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Ryan Cash is fake. The CWCki treats it as if he was real because he was to Chris. It's also funnier that way. If you didn't know that without having to be told, you're more autistic than Chris.
Ryan Cash (11 September 1996 - December 2008) was a devoted Sonichu fan who committed suicide when Chris announced there would be no comics released in protest of the Encyclopedia Dramatica page. He was the little brother of later Miscreant leader Clyde Cash, and a cousin of Vivian Gee. Following his death, his older brother Clyde launched a mission to avenge his death, a mission that teeters between unwavering justice and obsessive vengeance.
Ryan's suicide note
—A sad final farewell.
Chris was first notified of the death of Ryan in a December 18th IRC chat. His reaction at the time was to comment that it was "sad" and that he would make a video acknowledging the tragedy, as well as considering making him a memorial in some form. He also advertised his Sonichu Home Club.
Ryan was mentioned again in another IRC chat on the 22nd of December. Vivian sent Chris a message from the family, saying that they hoped he wasn't too affected by it. Chris said that he had an emotional moment for a while, but that he'd already got over it. When asked if he had a message for the family, Chris answered; "Try to move on and live life as peacefully as possible; I'm sure Ryan would have wanted his family to be happy as much as possible. I know that God and Jesus would have told them the same thing from the bible."
A full week and a half after he first promised it, Chris finally got around to acknowledging the death in a video in CWC Update 28 December 2008, where in he briefly mentioned Ryan in between thanking his fans for helping him win the GameStop Be A Star Sweepstakes and advertising his Sonichu Home Club more.
—Chris, going from offering condolences to the family, to marveling at his own power, to the Transformers movie in less than a minute.
When Clyde later threatened revenge on Chris for killing his brother and his lack of remorse about it, Chris responded with the video Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash, in which he told Clyde to find a girlfriend and get over it.
| I'm addressing this video to Clyde Cash, older brother of Ryan, who, uh, s—who sadfully commi—committed suicide upon himself when I... made the idle threat to, uh, stop my—stop doing my comics in, uh, protest of the Encyclopedia Dramatica page.
Clyde, I'm sorry your brother died, but that doesn't mean you have to go pickin' on me for the cause of his death, because... I did not do any—I did not do it personally to him, and I did not mean to do it. I'm just an—I'm just an innocent bystander in all this. Even though... I gave him the reason. I'm sorry. You don't have to do anything mean. I mean, would Cly—would... Clyde. Would Ryan want you to go... killi—would Ryan want you to doin' anything stupid as torturing other people or even go as far as killing them? You don't have to do this. Just live on your life and move on. You'll find yourself a girlfriend! And she'll make you about as—she'll make you happier than... possibly how, uh, Ryan could have done it. You don't have to go off killing people. You don't have to harm anybody, emotionally or physically. Just take some deep breaths... some time to yourself. Maybe find yourself, uh...shoot, what's the wor—find yourself a counselor at your local church that you can talk to. And, uh, hopefully, you'll feel better.
I mean, I feel for you, man. I mean, I've had people die on—die on me somet—some—a few times before, and I went to their funerals. But I didn't—I did not want to go off torturing and killing anybody in response. I just basically waited out for my sad emotions to, uh... eventually fade away and you know I did get better from that. I mean, my dog died. I was sad. I cried for weeks. But yet I got over it. I saw my—I saw Patti in my dreams. And she reassured me that thing were—that she was okay, and that God is taking good care of her. And with that I'm—I was able to move on, live my life a little bit more happier and more luckily. Been ov—been over a year—been over two years now since she died.
Clyde, you do not have to do anything rash or drastic. Just move on. You'll find a lot of other things that make about AS or greater than happy as you were with, uh, Ryan around. Just take it one day at a time, one moment at a time. You'll get over it. Peace, mon.
Unsurprisingly, Clyde didn't take kindly to Chris's insensitive speech, and he embarked on a spree of revenge for several months. For a start, he posed as a Nintendo employee named Gregg Mays and hacked Chris's website Sonichu.net and bought it down, along with its successor site, Sonichu.info. He also impersonated Shigeru Miyamoto as well, thwarting attempts at creating a Sonichu video game in the Miyamoto Saga, and he raped and impregnated Chris's sweetheart PandaHalo as well, eventually also marrying her and raising their child. Successor trolls like BlueSpike, Jack Thaddeus and the Man in the Pickle Suit all continued Clyde's work afterwards, while Clyde himself seemingly retired from master trolling, feeling Ryan to be adequately avenged.
- IRC (18 December 2008) - first mention of Ryan's death
- IRC (22 December 2008)
- CWC Update 28 December 2008
- IRC (02 January 2009)
- Chris's Plea to Clyde Cash
- Chris and death
|---- Christian Weston Chandler's People ----|
Enemies: Michael Snyder | Adam Stackhouse | Wes Iseli | Mary Lee Walsh | CADD Chef | Bagget | ScotPalazzo | Manajerks | B-Manajerk | Jerkhief | W-M-Manajerk | Kirby McDerbie | "Lady" Manajerk | Yellow-Shirted Foe | Omar Woodley | Lulu.com's executives | Pmurt
Trolls: Liquid Chris | Clyde Cash | Jack Thaddeus | Jason Kendrick Howell | Kathleen | Man in the Pickle Suit | BILLY MAYS | Vivian Gee | Sarah May | Robert Simmons V | Jimmy Hill | Shigeru Miyamoto | Reggie Fils-Aimé | Takashi Tezuka | Jay Z | Surfshack Tito | Jeff/Francine | Arthur Spatchcock | Johan
Other: Abusive babysitter | Hanna | Ryan Cash | Vanessa Hudgens | Bruce Johnson | Virginia Jeanine Sanford | Rocky Shoemaker | Rob Bell | William Elliott Waterman | Mia Hamm | Lori Lopez | Caitlin | Chloe | Officer Nasty | Kimmi | Kenneth Erwin Englehardt | DStecks