CChanSonichuCWC Videos, June-July 2009

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The following videos were uploaded by Liquid Chris during June and July 2009.

Antebellum Messages

The following videos were made before Solid Chris discovered and denounced Liquid Chris, and are mostly topical parodies of Solid's videos from the same timeframe.

CWC: I Have Returned To Youtube!!

CWC: I Have Returned To Youtube!!
Stardate 21 June 2009
Subject Matter GalpalsGalpalsGalpal
Performance Style ReasonReasonReason
Shirt Brownstripeshirt.png Brown
Other Liquid's first video after his "return" to YouTube.
Liquid Chris' videos
previous
n/a
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New Christian Weston Chandler Video featuring the Hit Song "So Need a Cute Girl" by CWC

VIDEO DESCRIPTION:

I am Christian Weston Chandler, creator of Sonichu and Rosechu. This is my First Video in a Long Time and it is because I was Uploading more videos to Youtube recently, but due to their HONEST CONTENT they were DELETED before any of my fans could SEE THEM!
Transcript
[Liquid Chris pulls back from adjusting the camera, and clasps his hands together. The paper Sonichu medallion hangs from a chain around his neck. He lets out a long, satisfied-sounding sigh before beginning to speak.]

Captain's Log; June 21st, 2009. [sigh] My name is Christian Weston Chandler. Aaaand y'all, y'already know me of the cre-, as the creator of the Sonichu franchise and comics...and uh...the r-, uh...the Rosechu...comic...uh...as well. [sighs] Hmmm.

Uhhh...I know I haven't, uh, been make the videos for uh...for YouTube...uh...inna long time. Uhh, but that's because I've been, that's because I've been busy with my uh... [He gesticulates, causing the camera to shake] my sweetheart search! Uhh, searchin' for my sweetheart...on da internet...and such things. Uh...things like those!

[He pushes his glasses further up the bridge of his nose.]

Uuhhmm...I did, however...find a nice, pretty girl who I hope to make...my future gal-pal...Uh, she is [he gestures with his hands again, making the camera shake] caring and true an' honest...an' I do think she is non-smoking...uh, non-alcohol...white...girl. From California. And I am going to make her into a Sweetheart From The Ground-Up. [Pushes his glasses back up again.] And for you homos over there [his tone becomes sharper, and annoyed] out there...th-, tha' means, that means starting with her friendship! [sigh] I, I have a uh...a picture...uh, here on, onna computer...if y'all, if y'all wou-, if y'all wooould, if y'all would like to see something like that.

[He reaches to grab the camera and there is a jump cut. The camera is now pointed at the computer screen with Firefox open and a picture of Hayden Panettierre on the screen. The camera waves around erratically for a moment before being held steadily in front of the screen.]

Uh, this is she. My, uh, my future sweetheart. Aaand future...da, future mother to...my lo-, my loving daughter...ah...Cry-, Crystal Weston Chandler, named after the illus-, illustrious metal.

[Jump cut. Liquid is sat back in his chair. He fiddles with the paper medallion, then relaxes.]

Her name is uh...Hayden...[stammers] Pan... [stammers more. Another jump cut.] Her name is Hayden Paneti-, Hayden Panatier. [sighs] And for you sw-, for you sla-, for you slanderous trolls watching this...know...I don't c-, I don't claim to have contact with her, with her yet. YET! I will be, I will be sending her lots of uh, lots of letters to her address at uh...William Morris A-, William Morris Agency. At William Morris Place in Beverly Hills, California in 90212 in the United States.

[sighs, then huffs and sort of shrugs, making the camera shake.] I'm just so angry! [Makes an 'angry' face and holds up the Claw of Fail.] Nnngraghh! [sighs] You want me to calm down? [Getting angry] You want me to CALM DOWN?! [Prepares to tard rage then calms down and pushes his glasses up his nose. ] One of the trolls an' the...people who don't believe in me, that I can't do it, I will do it! And fug-, for those of you laughing your, laughing off your heads, you will have to screw them on STRAIGHT!

I'm STRAIGHT! I'm STRAIGHT -- believe me!

Goodbye! [makes peace sign] Peace!

