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Homos

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Ongoing

The things described in this article are still happening, so it may be subject to frequent change.

 
 
I Am Straight; Vaginas and Boobies Give Me MY ERECTIONS; You Damn Homos have NO CHANCE with me EVER.
 

 

Chris.[1]

 
 
There Was a time before I realized mine being a female soul trapped in a male-born body, when I was homophobic. But I became better aware of these kind and open-hearted people, and learned how understanding and compassionate they are, and with that, losing the homophobia, I felt more at peace with myself and those around me.
 

 

—Chris evolves.[2]

Fun fact: Rainbow colors are the internationally recognized colors for the gay pride movement.

Homos was the pejorative term by which Chris referred to gay people--almost invariably gay males--nigh exclusively at the time of his discovery. He had also occasionally used phrases such as "those of the wrong orientation", because even saying the word "homo" or "gay" made him uncomfortable. Chris's former ire for male homosexuals was confusing, since they, of all people, posed the least threat to his Love Quest, and seemed to be motivated entirely by his own sexual insecurities.

From the very beginning of his internet fame in 2007, his extreme opposition to homosexuality and his neurotic, obsessive demand that everyone "STAY STRAIGHT" had been one of his most noted and exploited aspects, until he came out as a "transgender lesbian" in 2014, at which point he gradually recanted previous homophobic statements, becoming supportive of equality.

Past homophobia

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"Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation."
 

 

—Chris. [3]

Chris's homophobia apparently grew out of the complex stew of his noviophobia, his failure to achieve his Love Quest, his admiration for girly toys, his own gender confusion, his loathing of male bodies, and autism. His terror was such that he was barely able to bring himself to even utter the word "gay" or any other term concerning gay people, except of course for "homo." He struggled with intrusive homosexual thoughts[4]; he said that he couldn't even look at a picture of a pickle without being "freaked out."[5] In Kill De Jack, Chris revealed that he had to cover a section of his computer screen with a piece of paper so that he could browse the CWCipedia without looking at Jack Thaddeus's pro-gay advertisements. Nothing got Chris angrier than being "mislabeled" as a homo.

Chris was not simply afraid of becoming a homo himself--he hated all gay men. This animosity seemed to result primarily from his fear of them (and all men) and their supposed ability or desire to make him gay. He had often characterized the trolls - all of them - as homos, which is either a basic ad hominem attack or a sincere belief that anyone who draws penises on Rosechu must be gay. It also revealed a belief that all of his trolls are male, since Chris used "homo" exclusively in reference to gay men. This notion is not only demonstrably false, but in fact completely delusional, since many of Chris's greatest trolls have been women, and Chris knows it. This exercise in selective memory likely stems from Chris's loathing of male JERKS and inversely-proportional adoration of women.

Notably, in an IRC chat from 2 January 2009, Chris made this statement:

 
 
if I could have it my way, I'd make it illegal and forbidden to have homo Men; women are safe. Also, I would have the secondary definition of the word "gay", being Homosexual, REMOVED from the word in the dictionaries, and all instinctions [sic] and sayings of the word will ONLY LEGALLY be used to mean HAPPY, as it was originally intended among songs like "Deck the Halls"
 

 

—Chris, 2 January 2009, 11:59.

Chris projects his repressed homosexuality onto one of his own abominations.

Chris further went on to propose a bizarre form of conversion therapy in which all gay men would be imprisoned and made to sleep with both female offenders and prostitutes, thereby "reprogramming" them. Interestingly, a certain Herr Himmler had a similar idea, suggesting that "pink triangle" concentration camp prisoners be forced to sleep with (female) camp prostitutes.

 
 
[they would be] taken in and reprogrammed with multiple upon multiple pleasurable moments with female prison inmates and prosts.
 

 

—Chris[6]

On 30 January 2010, Chris voiced his sagacious opinion about the ban on homosexuals serving openly in the American military. He advocated the lifting of the ban, but only so that "the homos can go die in explosions."

