My Breast Massage Routine 18+

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My Breast Massage Routine 18+ is a video uploaded by Chris on 5 April 2016. Chris shows us how he ritualistically fondles his man boobs in an attempt to make them larger, having created a playlist of YouTube videos featuring "Breast Growth Hypnosis" days beforehand. Judging by his bragging about his bra size and the presence of nipple pasties, this was likely made by Chris in an attempt to seduce potential girlfriends, similar to his previous video, though through far more unsettling means. He measures his bust size and proudly points himself out to be a 38D, even though this size is caused by his masculine chest breadth and his obesity, not by his breasts (which remain an A cup). However, Chris's moobs are at least big enough that The Playroom mistook them for actual titties and censored the nipples.

Other noteworthy moments occur when he mocks women for sagging breasts saying "that's crazy" in the same video he shows off his obese stomach, and when he continues attempting to appeal to feminists with #FreeTheNipple in attempt to get some china.

Video

My Breast Massage Routine 18+
Stardate 5 April 2016
Subject Matter SexSex Sex
Performance Style CrazyCrazy Crazy
Saga TomgirlTomgirl Tomgirl
Shirt None
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Description

A freeform breast massage routine I've figured out for myself; practice and perform for at least five minutes.

Transcript

-completely undressed. Anyway this vid- [jump cut] eighteen and up; you do [stream freezes] title [and again] eighteen plus, so if you're not that old, I [and again] so yeah, talkin' about... Breast massage. So... heh... tiny tease, but still. You can definitely see, I'm there. Ow![?] And just to... make sure everybody knows... for positive... [Chris measures his gut ] I mean my bra size... I, go down, back, about, uh, about two, but yeah, technically, but yeah, measured myself at 40 right here... and come round to the front here... and this will take into account my recent... experiments with the subliminals, so... you might see a slight increase from previous [incoherent]... the measuring thing... mmm, yeah... I just had a shower, so... little wet... yeah right there, it's a little bit over 44 and a half. So, from 40 to 44 to fourish[?] difference confirms... that I am indeed... a D cup. And now I [incomprehensible] bras... was a perfect fit. 38D.

Anyhow, so, let's get right down to the, uh, point I'm recording this for. Uhh, because I'm looking to increase my breast size, I have uh, looked into various try-at-home techniques of which I have been very much... persistent upon, including supplements and whatnot. But definitely among which is the way of massaging. So, u--from uh, we're gonna try to figure out from one or two videos I watched that talk about massaging like this, I kinda put heads and tails together.

For a few--just kinda like, free-form, also, so... it's like I go, squeeze 'em from the top upwards and make sure I'm cupping my breasts all the way... so I go... I do this, you can do this for as long as you feel like on each. Octag-- each side of this octagon here, so anyway, you wanna do the top first... or whichever side you feel comfortable with... that's my suggestion... and then you go up here... then to the insides... like that... and then, right there... and to the bottom, and to the, the, the opposite sides, uh, uh, w-normally I would say from the bottom there, sides, and up, but yeah, that's just--just doing it all at once, spreading your fingers all the way out and...[Chris wipes his forehead] So anyways, once again, it's a... up, up, right left, up, and you each--do each part for as long as you feel like, until your fingers get tired, and you keep 'is ob--you do this for like, a minimal of five minutes or so.

Mmm, also, uh, couple other topics, yeah--actually, one of which was confirming my cup size to y'all for you naysayers and haters, so, hmm. Definitely a... [Chris makes a "D" with his fingers] D cup. Mmm. [unintelligible] D. Well anyway, yes, D cup. 38-D. My bra, though it's 40, with the measuring tape, going down two inches. Anyhow, I have uh also, been made--Ik also--I have also aware about how people hate on women who nursefeed their babies and children in public. I support the women on being able to do that. Even in public, or in the privacy of their own home, wherever--they should be allowed to, very much, to feed their children the way they au--the way they want to, even if it means revealing themselves. So, all the power to y'all. And of course I still support, very much, the uh, choice of how, rather or not women want to wear a bra or not... free the nipple. I support your choices very much. Although in my expert opinion, I feel like considering they tend to--the breasts will tend to droop down as the years go on, y'know I think that's definitely the better reason why, I feel like the best reason to definitely wear a brassiere, for support and keeping 'em up here instead of down here. That's crazy.

Alright, well, that's all for now, so... there'll be an--there'll be other updates and whatnot. Also, uh, soon to come, more available official attire and gift products, from another shop that I'll be opening up very soon and where other people will be, are doing that work. And they're getting paid too, so, just letting y'all know. Thank you, and have a good safe day.

Nerdy Q&A Chris's videos Happy Birthday, Martin.