New Christian Weston Chandler Video featuring the Hit Song "So Need a Cute Girl" by CWC

New Christian Weston Chandler Video featuring the Hit Song "So Need a Cute Girl" by CWC
Stardate 30 June 2009
Subject Matter MusicMusicMusic
Performance Style RageRageAngry CrazyCrazyCrazy
Shirt Brownstripeshirt.png Brown
Other Dedicated to Spazkid
Liquid Chris' videos
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CWC: I Have Returned To Youtube!!
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Update: I am Still the Real Christian Weston Chandler Despite LIES AND SLANDER. Also, Some Fan Art

VIDEO DESCRIPTION:

Hello to all the Sonichu Loyal Fans out there, waitng on Poor Ol' Me to make a video for y'all. Here's da update and NO I will NOT COMMENT ANYMORE on the Clyde Controversy. Stay Safe, and Straight.

PS: No updates on my Future Sweetheart Hayden Panettiere, yet, so do'nt ask. Peace

Transcript
[Chris is sitting, wearing his brown shirt and a stupid paper Sonichu medallion.]

Hello my loyal Sonichu fanbase, who has not betrayed me, like so many other of you. Uh, hmm...I wish to dedicate this video, I wish to dedicate this video to a rather unexpected person. Uh, y’all may have heard of him, he was the troll that made the Sonichu animated series, the Sonichu animated series that defamed and added more fuel to the fire of my already burning down reputation. Hmm. Hey, and you know what else, though, to, I will give him to his credit, he is a very great animator, and he has agreed to make me personally a, a video of Rosechu and her fellow Rosechus, like Bubbles, Angelica, Sylvania, and others, looking pretty in anime form, like in the, look-, look-, looking in their true form. And I assume this means NO PICKLES on Rosechu. She does not have a pickle, and I assume this means that she will not be drawn as such. So uh, hm, I wish to uh, sing a song that I wrote when I was uh, wrote when I was 22 years old, 22 years of age, and do a live performance for y’all. A live performance uh, hm, uh, right here.

[Jump cut to Chris standing and playing an acoustic guitar. The music and vocals are dubbed, and he lipsyncs through the performance. The music is performed by brother SimplySpoons, with background harmonies done by Chris. Chris's brown shirt is stuffed.]

Without a fire, but a desire

To not hear you say, “I have a boyfriend.”

And I see the ladies

Walking alone one by one

And I never wanna hear, “I have a boyfriend.”

Tell me why, I’m still stuck as a virgin with rage?

Tell me why, I so need a cute girl my age?

Tell me why, I never wanna hear you say, “I have a boyfriend.”

And I have no fire,

But a desire, to not hear you say, “I have a boyfriend.”

Tell me why, I’m still stuck as a virgin with rage?

Tell me why, I so need a cute girl my age?

Tell me why, I never wanna hear you say, “I have a boyfriend.”

Why do all of the jerks get all of the pretty girls?

Yeah, you may not know this, but I want you to know,

That I am a lonesome heart.

Without a fire, but a desire, to not, to not hear,

Don’t wanna hear you say,

I’m a virgin with rage.

So need a cute girl my age.

Don’t never wanna hear you say,

“I have a boyfriend.”

[chorus repeats]

[spoken:] Never say it now.

[Video cuts back to Chris sitting.]

(sigh) I hope, I hope y’all enjoyed that. Hm. And spazkid, I can only hope that you make that video honest and true. Peace.

Update: I am Still the Real Christian Weston Chandler Despite LIES AND SLANDER. Also, Some Fan Art

Update: I am Still the Real Christian Weston Chandler Despite LIES AND SLANDER. Also, Some Fan Art
Stardate 3 July 2009
Subject Matter TrollsTrolls Trolls Fan ArtFan Art Fan Art
Performance Style RageRage Rage ReasonReason Reason
Shirt Brown StripedBrownstripeshirt.png Striped Brown
Other First video, where he denounces the troll pretending to be him.
Liquid Chris' videos
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New Christian Weston Chandler Video featuring the Hit Song "So Need a Cute Girl" by CWC
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Christian Chandler (CWC) Presents: A Music Remix from my New Gal-Pal

VIDEO DESCRIPTION:

Hey y'all, do not pay any attention to those DENOUNCED fakeries on My Former Account. They are patently false, and I still am looking for a Boyfriend-free Gal Pal. Also, I have Some Fan Art to show y'all that I have gotten over the last few days from the Loyal Base.
Transcript
[As in the last video, Chris is seated wearing his paper medallion.]

