Colin Chat 1

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"Colin Chat 1" consists of a caustic dialogue between Chris and the troll Colin. Colin was the third spoke of a love triangle with Chris and Catherine in September and October 2014. Despite apologizing to Colin in a video on 4 October, bad blood remained between the two gentlemen for some time afterwards. The chatlog took place on 11 October 2014. Chris had called Colin and Catherine in the middle of the previous night.

An interesting side note concerns Chris's list of the "Few One Percent of the Males" of whom he approves.


  • Chris attempted to call Catie the previous night.
  • Chris tells Colin he should get stung by a scorpion while biking with his "bully brothers".
  • Chris is jealous of Colin's wealth.
  • Chris wants to engage in tribadism with a lesbian using his taint piercing.
  • Throughout the chat, Chris makes his contempt for Colin clear. He repeatedly insults his appearance (calling him a bald, uncloth JERK and that his forehead reflects poo light).
  • Chris has no problem with the concept of Catie shoving a strap-on dildo up his ass.
  • Chris names a number of black celebrities and MLP voice actors to prove he isn't racist. Among those in the list is Bill Cosby (who would end up under investigation a few months later for multiple cases of sexual assault.)


[1:42 PM] Colin: I didn't answer because you called when Catherine and I were in bed. Catherine wasn't happy about it either, Nice move.
[1:42 PM] Colin: You're afraid of me otherwise you wouldn't have called at a time you knew I would probably be asleep and wouldn't answer the phone.
[3:48 PM] Colin: I'm not going to call you back because Catherine and I have better thinks to do right now. She knows your avoiding me because you're scared of me. BTW, she's pissed at you for waking us up this morning. What were you thinking calling at that hour?
[3:51 PM] Chris: Call it an impulse, implied by another friend of ours, to leave you a voicemail. And I am not avoiding you; why would I be afraid of a damn bully like you?
[3:51 PM] Chris: Why don't you get on your motorcycle, and join your bully brothers at the bar in the desert, and get stung by a scorpion?
[4:09 PM] Colin: WTF is that even supposed to mean? You really are a child, aren't you. Run along now. Catherine and I have grownup things to do. Maybe I'll have time for you later.
[4:15 PM]Colin: WTF makes you think I'm a biker. I showed that to Catherine. She thought it was hysterical.
[4:19 PM] Chris: I am not a child; I am an adult like you. I was being ironic on you, because you've had "the good life" growing up, with all this money falling into your lap.
[4:19 PM] Chris: One would figure you to be soo spendy and superficial.
[4:20 PM] Chris: I am on the road right now; I will be joining my fellow Lesbians at the "Wish Me Away" showing event in CVille. Catherine would have enjoyed the movie on this NCOD.
[4:30 PM] Colin: Hate to break it to you man, but lesbians don't have penises. They're not really a big fan of them either. LOL.
[4:33 PM] Chris: My Lesbian Soul links better to them, and the Ugly Growth is easy to conceal under my skin. And satisfactory a Tribadism is easy with a piercing on my taint where my clit is, city boy.
[4:38 PM] Colin: You don't have a clit you have a PENIS. Good luck trying to hide it if you ever manage to get some lesbian interested in having sex with you.
[4:42 PM] Chris: Tucking it in is easy with an empty strap-on (no dildo), the sphere makes up for the faults of this ill-Damned gender I was forced to be born to. Maybe I'll lend the dildo to you, so you can shove it up yours.
[4:45 PM] Chris: And, by the way, among which, You give the Males a Most Terrible and Horrible Name in your behavior. Most Uncouth.
[4:46 PM] Chris: You have no soul, Colin; You are Shallow.
[4:48 PM] Chris: And your forehead is so bald, the sun could reflect off of it and blind everyone in its shaded brown light; Blinded By Poo Light!
[4:50 PM] Colin: LOL. That stung. At least Catherine likes the penis. I'd let her use a strap on on me if she wanted.
[4:50 PM] Chris: I saw your photograph from your trip to somewhere; your pose is like, what the hell is that? It really shows off your lackadaisical colors and irresponsibilities in your brain.
[4:51 PM] Colin: LOL. I'm going to show that one to Catherine. Better to have a shaved head than a skullet. You should really wash your hair sometime.
