Kacey Call 24

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The last call between Kacey and Solid Chris. A wide range of topics such as Barb being sick, job hunting at Target, cleaning his room, Kacey allowing her gay friends to touch her boobs, Chris's sexuality were discussed.


  • Chris says that his mom had food poisoning, so they went to a doctor and found out that it wasn't food poisoning. So they went back to the restaurant to complain anyways.
  • Chris is amazed that families and friends of cancer patients will shave their heads to support the person with cancer.
  • Kacey asks about Chris's room getting cleaned. Chris is "still working on it!", but Kim suggested that Chris take his Lego city apart. Kacey asks for pictures. Chris will think about it.
  • Chris is still trying to get a job at Target, but has applied to two other stores.
  • Chris was talking to a girl named Regina, the girl whose father bought Chris's two Guitar Hero guitars. Chris went to meet her, and she didn't show up.
  • Chris talks about the Emily date, and claims that the man in the pickle suit's name is Harold.
  • Chris talks about the PVCC trolling him, and Kacey says that such an organization doesn't exist and he just thinks too much of himself. Chris says they do it for the L-U-L-Z (spells it out).
  • Chris gets stressed out when Kacey says that he's not important enough to spend that much effort on.
  • Chris claims that he gets lots of emails from men asking him on dates. Kacey says that's a compliment, and he doesn't come off as straight. This makes Chris yell in a high pitched voice: "OH JESUS CHRIST! I'M STRAIGHT! WHAT THE HELL!"
  • Kacey says it's common sense to not reply to trolls. Chris says "Let me tell you about common sense," and says that he had sex with a FEMALE BLOW UP DOLL, not a male blow up doll, so it's obvious that he's straight!
  • Kacey says that Chris should just be bisexual. Chris yells "I HATE LOOKING AT PENISES!"
  • Kacey: "I have gay friends, and they're always grabbing my boobs! It's okay because they're gay!"
  • Kacey tells Chris to stop sighing because it makes him sound like a baby. Also to stop saying "whatever." He sighs several times while Kacey talks.
  • Chris asks what Kacey wants to talk about, and Kacey says she doesn't care unless Chris can tutor her in her Statistics class. Chris says that he's really good at it and that he can help her with it.


Kacey Call 24
Stardate 31 August 2009
Featuring Chris; Kacey
Saga LiquidLiquid Liquid Saga
Audio Recordings
Kacey Call 23
Father Call

Chris: Hello?

Kacey: Hey Chris, it's Kacey.

Chris: Hi Kacey, how are you?

Kacey: I'm good, just a little tired.

Chris: Yeah, I got to agree.

Kacey: So how are you?

Chris: Yeah, I'm fair myself. I just uh, read your email. Did you read my reply I sent back to you?

Kacey: Yeah, actually, I did.

Chris: Yeah, pretty much in a nutshell, that's what's been happening lately.

Kacey: Um, that sucks about your mom, I give my condolences, I hope she feels better. But, um... how did they know that she had food poisoning?

Chris: Yeah, I mean, that my, that was my father and mine's theory at first, but then you know, we took her to Martha Jefferson, then, and then the doctors classified... classified the ailment as colitis.

Kacey: Oh, well that's definitely not food poisoning.

Chris: Yeah, I mean well-

Kacey: You guys shouldn't have gone back there to talk to them then, 'cause it's obviously not them...

Chris: Hm. Yeah, well, I mean, still. Uh, you know, my mom, after today... she was having gut pains, and... yeah, she was like, "Yeah, take the uh, there's the uh, majority of the food I left behind, I had but I had not eaten, so you know, you just take it back to them, and uh, tell 'em what happened." She was like, you know, um, my father and I, we just like, you know, we couldn't do much to respond, you know....Mom was... all up, all up on top of the world here kind of, you know? Uh...

Kacey: How long ago did it happen? I mean, did either of you eat it and get sick from it too?

Chris: Uh, no, my father and I did not eat it.

Kacey: Besides, if she has colitis she shouldn't be eating food like that. You said it was Chinese, right? I mean, that food's loaded with MSG and salt and fat, that's like the worst thing she could be doing right now.

Chris: Yeah, well I mean, I mean, none of us knew about the colitis yet. So...

Kacey: But still, it's definitely not food poisoning, it's her body telling her what she's eating is wrong. Like did she get put on a diet?

