CWC Responds to a bully named Johan
CWC Responds to a bully named Johan is a YouTube video Chris uploaded on the 28th of May 2016. Chris explains how he has been bullied by a troll named Johan after getting a lesbian couple to accept fathering his child, only for them to back out due to Johan pointing out Chris is autistic and in turn, Chris sensibly insinuating Johan has AIDS due to his supposed past as a gay pornographic actor. Chris roleplays his account of events with Lego minifigures while squeezed under a child's school desk. The ordeal is acted out in ramblings which become little more than background noise because he chose to play loud dubstep music over his speech, resulting in him being barely audible. Chris seems to be acting the way he did before the Liquid Chris saga, claiming he is being bullied by doing impersonations of his foes and recounting any times trolls have made him do embarrassing things, even naming Megan Schroeder.
Video
| CWC Responds to a bully named Johan | |
| Direct link | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 28 May 2016 |
| Subject Matter |  Trolls
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| Performance Style |  Crazy
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| Saga |  Tomgirl
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| Shirt |  Turquoise Tank Top
|
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous UNCHARTED - There, I made it out alive... |
next CWC vs Johan vote link |
| “ | We are talking gibberish with this guy 'cause we don't remember exactly everything that was said | ” |
| Ever the reliable narrator | ||
Description
| SHAREfactory™ |
Transcript
[Chris stares blankly at the desk while fidgeting] Hello ladies and gentlemen on the Internet and my Sonichu and Rosechu fanbase, this is Christine Chandler coming to you live from the room once again, and I'm about to tell ya a story that is direct and true... 'bout what happened recently. And it'll be demonstrated through... the minifigures.
So, that's to tell you the truth. So, my associate has introduced me to a lesbian couple who's looking to have their own little daughters... their little daughters, mkay? And they- and I was delighted to be made to be designated as a parent. But unfortunately throughout the few weeks, the initial few weeks there were miscommunications and we ca- an- and it was kinda spotty catchin' up with one another and one of them wanted to be artificially but the other one wanted natural. But, tonight, uh, earlier tonight, they mutually settled on both being natural, so we were plannin' on settin' up... because- uh, earlier in that day, they were- they were thinking about a second candidate though, so that left me feeling sad. But he didn't show up, and they liked the video that I sent them demonstrating my sexual prowess. I am quite... the acrobat. But she- that made me feel delighted.
So yeah, we were on the online chatroom, we were settin' up. We were talkin' about our meetin', and then comes along, dur- bit- dur- new guy. He were be- were quite intrusive... it was very rude.
Chris as Johan: [Rabid dog vocalizations]
Chris: [sarcastically] Yeah, I'm Christine Chandler... charmed I'm sure... charmed.
Chris as Johan: [dog grunts] yer tha big gu- yer da big guy, er da tryna ee [gorilla noises] insults blah blah blah blah blah blah bla bla bluh [grunts]
[Chris returns to talking about the events] Yeah, an I can tell from my way aside from... the obvious that what he's said among which, yeah... you're a bad guy, you bullied me. Anyway- so anyway, we were... so he was attacking me and trying to prove himself mighty and courageous like Captain Copernicus Quark or somebody dumb like that.
Chris as Johan: Huurhrh herr look at me, I'm superior [grunting becomes high pitched, Johan figure simulates humping] woop woop woop woop woop woop!
[accounting events once more] Aaanyway, it was just a whole bunch like that but, they were gettin' tired of it and I was gettin tired a hearin' abou- hearin' it. and then he realized,
Chris as Johan: Oh wait, you're d-... da Christian Chandler?
Chris: The original creator of Sonichu and Rosechu, that's me.
Chris as Johan: Er, well I got dirt on you. [overexaggerated stuttering] You haven't leaned about this bad thing ya did.
Chris: Oh, what? [pauses to pose minifig] you mean that time I sat bare-ass on a cake?... sat bare ass on a cake? What do ya think about that?
Chris as Johan: Err? That threw me off I was not expecting that [masculine mumbling]
Chris: Oh, and how about the time I... took pieces of my- pieces of my medallion and shoved up my behind. I am human enough to admit and take the blame for the mistakes I made.
Chris as Johan: [filthy male impersonation]
[narrating the events once more] And he was bringing up the image, the picture... of the n- notorious M.E.G. and me where I do the thumbs up there... and I was like,
Chris: Oh yeah, that vi- that vintage old thing. Vintage, so old. I've drawn more since then. And my e- other exes, I mentioned two of them by name.
