Kiwi Farms posts (Null)

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This page is an archive of Null's key posts about Chris on the online forum Kiwi Farms. Posts are sorted by date.

Countering Cville Ween

19 September 2015[1]

Regarding Cville Pride:

Bullshit sent to convention staff using my email:

CVille Ween Impersonates Null.png

Response from their staff:

I am so glad you brought this to our attention . Please give me more details so I can address this right away. We did have a member who is autistic and transgendered and was volunteering by drawing caricatures at our table however our table was staffed by employees all day . Not only do We NOT condone that type of behavior from a member or an employee as we practice and teach consent culture at our center but I actively fight against patriarchal violence , domestic violence ,and terrorism of women in my everyday life. I am so deeply sorry that your daughter was violated . I will take immediate action . Can you please describe the homophobic language used, a description of the person ( to the best of your ability ), and the inappropriate touch. Your daughter has the right to feel safe and again , I will make sure that this will never happen again at our booth to the very best of my ability. Please contact me if there is anything else I can do . Sincerely , [Name Removed] [Phone Number Removed]
Edit 1:

True & Honest reply:


Please ignore the previous email. I am the administrator of an Internet forum which is dedicated to odd and eccentric people. The person described is one of the people we follow and he is very aware of our existence. Someone has used my email to send a complaint to you posing as a concerned parent to get the volunteer, probably named Christian/Christine Chandler, in trouble for their own amusement.

While Chris is an oddity, if he has done nothing wrong that you've personally witnessed, please do not reprimand him. As the account holder for the email address supplied with the complaint, I can attest that the details of the accusation are 100% fabricated and should be discredited. I apologize for this intrusion and the unwanted attention and appreciate your professional reply.


Edit 2:

Response from their staff:

Thank you so much for that clarification, we were very surprised at the accusation. We had not witnessed that. However I was not present all day.

Confirming LegendaryChristorian

4 October 2017[2]

Null confirmed that the LegendaryChristorian user is Chris.

In response to a user's comment, "Is Null pulling a prank here or is this legit? I cannot tell anymore.":

His email address is the one he's used for 10 years and his IP address is a mobile device from Ruckersville, Virginia.

Dead Cow

23 January 2018[3]

In response to a user's comment, "Now, that aside: we do need some sort of organized policy for the future.":

There will be no such thing. This is a dead cow and I want everyone who sticks their fingers in the pie to be known to their family and friends as the disgusting fuckhead that made a mentally challenged dragqueen do the nazi salute for money like some sort of circus monkey dancing for peanuts.

Unboxing iPhone

5 June 2018[4]

Having bought Chris's iPhone on eBay, Null created a thread to show it off.

iPhone 6 / 64GB / microSIM card included for $100. Great deal actually. I've never owned an iPhone before but I need one to test some stuff I'm working on in iOS.

Oh gosh "M:heart-full::heart-full:n" unboxing_package - Copy.png

Interesting box to repurpose... unboxing_box - Copy.png

Cerdifidat of audendicity unboxing_auth - Copy.png

Accessories are all present and in good condition. unboxing_accessories - Copy.png

Neat. unboxing_back_of_phone - Copy.png

Looks like the seller forgot to factory reset so I'll just take care of that now. unboxing_phone - Copy.png

All in all it works and I got it for a really good price so I'm happy, although I never wanted to buy an apple product myself. At least it's second hand.

thx for reading my blog post :---DD

Decline of Trolling

16 June 2018[5]

In response to a user asking, "Uhm, yes, but...

And if that is the case, why did you build and maintain a pretty public forum that records and discusses every move Chandler makes..?

I just don't understand it (and I'm glad I don't have to).":

I started hosting the CWCki Forums in 2013. Before Bob died, trolling Chris was particularly funny, but after Bob has died, it has become less funny and more miserable every goddamn year.

Your brain is straining to process that there is even a line to even cross, that there is one bridge too far. You literally cannot understand the difference between the 2006 Chris screaming in his room in a safe and secure environment, and the 2018 Chris who can actually lose his estate because of his mother's unchecked spending and the psychopaths coaxing him into doing shit that jeopardizes his financial security.

That's the line. Fuck these people and fuck people who think Chris is some sort of jointly owned punching bag anyone can just scream at when they're bored. The fact a lot of these fucking animals don't even hide who they are just goes to prove my point. They feel so secure in their actions, so sure Chris cannot retaliate in any way, they don't even fucking bother using a fake email.