Chris: Yeah, she can't eat much, uh, salty or sugary foods, or drinks, now.

Kacey: No, definitely not. Is she sticking to it?

Chris: Yeah, she's, yeah, she just got started on it.

Kacey: So then what type of things is she eating?

Chris: Uh, you know, just basically, um... I'd say, mostly, um... fruits and vegetables...Um, I'm not sure what else at the time-

Kacey: Well, fruits and vegetables are high in sugar.

Chris: Hm. Well-

Kacey: Maybe you should join her in her diet to support her, it could be good for you.

Chris: Hm, alright well, I'm not sure, I'm not really sure of, uh, of her diet. But, uh, you know, I can, I can like, you know... um... I can have her tell me more about it. But right now-

Kacey: You should, I mean it's good. You know cancer patients, their whole family shaves their heads, I mean you should totally do it, so that, number one, it'll help you get healthier; number two, it'll help your mom that you're there for her.

Chris: Wait wait wait wait wait... Cancer, families of cancer patients actually shave their heads?

Kacey: Yeah, it's a show of soli-, you know, togetherness? When the cancer patient goes into chemo and loses their hair, a lot of family members will do that, you know, to show that they're all together in this.

Chris: Oh.

Kacey: It's pretty inspirational.

Chris: Huh.

Kacey: I mean, and all you would have to do is diet.

Chris: Yeah. Yeah...alright. Yeah, well. Yeah, I'll talk to my mom about uh, this diet she's on and uh... I'll see if I can get on that as well. But anyway-

Kacey: You totally should.

Chris: Yeah. I, yeah. But right now she's, right now she's sleeping. But still you know, I'll talk to her next time she's awake. About that.

Kacey: Definitely, I think that would be good for you.

Chris: [sigh]

Kacey: How is your room coming along?

Chris: Yeah. I'm still working on it, uh...I, uh...Kim and I agreed that, uh...yeah, Kim convinced me that, you know, I'm planning on uh, taking my city, my Lego city apart, piece by piece, and putting the pieces into, into buckets.

Kacey: Oh, that's a good idea.

Chris: Yeah, so I'm gonna start on that, I'm gonna start on that soon enough. But, you know-

Kacey: You should take some more pictures and send them to me along with progress, you should probably do it like every other day. I mean, 'cause you were supposed to have this done, I mean how much longer do you think it's gonna take?

Chris: [Pause] Yeah, it'll take me a while longer, plus you know, recent, plus you know, last weekend I had to worry about my mom being in the, being in the hospital.

Kacey: Right.

Chris: So...

Kacey: But you should still push yourself to do it, it'll probably make your mom feel better too.

Chris: Yeah well, yeah, I, yeah, I'm going to work on that this week. On that-

Kacey: Awesome, don't forget to send me pictures, give me something to get my mind of everything too.

Chris: Yeah, OK. Alright. Hm... Yeah, I'm sorry to hear about you possibly losing your job and failing in class, what happened?

Kacey: Um, well we have a new manager, and he's just a jerk, and he wants his own people in there, and class, well, I've just been having issues with it, and being able to get to the class, so it's something I can recover, you know, I've just had a lot going on. Especially with work and everything, 'cause sometimes I've had to pick up during the class, and it's just one big mess, but I'm working to fix it and I might have a new job soon.

Chris: OK. well, I hope uh... I hope that, you know, at your next job, you'll be successful. Or like, you know, um... you know, that you'll have it. Hm. Yeah, 'cause I would hate to see you without a job at this point. [Pause] Oh, by the way I still have, by the way, apparently, uh... it's like, you know, I have, um... yeah, I have not heard back from Target, and I called them like, you know, I think it was, yeah, the last... the weekend before this recent weekend. And, I have not heard back. So, it's like, I think it's pretty obvious at this point I did not get a job there, but I'm submitting applications for, uh, places like uh, Barnes & Noble and Sears, even a new CVS that's being built in Ruckersville.

Kacey: Hm. Have you heard back from anywhere?

Chris: No, not yet. But I, but I, like you know, I'm planning on, I'm planning on checking in with them to see if they got my applications.

Kacey: Definitely.

Chris: 'Cause I had to go online to do the applications. For these places. As well. [Pause] Hm. Yeah. Yeah... but upon, yeah, let me go, let me go off topic here a bit, uh... Yeah, about uh, Regina, the girl I was just telling you about, that uh...

