

Chris: Well that's too bad. It's more on logic though, I mean, you know, you basically just put one through nine in the one box, and then divide compared to the other boxes, the whole big nine box...

Kacey: Right, I know what it is, I just don't like it.

Chris: Hmm, yeah, okay, well generally...

Kacey: [interrupts] I'm more of a science person than a math person.

Chris: Hmm, 'kay well you know you don't need math. I mean, it's like, okay, similarly you could do like Sudoku with like, the letters A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I. You could do letters A through I.

Kacey: I guess, but I mean, I just really don't like it, so if we could move on to the next question, that'd be awesome.

Chris: Well, okay. What's your favorite board game?

Kacey: Um, my favorite board game? Um, I haven't really played any in a long time, actually, so I mean...

Chris: Yeah, out of all the board games you've played?

Kacey: Um, well the last thing I played was Catan.

Chris: Catan? [Kacey: "Yes."] I've never heard of that one.

Kacey: Oh, you should look it up, you should Google it, it's a really awesome game.

Chris: Okay, is that spelled with a K?

Kacey: Um, no, it's C-A-T-A-N.

Chris: Oh, KAY-tawn, okay.

Kacey: Kuh-TAHN.

Chris: Yeah, alright...so my favorite board game yet...I got a little bit into Monopoly, but, I don't...yeah, I mean I can call it like my second favorite board game, um, [incoherent stammering] yeah, I guess, and plus, I mean, I have the original Sega Genesis cartridge, and you know, every once in a while I would play that, and I would beat the computer! [He seems proud of this.]

Kacey: Oh, okay, cool...well, um, go ahead and keep going with the questions.

Chris: Okay. Alright, well here's a fun one for you you might like. Did you have a favorite toy growing up?

Kacey: A favorite toy? Um, yeah, my Easy-Bake Oven.

Chris: Your Easy-Bake Oven?

Kacey: Yeah, I loved that Easy-Bake Oven.

Chris: Hah. Yeah, I can understand, I can understand that. Hah. Make the little small things with the little light bulb, it's fun. Uh, my favorite toy is this little uh Fisher Price Transformer, it was like, you know, my first Transformer, so it's like, uh, it's a little red Indy racecar, that transforms into a robot, you actually gotta pop the guy's head in for the full transformation. [pause] So I was...yeah...yeah, you'd have to see it to pretty much get it, but...I mean, if you look it up, look it up on the internet, I'm sure you can find pictures, yeah. It's a little, little red Indy racecar.

Kacey: Okay.

Chris: Yeah, Fisher Price...hmm...Oh, and something else, I think, I feel like I can probably make you feel comfortable with, talkin' about, we can talk about some of your, uh, favorite pa-, pa-litickal issues, or we can talk about your favorite episodes of House or The Office, and then uh, I'll just listen, and take it all in, and learn about you more as a friend, you know?

Kacey: Okay, well, um, let's do polla...politic issues, why don't you start?

Chris: Alright...heh...why don't I start. I mean, you know more about politics than I do...uh...[pause, then frustrated sigh] I'm trying anyway, I'm trying to come up with a good political topic in my head right now.

Kacey: Well, if you can't, I mean do you have any other questions?

Chris: I mean, I just thought, you know...Okay, what's the most recent political thing that's, uh, you know, on your mind, now, at this point?

Kacey: Um, probably health care, cause, you know, that's what I'm going to be doing.

Chris: Oh, that's right, you're, uh, you're...[stammers] you're working towards getting your nurse degree. Out there.

Kacey: Yup.

Chris: Okay, um, we talked about that a little bit before... hmm...Yeah, let's see if I remember...yeah, I think you kind of agreed with me, with I said like, yeah...not everyone can afford healthcare, it's like you know... assist... and then yeah. Oh, yeah, you were... [Kacey starts talking over him]

Kacey: Actually, Chris, I think you agreed with ME, because you didn't even know about reformed healthcare, you just knew about socialist healthcare.

Chris: Hm. Yeah, that's true, I did, I did agree with you. And then you kind of agreed with you know, when I was talking about, about my father and me going down to Tom Perriello's office, and then he brought that up...but yeah, I was like agreeing with him at the time as well, but, yeah and then you, then when you talked, you kind of agreed with him a little bit too.

Kacey: Right....Well do you have any other questions? Cause there's something on my mind that I really need to, talk to you about.

Chris: Oh! We could talk about that. What's up?

Kacey: Okay, um, so you know all these trolls have been bothering me, right?

Chris: Oh, yeah.

Kacey: So I was talking to my aunt about it, she's a nurse too, and...

Kacey: ...you know she got really suspicious. And, um, she Googled your name, and you know, some of the things that the trolls have been saying, I mean, I think they might be true, I mean what is, you know, it's disturbing, and it's making me really uneasy especially since, you know, you've said you think about me to such a degree, and I mean, it's just like...I mean, I know you've talked about the ED site before, but I mean, is a lot of that true? Like, uh, why are you doing half those things in those videos? And, I thought you were anti-gay, and you're drinking your own cum?? It's gross! And it's just...it's bothering me!