Legit Emails

17 June 2018[6]

In response to a user asking, "@Null have you seen any actual good emails in that inbox? Like emails you let Chris see? Or have they all been shit tier quality?":

Someone offered to pay him for the rights to use old Sonichu art as his album art and followed through. A bunch of people sent in information regarding the C64 that was actually useful. TooManyGames also reached out to him and we got in touch with an event coordinator. He should be able to go. The guy was a bit frustrated Chris waited to the very last second but he thinks he can make it happen.

I'm good at this, ok

Edit: Oh also, Hirtes, stop trying to scare TMG. It's not going to work. Chris doesn't carry a baseball bat and you know it. Hang yourself you fleabitten parasite.

The Chris-Chan Extortionists

Main article: The Chris-Chan Extortionists

11 July 2018

Null posted a thread describing the Idea Guys's manipulation over Chris.

Correction to Reverse Mortgage Claim

13 July 2018[7]

In response to a user's comment, "That's what we've thought. If they do have a reverse mortgage, and I don't know the source of that information, nobody would give it to them if the house was already underwater with another mortgage. So either way, they have one or the other but not both. Maybe this was conveyed to Chris by someone, and Barb misrepresented the situation to him, or she represented it in the way a normal person would and Chris being Chris, had no clue about it all.":

I had Chris talk to her. She said that the house was paid off but she took a $108k mortgage on it to pay debts. The $900/mo he gives her is for the mortgage.

Rekieta inaccurately says she sold the house to the bank, and perhaps I used the word reverse-mortgage incorrectly, but she has essentially taken a loan with the house as collateral to pay consumer debt. Chris will almost assuredly lose the house when she dies.

Chris's Beliefs

13 July 2018[8]

In response to a user's comment, "Does Chris believe these characters are real entities?":

He is utterly convinced. I can't approach the topic with him at all. The first thing he asked me when we started talking was if I believed in the alternate dimensions and I said no. He got very mad, started describing his adventures, and I had to walk it back by saying "I can only speak on experience".

Stan Smith

14 July 2018[9]

In response to a user's comment, "which I assume was part of what drove Null and co to investigate":


The Captain knows someone Chris has met in real life who became concerned about Chris, but Chris wouldn't say much about it. Captain was the one who had bought Chris's class ring and wanting to know more told Chris the thing said he was in trouble during the night. Chris believed this and opened up. The Captain realized the extend of the trolling was criminal in nature and then alerted Marvin and I basically like this.

Null linked to a reaction video.

Unrelated, but when Chris first started messaging me he said that Stan Smith from American Dad said I was somehow affiliated with the FBI/CIA, which I think is entirely his head canon. If you wonder why I'm a big softy with Chris, there's a good example.

Sad About Chris's Roleplaying

25 August 2019[10]

Chris just sent me some shit out of the blue and he immediately got upset and shut up after I addressed him as "Chris" instead of Magichan. Every single time I see this ludicrous faggot shit he's doing it's like losing Terry again. It makes me so fucking sad.

Not Dealing with Sockness

3 November 2019[11]

In response to a user's comment, "I’m sorry this happened to you @Null and I hope you can intervene with Sockness.":

I'm not doing shit. Stop tagging me into the Chris board. I don't care.

Chris's Photo for Coin Merch

4 February 2021[12]

In a thread on Null creating silver coins to sell featuring Chris's likeness:

The portrait picture


Chris's Permission for Coin Merch

12 April 2021[13]

Just so everyone knows: when I asked for Chris's permission to use their likeness, Chris was very into the idea. At some point last week, Chris offered to tweet about it and I took the offer up today, which is why the coin is on the Sonichu twitter timeline.

As far as compensation goes, I'll be sending 14blc a bunch of them, but I'll also send some cash over somehow. It may be a situation where I just help pay to help fix the car next time it shits out on them.

Coin Run Compensation

12 April 2021[14]

In a discussion on Null selling coins featuring Chris's likeness, and in response to a user's comment, "I was under the impression this site and its members more or less agreed that you shouldn't pay Chris. So seeing Null give money to Chris is a little strange. If you know he's going to honour the purpose of the money it a little better, but Chris never has come across as honourable.":

I'm compensating him for permission to use his likeness.

Coin Motto

13 April 2021[15]

In response to a user's comment, "The real question is whether or not @Null is going to give Chris-chan some pieces silver to cherish hawk on ebay?":

Of course. Chris can do whatever he wants with his payment. I don't care. Not my money.

In response to the other user's comment, "However, I do remember Null mentioning that Chris was not please with the final outcome.":

Chris wanted a different motto more aligned with his current interests. I wanted something with broad appeal. He wasn't unhappy with it, just wanted something so long that it wouldn't fit on the round.