Bottoms up! [drinks from wine glass] Ah! [whips glasses from face and immediately replaces them]

Just a uh, just a quick update here. Just a little uh…it’s, it’s come to my attention that a troll claiming to be me, the real Christian Weston Chandler, has posted fake, defamatory, and lying, and false videos on my former channel. I denounce these.

[pointless cut]

And the uh, blatant dishonest lies. Do not uh, believe what the trolls are saying about, in those videos. Uh, every, every word, every crook, is patently false. Like I said in the comics, I am the true and honest mayor of CWCville. Y’all know that. I have just been dealing with so much stress, so much anger, of not havin’ a sweetheart. Like I said in the comics, I am still contemplating on renouncing and giving up my post as mayor. Hmmmmm.

And anudder thing, you can tell me from, uh, the real me from the trolls on CChanSonichu, which was taken over by hacking trolls, you can tell me by, uh, by my fans know, they know who I am. To expand upon this point, I’ve been receiving fanart fro-, to my true and honest address. How else would I get fanart if I was not the original creator of Sonichu? So here is some of the fanart I will, I will show you.

[Jump cut. We are looking at a Nintendo Magazine and a Poké Ball on a table.]

OK, so I guess we could start off with uh, with this one.

[Black and white illustration placed in view.]

Here. Uh, this one, this one was probably my favorite, uh, fanart. Uh, it shows me, uh, Christian Chandler, in a fi-, in my fighting stance. I am strong, so I like how this one notices that. And uh, it uh, puts it in the, in the perspective there. Um. Hm.

[A color illustration is placed on the table. Some of the lettering is Cyrillic.]

This one uh, I don’t, I don’t really know uh, what it is. Uh, it says, Son-, I know Sonichu says, “Comrades! Defeat the impee-ist army of Mary Lee Walsh.” But even though I was on the honor roll, uh, at school, at high school, I really don’t remember much uh, about my history classes.

[Jump cut. Another drawing.]

This one uh, it looks like a uh, pal from one of my comics! It looks like uh, I think, I think por-, uh, portrays pretty accurately. It got me sayin’, “Hey guys! What’s da update!” You know, it says, it says it right dere. [Camera moves in to the speech bubble.] So uh, we’re, we’re done with that one. Mm.

[New drawing, with the words “GALACTUS RETURNS” at the top. We soon see it’s a parody of the Drinking Straw of Fail.]

This uh, this one, now this one I don’t really know what it is. Uh, I mean, uh it says, “Galactus Returns?” And it has a planet in it bein’, bein’ sucked up by something. I don’t really know what that is. So, hmm. Um, OK.

[New drawing.]

This uh, this next one here, uh, this one was made by, by a sweet little boy, uh, named Jimmy, who reads the comics, and has sent me a picture of Sonichu and Rosechu enjoying their love. And it’s very sad to have it remind me, uh, wha, that I do, don’t have a boyfriend-free girl to make into a sweetheart. But uh, I am, I am working on it with Hayden. So, hm.

[New black and white drawing, of Chris holding a small cup with the “Recycling” symbol in a speech bubble.]

Uh, this last one, uh, I have a, I have a feeling it was sent in uh, by a troll, and I don’t really know what to think about this one. Um, if you have, if you have a problem with it, don’t do it. It’s uh, it’s that simple, I think. OK, so, that’s what I wanted to go over today. And y’all have a pleasant, pleasant day today. Stay safe.

Christian Chandler (CWC) Presents: A Music Remix from my New Gal-Pal

Christian Chandler (CWC) Presents: A Music Remix from my New Gal-Pal
Stardate 5 July 2009
Subject Matter TrollsTrollsTrolls MusicMusicMusic
Other Musical number / remix of a video made by the troll
Liquid Chris' videos
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Update: I am Still the Real Christian Weston Chandler Despite LIES AND SLANDER. Also, Some Fan Art
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ECV 00120 Christian Weston Chandler Threatens A TROLL, TO BACK OFF!!

