January 2009

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On January 8 2009, Chris shows us his fangs.
On January 17 2009, Chris adresses Shigeru Miyamoto.
On January 18 2009, Chris crushes his vibrator to show that he is straight.
On January 20 2009 we get to see a special powerpoint.

Christian Weston Chandler spent most of his time in January 2009 under the assumption that Shigeru Miyamoto and Reggie Fils-Aimé of Nintendo were in regular contact with him, arranging a partnership to create a series of video games based on Sonichu. This hoax primarily involved having Miyamoto and Fils-Aimé asking Chris about his background, forcing Chris to explain away things like the information on his Encyclopedia Dramatica page. When asked to travel to Nintendo of America headquarters in Redmond, Washington, Chris continually stalled, until he finally disappeared from the Internet for several days in late January, raising questions about whether he was really dumb enough to travel cross-country. However, his claims to have visited "Red Mond" were quickly exposed, and the Sonichu Alpha project collapsed shortly thereafter.

During this month Chris's website, Sonichu.net would be hacked, causing him to abandon it and launch Sonichu.info, which was then also immediately hacked.

On 5 January Chris completed Episode 18, the long-awaited "Spring Break" feature of Sonichu #8, after being prompted by the suicide of Ryan Cash. Ryan's brother Clyde would emerge this month, blaming Chris for Ryan's death and threatening to seek revenge. In time, both the Miyamoto saga and the website hacking would be attributed to the master plan of Clyde and his secret organization bent on ruining Chris's life, to give Chris an archenemy to rail against.

Events of January 2009

  • 1 January - Chris posts on the Sonichu Girls forum about his fangs and Rosechu's stripping protest. He tells them that he is straight and to censor the word "gay."
  • 2 January
    • The Sonichu Home Club meeting takes place on PlayStation Online.
    • In a fan chat, Chris talks about the upcoming new issue of Sonichu.
    • Chris tells the Sonichu Girls forum about the upcoming insertion of Sonichu and Rosechu into Animal Crossing, and asks them if they would approve of Rosechu's stripping protest.
    • Chris asks the Sonichu Girls for suggestions about the new Zapina character.
    • Chris tells the Sonichu Girls on their forum that he will fuck the first one who makes it to his house.
  • 3 January
    • In another fan chat, Chris talks to several members from Sonichu Girls.
    • On the Sonichu Girls forum, Chris backs away from his previous offer and says he is committed to losing his virginity with Panda.
  • 4 January
  • 5 January
  • 6 January
  • 7 January - Chris and Gregg Mays continue to discuss the redesign. Chris tells him to get in touch with PandaHalo.
  • 8 January
  • 9 January
    • Gregg Mays asks Chris for the new password to his website so that he can fix it.
    • Chris asks the Sonichu Girls for their Wii Numbers.
  • 11 January - Both Chris and Barbara correspond with Shigeru Miyamoto to ask for a cash advance for the trip to Washington.
  • 12 January
  • 13 January - Gregg Mays tells Chris to make a video of his parents saying why they are proud of Chris. Chris says he will.
  • 14 January - Chris announces to the Sonichu Girls his plan to make an R-rated sub-domain on his Sonichu site, and welcomes nude fan art.
  • 15 January
  • 16 January
    • Chris announces to the Sonichu Girls forum that he is switching from Sonichu.net to Sonichu.info.
    • Chris tells Miyamoto about the new website address.
  • 17 January
    • Miyamoto suspects that Chris is a troll. Chris tells him he will make a video to prove his identity.
    • Chris addresses Shigeru Miyamoto.
    • Chris makes his last post to the Sonichu Girls forum, saying that his Sonichu site has been hacked and praying that God will kill Jason Kendrick Howell.
    • Gregg Mays tells Chris he is not Jason Kendrick Howell, but actually someone going by the name Clyde Cash, the alleged angry brother of the allegedly deceased Ryan Cash. Chris tells him to play in traffic.
  • 18 January
  • 19 January
  • 20 January
  • 21 January
    • Chris denounces Sonichu.net and Sonichu.info. He refers to a recent chat in which he revealed information about his elementary-school principal, but insists that information will not be used to turn him gay.
    • In a chat with Clyde Cash and PandaHalo, they tell Chris that Clyde has raped Panda, and that she is now expecting a baby.
    • Chris tells Miyamoto that he is definitely coming to Washington. Actually all he does is mail his Powerpoint Presentation and a personal message for Miyamoto.
  • 22 January - Chris claims to have left for Redmond, Washington, and disappears for a few days.
  • 23 January - The CWChronology is founded.
  • 25 January - The new CWCki, with Media Wiki software, is released.
  • 26 January - Chris makes the unlikely claim that he has returned from spending several days in Red Mond with Miyamoto. He quickly takes the video offline, claiming he was asked to do so by Nintendo.
  • 27 January
    • Chris comes clean with Miyamoto, saying that he did not have the money or support to make the trip.
    • Chris emails Gregg Mays for the final time to admit that he did not go to Redmond.
  • 28 January
    • Chris tells Miyamoto that he is not lazy and asks for his friendship and forgiveness.
    • Reggie Fils-Aimé sends his first email to Chris cancelling the project. Chris responds to apologize and ask for another chance.
  • 30 January - Chris admits Nintendo isn't working with him, and that he has lost all respect for Nintendo employee Reggie Fils-Aimé.
  • 31 January