Kacey: Right.

Chris: ...whose father I sold two guitars to on eBay. Yeah, I mean like, we were, it was like you know, we were getting along...great, you know. I've been mostly telling her about the pos-, about my positive characteristics. Not one, not once mentioning the, uh, trolls or names like Gregg Mays and whatever. And then, uh... and then... you know like, we had the pick-up time scheduled, you know, uh... but, today at two o'clock at the, uh, McDonald's on Barracks Road... but then she doesn't show up, but then I come home and I find the e-mail and it's like, "Oh I get the, oh, I got the, oh, I was intercepted by Gregg Mays and he had two, and he had two guitars, with no paint, with all paint and stickers removed." And so, he charged her half price for it. And it was like you know, she thinks as if she still bought it from me, or she's giving off that impression, but... Uhh, but yeah, I'm thinking basically I got troll-, I got trolled again. And like you know-

Kacey: Well it sounds like she got trolled too.

Chris: Yeah, or like you, yeah or like you know, like she's one of the, she's one them, just like, uh...the past time at the mall, I think her name was Emily. And then we were, and then, uh, being intercepted by Harold, that guy in the pickle suit. Uh... and I think, uh, I think, you know, Kim could tell you more about that, you know, there are audio files, you know, that girl had a wire on her. And the, uh, audio-

Kacey: How do you know she had a wire on?

Chris: [annoyed sigh] Because, the, I found the audio file later, on the, uh... Miscreants webpage that was originally created by Clyde Cash-slash-Gregg Mays.

Kacey: Hmm.

Chris: Yeah. Uh, but anyway, then Kim, then I talked to Kim about it and she convinces me like, you know, Regina could be just, uh, an innocent victim and it's just a whole bunch of misunderstandings and whatnot. So...

Kacey: It probably is, Chris, I mean it's not like the whole world's against you. You really don't think that, do you?

Chris: Hm. No...I don't think think the whole world is against me, just some, it's just some of the people, it's just the whole buncha people out of a whole, out of a big vast majority.

Kacey: You really think there's a group devoted to trolling you?

Chris: Yeah, Kim can tell you about that, there's forums and everything.

Kacey: Why? I mean, why would a group of people devote themselves to you? I mean, have you ever done anything wrong?

Chris: [getting more stressed and whiny] I had originally done nothing wrong! As far as I, as far as I know, I-

Kacey: But then, why would they be devoted to trolling you?

Chris: I don't know why! I don't know why they started...[Sigh] I don't even know why that, why the Encyclopedia Dramatica page got started in the first place. I mean, I mean, other than the fact that they were doing it for the... L-U-L-Z]].

Kacey: The what?

Chris: L-U-L-Z. You know, they call it "LULZ". Or like, you know-

Kacey: So... they're doing it for laughs? I doubt there is a group dedicated to trolling you just because it's fun.

Chris: [Sigh]

Kacey: I mean, are you telling the truth?

Chris: Yeah I-

Kacey: I mean are you sure you didn't do anything to any of them? I think we've talked about this before.

Chris: I am telling, I am telling you the truth. I am telling you the truth, Kacey. I swear to God. And Kim can back you up on that, she can tell you about these forums. And whatnot.

Kacey: That weird though, that's really weird, I mean are you really that important?

Chris: [offended sigh] Hm. Well, I'm internet famous. Uh, for one thing, but, I don't think I would be THAT important, I mean, the way these trolls keep carrying on they make it like I'm as, I'm as important or more important than Britney Spears! [Pause] Jeez...[Sigh] What a mess that, what a mess the whole trolling thing is. [Sigh] But, I just take it one step at a time, you know, and I'm block-, and I'm continuing to uh, block any naysayers, that send me negative e-mails. On my, on my, on my AOL address.

Kacey: Hm. That's good.

Chris: Yeah.

Kacey: I mean, what do you consider a negative e-mail?

Chris: Well like you know, people... I- for one thing, here's a... I'm giving you, like, maybe one or two examples of the top of my head upon recollection... Um, one thing is like, you know, the inclination of people... mislabeling me as a homosexual, or... dudes asking me out on a homosexual date, or making me, or asking me to do anything homosexual when I'm not, and it's pretty hard for me to-

Kacey: You should take that as a compliment! I mean, maybe you're giving off the wrong impression to them.