VIDEO DESCRIPTION:

Hello, all, I have been Correponding with a New Friend and Gal-pal who has Asked me to put this on my Channel. Seeing as I have yet to Get One Ounce of Vagina, I must follow her Every Wish. Peace.

CWC

ECV 00120 Christian Weston Chandler Threatens A TROLL, TO BACK OFF!!

ECV 00120 Christian Weston Chandler Threatens A TROLL, TO BACK OFF!!
Stardate 11 July 2009
Subject Matter HomosHomosHomos ViolenceViolenceThreats
Performance Style RageRageRage CrazyCrazyCrazy
Shirt Brownstripeshirt.png Brown
Other Video is directed at Chris Crocker
Liquid Chris' videos
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Christian Chandler (CWC) Presents: A Music Remix from my New Gal-Pal
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Now Selling the OFFICIAL and ORIGINAL SONICHU Merchandise of CWC, NO FAKERIES OR IMPOSTORY

VIDEO DESCRIPTION:

This user has Harassed me for such that long time, please Hack His Account for REVENGE. CWC
Transcript

[We see a piece of paper with the words “itschriscrocker” scribbled on it.]

The following is addressed to this individual whose YouTube account is this only. The opinions and the uh, feelings and emotions expressed in this video are not the, are not representative towards any person or, udder, udder than this one. Thank you very much.

[Jump cut to Liquid, wearing a different medallion than in his previous videos.]

Hey! Um a mister, you, you have been ticking me off for that long time. Well, no more. I know where you live, and it is in San Francisco, California. You are a homo who lives in a hermaphrodite commune with your naïve gal-pals and uh, udder, even worse, your herm-, hermaphrodite friends, and I w-, I will, you will not know the extent of my vengeance when, when I get a detective on your case, because I am sick of the slanderous slander, and I, I chose to make you in LittleBigPlanet, and make you run laps until you get tired. And you will suffer the consequences.

I denounce you, you naïve retard. You naïve homo retarded bastard. You, you and your naïve, homo, retarded, retard bastard, ways. Uh, hmmmm. You are so despicable, that you, perhaps y-, you naïve, homo, retarded bastard. I bet you live a pitiful existence. And perhaps even videotaping your lewd acts, and living with nothing better to do than to you, just be pointless! You’re, you’re sitting at your computer, harassing people, online! How about you get a real job and stop growing overweight, even though your skinny arms show that you could be of average size. Someone like myself. I hope someday, the 4-cent garbage corporation finds you, and makes your life a living hell. So uh, that’s right, I am calling you out! [flashes peace sign] Peace.


The CWCivil War

Now Selling the OFFICIAL and ORIGINAL SONICHU Merchandise of CWC, NO FAKERIES OR IMPOSTORY

Now Selling the OFFICIAL and ORIGINAL SONICHU Merchandise of CWC, NO FAKERIES OR IMPOSTORY
Stardate 21 July 2009
Subject Matter ComicsComicsComics and Merchendise
Performance Style ReasonReasonReason
Shirt Brownstripeshirt.png Brown
Liquid Chris' videos
previous
ECV 00120 Christian Weston Chandler Threatens A TROLL, TO BACK OFF!!
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Now Introducing Christian Weston Chandler's CWCville Outlet Shopping and Deluxe Department Bureau

VIDEO DESCRIPTION:

Hello, Loyal Sonichu Fanbase, I went to Otackon Last Weekend and Made A Lot of MONEY off of my Official Stuff. I will set a Website up soon with Buying Information.
Transcript

[Chris is seated as usual.]