The universe of CWCville also saw an anti-gay jihad. On 5 January 2010, Chris stated that Magi-Chan keeps a constant psychic surveillance to ensure that there are no homos in CWCville.[7] When evidence of homosexuality is found, the people involved are arrested and fined heavily. In Sonichu #10, Chris's comic self travels into the future, where scientists have successfully isolated the "homo gene" (An idea stolen from the Family Guy episode "Family Gay"). They have not, however, isolated the "straight gene", and are only able to when Chris donates his own blood (Chris has once remarked that homosexuality could be cured by injecting blood from straight men into homosexuals). Chris then brought back to the present enough of the "cure" to turn every gay person on Earth straight. Ironically, a vaccination traditionally consists of introducing a small amount of the disease to a body to stimulate the immune system - so Chris unwittingly implied that his blood contains the dreaded homo virus.

A classic case of Chris's homophobia surfaced in the struggle over advertisements on his CWCipedia. Jack Thaddeus purchased ad space on the CWCipedia to put up 2 ads. One featured Peter Griffin of Family Guy, pointing out that he and his creator, Seth MacFarlane, were supportive of gay rights; and the other promoted Mexican tourism with a cartoon pickle. Chris unsurprisingly went berserk, stating:

 
 
I understand you getting paid to run ads in that box on the Cwcipedia. I feel okay with Vivian's Audiobooks, BUT I feel OFFENDED with the Mexico Contest and Gay-Rights Ads. The Pickle on the Mexico ad reminds me of a terrible time in my past with Pickle-Suited TROLLS, and I AM AGAINST HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLES and FOR STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUALITY.
 

 

—Chris.[8]

In protest, Chris replaced Jack Thaddeus's gay-friendly ads with ads for Love In Action (an "ex-gay" ministry), ProtectMarriage.com (a site promoting Proposition 8), and a site calling for a boycott of Pepsi due to their gay-friendliness. To sum it up, in one fell swoop, Chris managed to put in three big things that would not win him any gay friends whatsoever.

As with his fear of becoming a homo, the origins of Chris's deep homophobia are not clear. Certainly Bob had an influence, as the Matthew Noble call showed that he had the same kind of deranged hatred and prejudice as his son. On 7 January 2010, when answering the question of how he began hating the gay population, we got this interesting insight:

 
 
I estimate that I started hating them about Summer, 2003 just after I started my Sweetheart Search, where I received the response from one woman, "Ooh, I'm sorry, I am a Lesbian." That, combined with my PAST dislike of MEN in general AND the later pictured images of such acts led me to DISGUST AND HATRED FOR THE HOMOSEXUALS. Plus ALL of the Homos within the Trolls AND all Homosexual Fans with their WRONGFUL Quoting of MY comics and characters in THEIR PAPERS and ESSAYS promoting homosexuality, and EVEN WORSE a Sonichu BALLOON in one of their God DAMED Pride Parades!!! ALL OF THESE FACTORS have ONLY made my view of the Homosexual Males WORSE!
 

 

Chris, before finally stating (for the umpteenth time) that Sonichu is straight.

If this is true, Chris made no reference to it at the time, restricting his hatred solely to the heterosexual male JERKS. It is certainly ironic considering his more recent views on lesbianism. It also adds another interesting aspect to his hatred: Chris's frustration with homos is influenced by his being childish and whiny about not getting his way with one woman who turned him down. We wouldn't expect anything different from him.

He later expressed anxiety towards gays in his classic "Future Message," released in February 2007.

Chris knows that his homophobia was unpopular with his fans, and he often tried to persuade the public that he respects homosexuals for "who they are". However, he usually betrayed his sincere intolerance of different lifestyles soon afterward - often within the same statement. On 18 February 2009, for example, Chris issued one of his retractions of his previous homophobic remarks and declared that he respects "the gay people" just as he respects his gal pals and his sweethearts. However, this was done at the insistence of Julie; a mere month later Chris was reciting verses from the Bible to once again preach against the vile homos.