Chris: [stunned] What, come on, I mean-

Kacey: I mean, you might be attracting these gay people.

Chris: [disgusted sigh] But anyway, I'm STRAIGHT. But, you know-

Kacey: Well, maybe people don't think that, maybe you're not coming off as that. You ever think about that?

Chris: Ugh, come on you know me, I'm- You know I'm straight. And- [stammering incoherently]

Kacey: But THEY don't.

Chris: [getting angrier] Ugh, I've been telling them, I've been telling them NUMEROUS TIMES now in the YouTube videos that I'm straight!

Kacey: Maybe they think you're just being shy.

Chris: Ahh, THEY'RE STUPID! I, I mean, I even, I even reflected so much about my, uh, about my, uh, how I feel about the homosexuals, I just don't... care that much about them, I just don't wanna get too close to them...

Kacey: Chris, remember that usually when you protest too much, [Chris sighs] then it usually is true.


Kacey: They just think you're in the closet. I mean, you...

Chris: I'M STRAIGHT!!! I'm straight!

Kacey: Chris, but you make so many videos about NOT being straight, I mean, it actually HURTS you. Like, if you just let it go...

Chris: Wait, wait, time out, time out, wait. Making videos about me NOT being straight, what the HELL?

Kacey: No, about BEING STRAIGHT, it hurts you because they're like, "Oh, he's just covering it up."

Chris: Oh, Jesus...[Sigh]

Kacey: I mean you should just ignore it.

Chris: [Chris sighs and tries to change the subject] Ah, whatever, but anyway like I, like I said, I add the, I add those names, I add those people, those are... The subject of those people who send me such e-mails, I add to my block list. That's uh, one thing. Another thing is like you know... like you know, or like you know, they just tell me like you know, "Fuck you," or "You're a failure," or any negative comments like that, I add them to the block list as well. Or even more recently like you know, oh shh-, you know, yeah, "We're continuing the talks about your copyright being stolen," that's just a false rumor and it's not been stolen. I recovered that e-mail. So like you know, I add them to the block list as well. I don't even have to open the e-mail, it's ob-, it say-, they just say it in the subject line. [Pause] Yeah. Anyway, yeah those, those are some of the examples of uh, people, uh, who I add to the block list.

Kacey: Chris, why does being called gay make you so angry anyway? I mean if it's not true it just shouldn't hurt you at all.

Chris: Because it's a mislabeling! I hate being mislabeled!

Kacey: But you should just ignore it, or else they're gonna think that you're mad because you're hiding something.

Chris: Ugh, Jesus...

Kacey: I mean Chris, this is just common sense.

Chris: Yeah... You know, let me, let me tell you something else, you know, uh, "common sense"... I, you know, yeah, there is a, there is a video of me... uh... having sex with a blow-up woman, with a blow-up doll, that's like a wom-, a blow-up female doll, alright? I mean that, I mean, I, the blow-up doll is a woman, and if I was a homosexual, I'd be blowing up, I'd be blowing up a... dude doll.

Kacey: I don't think it matters because dolls don't really have genders. That could be interpreted either way.

Chris: But I-

Kacey: I've heard people could be bisexual. It doesn't matter.

Chris: [stress noises] Yeah but I mean, it's obvious that the doll is, is a woman, the doll looks like a woman. With the boobs, and the long hair, and the-

Kacey: It's just plastic, Chris. It doesn't matter.

Chris: Yeah. I uh, I know it was a piece of plastic, and it wouldn't, and it wouldn't know, but still-

Kacey: So it doesn't make you straight, and it doesn't make you gay.

Chris: [double stress sigh] Well yeah, well...[stress breathing] Ahh, a buncha things. Yeah. Yeah, but anyway, still, like you know, I'm just going, I'm just going, I just been going overboard in this conversation... And, yeah, but most of the time I would, most of the time nowadays I do just ignore that.

Kacey: Well you should, but I mean it just seems like this really gets to you, because you don't get this mad at anything else, not even when they claim to have your copyrights or anything else, like you just always get so angry over the gay thing, it's just really weird. You know?

Chris: [Sigh] Oh, jeez...

Kacey: I mean it wouldn't be bad. You could be bisexual and it wouldn't be bad, I mean-

Chris: No, no, I am not bisexual, I'm STRAIGHT. I have- I HATE looking at penises! I love looking at vaginas!

