Chris and sexuality
- This article is specifically about sexual orientations. For Chris's general views and relationship with human sexuality, see Chris and sex.
|“||we can kiss at the future time.||”|
|Chris declaring his love for amateur sorcerer Jacob Sockness.|
To this day, Chris's sexuality is very bizarre. Before Bob's death, Chris had an intense fear of "falling off the straight path". He feared that by being in contact with gay people, he himself, would pick up the gay virus, and his LoveQuest would take a complete 180. He then identified himself as a "lesbian transwoman" with a "lesbian soul". Later, the Idea Guys brainwashed him into identifying as bisexual.
- Main article: Homos
As stated above, Chris used to have an irrational fear towards homosexual men, particularly out of fear that he would become a homo himself. This strange idea stems from his belief that all homosexual men wish to push their sexuality onto other people. As a result, even saying the word "homosexual" made him queasy. As an alternative, he referred to gay men as "homos", an already existing derogatory term for homosexuals. Chris's main justification for his hatred towards homos was that they supposedly go against God's Will, and even used Stewie Griffin's citation of Leviticus as evidence that homosexuality is a sin, despite it being an obvious joke that flew over his head, in which Stewie Griffin himself has shown homoerotic desires throughout Family Guy, while citing why homosexuality is a sinful act.
|“||Tranny Pride, Worldwide!||”|
|Chris calling himself a derogatory term for transgenders, 14 August 2014|
Given that Chris lacks basic English skills, it shouldn’t be surprising that he has trouble navigating the linguistic minefield of transgender, transsexual, transvestite, intersex, bisexual, hermaphrodite, and his own tomgirl. For someone who hates mislabelings, he sure is sloppy when it comes to these labels. On his OKCupid profile, when asked, "Would you date a transgender person," he replied, "Yes, as long as she was born female and was still female (or a tomboy)." He told Jackie that the fact that he loved wearing women’s clothing did not make him a “transvestite.” He told gal-pal Rebeckah Bentley that the unclit made him “bisexual” when he meant intersex; he promptly flipped his shit when Rebeckah asked if he wanted to fuck dudes now. All of Chris’s claims about sexuality or gender identity need to be viewed through an autistic filter.
That said, Chris has spent many years struggling to articulate his position on transgender topics. In the early years of trolling, he confessed that he was uncomfortable with the idea of transgender people, and made it clear that he was not sexually attracted to them. “I have given thought about the transgenders and transvesites; I do not feel comfortable with them….[D]icks are dicks, and I do not care about them, except for my own,” he wrote in a January 2009 chat. He later reiterated: “I Do Not Care Much for Transgender People or Hermaphrodites, but I do not discriminate them as individual people.”
|“||I would NEVER CARE to have sex with a Hermaphrodite.||”|
|Classic Chris, 15 January 2010|
Yet somehow, he could not let the issue rest...when Bailey Jay introduced herself to Chris in a Mailbag letter, revealing some naughty selfies, Chris’s initial reaction was completely phobic at the sight of this "hermaphrodite." Later though, after Jay let Chris know that he had hurt her feelings, he reached into his shallow well of empathy. "I can relate to how you feel. Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I was born female instead, because of some of my emotional, caring, self-conscious thoughts I had in my lifetime. Then I would later remember that God must have made me all straight male for good reasons." When Chris looked at this beautiful woman with a large pickle, he saw a distorted reflection of himself. He was not yet ready to abandon his “straight male” identity, though.
After becoming a tomgirl in 2011, even though he was still officially a "heterosexual" and "proud to be male," some of his words and actions betrayed a deeper gender confusion. He started using women’s restrooms. He told Jackie that he fantasized about "fit[ting] in at a lesbian bar," where he believed he would have no trouble seducing a lesbian and persuading her to bone "in lesbian's position (the scissor-thing) with my dick in her vag." In December 2013 he confessed to Rebeckah, "I wish I was born female, with the possibility of being a lesbian." He still seemed unsettled, especially since being a tomgirl wasn’t working to attract a Sweetheart/Soulmate.
