January was the first month of 2008. It was a slow month, with few notable incidents save Chris trying to hack Encyclopedia Dramatica numerous times and complaining about being lonely even more. He does keep in correspondence with several people on social media, possibly the only thing keeping him (somewhat) sane.
- January 2 - Chris responds to Megan's request to stay in the Chandlers' house for a while, probably because of personal problems.
- January 3 - Chris gets a set of anal beads as a free gift with a purchase at adamandeve.com. In the future, this will be used against him by trolls.
- January 7 - Chris receives an email from a troll pretending to be a "Nintendo Lawer" stating that he is legally in the clear from both Nintendo and Sega regarding the Sonichu franchise.
- January 10 - Chris updates his Facebook status to say he's "lonesome and playin' his videogame."
- January 10 - Using HTML-like code, Chris tries to hack Encyclopedia Dramatica again.
- January 16 - Chris updates his Facebook status to say he's "lonesome and waitin' at the Alderman Library."
- January 18 - Chris again informs the world on Facebook that he is "lonesome at home."
- January 19 - The ED page on Chris is vandalized by someone named "Danilah", likely Chris under yet another alias.
- January 20 - Chris makes his first Facebook posts, telling his readers not to believe the trolls and that he is not a mind-reader.
- January 21 - Under the name "Clyde", Chris again vandalizes his article on ED. He complains about them kicking the autistic.
- January 22 - Chris writes as his Facebook status that he is lonesome and "tired of the snow."
- January 23 - Chris announces on Facebook that he is lonesome (surprise!) and will be going to Alderman Library.
- January 25 - Chris tries to get ED to start trolling Joshua Martinez. It doesn't work.
- January 26 - Chris tries to destroy his article using HTML. He apparently doesn't really understand how computers work...
- January 28 - Chris updates his Facebook status to say "I am real lonely," and that he will again be at the Alderman Library.
- January 29 - Chris changes his Facebook status to read: "I'm not seeing any NEW posts on my wall, please write something pleasant, some gal." Needless to say no one wrote anything.