Chris: Yeah, okay yeah, that is a whole bunch of skeletons, that is a whole bunch of skeletons in my closet.

Kacey: But I mean, why would you do that?! Do they make you do that?

Chris: Uh, no...As for the uh...yeah...I pretty much volunteered myself to be doing that, cause it was like, you know, I considered it like recycling, so it's like, you know, I didn't have to lose it...and plus you know I read on the internet there was like health benefits [unintelligible]

Kacey: Health benefits of what, of doing that?!

Chris: Yeah.

Kacey: There's, there's no real health benefits, those are all myths, I mean it doesn't help your hair, it doesn't help your nails, there's not enough protein in it. I mean, is that the whole reason you did it?

Chris: Anyway, anyway, I've stopped, anyway, I've stopped doing that months ago.

Kacey: Well that's GOOD, but, I mean, there's no point in doing it. I mean...I...I...I mean especially not if you were so anti-gay. I mean, it's just, I mean most people would see that and go, "Wow, this guy must be at least bisexual!"

Chris: [sigh] Yeah, okay yeah, I can definitely see it from your point of view and I understand. [sigh] Yeah, but I take it like... you know...I learn from my mistakes, and...yeah... I've grown to the understanding and whatnot. Um, anyway, mostly other stuff like you know the posts...and the videos, and me drawing, you know, drawin' on my dick, and pictures of that, yeah...

Kacey: Okay well, [Chris: "I was talking!"] Hey, no, no, let me go! Okay, another thing that really disturbed me is, apparently, you told these trolls that you, uh, that you shit yourself? I mean, what the hell, Chris?

Chris: [in an odd falsetto] Ehh, I prettty much...yeah...I mean, I'm more in control of my bowel movements nowadays, and yeah, I... I do that less.

Kacey: Well I mean...you're just...you're 27, I mean...do you just not make it to the bathroom? [amused]...Or, or what?

Chris: Uh...Yeah, I just, I just don't make it to the bathroom quickly enough.

Kacey: [incredulous] Wh...h-how do you not know? Your body...gives you...you know, it lets you KNOW that...something...it's like, I mean...like when was the last time it happened if you're so in control?

Chris: Okay, the last time it happened...yeah, it was like three years ago.

Kacey: Three years ago?

Chris: Yeah.

Kacey: Well it said that it happened recently, so are these lies?

Chris: Yeah they're, yeah they, yeah I would say they are exaggerating those. If it happened recently those are lies.

Kacey: Okay, okay but [Chris repeats "the last time I" over and over] you've got to see that all this stuff is disturbing to me.

Chris: Hmm. Yeah I can, I can, I can relate to that. I can understand how you feel. Yeah. I, I would be uneasy too if I was, if I wasn't myself and I was reading that, you know, about myself or...yeah. Hm, oh yeah, most of the information they got on that ED page...[pause] it's like conned out of me, they conned out of me from pretending to be the past women I've talked to like Blanca... Weiss or uh...

Kacey: Okay but you can't blame other people. I mean, those people aren't near you; you can't say that they made you give them those videos. I mean what [Chris tries to interrupt] were you thinking? I mean, this is why your parents are mad at you right now!

Chris: Yeah, plus I was more gullible back then. And I'm, [sheepish] I've been less gullible for the past few months. And now. [long silence] I've learned from my mistakes. I'm working on these things and I'm moving on from, I'm moving on and trying to put all that behind me. And plus, I've, I've got a responsible detective, uh, up in the FBI to take, to help, to help to towards the down-taking of the website and the downfall of the trolls.

Kacey: Okay, but still, Chris, I mean, Chris you need to understand this stuff is kind of disturbing, and I mean like, okay look, like, I mean, like stuff you do in real life. Like, if most people touched me as much as you did, I would've gone off with them, but I mean, I'm trying to be polite because I know you have difficulties, and I mean that you, like you say "slow-in-the-mind", but I mean, you've gotta understand you can't keep doing this shit.

Chris: Yeah, I understand that...[pause] I understand that.

Kacey: And besides, you keep saying that the cops don't care about things. I mean, you've really gotta let some of this stuff go! I mean, I mean don't be slow-in-the-mind with that! I mean, if they don't care they're not, they're never gonna help you, and even just one lone detective isn't gonna be able to do anything!

Chris: [long silence] Yeah...Yeah also I did go to Tom Periello a little about that and talk to him about that.

Kacey: Well, I mean, what exactly is he gonna do? [Talking over Chris] And I mean, I mean like, what about all your counselors at church? I mean, do they know all this? Do they know this stuff?

