Lego

From CWCki
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Tugboat.jpg YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK!
The contents of this page have been bought with taxpayer money!
Social Security Administration seal.png


Chris is just as fail in his Lego form as in any other.
A TRUE and HONEST minifigure.

Lego (sometimes stylized as LEGO) is a brand of plastic building block toys, first introduced in 1949 by Danish company The Lego Group. They are noted for their durability and ease of use, allowing the creation of almost anything imaginable. Needless to say, Chris has relied heavily on Lego bricks to crowbar his creations into reality. They were a staple C-Mas gift throughout his life, and even in his adult years, Chris continued to spend literally thousands of dollars on Lego sets. He even requested his own fanbase to get him Lego for Christmas.

Chris's Minor Lego Brick Creations

Panoramic vista of CWCville, in all its blocky glory.

Chris has also found other uses for his Lego blocks besides simply building stuff. In his AIM chat with Vivian Gee, he noted that he uses his Lego figurines to "rehearse" imaginary conversations with women.

Chris's Major Lego Brick Creations

Beyond any doubt, the most notable creation Chris has ever constructed with Lego bricks is the model city of CWCville that was on display in his room for years, and that was where Chris pieced together many ideas that would later wind up in the Sonichu comics. At one point, CWCville consumed almost a third of his room. Chris himself eventually dismantled much of it.

Neophyte Christorians may be surprised to learn that CWCville itself, however, is not the most influential creation in Chris's litany of Lego creations. That award goes to his Lego Manchester High School.

Chris's Model of Manchester High School, after it had been damaged by the fire.

A sizable, sprawling building made from over a dozen Lego sets, this is, without a doubt, one of the largest, most expensive, and most important (to him, at least) creations Chris has ever worked on, a clear attempt to indulge himself in better days by reminding him of when he was still in high school, when he had friends of a sort and was tolerated by society, before his innocence was shattered during his graduation. By all accounts, Chris got it built up only days before the tragic news that his gal-pals were only hanging around him out of pity, and it was equally-tragically one of many things irrevocably lost during the house fire. A general accounting shows that the Lego Manchester High model cost him about $1000.

Following the fire, Chris threw absolutely everything at not only rebuilding his model School, but improving and expanding it. How much of it was a desire to rebuild what was lost, how much of this was an addiction, and how much was an attempt to lose himself in memories of the past is uncertain, but given the increasingly terrifying steps Chris took to preserve it, as is evidenced below, it's extremely clear that it's a symptom of a much bigger and more pressing problem.

In the years afterwards, Chris continued to purchase Lego sets. A photo from the 2020 Discord leaks shows sets contemporary to that time.[1]

In 2023, following the incest scandal, Chris moved to Big Island, VA. In Christ Chan Live Stream: Legos, Games and Media, he showed some of his Lego items, including those which had been featured in his Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway from 1998, indicating he had been able to retrieve his Lego from 14 Branchland Court. He also did a live build of an Indiana Jones themed set, released in April 2023, and reiterated that he remains a fan of Lego.

Influences in the comics

Inspired by his Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway, Sonichu and Rosechu have a pair of Lego go-karts in their garage, the only vehicles they are shown to possess.

A panel in Sonichu 6 features a hospital in which Reldnahc Notsew Naitsirhc is being held, which upon closer inspection has its design copied from the set 7892 (owned by Chris in his Lego CWCville), even down to window placement.

Christian's Bionicle Site

The garish front page of Chris's Bionicle website.

Bionicle was a series of buildable figures released by Lego and developed around a mythological saga. Chris became interested in these sets soon after their release in North America in 2001, so much so that he created his own website dedicated to the line, "Christian's Bionicle Site," in early 2002. The site, which included almost no text, was mainly a catalog of the different characters and their stats. It featured eye-raping blue letters on a firetruck-red background. It linked to CWC's Sonichu Site! and his "About the Author" page, which became one of his first Attraction Signs. Chris tinkered with the site for a few months and then essentially forgot about it, adding no new content other than his expression of rage at Adam Stackhouse for winning an important contest in 2007. The Bionicle site was completely abandoned when he lost control of his Sonichu Site to the trolls in 2009.

Lego Island

Chris's recreation of the Information Center.

Lego Island is a video game released in 1997 for the PC. Considering that it combines two of Chris's favorite pastimes, it should come as no surprise that Chris has played it.

Until 2020, Chris never explicitly stated whether or not he owned the game; however, he had been shown to own a minifigure of the Infomaniac (a major character in the game) which came packaged with its original release. The minifigure has cameoed numerous times, including in his 2013 Lego Manchester High School video, where he represented the minifig as the Principal. Furthermore, around 1998, Chris had recreated the Information Center from the game, which appeared in his Mario Kart 64 Lego Raceway video.

Later in 2001, Chris would play the sequel on PlayStation.[2]

In an August 2020 Discord Q&A, Chris was asked whether he had played Lego Island. Chris (as Sonichu) replied:

Mama has played LEGO Island during its original PC game release time; she still has the Infomaniac minifig that came with her disc copy of the game. It is a good game; a few bugs and simplistic, but good for its time.[3]

Qi Meng Bricks Police Station set

One of these things is not like the other...