Greetings, to my fans on YouTube! I am sorrowfully sorry that I haven’t posted a video for a while. But uh, I have been very busy making, or, making, [flashes wad of cash] rollin’ in the dollar bills! Uh, I tell you what, and, over this uh, past weekend uh, I went to Otakon, which, if y’all, if y’all don’t know what that, if y’all don’t know that uh, the Ota- [pointless cut] convention, for some anime and video games and uh, Japanese mm, yeah. So, anyway, I took my original and official Sonichu merch and, merch-, merchandise uh, o’er dere, and what it was, it was uh, replica medallions [moves his own paper medallion closer to the camera and grins] uh, and uh, my, my, my comics, and uh, I even baked some myself, some uh,chocky-chip cookies, in the shape of Sonichu’s head! So uh, actually uh, sold all my merchandise by the afternoon time, and uh, made uh [flashes cash again] lots of money! Uh, here it is dere.

So uh, but I’m going to uh, spend it on my church congregation and buy my pastor Elizabeth a uh, a copy of LittleBigPlanet. I, I uh, I hope she has a PS3. [grins autistically] Now because I, I sold all my stuff, I can’t show you any of it, because uh, it’s not here, but uh, [holds up papers] I am uh, I am replenishing my uh, my stock. So, my official stock dere. So uh, if, if y’all want to buy straight from the source, I am uh, I will be working to set, to set up a original webpage to sell it on. So uh, be looking forward to that. Uh, to that uh, I tell you what. Anyway uh, hm, [flashes peace sign] peace! And have a good day.

Now Introducing Christian Weston Chandler's CWCville Outlet Shopping and Deluxe Department Bureau

Now Introducing Christian Weston Chandler's CWCville Outlet Shopping and Deluxe Department Bureau
Stardate 23 July 2009
Subject Matter ComicsComicsMerchendise WebsiteWebsiteOnline Store GalpalsGalpalsGalpal
Performance Style ReasonReasonReason
Shirt Brownstripeshirt.png Brown
Other This video marks the first appearance of Kacey.
Liquid Chris' videos
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Now Selling the OFFICIAL and ORIGINAL SONICHU Merchandise of CWC, NO FAKERIES OR IMPOSTORY
next
A Preview of a Surprise

VIDEO DESCRIPTION:

Hey y'all, don't Worry, the Site will be Up Soon. I am Auctioning a Special Mediallion here: *EBAY LINK* as it has been the TRUE and ORIGINAL medallion before, and it is For Sale For a Good Cause: Children with Cancer.

Stay True and do not LISTEN to IMPOSTORS. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

CWC

Transcript

[We are looking at a screen. The Nintendo Gamecube logo appears. Then the Nintendo logo.]

Chris [voice-over]: Nintendo!

[We see the introductory screen for Animal Crossing. A bear named Maple appears. Her words appear on the screen.]

Maple: Hello. So you’re all ready to go out on the town, honey? It’s 3:39 p.m. on July 23rd, 2009 in Slot A’s CWCville right now. Shall we get started?

Player: Yes!

Maple: By the way, what’s your name again?

Player: Sonichu

Maple: That’s right! Sonichu! Of course I remember. I could never forget you! All right, I need to get things ready for you. It will only take a second, so hang on. I’m preparing CWCville for you. Do not turn the power off or remove the Memory Card! Thank you for waiting. I hope you enjoy your time in CWCville.

[We are now in the Animal Crossing version of CWCville. A character is staring at items on a table.]

Chris [voice-over]: Hmm. Have you ever wanted to find something to buy, but when you did, when you forgot how, where, how you, but then you uh, well, fear no more, loyal Sonichu fans! ‘Cause here at the CWCville Outlet and Deluxe Department Bureau, we have so much official Sonichu merchandise that you will just freak out, and have to buy a lot of it. And so come, come on down here so might, so I can uh, don’t have to come right over to you there. Eh. This message brought you, to you by Christian Chandler, Sonichu Productions.

[Jump cut to Chris in the flesh, standing in his room.]

Hey y’all. Hm. Just thought I’d uh, give y’all a little update ‘bout how I’m doing with the sales and, and whatnot, you know. And they, they have just been amazing, and [holds up pile of cash] look how much money I have made off of this. So uh, hm. Yeah, if uh, sales continue like they’ve been, I’ll, I’ll go out and buy my own pad. So uh, I will give you a little preview uh, about these uh, merchandise.