Chris: Yeah, they know, yeah they, more or less, uh, know about what's been going on in the ED page, yeah. I mean ne-, I mean, the people, I mean, between my pastor Elizabeth and my pastoral counselor Rocky, uh yeah, they're ashamed with the, the church and all that being...on the internet and being put on the ED page and being slandered around in that sense. [pause] And I mean, yeah, I've been relating with that as well, and...it's just one of the things I try not to think, that's just one of the bad pieces, that like you know. I mean, I'm not ignorant, I know about it, I understand it, I just can't- [Kacey interrupts]

Kacey: But Chris, okay, there was a video of you humping a PlayStation 3! [laughing] What the hell?

Chris: [stammering] I was, I was blackmailed into that. By, uh…

Kacey: But the, how were they blackmailing you? These people are on the internet! How are they blackmailing you? [Chris tries to interrupt] You, they, they're not going to do anything to you!

Chris: Okay, okay, Kacey, yeah, this happened like a month ago but like...two months ago. About one, about over a, yeah I'd say, yeah, closer to two months now. Uh, anyway yeah, this person Jack Thaddeus got hold of the majority of my PlayStation Network accounts, including my main, my main American one, my secondary American one, and my, and my import accounts, including my Japan, Hong Kong and Spain-

Kacey: [interrupts] Wait wait wait, you were doing this over a PlayStation account? That's what all this was about?

Chris: Not just one but the whole, but the, but the majority, a whole bunch of my accounts- [Kacey cuts him off]

Kacey: It's video games! It's, oh my gosh, you could've easily called them and they would've understood, I mean… It's video games, [Chris tries to interrupt] you were letting them get to you that bad over a video game?!

Chris: Yeah, okay- [Kacey cuts him off again]

Kacey: Chris! Think about what you're doing!

Chris: Yeah, okay, okay Kacey. Before that, before I made, before th-, that video happened, let me give you the, let me start from the beginning here.

Kacey: No, no! You're, you did this for a video game? It doesn't matter what they did. These are nameless people behind a computer screen. They're not gonna do anything to you! Uh-h You did this, you're giving them all this stuff over a video game! [pause] I mean, you need to grow up!

Chris: [moaning] Kacey, I'm, I'm, I'm talking Kacey, please. Uh, let me start from the beginning. Okay, Jack Thaddeus got hold of my Playstation Network accounts, and uh, then I tried, then I called up, like, called the American Playstation company, and uh, got both of my American accounts back but I was put on a one-month ban because they considered it like, gamesharing, and that was my, my third strike against me on that. And they're like, you know, next time it might be permanent.

Kacey: Okay, then cut your losses. Is it really worth it? Is it worth having this on the internet for the rest of your life over an account on a PS3?

Chris: [moaning again] Yeah, there's a... [sighs] You know, your may contain[?] more about how the accounts are linked, like you know, the PlayStation titles and the titles that go to, that can be copied to the PSP-

Kacey: It doesn't matter, it's a video game! You cut your losses and you tell them "Fine, take it!" Then, I mean, then, it's not worth it!

Chris: I put better than two thousand dollars on my main American account.

Kacey: Whoa, WHOA! You've spent two thousand dollars on video games!? Why would you EVER spend that much on video games? What did you get?!

Chris: Plus, and plus this was over the course of like, two, three years.

Kacey: [Talking over Chris] I haven't spent that much on video games in two to three years! [laughing]

Chris: Yeah, ehh, I didn't have a girlfriend...

Kacey: Even if it's two years, it's a thousand dollars a year! It doesn't matter if you have a girlfriend or not. That, that's insane! That's like those people who play Halo all the time. And they do nothing!

Chris: [long pause before sigh] Anyway, getting back to, anyway, getting back to, getting back on track here. Yeah, I got my American accounts back. I had trouble tryin' to get back my Japan, and my Spain which those are important to me 'cause- [unintelligible]

Kacey: Why would you, why would you even have that many accounts? Isn't an American account just good enough? And, okay-

Chris: [splutters incoherently as Kacey continues to talk] I like getting, I, you, Kacey, I like getting imports. [stress sigh]

Kacey: How would they be able to get all of them? Okay, but why would they be able to get all of them at ONCE? I mean, did you make them all the same password? I mean, all those, okay, you can't have that many accounts, that's like fraud and stuff!

Chris: [Sigh] Okay, well-

Kacey: Just I mean, how did they, how did they get them?

Chris: Okay, personally I had like, a multiple number of email addresses, and uh, multip-, uh, different passwords for all of them. Uh, upon the reaching of that for Jack Thaddeus, I sh-, I pretty much, uh, Kim, a-, Kim asked me to uh, share the, uh, for me to share the inf-, share my Playstation information with her, 'cause she has a Playstation 3 and-

Kacey: [furiously interrupts] Are you blaming Kim?! [Chris tries to talk] Are you saying it's Kim's fault?