In response to another user's comment, "Just out of interest, what motto did he want?":

"Zappin' to the Extreme with Sonichu & Rosechu and the Electric Blueheart CPU Goddess" or something

Housing Plan

10 June 2021[16]

In response to a user's comment, "Also on the subject of Chris' abode I heard @Null had plans to help Chris get on assisted living or social housing, since he can't be trusted to put himself on any such waiting list. Did that ever happen or has Null just given up entirely on trying to help Chris?":

I've got a plan in mind, but it'll have to wait until after Barb dies.

Everfree Northwest Announcement

26 June 2021[17]

Everyfree Northwest is an August 13th Bronycon thing.

Problem: It's in Seattle.

Chris's current plan is to drive the van over the rockies to Seattle taking one stop to rest in a parking lot.

I am using executive privilege to veto this plan in favor of a flight itinerary. Chris will need a rental car but has already book a hotel room for the weekend and gotten a pass to go. I'm debating how to get the money for this. Chris is considering a GoFundMe. This might be a good test to see if I can get Chris to do drawings and shoutout videos reliably.

Discuss. Are any of you going there? I might need someone dependable to call on.

Edit: If you're going to this thread to lecture me for helping Chris, or to bitch about Chris doing anything besides working in a Bauxite mine, consider killing yourself instead. I'm not asking you for your money. Chris has a huge following.

Snoopy's Death

15 July 2021[18]

Chris has told me that Snoopy died in his sleep overnight and has been buried with the help of some neighbors. He was over a decade old and had a bad leg due to an accident he had before Chris adopted him.

Summing Up Post-Incest Leak

30 July 2021[19]

Today, this audio and these screenshots were posted.

[Null uploads copies of the Incest Call and Incest Texts.]

They are considered genuine. Nobody knew of this except one person named "Bella", a trollsona of someone called 10thanonymous, who Chris confided this information in.

Early this morning, Greene County Police visited the Chandler residence for a wellness check.

Just now, Chris was served an emergency protective order until August 5th. He is not allowed at 14 Branchland Court until then. He is also not allowed to contact his mother at all. Barbara is at the hospital for a senior care inspection.

Chris has someplace to sleep. I will be disbursing the remainder of the GoFundMe money to him to cover emergency expenses, as promised and as legally obligated of me.

GoFundMe Refund

31 July 2021[20]

Null GoFundMe Update July 31 2021.png

Chris Stole $750 From Barbara

31 July 2021[21]

This is the last post I'm going to be able to make with any privileged information.

Chris gave me access to his emails years ago to help out a while back during the Joshua Wise situation. I've had access since. Chris is aware i have access to his emails, and after changing his passwords recently gave me access to them again. I've helped him deal with trolls signing him up for spam and newsletters and other things like that.

I was going to send Chris his GoFundMe money, but after talking it over and sleeping on it, I've canceled the payment and I've asked GoFundMe to do a total refund.

I told Chris last night to spend one night sleeping in his vehicle, and that this morning I would help him figure out a way to have a roof over his head until August 5th. I suggested that he take some time under the stars to reflect on his situation.

Every so often, Chris gets an email alert that Barb has sent him money. I've always been under the impression that Barb tightly manages his finances and sends him a pittance. However, to my surprise, at 12:38am this morning (so less than 8 hours ago), Barb sent Chris $750.

I asked Chris about this.

Null-CWC Barb's money1.png

Null-CWC Barb's money2.png

This is a lie. Chris lied to my fucking face.

Null-CWC Barb's money3.png

I believe this is a violation of his EPO, as he is prohibited from stealing from her.

EPO snippet.png

I've notified police. I'm done.

Chris's "girlfriend"

31 July 2021[22]

NOTE: In his forum post, Null colored his parts of the below conversation in tan; here, his parts are indicated in italics instead.

July 5th, 2021

Now, I also have a major update to share with you; Strictly Confidential.

The past week up to Sunday the 27th has been a major game-changer for the positive with me. I tell you this in Strictest Confidence, and trust; I do not want word of this on the Kiwi or going public.

But, I had sex with someone last week; someone of this half of our universe. I worked thoroughly and compassionately with her beforehand, and at present. She's physically older than I. If heard, one may say it's something out of an anime or fan fiction. But, yeah, keeping her safe as well. Also, next appointment with my doctor is on the 20th, so I'll get checked then, to be safe. Condoms are being used in the intercourse.

This relationship was something I have extensively given much, much deep thought and within myself. I had foreseen this among the infinite possible outcomes long ago. I no longer believe in labels that would hinder, and I do not listen to those shadows. This was of my own choice and acceptance, and I have no regrets. This feels right and good with I, and her.

Really? How'd you meet?

