Little occurred in March 2012; Chris spent the majority of this month playing his newly-acquired PlayStation Vita. However, this was merely a cover for his deep fear about going to prison. He became determined to starve himself if he was incarcerated, and decided that he needed to lose his virginity before he died.
- 4 March - Chris makes a series of Facebook posts saying that he is feeling better, but is still lonely.
- 5 March - Chris corresponds with a friend about an upcoming benefit show.
- 7 March - Chris posts on Facebook that he is still lonely, and that his mother is getting on his nerves. He says they miss Bob.
- 9 March - Chris goes to a benefit show with his mother and talks to other human beings.
- 11 March - Chris is confused about song lyrics and discusses the issue with his Facebook friends.
- 13 March - Chris says he hates "Rage" comics.
- 18 March - Chris tells his Facebook friends that he has realized that he and his mother are "misfits."
- 18 March - Chris posts in the ModNation Racers forums, calling himself "internet famous" and requesting that people download his custom stuff for the Vita.
- 20 March - Chris posts a new photo in the MNR forums.
- 21 March - Chris tells his Facebook friends that he is having trouble meeting local women.
- 24 March - Chris attends Mythbuster Tour: Behind the Myths with his mother.
- 25 March - Chris post a Facebook status and picture of his mom during the Mythbuster Tour.
- 27 March - Chris declares to his private Facebook friends, "I Need Some Sex."
- 28 March - Chris posts another message in the MNR forums asking people to download his custom stuff.
- 31 March - Chris publishes an open note on Facebook in which he complains about the trolls.
- 31 March - Chris is banned from Charlottesville Fashion Square for shouting death threats to trolls on his phone.
- 31 March - Chris tells his Facebook friends that he wants to lose his virginity before he goes to jail, where he intends to starve himself to death.