Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor

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With the infinitely high Boyfriend-Factor, I am not fond of about 99.999999999996% of the total male population, with a margin-of-error of the 4 billionth of a percent (for about 100 men) of whom are okay acquaintences. Those doofs get all the luck, having a Sweetheart to care for and to be cared from, getting all the hugs, kisses and e motional support and the security of a solid future without lonliness and with love and children.
Chris, demonstrating his mathematical prowess[1]
Get used to it, Chris.

The Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor is Chris's primary concern on his Love Quest. It refers to the incredibly high probability that any given girl he speaks to will already have a boyfriend, making it impossible for him to find a sweetheart. The fear of this factor leaves Chris all-but paralyzed when he even thinks about speaking to a woman in real life, a fear he has named noviophobia.

Mathematicians have worked in vain for years to disprove Chris's theorem, but the proof is in the pudding. Chris is still single, so it must be because all the JERKS have taken all the pretty girls. This realization led him to narrow his search and focus on boyfriend-free girls.

If one uses the recently passed number of 7 billion people, and assuming that half are men, applying the Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor means that there are 3,500,000,000 * 0.000000000004 = 0.014 males in the world that Chris doesn't hate.

Uses by Chris

  • Chris appears to have coined the term in Sonichu's News Dash!. It shows up in a couple of the middle issues of the newsletter, during one of his self-pitying advertisements for his Love Quest and in his collection of dating tips.
  • In Chris's letter to Nintendo Power concerning Sprung, he says the game helped him forget his "fear of the infinitely high boyfriend factor."
  • In an e-mail to Megan about his angry freak-out at the GAMe PLACe (inspired by Megan kissing a friend of hers), Chris blames the Boyfriend Factor for his insane hatred of other men.
  • Chris mentioned it in Chris Chan's Public Announcement, his first YouTube address, when talking about the early days of his sweetheart search.
  • In Vivitheg's AIM chat, Chris says his Sweetheart Search "started with the realization of the infinitely-high boyfriend factor."
  • A series of white knight e-mails from September 2008 includes repeated complaints about the Boyfriend Factor.
  • In an IRC chat with his fans in December 2008, Chris listed the Boyfriend Factor among many impediments to his quest for a girlfriend.
  • Comic Chris whines about the Boyfriend Factor when he's battling the B-Manajerk in Sub-Episode 4.
  • Chris's cartoon version of Robert Simmons V mentions the Boyfriend Factor in his interview on KCWC in Sonichu #7.


See also

The CWC-tionary

Relationships: Attraction Location | Boyfriend-free girl | Darling | Dating education | Friend Zone | Gal-pal | Heart Level | Homos | Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor | Love Quest | Noviophobia | SLGBTQ | Sweetheart | Sweetheart from the Ground-Up

Sex: China | Comeuppance | Duck | JULAY | Mass debating | Negligent | Pedofork | Pickle | Recycling | Soul Bonding | Virgin with rage | Virginia is for Virgins | Women's rights

Himself: Biological clock | Butt garments | Captain's Log | Christian Love Day | DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS | Fuzzy-Wuzzies & Prickly-Wicklies | Honest Content | I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD | Monthly tugboat | Muscle bra | Random-access humor | Saga | Scale of Respect | Tomgirl |

Stressors: 4-cent_garbage | GOPony | HEXBox | JERKS | Jerkops | Kick the Autistic | Manajerks | Naïve | Niggos | Pmurt | Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens | Slow-in-the-minds | Tobacky

Fantasies: Curse-ye-ha-me-ha | Dimension | Fangs | Godjesus | Iron Curtain | OC | Un-clit

Comics: Anchuent Prophecy | Da Update | Electric Hedgehog Pokemon | Nombie-zazis| Parody | Rosechu | Sonichu | Sub-Episodes | Sweetbolt

See also: Chris and English | List of phrases Chris copied from media