Future message from Crystal W Chandler

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I am not naive nor dumb. I am very keen and psychic, and I had foreseen his arrival and discussion in a dream long beforehand.

On 3 April 2019, Chris enlisted someone's help to record Future message from Crystal W Chandler. The troll (or just some guy being held at gunpoint), role-playing as Reginald Chandler and donned in a white suit, hat, mask, sunglasses, and – most concerningly – a slave collar, reads a poem relaying a message from his sister, Crystal, on the state of the Dimensional Merge.


Message from Crystal W Chandler of the future
Direct link Youtube, archive
Stardate 3 April 2019
Performance Style ComedyComedy Comedy, ReasonReason Reason, CrazyCrazy Crazy
Saga Merge SagaMerge Saga Merge
Goodwill Offering and Kindest Wishes
Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video


Masked Man: Hello everyone, far and near. I have something you want to hear, so please use your ears before I disappear. Let's make something clear before we start. I have a good purple heart that won't fall apart.

We are all about to take part in a new event segment which will indent what you call the cement. My intent is to present the news which will eliminate the torment and discontent.

Chris: [spoken like he's holding the man at gunpoint] Just keep reading.

[The camera zooms in and tilts to the side.]

Masked Man: I am that supplement to a lesser extent.

[Camera backs away.]

Christine has been hell-bent on being a parent, so she made a pleasant investment- investment and got my mother pregnant. I am a Fluorescent Adolescent, a direct descendant, and not the only attendant.

There is one other: Crystal.

[Camera zooms up close to the reader's lower body.]

And I am her brother.

[Camera backs away]

There is much you don't know unless I show. But that is a no-go. Right now I am here solo, but soon I will have my shadow: a lovely combo.

There will be no tiptoe around the tempo. I must let go of my manifesto and go back to the golden good old Babylonian weeping willow below the Jim Crow plateau. I hope I have walked this difficult tightrope well under a light microscope. Nonetheless, God bless. Thanks for working with me in this process. More or less, it's still a work in progress. I hope to bring happiness for all...

[Pauses as he flips through his papers to get to the next page. The camera moves in, then out.]

...parties. And please don't sniff those gnarly Sharpies.


MKRNightVee clarified the subject matter:

For those who are confused: This is a message from Christine's son about the merge. I hope that helps clarify things ^-^

In the comment thread, another Twitter user, with a private account, made a few comments expressing doubt about the video's content. Chris's responses:

FUTURE Son, at least in reincarnated-to-be soul.
Yeah, you can shut up; you do not fully understand how Fate and Destiny works.
I realize the more likely; I am not naive nor dumb. I am very keen and psychic, and I had foreseen his arrival and discussion in a dream long beforehand. And I genuinely do not get many face-to-face troll visits at my home. ⚡️💙⚡️

In July 2020, Chris (pretending to be possessed by Sonichu) tweeted about the video, implying that he still thought it was genuine.

See Also

Goodwill Offering and Kindest Wishes Chris's videos Sonichu Headquarters Google Intro Video