Uh, here we have, hm, [holds up cap] Sonichu hats! [Brings cap closer to the camera. Sonichu appears on the front.] Well for uh, for your every uncle, uh, aunt, uh [edit] -sin uh, or daughter. [edit] So uh, hm. [puts cap down]

And then uh, hm, these uh, these t-shirts [holds up rolled brown shirt] will uh, give a best present to anyone that uh, you or your parents knows. They are zappingly fashionable. [puts shirt down] Hm.

Um, I have some Sonichu bedsheets. [Holds up wrapped store-bought bedsheet with “CWC Sonichu” printed on the plastic.] Hm. And uh, and bedding. Don’t wet the bed! Or else Sonichu might zap ya! [puts sheet down]

Hm. Uh, this uh, this headband here [holds up yellow Sonichu headband, with copyright] will uh, it will hold up for all your Sonichu needs. [puts headband down] And then uh, uh, I have made a lot uh, of medallions for sale. [holds up pile of paper medallions] They have been my uh, number one selling item. Uh, and believe me, [holds up wad of cash again] money don’t lie!

Um, and finally, we have [holds up shitty Sonichu doll] these Sonichu plushies, Sonichu plush dolls. Hm. It uh, these Son-, these Sonichu plushies and stuffed animals will brighten up uh, brighten up anyone’s day, brighten up a day of a child, or anyone who is uh, young at heart. Notice the uh, the intricate design that they uh, that they have here. Yeah.

OK, so, I just wanted to uh, let y’all know uh, how great I’m doing, and uh…Oh! What’s this on my uh, my answering machine here?

[appears to press answering machine button]

Kacey [voice-over]: Oh, um, hi, uh, this is Kacey. Um, I know you don’t know me. [to people in background] Quiet! Yeah, I’m really calling him. [back to Chris] So um, anyway, I found your number, and um, I just wanted to call and say hey, ‘cause um, I think you’re kind of sweet, um, and I was just thinking, you know, ‘cause what the trolls are doing is really horrible. I know we don’t have many sweet guys around, so um, you know, maybe we could be friends, and I can help you with the tough times, and, ‘cause, you know, you look like you need a friend. And you make me laugh. You’re so funny. [giggles] Um, this is really embarrassing. I don’t usually do this for people online, but um, just call me back maybe, um, OK, if you want. Um, my number should be on your caller ID, and um, I guess, well, as you would say, peace and bye!

Chris [who has been starring at the camera looking extremely smug]: Well, well, I’ll just let y’all judge on that one for yourself. [flashes peace sign] Peace.


A Preview of a Surprise

A Preview of a Surprise
Stardate 24 July 2009
Subject Matter ComicsComicsComic
Shirt Brownstripeshirt.png Brown
Liquid Chris' videos
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Now Introducing Christian Weston Chandler's CWCville Outlet Shopping and Deluxe Department Bureau
next
Christian Weston Chandler's EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT of SONICHU and Addressing Things

VIDEO DESCRIPTION:

Hi y'all, TRY THIS ON FOR SIZE! Yes, it Is What You Think It Is.

Oh, and Look at this Patriotic Poster Dis'ing the TROLL. http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/2720/tgtdfw4.jpg

Stay True.

CWC

Transcript

[The video is silent throughout.]

[We are staring at a piece of paper taped to a wall. It says “PREVIEW” with a down arrow.]

[The camera follows the arrow, panning down to reveal a parody of the cover of “Sonichu 0.” At the top it reads, “SONICHU – THE NEW SEASON!!!” In the left-hand corner, Sonichu is winking and saying, “The world’s most way-past-cool comic!” In the center of the drawing, the brown-striped impostor is posed to throw a Poké Ball. He says, “Go, Sonichu and zap to the extreme!” But Sonichu just says, “I am stuck.” A reasonable forgery of Christian W. Chandler’s signature appears at the bottom of the illustration.]

[The camera pans over to reveal the face of a smug Liquid, who barely has time to grin before the video ends.]