[4:51 PM] Chris: And I would take a shove up mine from her as well, regardless of the discomforting Pain up my intestine it would give me.
[4:52 PM] Chris: It must hurt you that you know someone who is well-read and knowledges enough to overshadow your pseudo-intellect.
[4:52 PM] Colin: LOL, you're one funny mofo, deranged and paranoid, but fucking hilarious.
[4:54 PM] Chris: I wash my hair nightly in a bath of clean water, soap, shampoo and conditioner. Why don't you clean up your greasy skin from your rummaging in your Money Bin Dives and Swim Meets?
[4:57 PM] Chris: You and Quinn Morgandorfer ought to get along well; you are both shallow, you talk like there's no tomorrow in offense, and you laugh at everything that is Soo Last Year! "Ha! Ha!"
[4:58 PM] Colin: What's with the poo reference? Are you just being childish with your silly insults or are you making some kind of racist remark here?
[4:59 PM] Chris: Not racist; realistic: light shining through a Red Lens would come out Red: green to Green, and so on.
[5:00 PM] Colin: Well read? You? In your emails you can barely string sentences together. LOL. I spent 5 years in England and got my doctorate from Oxford.
[5:00 PM] Chris: How about you take a spin on the color wheel, and get dizzy in the spiraling rainbow?
[5:01 PM] Colin: LOL. WTF does that even mean?
[5:03 PM] Chris: I have maintained Honor Roll throughout Middle and High School, earned my Diploma, made the Dean's List in good grades, and earned a Degree and a Certificate in Computer Aided Drafting and Design with Computer Automated Mechanics. I was being Artistically Humorous; call it a colourful play on words.
[5:04 PM] Chris: Oh, Barry found you in the Storage Locker he paid One Dollar for, and referred to you as Nuclear-Stained Rubbish!
[5:06 PM] Chris: In fact, Brandi looked over you, and told Jarrod, "that boy toy in there is not worth one red cent; I would not even feed him to our dogs."
[5:09 PM] Colin: Sounded pretty fucking racist to me. So you've got a 2 year degree? Not impressed. I earned my Masters Degree when I was 21 and I finished my PhD last year.
[5:13 PM] Chris: Oh! Jeremy Hillary Boob got a PhD as well; the Nowhere Man ended up falling with a "Phud". You are welcome to your own interpretation; my wording was not meant initially as racist, but to hear you say it makes you sound as racist as Uncle Ruckus (No Relation). "Don't Trust Them People Over There"; He was referring to you. I would never use the "N" word.
[5:18 PM] Colin: LOL Jealous much? Your childish and inept attempts at insults or humor or whatever the fuck it is just prove my point. You seriously need to grow up.
[5:19 PM] Chris: Your bullying shows me YOU NEED TO GROW UP, Little Boyle of the Boondocks.
[5:21 PM] Colin: LOL, what are you gonna do? Have your mommy tell me off? Make a video and call me mean names? You're lucky you were only friend-zoned.
[5:23 PM] Chris: Besides which, YOU started dishing the insults upon me; I'm just catching up. You are like school on Sunday; No Class!
[5:42 PM] Chris: I actually like my black brothers and sisters; I am not a racist or bigot. Bill Cosby is a funny person; I liked his show, as well as Fat Albert. In fact, you are like the Rudy character, because you have been a LOT of Rude to Me since we started talking. Between Bill Cosby, Jean Kelly, Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, Jerry Seinfeld, Tim Allen, Kelsey Grammer and Red Skelton, they stand well with the Few One Percent of the Males who are actually decent and respectable. I also like Britney Spears, Lucille Ball, Pamela Anderson, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Sarah Silverman, Patricia Routledge, Melissa Etheridge, and the women on "Girls" and "Sex and the City" (Carrie, Miranda, Samantha AND Charlotte)! You, Colin, occupy and represent most awfully the 99% Majority of the Stereotypical, Superficial, Phony, Superficial, Argumentive, Trouble-Starting, Lack of true Empathy or Compassion, Trolling-Stupid, Bullying/CyberBulling MALES in this Entire World that I can't help but feel Lack of Respect and Shame for. I Hate Being Born A Male, and after I have my children, I am getting an Organ Sex Change Operation! I would even get my breasts enlarged to a C Cup Anytime. In Your Face.
[5:52 PM] Chris: Tara Strong, Ashleigh Ball, Andrea Libman, Tabitha St. Germaine, Betty White, Jane Leeves; I like them very much as well.
[5:57 PM] Chris: MMS Received
[5:58 PM] Chris: My mother is a Breast Cancer Survivor!

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