On 14 August 2014, he came out publicly, although as what exactly wasn’t certain, given his garbled and inconsistent vocabulary. The initial announcement was that he was "a Tomgirl, Intersex of Female Soul with Male Body, and a Tranny Cross-Dresser." Apparently unbeknownst to Chris, intersex is a chromosomal condition causing ambiguous genitalia and can present in many forms, none of which appear to be true of Chris. Then he said he was a "Lesbian Identified Man and a Cross-Dressing Tranny." Two weeks later he was telling Catherine that he was a "Lesbian tomgirl transgender male" but also "three-quarters woman." By September he seemed to have settled on "Lesbian Transgender (a Female, Lesbian Soul trapped in a male body)." In April 2015, apparently no longer a "man," he changed his Facebook pronoun to "she" and his name to "Christine". This month also saw the beginning of a flurry of Facebook "likes" for all sorts of progressive transgender issues, such as restroom choice and gay marriage. Whatever he was, he was certainly proud of it, and wasted no time trying to persuade his new L(G)BT personal army to wage war against local manajerks.
Does Chris want the operation?
Almost immediately upon being discovered, Chris revealed that he had been giving a lot of thought to contingencies which might require him to lop off his duck. In 2007 he told Megan, “if I ever stoop down to changing my path [i.e., becoming a homo], I might as well would get a gender change operation.” He also made it clear to anyone who asked that he was literally nauseated by the sight of his own penis (and all other penises). It might seem self-evident, then, that Lesbian Transgender Chris would be eager to undergo sex reassignment surgery. However, in his intellectual discourses on transgender controversies, Chris has expressed some ambivalence. In a February 2009 chat, when asked if transwomen should "go under the knife," Chris replied:
|“||Um...[long pause] no. I- no no. And also I'll tell you- I'll tell you this- and if I ever have a trans-gender child with both sets of, uh, with both sets of uh, genitals, I would uh, raise that child to be a boy.||”|
|Chris, apropos of nothing|
He similarly told a troll impersonating transgender porn actress Bailey Jay (who also hadn’t asked) that "if I should ever have a hermaphrodite for a child, I would raise that child with the mentality of a boy/man."
For a long time, these were puzzling statements, given his hatred for JERKS and all manner of pickled cucumbers. As his own gender identity mutated, however, Chris revealed his reasoning. In early 2014, on his OKCupid Q&A, he was faced with the question, "Imagine you have a newborn child whose sex cannot be determined. A risk-free surgery performed immediately could provide normal male or female sexual and reproductive function. Which would you choose?" Chris’s answer was, "Do not perform the surgery." He added,
|“||If a Hermaphrodite, I would raise it to be male regardless since it would not have any eggs anyway. Plus big bonus for (him) in sex with all women (lesbians included I would imagine).||”|
|Chris, exemplifying the wisdom of Solomon|
In other words, there were two obstacles in the way of Chris losing his duck. First, a sex change operation wouldn’t provide him with reproductive organs. Since, as a woman, he would not be able to give the birth to Crystal personally (which is his true fantasy), he must first impregnate someone, as many times as necessary until the appearance of his God-promised daughter. He can’t adopt, because Crystal must come from "blood, tears, and semenal descent." He criticized fellow tranny Ahuviya (whom he incorrectly believed to be Jack Thaddeus) for trying to have the operation, claiming that he "would definitely not be considered any at all a woman--a woman whatsoever" because "he would not have a uterus, and he would have no repoductive [sic] organs. I mean, I want to have children someday. Obviously, he don't."
In late 2014, he could not persuade a sperm bank, lesbians on a message board, or his friend Renee to serve as the vessel for Crystal. So for now, its purpose unfulfilled, the Ugly Growth must remain.
The second reason he can’t get the surgery is that the duck is an Attraction Sign. As much as he loves to crow about being a "Lesbian," Chris wants to be "open to all women, Straight, Bi, and Lesbian." In a May 2015 Facebook Q&A, regarding the operation, he was equivocal, and wrote, "I am exploring making the best of this body for Any Woman born with a vagina." If he wants to be everything for everybody, he will need to hold onto the duck.