Christian Weston Chandler's EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT of SONICHU and Addressing Things

Christian Weston Chandler's EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT of SONICHU and Addressing Things
Stardate 26 July 2009
Subject Matter ComicsComicsVideo gamesVideo gamesSonichu Video Game GalpalsGalpalsKacey TrollsTrollsIan Brandon Anderson
Performance Style ComedyComedyExcited, Happy
Shirt Brownstripeshirt.png Brown
Liquid Chris' videos
previous
A Preview of a Surprise
next
NOT Forced to Say this at All...

VIDEO DESCRIPTION:

Hello, again, Loyal Fans,

It is I again, Christian Weston Chandler. NOT Christopher Christian Weston Chandler as EVERYONE KNOWS I Changed my name FROM Christopher to Christian (PS: That Troll, as Some have now Informed Me, his Real Name is IAN BRANDON ANDERSON). Anyway, I am Working Very Hard on Sonichu 9 and Things may be Progressing Heavily with my new TRUE Gal-Pal Kacey and I. Also, Expect more Announcements of this Developing Caliber in the Future.

Stay True.

CWC

Transcript

[Chris is sitting in his room]

[voice-over]: Captain’s Log, Stardate, July 26th 2009.

[Chris speaks] Hello my loyal fanbase. I have some exciting news to be announced. I just recently heard from an independent game company who wishes to pick up my Sonichu character and make it into a video game! This is going to be the uh, true and honest Sonichu game. It is in the works, and I signed on a very tasty contract with them for a large sum of money, which I do not feed overly comfortable discussing right now, because this uh, large amounts of money may uh, influence how the women see me as a person, and prevent me from finding my true sweetheart. Hmm. But uh, I did find this on my answering machine uh, when I got up, when I got up, when I got up in the morning, this morning.

[pretends to press answering machine button]

Kacey [voice-over]: Um, hi, it’s Kacey again. Um, thanks for returning my phone call. I’m really sorry I missed yours. Um, so yeah, I was a little apprehensive about calling someone who I’ve never talked to from online, but you know, I thought you might be different, and I’m really glad that I was right. So yeah, I would love to talk again. Um, I’m out of class for the rest of the day, so just give me a call back, I’ll be around. So, I can’t wait to talk to you. Peace!

[Liquid is ecstatic.]

Hmmm. That’s uh, you know what, I am very excited today, because of my lifelong dream is finally coming true. [sounding like Kermit] Hooray! The uh, game company has told me uh, that as of uh, right now, the uh, they want me to uh, not give, give away too much uh, info, and they had me sign a uh, a NDA, which is a uh, as they put it uh, a non-disclosure agreement. However, they uh, did ag-, they did agree to allow me to tell you the title of the game and what system it’s uh, comin’ out for. [brings up big envelope and pulls out papers] Yeah. Uh, it says, it says here that uh, they are very pleased to pick up my series and will be showing it off at the uh, Austin GDC, Game Developers’ Conference, in September! [points into camera] Yeah, so uh, just want y’all to know that it’s comin’ along well for me, despite all those slanderous trolls and impostors. My dreams are finally coming true. Look for “Sonichu: The Crystal Chronicles” in a store near you ex-, exclusively for the X-Box 360. While I do not personally own a X-Box 360 yet, they have promised me to give me one for free, and uh, have assured me that it is not as bad as I thought in the past. Hm.

Oh, uh, to that overweight troll who keeps trying so hard to impersonate me, please understand, I am a high-functioning autistic male, and please stop interfering with the sale, with the sales of my Sonichu franchise. It is my main source of income, and my parents need to be supported on it. Uh, don’t, don’t be so naïve to think that I don’t know what you’re up to.

Well, I hope y’all are uh, having as good of a week as I have. To my true supporters, thank you, and peace.

[jump cut]

And, to the rest of your, you slanderous trolls, [holds foot up to camera] kiss my game-making foot!


NOT Forced to Say this at All...

NOT Forced to Say this at All...
Stardate 27 July 2009
Subject Matter TrollsTrollsTrolls HomosHomosHomos
Performance Style TragedyTragedyStress
Shirt Brownstripeshirt.png Brown
Liquid Chris' videos
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Christian Weston Chandler's EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT of SONICHU and Addressing Things
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That Slanderous Clyde Cash is Harassing me Again

VIDEO DESCRIPTION:

Yes, I am NOT Leaveing Clues in the Video as to what is REALLY Going on. Yes, that is Something I am CERTAINLY NOT Doing.