In one of Chris's Christmas photos he is seen holding what appears to be a new Lego "6332-1 - Command Post Central".[4] Upon further inspection it is apparent that is merely a rebranded Qi Meng (启蒙, "Enlighten") Bricks "POLICE SERIES" set which is almost a direct clone of the original Lego set. Presumably, the Qi Meng logo was altered by a third party and replaced with "LEGO". Chris's parents probably bought it relatively cheap at a discount store that carries knock-off brands, so it's not like they were shopping for a quality present for Chris in the first place. It should be noted that Qi Meng Bricks are much more fragile than Lego and are of generally much poorer quality than Lego sets are, something that probably went unnoticed by Chris.

Kre-O

This one figurine was built out of at least $100 worth of sets.

To no surprise, Chris bought a rival Lego set made by Hasbro (the company behind Transformers and My Little Pony) called Kre-O. The pieces are fully compatible with Lego, though some proportions differ. Chris specifically bought the $50 Optimus Prime set and used one of the human figurines combined with Lego parts to make a Frankenstein's monster minifig version of himself. A highly amusing note is that Chris's minifig, due to the legs and torso being from Kree-O, is significantly shorter than other minifigs. Chris accounted for this by affixing platform shoes (read: small plates) to his feet to make him seem taller and more in-line with other minifigs.

This version of Lego Chris was last seen on 11 January 2013 on his Facebook depicting his Lego self as a fallen angel of sorts. It also now sports a ponytail.

Addiction and financial ruin

A significantly slimmer Snorlax.

Chris has spent a large portion of his adult money on Lego sets, a habit that got even worse following the 2014 house fire. Initially, many wrote this off as an attempt to rebuild his Manchester High School project following the fire, but by the middle of 2014, it was obvious that he was simply feeding an addiction, if not trying to escape from reality entirely by trying to return to happier times.

This happened on top of essentially begging friends and Facebook acquaintances for money, making a Kickstarter project for money to make a Lego CWCville Shopping Center that failed twice (the first time due to it breaking the site rules, the second due to not receiving the correct backing of $5,000 before 23 October) and posting a wishlist of Lego sets he wanted from them. One of the sets on his wishlist was a SpongeBob-themed set retailing for around $300, leading even William Elliott Waterman to call him out on his greed for expecting anyone to spend this much money on him for any reason, let alone to buy him luxuries. In the months following the fire, Chris posted images of his damaged Manchester High Project, and many noticed a huge number of empty Lego boxes near the melted mock-school; sets that were all incredibly recent releases. Thus, the CWCki's team of impartial observers were sent to investigate just how much Chris's addiction to these damned things cost him.

To further breakdown the expense of this project, Chris's new MHS model incorporated about 10 Lego Friends Heartlake High Sets - which retailed for about $50 each. There were multiple furnishings in the MHS model that only come in a specific Simpsons box set - one that retailed for about $200, confirmed by the fact that this same set is also the only one that provides pieces for a miniature that Chris turned into Sandy Rosechu. For MHS alone, Chris spent over $700. When one factors in incredibly expensive sets we know he has, like the Optimus Prime Kree-O kit (over $160), a certain Batman set ($50), and the Temple of Light set, that adds up to over $1,000. Other identifications showed that Chris acquired a $60 Batcave set, and a $75 scale model White House as well. Sets adding up to a grand total of $700 (Palace Cinema, Town Hall, Grand Emporium, and the previously mentioned $200 Simpsons set- Kwik-E-Mart) can be seen in the background of $50 for a video holiday greeting!, a video where Chris does everything but beg for money.

By the end of 2014, Chris had spent at least $5,000 on Lego since the 14 Branchland Court fire. This is on top of the $800-1200 he spent on creating his MHS project the first time. One might make the argument that this was one of his many steps in repairing CWCville, but judging by the number of expensive sets he got that he never incorporated into MHS, it's just as likely that Chris developed an honest-to-god addiction. Either way, his frivolous spending on such luxuries proved financially ruinous to him.

Probably the only set he'd never buy.

If it was indeed an addiction of sorts, it likely had origins in Barb's hoarding, and her bribing Chris with toys when he was young to coax him into speech. While it existed in other forms prior to these events, the stress triggered by the loss of his father, his home, and even the sanctity of his personal retreat intensified his hoarding of Lego as a way to escape his bleak situation--which is in-keeping with his family's habit of running away from their problems--and gave it an unnerving therapeutic quality that it didn't seem to have before.

The fact that Chris spent thousands on Lego alone is absolutely horrifying, especially when one takes into account the fact that his financial situation during that period of time was so dire that he was reduced to begging for donations on Facebook to get by. While his spending problems have been tuned down after his release from jail, whether due to genuine addiction or a misguided attempt to lose himself in fantasy, such spending could bring about a truly dreadful situation, one that has happened once already and, unfortunately, only one more thing for which he desperately needs professional help. Not only does he risk further financial difficulty if he continues to spend beyond his means, but his compulsive hoarding may become as physically dangerous as his mother's has. What he faces is a disease, and it deserves to be treated as such.

Sadly, Chris will never admit to there being any problem.

Burned Lego

The 2014 house fire burned some of Chris's Lego sets, which he set about replacing. In September 2024, Chris offered for sale on Cwclight several chunks of the burned Lego.

Gallery

Gallery of Lego

See also

Lego Chris in ModNation Racers.

References

External Links