Chris: No, no, I'm not, no, no, it's not Kim's fault, and she and I talked about this before. But anyway, she had to, I had told her the uh, the uh, information and the, the uh, the usernames and the passwords for the majority, and then she uh-

Kacey: Okay, Chris, Chris? You know what, okay let's go back to something-

Chris: Instead of my-

Kacey: Hey, hey. Hey! HEY! CHRIS! [shouts over him to get his attention] Let's go back to something. You said you spent over $2000. Okay. You are on an income, which taxpayers like myself, pay. How much do you spend on video games a WEEK?

Chris: [Sigh] I'm not sure.

Kacey: Okay. You can't even keep track of that. What gives you the right to take that money, and to spend $2000 of it on video games? Where, that, I mean, I can't even buy myself video games, so why should I pay for you to just spend your money on all this?

Chris: Most of my income goes, goes towards my family. Uh, paying them a monthly rent of $250, they've gone twice [unintelligible] the bills...

Kacey: [Talking over him] No, that doesn't matter! That doesn't matter! It doesn't matter what you pay like that.

Chris: I pay, I, I only get like two, I only get like 200 out my 800 a MONTH.

Kacey: Then WHY would you spend that much on games? That makes even LESS sense! I mean, okay, with these games that you spent so much money on, how much do you even PLAY them a week? How much do you even play them?

Chris: [Long pause] On a near daily basis.

Kacey: All of them? [Disbelieving] All 2000 dollars?

Chris: [Pause] The majority of it, yes.

Kacey: Okay, I find that hard to believe. I mean, and even if you were, don't you think maybe, you should be, like, like you were talking about getting a job! Like, how are you gonna be able to do that, and playing all these games at once? You should be, uh, I mean, like have you even done anything MORE besides going to the Social Security office?

Chris: [Pause, sigh] Yeah. I was gonna call Mr. Will yesterday and find out more about that working ticket, but unfortunately, uh, yeah- yeah, today is still Friday. I was gonna call him today, but then the stress happened yesterday, and I had to take the emotional day today. I just didn't feel up to making the call today, and-

Kacey: Chris! Then how are you ever gonna work? How are you ever gonna work? You can't just have emotional days like that. I mean, you either work or you don't. I mean, you've gotta grow up a little!

Chris: I n-, I, I've been growing up! I've been growing up. It's just so mu-, it's just a, a whole lot for me to think about.

Kacey: Well, this is why your parents are mad at you! I can see why they're mad at you![Chris sighs deeply] I mean, do they even know you spent that much on video games? And that you just like, I, I, I'd, oh my gosh! [Chris sighs] I mean, I don't, I didn't want to go in to work today, and I went in! I didn't want to go to school today, and I went! And I mean, and I've been having problems with sinuses, and, I mean, come on!

Chris: [Sigh] I, I mean, I mean, if I did have a job, and all that, uh, so many complications. I, uh, when I got my Social Security at first, I was, at first I, you know, like, I think it was about-

Kacey: [talks over him] Chris, Chris, if you-

Chris: [keeps talking] Two thousand two or three-

Kacey: -really only get 200 dollars a month, how did you GET all that money for those video games? Did you steal it?

Chris: I get 800, for your information, no. For your information, I get 800 dollars a month.

Kacey: No, but you said you only get, you just said you only get 200 out of it 'cause your parents TAKE the rest. I mean, so, how did you, I mean, that would have taken you a long time, and, and that's if you've never spent any other money on anything but video games. Where did you get that money?

Chris: Yeah, well, I-

Kacey: Be honest.

Chris: It, it, it did come out of the, uh, remaining 200. I spend like 100, 150 out of that per month.

Kacey: There's no way you could have mathematically have done that and only spent your 200 on video games. Where did you get the rest of that money, and please be honest with me.

Chris: [Sigh] Uh, between credit car-, between credit cards and- [Unintelligible, says something about his mother]

Kacey: You have credit cards? Are they yours? [Gasps] You took your parents' credit cards for video games?

Chris: No, no, not my parents', they were my own credit cards. I actually applied for those. They had my name on 'em.

Kacey: Why would you do that? [Long pause] You, you don't have a-

Chris: I'm a gamer!

Kacey: No, that doesn't matter, but you need to be smart about it! You don't have a job! I mean, you've gotta be in so much debt!

Chris: [Sigh] Yeah well, you know, but-

Kacey: Chris, how are you gonna get this family you want if you have all this debt? I mean, and how do you pay off the credit cards?

Chris: Yeah, fortunately my, my father and my mother have decided to help me out there. They're paying my credit card bills and I'm paying them back.

Kacey: And you think they're gonna be there forever? You think they're always going to clean up after your mistakes?

Chris: No, no, I know they're not gonna clean up after my mistakes forever. And I, I'm not gonna make those mistakes again.

Kacey: I don't know, Chris. This has given me a lot to think about.

Chris: [Sigh] Well, if you want to talk-

Kacey: Maybe if you just would've not tried to be so serious, like I asked, I mean just, you know, ba-, but, I, you know, I had to get, I, this whole thing is just so suspicious.

