The CWCki needs help! Please consider clicking the tugboat to make a donation

PlayStation 4

From CWCki
(Redirected from PS4)
Jump to: navigation, search
Tugboat.jpg YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK!
The contents of this page have been bought with tax payer money!
SocialSecurityLogo.jpg


The PlayStation 4 is a video game console created by Sony, originally released in North America on 15 November 2013. It is the best selling console of the eighth generation of gaming, alongside the HEXbox One (with the Wii U trailing behind in sales but never falling off the market share). At least 35.9 million consoles have been sold by January 2016.

Despite his fanaticism for the system's predecessor (and his tendency to spend hundreds of dollars on games for it), for two years following its release Chris made no indication of wanting to buy the life upgrade upgrade. This was most likely due to his family's health problems (compounded by his run-in with the law) draining him of funds - as evidenced by him repeatedly begging people to give him money/buy him LEGO sets. He did however show contempt for its competition - getting banned from his local Walmart for defacing an Xbox One standee - but this was the only thing he had to say about the modern "console wars" (which have been intense enough to be dramatized in South Park, among other places). He also purchased a Wii U some time later.

This would change in February 2016, around his 34th birthday.

The birthday saga

The outset

On the first of the month, Chris asked for a PS4 and PlayStation Camera on Facebook alongside a slew of specifications - notably, he would later specify a white Destiny bundle. Whomsoever saw fit to waste their hard-earned money on this gift would be "reimbursed" with a $500 voucher for Chris's Etsy shop - Chris naturally believing that his comics, medallions, and amiibo are worth hundreds of dollars. In fact, a $500 voucher would probably allow the donator to buy everything in the shop and still have around $50 in now-useless funds to spare. Having already given extremely specific demands for this "gift", Chris would further elaborate that buying him anything less than the Destiny bundle and camera would reduce the value on the voucher.

Sorry, but really though give me a PS4

The twelfth would see Chris upload a video that opens with a customarily insincere apology - though he openly states he doesn't understand why anyone would be offended - then reiterates his demands at the end of the video.

Things go sour

Incredibly, February 24th came and went without anyone sending him a PS4 - instead, weens sent Chris worthless gift cards and a losing lottery ticket. A day later, he would upload another video complaining about this. Bizarrely, Chris appeared to have been so confident that someone would send him an expensive video game console that he became somewhat depressed when they didn't.

Chris finally gets one

Chris using PS4 applications - the first bit of evidence that he had purchased one.

However, despite all his whining, it transpired on 5 March 2016 that he had, in fact, obtained a PS4. It was widely held that Chris had just bought it for himself, but Chris credited a "Miss Kagney Lynn Moore from Seattle, Washington" as the ludicrously magnanimous donor. Closer examination of his Facebook page and of the order details showed that, of course, Chris had just bought it himself.. The name of the fictional donor could be derived from Kagney Lynn Karter and Kevin Moore, who have appeared in porn films together.

Epilogue

Having spent hundreds of dollars on a toy, Chris began to beg incessantly for donations he did nothing to earn shortly after in many videos.

PS4 games Chris owns

PSN Activity tracker
Chris was last spotted playing Yu-Gi-Oh! Legacy of the Duelist for the PS4.
Chris has spent over $8581.62 of YOUR money!

Chris's PSN is Sonichu. You can see his profile here.

Note: This table only covers games Chris has earned at least one trophy in. Another table is shown below covering games that are at 0% and he has evidently not touched. A full list can be seen on his PSN profile, here.

Game Trophies Progress Comments
LEGO DIMENSIONS 78 100% A "toys-to-life" game (ala Skylanders or amiibo) that is rather infamous for being much more expensive than its competitors.
Life is Strange 61 100%
My Name is Mayo 51 100%
Ratchet & Clank 47 100%
Life is Strange: Before the Storm 35 100%
The Order: 1886 22 100%
Level 22 21 100%
Sonic Mania 18 100%
Letter Quest Remastered 12 100%
Three Fourths Home: Extended Edition 7 100%
Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back 22 87%
Sonic Forces 45 80%
Crash Bandicoot 21 80%
Yu-Gi-Oh! Legacy of the Duelist 17 80%
Back to Bed 13 80%
Gone Home 9 71%
PaRappa the Rapper Remastered 19 51%
Don't Die, Mr. Robot! 7 38%
Minecraft: PlayStation 4 Edition 38 31%
Burnout Paradise Remastered 25 31%
Giana Sisters: Twisted Dreams - Director's Cut 6 31%
LEGO Worlds 26 29%
Crash Bandicoot: Warped 10 23%
Little Big Planet 3 10 21%
Uncharted: Drakes' Fortune Remastered 15 20%
PaRappa the Rapper 2 4 19%
THE BIT.TRIP 9 18%
Freedom Planet 3 15%
Pure Chess 3 14%
Minecraft: Story Mode 7 13%
The Disney Afternoon Collection 2 10%
Skylanders SuperChargers 5 9%
DC Universe Online 5 8%
Destiny 6 7% Star of a "Let's Play" (that was completely silent, thanks to Chris's cluelessness).
Sword Art Online: Lost Song 4 6%
THE PLAYROOM 2 6% A collection of AR minigames built into the system. Most notable for being banned from streaming after a man stripped and groped his drunk wife live.
Shovel Knight 4 5%
ZOMBI 3 4%
Skylanders Trap Team 2 3%
God of War 2 2%
Guitar Hero Live 2 2%
Mother Russia Bleeds 2 2%
Skylanders SWAP Force 2 2%
Mighty No. 9 1 1%
Transformers Devastation 1 1%
PAYDAY 2: Crimewave Edition 1 1%

Games at 0%

Chris has 29 games which have been purchased but without trophies or progress which can be assumed to have not been booted up.

Game Release Date
Uncharted 2: Among Thieves Remastered 2015
Hitman GO: Definitive Edition 2016
Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception Remastered 2015
Toy Soldiers War Chest 2015
Tetris Ultimate 2014
HELLDIVERS 2015
The Treasures of Montezuma 4 2015
PixelJunk Shooter Ultimate 2015
The Swapper 2014
Hohokum 2014
inFAMOUS Second Son 2014
Woah Dave! 2014
Retro City Rampage DX 2014
Race The Sun 2014
Grim Fandango Remastered 2015
Killzone Shadow Fall 2013
Call of Duty: Black Ops III 2015
Nova-111 2015
Thomas Was Alone 2014
Terraria 2014
Hotline Miami 2014
Invokers Tournament 2015
KNACK 2013
Lone Survivor 2013
Shütshimi 2015
DOOM 2016
Overwatch: Origins Edition 2016
Psycho-Pass: Mandatory Happiness 2016
Uncanny Valley 2017