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Halloween

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Halloween is an annual holiday falling on 31 October. Originally Irish, it is also observed in New World countries with an Irish cultural influence, such as Australia and North America. It has often had significance for Chris. He may not have a high opinion of it, as bad stuff tends to happen to him around this time, as documented below.

Historic Halloweens

1998 or 1999

Barb makes Chris's Ash Ketchum costume.[1]

2007

Halloween 2007 coincided with the emergence of Chris-chan on the Internet: he appeared in a SomethingAwful thread on 26 October, got an Encyclopedia Dramatica page on 3 November (not Halloween itself, as Chris has claimed), and 4chan fanart existed the next day.

2008

At least it wasn't a burning bag of shit.

Chris had hoped to go with Blanca to a "local Halloween party,"[2] but unfortunately she stole his medallions and outed herself as a troll before he could. He said that he had no plans for Halloween[3], and so a crack squadron of trolls, including Emily[4], infiltrated the grounds of 14 Branchland Court that Halloween night, leaving a sign reading "ENCYCLOPEDIA DRAMATICAJIMMY HILL" on the front lawn. Chris went apeshit, and a year later tore up the sign on YouTube while making death threats against Vivian Gee, Clyde Cash, and their families.

Chris later claimed that Mimms and Megan were the ones who left the sign. This is unconfirmed and extremely unlikely; Mimms never had anything to do with ED and Megan has never shown any sign of engaging with trolls whatsoever.[5]

2009

Chris planned on going to a party at a counseling center, most likely at Rocky's suggestion. A loyal Nintendo fanboy, Chris was going to dress up as beloved corporate shill Captain N, but was too lazy to get a decent costume and instead planned on wearing his ancient ill-fitting Ash getup.[6] He never mentioned it again, so it's not known if he actually went or not, but given that he uploaded three videos that day (Getting Foam Ed for Clyde Cash, My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey, and Greetings to Kaceys Folks), he probably stayed at home.

2010

Jackie asked Chris to join "Jacklyn's Naughty No Trick, All Treat, 31 Days of Halloween Contest" — he had to upload a video for YouTube every day in October, mentioning a secret in each that he'd never told anybody. In return, Jackie would fuck him on 1 November. However, Chris failed to keep to schedule, provoking Jackie's ire and removing any chance of getting china.

2011

Chris spent Halloween in jail after his 28 October attack on The GAMe PLACe. Barb appeared in court on Halloween to be formally charged with failing to stop after an accident, and with felony assault on a jerkop.

2012

Chris did nothing for Halloween this year, as he was very lonely and depressed. However, he did put a lot of thought into a theoretical costume. He explained in a private Facebook message:

TRICK OR TREAT, JEW!
If I had local friends to actually hang out with, and they had invited me to a Halloween party, I would likely go as a zombie.

I would go as a zombie, this year at least, because I have been feeling like a zombie often lately. A) I often feel lost in thought from going off track in thought. And I often feel lost in life as well. B) The bad people, gravely and greatly counting the fucking Trolls/Cyber-Bullies, as well as the tyrannical Michael Snyder for destroying my life from his set up in having me arrested, spend a horrifying night in jail, going through trial after trial after trial of crappy court dates, only to be totally drained from losing to him. Which brings up C) I often have been feeling tired more quickly from each outing full of errands I run for my mother every day, although some of them do include time for myself. Having to reside in the same room with her becomes tedious and can become frustrating to me, but she is still the sweetest, most caring, compassionate, understanding mother I have grown up knowing with fondest memories. D) I have actually felt the total blank-minded mental state that can be derived from having just woken up and still feeling really drowsy, as well as post mental shut down after an extended amount of stress has surged through my mind. E) Zombies actually totally creep, gross, freak and scare me. Which is why I take pleasure in shooting them in the head or chopping them up into bits in video games before they can drain my avatar/main character.

LEGO zombie Chris.

2013

Halloween 2013 was a true dark night of the soul for Christian. On the 30th, he received the traumatic news that his Manchester High School gal-pals were neither true nor honest: "I am shocked to hear that everyone was my friend, because they felt sorry for me." This realization (only 13 years too late) that his friends were playing Pity the Autistic and didn't really like him crushed Chris's one really happy memory. He posted to Molly Quarles, asking if she too was merely being nice, and called on his old MHS classmates to visit his house in person to apologize (for what, is unclear). In keeping with the holiday spirit, he said he felt, as in the previous year, like "an emotional zombie."[7]

Derpy's ready for trick-or-treating.
Chris's "Lesbian chic" costume for Halloween 2014.

2014

A week before Halloween 2014, Chris asked of his Facebook friends, "Can anyone recommend any legitimate and good Halloween Parties in Charlottesville, VA, please?" He eventually made the very atypical decision to spend the holiday patronizing the Impulse Gay Social Club dressed as a "Groovy 70's Lesbian Chic." Chris had originally hoped that if his girlfriend Catherine was in town, they could wear costumes with a "Lesbians Through Time" theme, with her as "the Past Lesbian" and himself as the aforementioned hippie. Unfortunately, she couldn't come, so Chris had to go alone.

The extent of his participation was not immediately known, as he only posted a bathroom selfie on Facebook. Knowing Chris, he probably just played with his Nintendo DS the whole time. The fact that Chris even entered a gay bar was somewhat mind boggling at the time, given his ongoing homophobia and his prior insistence that he would never enter such an establishment. It was unknown whether Chris had truly shed his homophobic tendencies or whether he was merely harassing lesbians at a gay bar.

Rosechu and Sonichu
Humanoid electric mouse-hedgehogs dressed as humanoid horse things

2015

Chris unveiled Halloween costumes for the Sonichu family, who appeared as Equestria Girls characters. He instructed his Facebook followers to "Stay Safe while Trick-or-Treating, escorting the children on the outing, or while partying", in a rare case of Chris actually providing sound advice.

2016

Not known. A few days before, Chris attacked the new Trolls movie.

See also

References

  1. A Week With Christian Chandler
  2. Chris's Letter to Blanca
  3. IRC (24 October 2008)
  4. https://kiwifarms.net/threads/10-16-2016-new-pics-of-14-branchland-ct-and-garbage.25062/page-7#post-1815347
  5. Katie Bay E-mails 2
  6. Regina e-mails
  7. October 2013 Facebook Posts
Christian Weston Chandler's Year

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