And he was like:
Chris as Johan: What? [inane sounds]
And on just a note, we are talking gibberish with this guy 'cause we don't remember exactly everything that was said... but anyway, aside from that to try to prove himself to be the... more better male he attacked me verbally, with an onslaughts of insults and whatnot, like fireballs. And I defended my- and... I held my ground. [pauses to fiddle with his toys] I hold my ground, I, took two attacks. *pew pew* one attack at a time. *pew pew* I defended myself with the shield. *pew pew pew... pew... pew pew* And not stooping down to his level how he was phrasing his attacks... I offered my own, style and elegant... repertoire of... offence. *pew pew pew* Hit him a bit hard too. Again, some of them did not hit as hard. What? Not every attack is perfect. So, anyway then he was like,
Chris as Johan: Well then, I issue a challenge... you say yo- you say, from your video, you're like an acrobat, but I can do so much better sexually so, we each upload a video... And the person- and the person that gets more votes from the community on the internet wins.
And I was like,
Chris: what? you're not gonna let the girl- you're not gonna... let our ladyfriends have the say in the matter?
Chris as Johan: Yeah, well, you know what? I'm gonna [complete vocal diarrhea]
[Commentating on the interaction] [sigh] And a- anyway in the meanwhile they were tired of listening to all this and I was tired of listening to all this.
Chris as Johan: [the sounds of Hell itself]
Chris: [coughs and clears his throat] So anyway, point is, uhmm [sigh] even though this challenge seemed quite pointless and unnecessary and time consuming I... teh... I, well let's do it, I accept your challenge.
Chris as Johan: Finally, I'm gonna upload my video and I'm gonna outlast you. Bruh bah bra buh.
[Having finished his roleplay, Chris tells more of the story] And fortunately I had already do- uh- made a video for la- for the lesbian couple, which pr- which demonstrated quite well my, acrobatic, sexual prowess, thats goes yet to be unappreciated especially since I was self-taught.... but anyway then so... talkintoma- so anyway, so we all left the chatroom and, yadda yadda yadda. I talked to my associate and a little birdie told em, a little birdie came in and, told me about- ooh- dark past about Mr. Johan. That's his name, Johanson, but as like to call 'em Johan. Hey everybody! look. it's Johan from the Smurfs. Hey! where's Peewee, Johan? Go ahead and make all the Smurf jokes you want! He laid so many s- he said he was a Smurftastic lay, or, satisfy thirty women! He laid so many Smurfs, I wonder how many of them little smurfs he laid actually like this guy... and now everybody else! along with me or in your own words! make up your own Smurftastic jokes about Johan! Even the more obvious one that yall be making up in a moment when I tell you when ya hear that this little birdie told me *cheep cheep cheep* little birdie tell me the dirt! Okay, Here's the dirt.
This guy, was... an ex... GAY PORNSTAR! Yep, laid with another male. [blubbery sex noises]
And, guess what? [confused ogre noise] aaanother big thing that's gonna take this g- is gonna take this... big- is gonna take this guy down a notch, guess what? He got FIRED from one of his... things. He got fired from one of his movies and you know why he got fired? Why? He failed the STD test!... and apparently in order to be fired from any porn act that STD had to be something lethal.
Possibly lethal as say, something like AAAAIIIIDSSS!?!
And yet, among the discussion that was talked about earlier... he said that he had no STDs... but the way he acted and behaved and all that... apparently he told filfey lies! Filthy lies! He lied!
So, with that, we'll leave it at that. Everybody in the audience: yes'm high functioning autistic. But you know what? Even a normal person, normal father, normal mother, whichever, can give birth to an autisti- an autistic child. And it's just about as much risk as me because I'm high functioning autistic, high functioning. so therefore, hi- there's a higher- probability of a child being normal, so there.
So, if your votes on... rather or not who has the better sexual style and activity, ability. Johan, by the way, did you do one of my- PEEWEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... heh, Smur- Smurftastic. Anyway: this guy, or, me! And they have praised me as acrobatic! Truthfully so, thank you very much it was the hi- it made my night. Hear that. There will be a voting page coming up soon, and my video on this channel and his video on his channel. There will be links in the voting page.
So, that'll pretty much do it for now. Details coming soon. Thank you. Goodnight. [babbling]
See Also
 Lady Managers Saga
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| ⇐ UNCHARTED - There, I made it out alive... | Chris's videos | CWC vs Johan vote link ⇒ |