Chris: [Sigh] Eh, wait a minute, this whole thing?

Kacey: Just everything! Everything that I, that I've been getting! In these emails! [Chris tries to talk] Everything my aunt found! [Chris sighs] Come on, don't act like you don't know what we're talking about. [Chris begins talking over her] You know that the trolls have been trolling me.

Chris: I d-, I do. I, I, I know, but, I know what we're talking about. I'm just processing it and remembering in my head.

Kacey: I know but I mean, you said you had a degree, right? So um, why aren't you doing anything with it? Like, when I get mine, I mean, I'm getting my PhD. I'm gonna be getting over $100,000 a year. What're YOU gonna be able to do? You've gotta THINK about that.

Chris: [Sigh] Look, my father tol-, my father enc-, encouraged me to get the, to go to a, computer drafting and design degree, he encouraged me to go to college in the first place!

Kacey: Then why aren't you using it?

Chris: I mean, because I don't know! I don't know how. I, I mean, I don't, I, I, I, I...

Kacey: You apply for a job that says you need this degree!

Chris: I know I have the compu-, a drafting and design degree and certificate, I've been taught that, I'd have to build buildings and whatever on the computer, about that, that-

Kacey: So why don't you do that instead of making a resume that has Sonichu and Rosechu on it? I know they're in a very important part of your life, but you could actually go do something.

Chris: [Sigh] Because, I just, uh, I just feel more comfortable with drawing the comics and the cartoons, than I do with the, uh, with just the, uh, with just the buildings and the computers and whatnot.

Kacey: Okay, well you know what? Well I feel a lot better drawing and doing, you know, singing and stuff than I do waitressing, but you know what? I have to be a productive member of society, and I have to go out and do my job every freaking day whether I rather be home talking to my friends, or going shopping, or doing whatever.

Chris: [long pause] I see.

Kacey: I mean, my aunt has done factual independent research, and found out a lot of these things are true that she found out. On her own. [Chris sighs] I mean, you can't-

Chris: [Trying to interrupt] I keep feeling-

Kacey: -always blame everything with the trolls and ED.

Chris: Okay, yeah, I'll admit that, you know, some of the things in the ED are true, but you know, they just take it and they-

Kacey: [Talking over Chris] Yes, I know that, I just told you they were!

Chris: -but they warp it around! They sla-, they make it worse. They're rewording it.

Kacey: But Chris, she has been able to verify this information in other places. I just said that it wasn't all ED.

Chris: [Sigh] I... [unintelligible]

Kacey: You need to start taking responsibility! I mean, I don't think anyone I know wants to stay in their job the whole time but I mean, I mean don't you wanna be a productive member of society? Don't you want- don't you want to go through your own potential? Maybe Sonichu and Rosechu isn't doing it right now, maybe you need to get your foot in the door first.

Chris: Yeah, I'm working on getting my foot in the door. I'm gonna buy a new co-, I'm gonna buy new a printer/scanner/copier next week, I'm gonna print out-

Kacey: For what? How is that gonna help you with your, with your CADD degree? How is that gonna help you utilize something that you went to school for?

Chris: I'm going to print out copies of my number zero book and then some, to send to Marvel, Dark Horse, and Archie comics with my resume, so then Sonichu and Rosechu books could be actually made to get me paper-published, and the merchandise to follow, the video games and all that, so that I could get a (good job) (?) - [Kacey interrupts]

Kacey: What if that doesn't work? What's your safety net? What if that doesn't work? [Pause, Chris sighs] Chris, loo-, look at Sonichu. It, it's not bad, but what if they don't like it? I mean, it's nothing like, you know, like any other comic books I've seen, and I mean, you, you hijack your own, your own comic and make it about you.

Chris: Yeah, that's true. But still, I mean, at least I have a worldwide fanbase, I'm very popular! I mean, that's even more than enough for any comic book company to uh, want to, want to accept me, and uh, let me work for them.

Kacey: Well, even if you have a fanbase, you know, they have, they, they don't go, they just aren't gonna-

Kacey: ["hire you"] -off of your fanbase. I mean, especially if you don't have factual proof of how many there are. They're going to show it to, um, groups that they have that do this for a living, and what happens if they don't like it? I mean, you need a backup plan. I can't believe you have a degree that's just sitting around gathering dust. You went to college! I mean, if I went to college, and just let my degree just sit there, and never got certified, or licensed...I mean what's the whole point? You, you've gotta do something with it.

Chris: [sigh] Yeah, maybe-

Kacey: Don't you think that would make your parents proud?

Chris: Yeah, my, I would like to make my parents proud. There's so many things in my life I'd like to do. As a matter of fact, you know, during the whole time, even, even while earning my degree, I never actually had a job game plan, during that, during that time, and even after I got my degree, I just did not know where to go. Just like I, just like the uh- [Kacey interrupts]

Kacey: They have career centers at every college for that! [Chris tries to talk, Kacey continues] But then, no, which, you can't even contact now, because you freaking, uh, you got yourself an order where you can't even go there! I mean, they have counselors to help, and you screwed that over, over- this stupid stuff! H-, how, how, why?!