Well, I’ve met her a while ago, and was not fully aware at the time. And my ally deities guided me to seek her out and make things go further with great effort. We have talked off and on during the time in person. Behind a considerable camouflage, she was, but she was honest in her emotions. And she wanted to be with me as well; mutual feelings on good rapport. This relationship has been, from the start, offline and in-person, I assure you.

Do you have a picture of you and this girl btw?

Woof! Pressing hard for details. I do have photos of my lady friend, but I feel it too personal at this time. I did mention she was older than I; she’s in the over 50’s. And she definitely does not want to be spread around. As one of my more curious followers may have found through my Amazon by now, I even recently purchased a valuable and informative book to add additional guidance.

Guide to Sex and Disability.jpg

I'm not trying to press, just curious. It's good you're both into things like anime

Actually, she doesn’t watch much anime, or animated series, or even television these days for that matter.

Adam West was one of her favourite people back in the 60’s, however, as it was for her son back then.

Well that's cool, I hope it works out

It is


I have found great appreciation for her in reading her deeply, and in listening to her stories and life adventures. Her High School days were quite fun for her. An intellectual, she is; worked a lot in numbers and accounting.

Also, you may note what I have told you of my lady friend so far and in future; I kinda want you to figure it out for yourself, as also the few others I’ve confided strictly with this detail. Don Lashomb and Wildcat are the two others who have additional clues as well. And I’ve mentioned this to my Doctor as well, without mentioning her name directly at all in any event. I will see my doctor on the 20th, so I will get tested to confirm lack of STDs then.

She and I have our romps in the sack every three nights at the present.

It does give her something to look forward to. She is very grateful, and I am also appreciative in being able to enlighten her with sex play she missed out on from even her exes.

You should definitely not tell anyone who she is. It'll only complicate the relationship if people start harassing her.


It's a good sign you've kept it secret so far but don't risk it

Yes. Shhhhh.

We are safe, as long as none of this, even the obscure details, get leaked at all in public view or on Kiwi.

Good idea, I'd honestly advise not telling even people you trust that you have a girlfriend at this point.

Not telling anyone else after you, I do promise.

Barb page highlight.jpg


Patreon Banned Chris

2 August 2021[23]

No idea where to post this but Patreon has banned Chris.

Patreon ban.png

Wanting Null to Kill Someone

5 August 2021[24]

In response to a user's comment, "I wonder if we’ll ever find out what @Null was talking about last year when he said on his podcast Chris asked him to do something that’s Illegal everywhere in the world and always has been (After 3:10)?":

He asked me to kill someone. I don't remember who, I apparently confuse Joshua Wise and Sockness because all these people are stupid irredeemable faggots. I don't know how "illegal everywhere in the world and always has been" has any ambiguity to it but okay.

Vision with Trying to Help Chris

7 August 2021[25]

In response to a user's comment, "You're literally the only person who's come out of this looking remotely good, congratulations on your parkour skills. Did Jace somehow take control of your body for a little while?":

I've said since I joined the original proboards site in 2012 that Chris was a misunderstood weirdo and all the people "helping" him in the past were always doing so backhandedly. It was "help" as in 'offering good advice' while also trolling the shit out of him (i.e. Lars saying to destroy the PS3 and be less lazy so that the fake girl will like him more). I really thought with a fair shake and a sensible plan he could support himself.

I don't think I've ever talked at length at what exactly I was trying to set up.

My vision was that Chris would have a store front like the coin store with a limited stock of commissions. Chris would receive commissions, I'd make sure he'd do them, and then the money would go to an LLC bank account I had some control of. The reason for this is is two-fold, equally important. First, I wanted to make sure the money wasn't mismanaged (duh). Second, I wanted to make sure that he didn't make so much money that he'd lose access to his disability income. There is a limit; if you start earning over $14,000/yr or something they cut you off. I wanted ensure that even if I died Chris would still get his base income without anyone helping with a website.

I've deemed 14BLC a total loss. I can't say for sure what the situation is with the mortgage(s) and I don't know what is going to happen to it now. So, my plan was to think ahead as if the house was going to foreclose, and then when Barb actually died to come over and assess things directly. My thought was that maybe the LLC can buy a property and then somehow let Chris live there without it being considered his income, i.e. living expenses are paid for by the company.

I could then also supplement his insurance and put money into a 401(k) for him.

This could be set up, managed on autopilot, and it would work because Chris was a living legend and his general inaccessibility created scarcity. No random person could ask him for an interview or drawing because he ignored everyone. People WANTED those things, but they couldn't get them by just asking, so they'd pay. The GFM was 100% proof of concept that this plan would succeed.

But I told Chris, after the first convention. I made it explicit to him. If he continued with sexual misconduct, nobody would help him again.

See also


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