On 14 June 2009, Chris posted a "music" video called "Don't Trust Any Homos Over There", which, in his tradition of ruining everything you ever loved, is a homophobic version of Uncle Ruckus's satirical song "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There" from The Boondocks. Later on that same day, he published an apology for the video and insisted that he likes gays who "ac...accomplish other things, like Stephen Fry, who was a homosexual, but y'know he did a good job being a narrator on LittleBigPlanet." Chris was of course unaware of the various other career accomplishments of Stephen Fry. It seems that this apology was only posted in the first place for the sake of his gal-pal Kim's boyfriend, whose gay brother apparently lost both his arms in Iraq.

"If I was a homosexual or anything like that, would I not be having sex with THREE WOMEN?"

On 6 August 2009, at a time when the trolls were getting the most mileage out of baiting Chris regarding his sexual orientation, Chris posted a wide-ranging, hate-fuelled rant on the CWCipedia which he hoped would clear up all misconceptions. His "Address to the Homosexuals," subtitled "I AM STRAIGHT!!! NOT HOMO; NOT BI; STRAIGHT!!! GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS!" is a classic statement on the issue. Unfortunately it had no noticeable effect on the trolling. The essay in full[9]:

Good day, I write this essay with sound mind to address the major issues that has been bugging me constantly for the past few yeas, The Pressure and Stress FROM the Homosexual Population.

First off, as I have said OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER Infinite Number Of Times, I, “Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler, AM STRAIGHT. No Question or Shadow of a Doubt, EVER.

I personally respect the individual people as fellow human beings, and I am cool with associating with them as acquaintances and friends, but Please Do Not Wave Around what you do behind closed doors around me; NOBODY CARES TO KNOW; I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE TO KNOW. Even within my imagination, I Do Not Care to even have the pictures Randomly Pop up in my head. Every time of such pictures’ appearance, I feel Queasy and want to Throw Up. I humbly apologize for being offensive, but that is how I feel.

As a human being, I have no hard feelings conversing and associating with the homosexuals at any time. Individually, they each have a right to their own opinions, perceptions and peaceful lives. I fully understand and respect that.

The only thing that really Grinds My Gears Harshly is being Wrongfully Labeled as a Homosexual when I am straight.

I am aware of the way I stutter, space my words and all that from the way I talk, but I assure you, that I sometimes have trouble fully comprehending situations and status at first; it sometimes takes me a long while before I can fully comprehend and make an appropriate reaction. In another word, I am Sometimes Retarded.

And the ONLY REASON I have not had sex yet in my lifetime WITH A WOMAN yet, is because the WHOLE TIME, I have been SHY; kept down with the Personal Fear of nearly EVERY Woman I see being Already Paired-Up with a Boyfriend. I am not a man who likes confrontations with the guy who has spoken for the woman I’m eying over. And during my High School Years, I WAS NAÏVE on the subject of DATING (Bring in Dating Education Classes, and Run them Alongside or Before Sexual Education, and make Dating Education Equally Mandatory). It had not dawned on me that I NEEDED TO BE DATING until AFTER I had turned Twenty-One-Years Old, during my Third Year attending Piedmont Virginia Community College.

And my Sonichu and Rosechu Comic Pages; again, I understand each individual person has their own perception of things, BUT Contrary to the individual perceptions among some people, The Comics, Drawings, and ALL Words ALL HAD NO MEANING OF ANYTHING Homosexual Whatsoever! I Personally in Real Life AND in the Comic Pages and all that PROMOTE BEING STRAIGHT, No Question or Shadow of a Doubt.

All Those of You have Heavily Wrongfully Misunderstood Parts of All the Comic Pages and all that of such.

I, All my Sonichus, Rosechus, and citizens of Cwcville, Virginia, Do Not Appreciate At All Being Wrongfully Labled as homosexuals. IT REALLY INFURIATES ME, Sonichu, Rosechu and EVERYBODY ELSE.