It should also be noted that Chris doesn’t have a fucking clue how sex reassignment works. In June 2015 he posted an advertisement on Facebook: “I deserve to be a full woman with a full functioning vagina. A- blood type, if anyone wants to put up the money and trade.” As with most things he wants, Chris prefers to sit on his fat lesbian ass and wait for "a Magical Transformation of my body from Male to completely Female." Not that Chris could afford sex reassignment, as it costs thousands of dollars, while Chris struggles to pay his basic bills and spends what little he does save on frivolities like trips to BronyCon.
Before his slide into “femdom,” Chris used the intersex character Silvana to symbolize the evil trolls. The evil Count Graduon told her, “I am going to grant you with the power to transform like a Ditto. My price is that you will have to relinquish your ability to give birth, and you will be upgraded to have both parts. So with the biological upgrade complete, your years of training can begin.” She proceeded to seduce and horrify the tranquil community.
After Chris modified his gender identity, Robee Sonichu also became a tomgirl, and later a full-fledged male lesbian; his/her transition story is a major part of the plot of Sonichu 11. In May 2015 he confirmed that Comic Chris was also a “Lesbian Transwoman,” and retconned Chris-Chan Sonichu as a D-cup female with “a uterus and ovaries,” possibly to be renamed Chrissy-Chan Rosechu. Then, through the power of his imagination, Chris managed to impregnate himself with a turkey baster and give birth to twins. This scenario is probably as realistic as Chris ever getting a handle on his own gender.
In Sonichu 11, Collosal Chris-Chan learns of his future self's identity and reflects on it, reasoning that he is not fond of partaking in "brutish things" following his meaningless destruction of the 4-cent garbage building and subsequent murdering of several inhabitants, his battle with Mary Lee Walsh in which he permanently paralyzes her with lighting-based weaponry, and his then-retconned execution of the Asperpedia Four. Chris then magically starts transforming into a voluptuous woman, a sequence inspired by artist Miss Mako and her collection of genderbending videos. To him, transitioning is a technique that simply requires an epiphany and anchuent powers to immediately turn into a full-fledged woman.
On 6 December 2017, Chris confirmed in a Facebook post that Rosechu was in fact, male at birth, but had her genitals changed during a sex change operation before the events of Sonichu 8. He suggested that this backstory would be explored in the Sonichu 15 retelling of her and Sonichu's origins. However, he was extremely uncomfortable with this announcement, and deeply in denial of the "revelation", which heseems to believe came directly from the fictional character herself. In reality, the idea to make Rosechu trans probably originates with the Idea Guy and its status as Sonichu canon is likely provisional.
- Main article: Bisexual
Up until 2014, Chris hasn't been too open on his views on bisexuality. Beforehand, he has hinted traces of tolerance towards bisexuality, though. In Mailbag 33, Chris has hinted that his views on bisexuals were almost no different from his views on homosexuals. When asked about bisexuality, along with other sexualities, Chris simply replies that while people of all sexualities deserve to be treated equal, only marriage between man and woman are allowed, implying that Chris may have been somewhat accepting of bisexuals due to one side of them being attracted to the opposite sex.
According to the answers he submitted on a list of OkCupid questions in mid-2014, he would consider dating a bisexual. On the same list of questions, there is a question which asks "If you were going to have a daughter, which sexual orientation would you hope she would have?" and gives the choices "Straight", "Lesbian", "Bisexual", and "It wouldn't matter to me" as possible answers. Chris chose "It wouldn't matter to me" as his answer, hinting once again that besides being tolerant towards straights and lesbians, he seemed to show some amount of tolerance towards bisexuals too. Although, seeing how he hasn't fully accepted male homosexuals until late 2014, this could be because the question was asking specifically about his daughter, which means that either way, she's straight or lesbian, a win-win situation.
Some people tend to confuse bisexuality with pansexuality, the attraction towards all sorts of people regardless of their sex, gender identity, or sexuality. Chris appears to be one of these people. On August 2014, Chris announced that his character Christine Rosechu is bisexual. He has later claimed that as a bisexual, Christine Rosechu is attracted to just about everyone. In March 2017, he commented on a Huffington Post article to offer sympathy to a bisexual woman.