Chris: [sigh] Mary Lee Walsh got me very mad. She interrupted my early days of my sweetheart search.

Kacey: Oh, and now it's back to Mary Lee Walsh, it's not you, right?

Chris: Well, I, you mean, you know, but the yeah, you know, that was the- [stammers]

Kacey: I thought you forgave her!

Chris: I, I mean, I did forgive her, but still, that's what caused that portion of the thing. I'm just, going back to that for the one time just to reference. Just to reference.

Kacey: Look, just because she didn't like how you were trying to get a girlfriend, does not equal you not being able to go on with your life.

Chris: [long pause, sigh]

Kacey: There are, there, I mean, okay, you, also, like let's, okay, you are on disability. The government has SO much for you. You could go to another college, and they would pay for most of it. They would, you know, they could help you so much, you just need to reach out! I mean, the only thing I'm looking at is that you're saying that, I mean, I just don't know. I mean, especially with you wanting to be a househusband, I mean is just, having sex and a girlfriend more important than having a job, than being a MAN? [Christian sighs] In other cultures, you would not survive.

Chris: I, I have the capabilities to survive. I have the capabilities-

Kacey: [interjects] Then do it!

Chris: -of cooking, I, I'm capable of being able to uh, do laundry, and, uh, and all of that.

Kacey: No! That's not what I'm talking about. You have a degree. You need to use it.

Chris: [LONG pause] I don't even know of any places around Charlottesville that are hiring for that sort of thing!

Kacey: Why don't you look on them? Go on the internet?

Chris: Even if, even though, even though my, even though Susan Hannifan at Piedmont, ehh, says that there are jobs like that around-

Kacey: CHRIS.

Chris: -Charlottesville, possibly available-

Kacey: Chris. You have a-

Chris: -even if I graduate-

Kacey: You have a CADD degree! You can do work from home! I mean, what happens if you found a great job and it wasn't in Charlottesville? Would it really be that bad if you had to move out of your parents' house?

Chris: [pause, pitiful sigh] I grew up in this house! It's like, you know, it's-

Kacey: You're 27, you have to leave sometime! Are you waiting for your parents to DIE or something?

Chris: No.

Kacey: Then what, you're just going to live there your whole life?

Chris: [stammering] I, I just don't know, it's just for awhile, I mean, I have been feeling uncomfortable. And I just have not found, I just don't, I, [voice climbs into a falsetto] so many things I need to GATHER in my head out of the whole lifetime, I just-

Kacey: Okay, Chris. CHRIS.

Chris: -and somebody needs to understand.

Kacey: Chris. Chris. You want me to be interested in you. But you're telling me right now that you want to live in your parents' house for the rest of your life? W- what?! And you think I'm gonna GO for that?

Chris: No, I did not say that, I mean, I mean like, you know, if things got that, got that far, I mean, I would be happy to move in with YOU, if that was the case. But I, I'm just- [sigh]

Kacey: But you can't do something for yourself?

Chris: [sigh] Yeah I just...Uh, so many things tied up with this one house, it- (?) [Kacey talks over him]

Kacey: Okay, let's say that you did move in with me, what are you gonna do? Are you just gonna sit around and draw Sonichu and Rosechu, or are you gonna actually go out and do something?

Chris: I would actually go out and do something.

Kacey: W-why can't you do that first? Why can't you prove to me that first? [Chris sighs] I mean, what are you gonna do?

Chris: [pause, sigh] Well...[sigh] I would go out, see if, see if I could find somebody who would hire me?

Kacey: Well...I mean, I don't know why you don't just do that right now. I mean, we have the internet, that's so easy. What would, would, would you do?

Chris: [sigh] Well, even when it comes to the internet, I don't know what to put into the search term. That just, that, [trails off unintelligibly]

Kacey: Put in CADD! Put in your degree! [laughs] It's not that hard! Any...simpleton can figure it out!

Chris: ...and then there are more details to where I just, couldn't, I, I just don't comprehend yet. [sigh]

Kacey: But Chris, seriously. Y-you need to take this seriously. This is ridiculous.

Chris: Y-yes, it is ridiculous.

Kacey: I mean, maybe, I...I don't know what to say. I really don't. You're just giving me excuses why you don't need to productive. I mean, are you just gonna...you're just gonna sit around? I mean, you don't even know what kind of job you can get with a CADD degree, do you.

Chris: Yeah, that is one, that is one problem, yes.

Kacey: Well I mean, it's, it's simple, you even said something like, buildings and stuff... I mean, come on! Why don't, why don't you research this? You could go to Wikipedia, for God's sakes, and find out what you can do with a CADD degree. [short pause] You just want to sit around and collect your tugboat for the rest of your life, don't you.