I have also heard of My Sonichu being written in College Essays that promote homosexuality. And even worse, promoting him in the Gay Pride Parades. WRONG LABELS; STOP WRITING OR PROMOTING ME OR MY CHARACTERS AS SUCH! ALL Sonichus Are Straight! ALL Rosechus Are Straight! I Am Straight! My Comics are STRAIGHT COMICS. I, Sonichu and Rosechu, We Never Want to be part of ANY AND ALL Homosexual-Promoting Papers or Events, because with EVERY ITEM that is created from NOT OF MY OWN HANDS that EVEN Inklings such Wrongful Labelings upon, ME, Sonichu, Rosechu, and ALL MY STRAIGHT CHARACTERS, WE ARE ALL BEING DISREPECTED!

We will Never Take the Misunderstandings, Mislabelings And All The Like Sitting Down.

I, Personally, would RATHER have a PAINFUL Gender-Change Operation than EVER Turn Homosexual.

So, to reiterate, I, and 96 % of ALL CHARACTERS, are ALL STRAIGHT! NEVER EVER CALL me, my comics, or any of MY STRAIGHT Characters GAY!

*sigh*

And to conclude, while I personally do not care about the homosexual lifestyle that swift, and I personally respect each individual homosexual person as individual human beings, The MAIN thing that really Infuriates Me is being called gay. DO NOT EVER Call Me Gay, or EVER Question My Sexual Orientation.

I, “Christopher” Christian “Ricardo” Weston Chandler, Am Straight. Period.

Thank you.

On 12 January 2010, Chris again appeared to soften his stance, saying that "I am decreeing that homosexuals will have equal relationship rights within CWCville." However, in the same breath Chris clarified, "gay marriage is still Illegal and Wrong. And Magi-Chan will stay out of those people's heads under my request."[10] The reason why gay marriage isn't an "equal relationship right" is not readily apparent.

Defenses against becoming a homo

According to Chris, heterosexuals defend their sexuality by stomping on vibrators and showcasing index cards indicating their straightness on their shoes.

It's hard work for a warrior of true love and honesty to stay straight. Chris used many strange and totemic objects, from a poster of Sailor Moon to his Optimus Prime toy, to aggressively assert his straightness. Chris has said that he stared at his Sailor Moon poster every day to stave off temptations of homosexuality. The centerfold poster of Marge Simpson's Playboy edition was another of Chris's many defenses against becoming a homo. The fact that she is a married cartoon character does not seem to have dissuaded him. Chris also subscribed to Playboy to help keep himself straight. You could tell he's straight because when he's explaining what he finds attractive in women it only takes five seconds for him to get around to breasts and china.

When homosexual (or potentially homosexual) fans sent Chris questions on the CWCipedia asking for tips to STAY STRAIGHT, Chris tended to suggest what essentially amounts to self-brainwashing. Some of his ideas included thinking of naked women and how awesome they are, and imagining being struck by painful lightning whenever a homosexual thought occurs.[11] He also clarified that one needs not buy a Sailor Moon poster in particular; any poster featuring attractive women (preferably in bikinis and looking sexy) will do the trick. He believes these rituals are necessary to "maintain" sexual attraction to women.[11][12][13]

Chris has also encouraged women to not drink, smoke, or be physically abused while pregnant, as this could cause the baby to be born homosexual, as if Homosexuality is like Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. [14] Chris is also convinced that his chances of becoming homosexual have been raised because he did not engage in heterosexual intercourse before maturation,[15] hence his oft-stated regret that he did not get dating education classes in high school, and his recommendation that they be made available for the youth of today.

Considering the myriad of habits Chris has cultivated which are highly atypical for a straight male, it seems certain that he has been at the very least sexually confused. He is demonstrably very aggressive and insecure about it.

Lesbianism

Whereas Chris's discomfort with homosexual males has been fairly consistent, his views on lesbianism have wildly vacillated. In Chris's Carrie rip-off, "The High School Story", his Mary Sue character Terrah LeAnne Yowman is ridiculed and accused of being a lesbian by kids at her high school because she hangs around with male friends. As the work serves as a backstory to the villainous Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens, Terrah's bullying may have served as a fictional inverse parallel to the endless accusations of homosexuality lodged by Chris' detractors, illustrating Chris' worldview of implied homosexuality as an insult.