Kacey: Well, I mean that doesn't make you straight or gay, if you just LOOK...I mean, gay guys actually love to look at girls' chests, did you know that?

Chris: [quiet, frustrated sigh]

Kacey: I mean, they're fascinated by them, even if they don't find them sexy.

Chris: I find wom-, I find women a lot more sexier... than any dude, I don't even... I mean, I, yeah, we talked about this before, we... we talked about this before.

Kacey: I just think it's amusing that you get so angry. I mean, I have gay friends, and they're always like, grabbing my boobs or something, and it's OK because they're gay and everything, but it's like, gay guys love boobs, it's hilarious.

Chris: [sighs disgustedly, waits a few seconds, then sighs again] Whatev-, whatever. I- Yeah, uh, whatever. Let's not, let's not talk about that anymore, um... Uh...

Kacey: You should stop sighing, Chris, that doesn't sound like a normal adult, that's like... little upset toddler behavior.

Chris: [tries not to sigh]

Kacey: I mean, don't say "whatever" to me either, it's kind of rude.

Chris: [annoyed sigh]

Kacey: You could be polite and be like, "I disagree."

Chris: Yeah-

Kacey: Or, "Let's change the subject."

Chris: Yeah. Alright, well yeah. Let's change the subject. Hmm...

Kacey: Alright, but you gotta promise me you're not gonna do the sighing and the "whatever"s anymore.

Chris: OK yeah well I mean, I been working on the... reducing of the "whatever"s. I mean, 'cause... Kim, uh, corrected me on that as well. [waits for response] She's been correcting me on-

Kacey: Well it's not that hard, so...come on. Heh.

Chris: Uh, wait... I, uh sorry, what was that last statement? I did not not understand that last statement.

Kacey: I said it's not that hard. I mean-

Chris: Oh, yeah, not hard.

Kacey: It's all about a level of respect, I mean if you respected both of us you wouldn't do it.

Chris: Yeah. I mean, yeah, well I mean, I did try to... stop-, to not say whatev-, that word. But, I mean-

Kacey: I mean, you didn't start saying "whatever" until recently, like you've always done the sighing, but you didn't start saying that until recently.

Chris: Right... Yeah. Hm. Well... I mean I've done it, I mean I've done it numerous times before, uh... around my fam-, around my family. And, and it's like, they corrected me on that before. I guess it has been a long time since I said that word, and then... and then I, it just started coming back, it just started coming out again. That's, that's one thing that I'm, that I think there, about that. [Silence, Chris realizes she isn't going to say anything] Hm. Alright well, anyway, um... Um, let's see... What else is, what else can I, what else is on my mind I can talk about? Um...I'm not sure, lemme think, sure... No. If you've got anything else on your mind, Kacey, uh, I'm open to talk about that.

Kacey: Not unless you can tutor me in statistics.

Chris: Unless I can tutor you in statistics....Actually, I did take statistics, uh...at, uh, one or two of those classes...uh, when I started at Piedmont, as part of the, as part of when I was starting out, in the, uh, degree, I was, I, first, I started to work on...but then I, but then I switched over to Computer Aided Drafting and Design. But yeah I did do, I did do statistics, so...like, so like, you know...if you...show me like an example of, uh, what you're learning in statistics, I could prob-, I could probably remember...what to do there.

Kacey: OK, maybe I'll scan it or something for you, okay?

Chris: Alright. Yeah, and I'll see what I can, I'll see what I can remember.

Kacey: OK.

Chris: Hm. Yeah.

Kacey: Well, I have school in the morning so I should probably go, OK?

Chris: Alright. But anyway, it's nice to talk to you again. And it's nice to, and it's nice to, you know, if you can't call me, you know, to get an email from you, so I know what's going on. And, you know, it's nice, it's nice to know that, to have you confide in me, and me offering my feedback, but hey, you know, yeah. You know...just, you know, at least you're making your recovery and you will strike back victoriously.

Kacey: [Laughs politely] Yeah.

Chris: I'm rooting for ya, and I'm here for ya.

Kacey: Well, I appreciate that, and I'll try and talk to you tomorrow. OK?

Chris: Alright, if you can't talk to me, send me an email. Whatever...

Kacey: OK, bye.

Chris: You take care, be safe, bye-bye.

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