Chris: No, I don't want to just sit around, and collect my tugboat... [trails off]

Kacey: Then why haven't you done anything? It's been years since you've been in school.

Chris: ...I, I'm sorry, what was that?

Kacey: It's been years since you've been in school.

Chris: Oh yeah, I have been-

Kacey: Why haven't, why haven't you done anything yet? I mean, most people take a gap year, but that's...a...YEAR. ONE YEAR. Not... forever!

Chris: [long pause] Yeah, you're right. [another pause] I've just, I've been feeling wayward.

Kacey: [pause] ...Wayward?

Chris: [mumbles] Yeah...lost. I didn't know what to DO.

Kacey: Well, you're gonna stay lost until you actually DO something! Or, you know what, try to go to a school that you're NOT banned from, and get a degree in something you really WANT to do. Why aren't you going into art or something?

Chris: [long sigh] I didn't think of that when I first applied for a degree- (?)

Kacey: [interrupting] Why don't you do something now? I mean, I'm only one year younger than you, and I'm going to school now. I changed my major, it's not hard. And, you CAN get help. It's a lot harder for me.

Chris: ...Yeah.

Kacey: Some people have multiple degrees. I mean, look at me. I'm double-majoring AND minoring.

Chris: ...Huh. ...Yeah.

Kacey: But, you're not going to do anything. Just, something tells me you're just not.

Chris: I'm going to do something! I just...I'm just...processing all this in my head, so then I can figure out, what to do. I mean, my current plan, is to, try to get myself published at Marvel, DC, or Dark Horse, or even-

Kacey: You need to, just, yeah, but you need a backup plan. Forget about that. Forget about that. You need to start by getting a job somewhere. I mean, okay. Okay, also, do you know why? Do it for Rosechu and Sonichu. 'Cause seriously, like, are they going to take you seriously when they see you've been out of work for a long time? Even starving artists do something. I mean, seriously, be a fry cook (??) do SOMETHING. Most people in comics have an art degree anyway. [pause, Christian sighs] And besides, I mean, how far are you really going to GO? When you- made a character out of two copyrighted characters. And, your comics are FULL of things that are copyrighted. I mean, I know they're like private jokes and everything-

Chris: [interrupts huffily] It's called, it's called a parody.

Kacey: It doesn't seem like a parody. [Christian sighs again.] A parody generally makes fun of things. Are you making fun of Sonic?

Chris: No. I just, I'm just...I'm, I'm just accentuating on some of the things that I like!

Kacey: Okay, but then, that's, that's a fan comic! That's not a comic, that is fan FICTION. [Chris sighs again] That's like Mary Sue shit!

Chris: [uncomprehending] ...What?

Kacey: You can't sell it! It's just fan fiction!

Chris: [long pause, sigh, pause] ...I don't know. But anyway, I'm gonna try, anyway, anyway, uh, Plan A, I'm gonna try for, to get myself paper-published and, uh, all that. But yeah, Plan B I'll, I'll definitely take everything that we talked about into consideration. I, I'll Google Computer Aided Drafting and Design and see what I can get with that degree. Or even, I, because, you know, my family could not, because you know, we can't, my family could not afford to, uh, at this time, to even get me classes, even at University of Virginia, which is more expensive than Piedmont.

Kacey: Okay, but you need permission from the original copyright holders to sell this! Like, you try to sell Sonichu and Rosechu, and Nintendo, and Sega and Konami are gonna be on your ass!

Chris: [pause, sigh] I tried to get Nintendo to...

Kacey: I mean, didn't you think about that? You think they're not gonna see that?

Chris: I thought, I thought about that, and I tried to- [unintelligible]

Kacey: [interjecting] Chris. CHRIS. These people have lawyers, and their job is to just go everything on the internet to find something they can sue over. I'm sur-

Kacey: -prised that they didn't FIND it already. ...And if they didn't find it already, how famous can Sonichu really be? 'Cause this is their job. Their JOB is to cause lawsuits.

Chris: [long pause] Well they, they, if that was their job, they would have sued me years ago.

Kacey: Then I guess, maybe, Sonichu isn't as big as you thought. I'm not trying to be mean, here. This is tough love, Chris. I mean...you've gotta do something. It's reality.

Chris: Yeah. [pause] I know, I have to do something. I want to do something.

Kacey: So, okay, then what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do tomorrow? What are you gonna do tomorrow then.

Chris: I'll Google computer-aided drafting and design (?) and, I'll Google CADD, and Charlottesville, and see what jobs are available around here. I, I, I'll leave a message for Mr. Will, and see if I can get a work ticket, on my, on my, degree. On my- [Kacey cuts him off]

Kacey: Do you know what I want you to do tomorrow? Do you know what I want you to do? [Chris says something unintelligible] I want you to go out, and put out an application or two. Can you do that? Apply for Target, apply for McDonald's, do something. I want to know, and I want proof, that you are applying for something.

Chris: Yeah...I'll, I'll go apply for, I'll go apply, I'll go, I'll go out and apply for, look for some jobs, yeah.