 
 
She felt angry when she heard "Lesbian"; when called that, she would leave the bully an intimidating glare with a purple glow from her green eyes. Then soon after, a Strong, Straight Homophobe would attack that bully with No Mercy; beat the crap out of that person.
 

 

—"The High School Story"

On 25 July 2009, Chris produced a rambling and nonsensical video to the tune of Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend". In the middle of the video, Chris sings about the importance of "being straight" and intersperses a "STAY STRAIGHT" caption on a photo of a lesbian couple split in two.

 
 

Hey! Hey! You! You! I know that you like me! Hey, you! Hey, you! You need to be straight, girl! Hey! Hey! You! You! I want to be your boyfriend!
 


 

Later, Chris would gradually revise his former hard-line attitude against lesbians. In Sonichu, Chris goes out of his way to state that the children of Sonichu and Rosechu are watched over by Heather Iglesias, whom he characterizes as "a pretty, trustworthy, good natured Spanish Lesbian."[16] He further mentions that Heather keeps her sexuality a secret from the kids at the request of Sonichu himself.[16] Chris may have shoehorned a lesbian character into Sonichu to appear more tolerant, but his attempt comes off as half-hearted in light of his continual derision of gay men and insistence that Heather hide her sexuality.

In Mumble 1, which took place on the last day of 2009, Chris declared his support for lesbians and reiterated his simultaneous hatred for gay men, stating that he hated JERKS in general, and how (typically) a porn DVD helped to soften his view on lesbians. In effect, Chris claimed that he supports lesbians because he believes women are beautiful, and hates gay men because men are icky.

 
 
Uhh. Pretty much but it's like you know, between lesbians, it's like, hmm, partial [dis]courage. But then it's- but then again, but then between guys instead I would definitely 100% discourage. In my humble opinion...I've uh talked to others before with uh, Sarah, my uh s-s-Sarah, my girlfriend. I can not be willing to do a threesome with uh two women, but defina- but definitely never with two guys.
 

 

—Chris, Mumble 1

 
 
Yes, Yes they are- yes they're they're more beautf- they're more beautiful. They're like, they're really- they're truly like works of art in their own way- just like yeah you know, just like you know the statues that uh, were in past times.
 

 

—Chris, Mumble 1

On 28 March 2013, Chris posted a public Facebook message whining about repeat media coverage of the Supreme Court's Proposition 8 and DOMA deliberations. In it, he reiterated his support for lesbians and his disapproval of "the damn homosexual males".

Chris the lesbian

Chris's selfie from a gay bar restroom. Disturbing, but unsurprising.

On 14 August 2014, Chris posted on his Facebook page that he himself was now officially a "lesbian-identified man".[17] He posted a picture of himself holding an LGBT flag. He stated that "I support the LBT fully; the G.[ay] M.[ale]s are fortunate to be on this boat." On 31 October 2014, Chris spent that Halloween at a gay bar dressed as a "Groovy 70's Lesbian",[18] further evidencing his apparent acceptance of homosexuality, in that visiting a gay bar was THE thing Chris had specified on multiple occasions that he would never do in his life.

However, as anyone who's even mildly aware of sexuality and gender will tell you, a "lesbian male" isn't actually a real thing. Though actual trans women can be lesbians, the idea of a "lesbian-identified male" is just something a guy might google after mass debating, and Chris's citation of Yahoo! Answers to validate its existence is unpersuasive to say the least. Sexuality seems to be the most powerful governing force in Chris's self-definition, and as such it is perhaps unsurprising that it has changed so dramatically over time, given his utter failure to find his place in the world.

Through 2017, Chris expressed his interest in media ripe with lesbian implications; hinted at to the point in which he fantasizes himself in the act. Prior to his relationship with Jessica Quinn, Chris complained of his loneliness by comparing to himself to Life Is Strange deuteragonist Chloe Price.

Shifting stance

Chris likes a news item about gay men, April 2017.