Some autistic people simply do not understand sexual attraction (for example, high-functioning autistic and hugbox inventor Temple Grandin chooses to be celibate because she admits that she really does not understand sexual attraction and that she lacks the ability, as a consequence of her autism, to engage in a sexual relationship). This could explain some of Chris's views regarding sex and romance; he genuinely cannot understand the appeal of most sexual activity, aside from the fact he's seen people in the media do it and that he thinks that sex is something all men need to experience in order to become complete adults.
As the act of sexual intercourse and relationships in general are fairly social activities, it's quite possible that Chris views the act of losing his virginity as something of a rite of passage--something he needs to do in order to validate his own sexuality and prove to the world that he's a capable "adult". Chris also fails to realize that relationships are give and take. Every sweetheart that Chris has had, which eventually turned out to be a troll involved long, received relentless emails and calls in which Chris prattled on and on about how much he "loved" them and how he was looking forward to finally having sex. After supposedly losing his virginity, it's unknown if he still craves sexual intercourse as much as he did before. One thing was still certain, however, is that he still fervently desired the attention of a sweetheart. Upon first meeting Katherine in person, Chris admitted that he wanted to spend the entire day with her, such as go bra shopping, then have her spend the night at his house and then he would get breakfast for her in the morning. With Jess, he talked about how they were to meet in person, and then the next day go to the MLP movie screening (implying she would spend the night). He also has a habit of staring at women's chests.
After he was introduced to the term by his Mailbag correspondents, Chris took to interpreting and using "asexual" as an insult. In his CWCipedia page on The Wallflower, he referred to her as a "Got-Dang Asexual Woman!". He also became very offended when Jackie implied that he liked video games more than women, ranting that she should not label him as asexual (and missed her point completely).
However, considering Chris's incessant shoehorning of entirely unnecessary sex into the comics, and the ludicrous efforts he goes to get some China, he does seem to possess sexual desire - though not necessarily for women, as these things could simply be part of his efforts to disprove his much-feared homosexuality.
Further, an asexual does not necessarily look for sex in a relationship. Most asexuals seek romantic partners or just prefer platonic friendships. Chris however, seems to develop sexual feelings for every girl he meets and appears to believe it is required (not to mention during the Adam Saga he mentioned wanting to bring Megan to Washington to "change her mind" on sex after she had told him she was asexual (whether she is or said it to get him off her back is not known) and make her the mother of Crystal. Altogether, it's unlikely that Chris is asexual.
In the original Sonichu 10, Chris listed asexuals as "those who needed to be cured" by drinking the contaminated "straight water". It has been said he feels asexuals are "missing out". As his views have allegedly changed on other sexualities (i.e. gay men and bisexuals), whether or not his views on asexuals have changed remains a mystery.
- Brassieres For Males#Chris comes out
- List of OkCupid Answers
- Jackie E-mails 24
- Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Introducing the un-clit
- IRC (03 January 2009)
- Mailbag 26#Reusing the same excuses for everything else!
- Mailbag 39#Shemales and man-tits
- Mailbag 25#It's a trap! and Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?
- Jackie E-mails 25
- Rebeckah Bentley E-mails#Dead end of a life
- August 2014 Facebook Posts#Chris comes out...kinda, August 2014 Facebook Posts#Flirt the skirt!, Catie Date Conversation Transcript#Understanding the whole tomgirl thing, and September 2014 Facebook Posts#Alright, Alright, NOW It's OK to Be Gay
- April 2015 Facebook posts#A new pronoun
- Megan emails, Aug-Dec 2007#Chris is angry about Megan kissing her friend, then pities himself
- Mumble 6#On The Transgender Community
- Mailbag 27#Is Chris hitting on Bailey Jay?
- List of OkCupid Answers
- List of Christian's edits to Encyclopedia Dramatica#10 November
- Calling Out Jack Thaddius - Ahuviya
- May 2015 Facebook posts#All This and Eye-Contact Too! and May 2015 Facebook posts#The Mailbag Returns
- June 2015 Facebook Posts#Let's Trade Genitalia
- Open Relationship E-mails#Depressed on Christmas
- Sonichu 8 Official Videobook#Episode 18
- May 2015 Facebook posts#Meet Russel and Cynthia
- Jackie E-mails 2