Kacey: You'd better. I mean, even WalMart will hire anyone. Do WalMart.

Chris: ...Alright. I'll go for WalMart. [pause] But it, and also, you know, I still don't understand, how many, what my maximum hours a week are I can work for and keep my Social Security, because I know, that makes, I know I'm getting more a month than I could at any job like WalMart.

Kacey: Okay, well...[pause] You better apply for something, or else I just don't know what I'm gonna do. I, I'm definitely gonna... think on this. I mean, and it doesn't matter, if you don't go over certain hours, they'll do you part-time, and then it won't hurt yer tugboat. And you know what, even if you made less, couldn't, couldn't just the pride of knowing you accomplished something be enough? That's the kind of guy that girls want. Not someone who goes, "Oh, I could get more just sitting around doing nothing." And you could get benefits. I mean, come on, isn't that, isn't that worth it?

Chris: ...Yeah. It is worth it. It, and it takes, it just took somebody, it took, it took somebody like you to, uh, make me realize, about the poten-, about the, all that, and that's what, that's what I should be doing.

Kacey: I mean, there's tons of disabled people who work. I mean, you like Goodwill a lot, they help out people, and I'm sure they still get their quote-unquote "tugboats." And they're productive.

Chris: [pause, sigh] Yeah. I'll go out, I'll go, I'll go, fill out some applications tomorrow, and, uh, like at WalMart and Target, and see if they'll, see if they'll hire me, you know. Even the, even the work, like, a maximum of like, ten hours a week. That's, I mean, I don't know if it's ten or fifteen hours maximum for, you know, not, yeh, I mean, I'll try for ten hours at first.

Kacey: ...Okay.

Chris: Alright.

Kacey: But I mean, if you can, if you can get up to twenty hours without hurting your tugboat, I want you to do the full twenty. I want you to really go gung-ho on this.

Chris: If I can get, if I can get the full twenty I can go, I'll do that. But I'll, I'll start small with ten.

Kacey: No. You need to ask for at least twenty. That's still part-time.

Chris: Hmmm. Yeah. Alright. Well I mean, you know, when I apply with other people, I'll ask, I'll try to go, try to shoot for, like, ten. Just as a, just as a, like-

Kacey: No, you put, you put ten to twenty then. At least put ten to twenty. But I want you to do twenty. You can't even just do that for me. That's like, nothing. That's like, even if you work four days a week, that's five hours.

Chris: I, I, I'll, I'll do it. I'll, I'll put in ten to twenty hours. And I'll still have, still have to talk to my Social Security people about uh, this as well.

Kacey: I'm pretty sure you can get anywhere, you know, up to twenty hours. You can probably get that online.

Chris: All right, I'll, I'll look into it online, and I'll, uh, on the application I'll put ten to twenty hours. On the application.

Kacey: You'd better dress nice too, are you gonna dress nice for this? I mean, just in case?

Chris: Yeah, I, I, I'll dress nice. I'll dress nice for the interview, yes. I can do that.

Kacey: Don't, don't wear your medallion.

Chris: [softly, defeated] Okay, I'm not gonna wear my medallion.

Kacey: I know that's a part of you, but that, that's not gonna be allowed. Like, I can't even wear necklaces, and I'm a girl.

Chris: ...Hm.

Kacey: That's like, that's like having piercings going to an interview, it's stupid.

Chris: ...Yeah.

Kacey: And don't, don't draw on the applications!

Chris: I will not draw on the applications.

[long pause]

Kacey: Okay, I, I just hope this is really sinking in. Because, I, I have a feeling you're not into this.

Chris: It is, it is sinking in. I'm really going to do it.

Kacey: Besides, you should put twenty hours a week, because that's just the maximum. They're probably not going to give you that anyway, you'll probably end up with ten, but put twenty.

Chris: I will put twenty. On the application.

Kacey: Good, because it's gonna make you look a lot more serious, too.

Chris: ...Yeah, I do need to be more serious. On that.[pause] I'm going to do it.

Kacey: Okay.

Chris: I'm going to, I want to-

Kacey: I hope so.

Chris: I'm going to look for a job at uh, WalMart, and Target, and fill out applications...and I'm gonna work a maximum of twenty hours. I'm going to do this.

Kacey: Okay, good. That's good.

Chris: ...Kacey?

Kacey: Yes?

Chris: Thank you.

Kacey: You're welcome.

Chris: I want you to know that, if you, you know, even though it's tough love, it's all sinking in. It really is. I'm gonna, I'm gonna do it.

Kacey: Okay. I hope you do.

Chris: And I hope you know, I appreciate you giving me, I appreciate you giving me the...tough love that I needed.

Kacey: Okay. ...Well, um, I've gotta go now, so. I hope this all sinks in, but I've really gotta go.

Chris: Okay, I'll talk to you later.

Kacey: Okay, alright. [hangs up]

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