Not long after coming out as a "male lesbian," Chris felt deeply uncomfortable with being perceived as "gay" or "homo," and in Facebook statements attempted to exclude gay men from his crusade for gender equality. No doubt under the influence of his new sweetheart Catherine and other gal-pals, Chris retracted these clumsy statements, apologizing for the umpteenth time.

 
 
I am accepting of the gays as people, just like most any individual person. Seriously, you all be proud of who you are. All I ask is not to find any reason to feel anger towards anyone of any orientation, race or whatever, based on their individual actions or offense as an individual person of self. Also, please disregard all of my past and Way past thoughts of turning gays straight; that was very wrong of me. I am very sorry about that, and continue to be true and proud of yourselves for who you are, as I am Very Proud of myself for being a Lesbian Transgender (a Female, Lesbian Soul trapped in a male body).
 

 

—Chris, surprisingly redeemable.[19]

He also announced his support for the Human Rights Campaign, going so far as to say that homophobics "are none other than the Cyber-Bullies and Internet Trolls who put hate on the innocent around the world; Young and Old. Some of which even put pressure on to force you into being something you know fully that you are Not!" Interestingly, his prior notion that all trolls are homosexuals had been completely reversed to the idea that they're all homophobes, illustrating that Chris still believes that any detractor of his is part of an organized movement and has personal flaws.

However, if the past is any judge, the end of his relationship with Catherine has no doubt caused his homophobia to resurface. He confirmed in late 2014 that despite the fact that comic Chris shares his new gender identity, Reldnahc, his opposite, is still an evil violent homo.[20]

On 26 June 2015, the Supreme Court upheld the constitutionality of gay marriage. Chris, shockingly enough, reacted very positively towards this:

Congratulations to us all for Nationwide Marriage Equality! If a holiday be made of June 26, 2015, how about ‪#‎PridependenceDay‬!

Now, I still require my Sweetheart to be my future wife. As a ‪#‎Lesbian‬ ‪#‎Transwoman‬, I do feel I am compatible with Any woman.

And No, I am not mistaken. I have been genuinely feeling and identifying like a woman for about my whole lifetime. I never could appreciate the male's Neanderthal interests. And I felt more appreciative and comprehending of fashions, makeup, shopping, empathy, identifying feelings and looking to resolve problems reasonably.

Plus, I have a great deal of self control, and I can bring good and pleasant tidings to an all woman party.

‪#‎LoveWins‬ ‪#‎OneFamily‬ ‪#‎LGBTQ‬ ‪#‎Pridependence‬ ‪#‎Pride‬

In October 2015, Chris released a video in which he apologizes for his past homophobic statements and iterates that he is now supportive of male homosexuals, while still drilling the point home that Sonichu and Rosechu are straight. He almost simultaneously retconned Sonichu 10 and replaced the fictional gay epidemic with a bizarre Nazi zombie premise, which still has homophobic implications given the context of the comic.

Chris the Homo

Main article: Chris and sexuality

In April 2018, Chris came full circle, revealing that he now likes ducks. Later that same month, he recorded himself licking pictures of penises that he drew on the wall.

See also

CWCipedia logo.png
For Truth and Honesty, see the archived CWCipedia page on Homos

Sources

  1. Mailbag 31
  2. January_2017_Facebook_Posts#Open_letter_to_Barron_Trump
  3. E-mail to Megan, "I'm sorry... *sigh*:; Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 3:10 pm
  4. BlueSpike PSN Chat 3
  5. CWC's Second Message
  6. https://sonichu.com/cwcki/IRC_(02_January_2009)
  7. https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Mailbag_31#Magi-Chan_knows_when_you_fuck
  8. http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=User_talk:WikiSysop#The_New_Ad-Links
  9. https://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Homosexuality
  10. CWC Blog#12 January 2010
  11. 11.0 11.1 Mailbag #3
  12. Mailbag #3
  13. Mailbag #4
  14. Mailbag #5
  15. http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Dating_Education
  16. 16.0 16.1 Cwcipedia: Sonichu
  17. August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda
  18. October 2014 Facebook Posts
  19. September 2014 Facebook Posts
  20. Commissions