CWC

Transcript

[Liquid looks uncomfortable for some reason. He is clutching some sort of red stuffed doll.]

You know, as the uh, original and true Christian Weston Chandler, I get trolled a lot. You know, uh, I’ve been trolled. You know, they uh, they just uh, make me do things that uh, yeah. Oh, uh, regardless of, regardless of all that, uh, you know the uh, word…gay…is thrown a-, thrown around a lot. You know. And maybe in a inappropriate way. So uh, I’m just here to tell ya that uh, I have a lot of uh, respect for the uh, those of the uh, other, or uh, same, I should say, persuasion. [retarded voice] I’m gaaaay. I’m a gaaaay…bian.


That Slanderous Clyde Cash is Harassing me Again

That Slanderous Clyde Cash is Harassing me Again
Stardate 27 July 2009
Subject Matter TrollsTrollsClyde Cash
Performance Style SmugSmugSmug
Shirt Brownstripeshirt.png Brown
Liquid Chris' videos
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NOT Forced to Say this at All...
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More Than A Feeling THE TRUE VERSION by Christian Weston Chandler (CWC)

VIDEO DESCRIPTION:

You Want Proof? Listen to This. http://www.mediafire.com/?llrlpmmemfz

It's that CLYDE CASH Again, the Very Same who has Been Trolling Me my entire Adult Life

Transcript

Hello. Some of you may see, may have seen the uh, um, the uh, video that was posted last night, saying that I was of the uh, wrong orientation. That video was done by me in order to protect my mudder’s retirement accounts and her credit card accounts. You wanna know who’s doin’ it? I’ll tell, well I’ll tell ya who’s doin’ it. I’ll have the uh, the link in the sidebar dere. ‘Cause dere, dere’s proof that it was the slanderous Clyde Cash, who has been trolling me for the, that long time. Mr. Clyde—we will not be crashed into slumber by your heinous a-, antics and whatnot. To my loyal fans, peace. And have a good day.

The Phone Call with Clyde

Clyde Cash blackmails Liquid Chris
Stardate 27 July 2009
Subject Matter Liquid must announce that he's gay, or his mother's retirement fund will be all gone.
Featuring Liquid, Clyde Cash
Saga LiquidLiquidLiquid Saga
Audio Recordings
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n/a
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n/a


More Than A Feeling THE TRUE VERSION by Christian Weston Chandler (CWC)

More Than A Feeling THE TRUE VERSION by Christian Weston Chandler (CWC)
Stardate 29 July 2009
Subject Matter MusicMusicMusic
Shirt Brownstripeshirt.png Brown
Liquid Chris' videos
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That Slanderous Clyde Cash is Harassing me Again
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Christian Weston Chandler (Ricardo) Hablar con el Impostor, And MANY OTHER NOTIFICATIONS!

VIDEO DESCRIPTION:

The IMPOSTOR Ian Brandon Anderson (Possibly Clyde Cash) sent me THIS:

"You are NOT GOING TO REPLY, Much less COME AND FACE ME!

If You Can Not even TAKE THE TIME TO ACCEPT MY CHALLENGE, then I'm just going to have to REPORT YOUR SORRY ASS TO MY DETECTIVE; HE WILL BE ON YOUR SORRY ONE FASTER than a Sonic-Boom. Nice Doll.


Christian Weston Chandler

14 Branchland Ct.

Ruckersville, Virginia 22968

434-990-0198


CALL MY HOUSE, LEAVE YOUR NUMBER, AND TALK TO ME LIKE A MAN! If you remain a Cowardly Weakling, You will just have to RETURN To the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens. What "class" there was it you enrolled in again? Major In DUUUHHHHHH!!!?"

HE DIDN'T EVEN SIGN IT AT THE END. What a TROLL.

Also, Shout-Out to my Sweet Peach, Kacey, I will Post her Account Later.

CWC

Transcript

[Liquid makes the Claw of Fail, then clenches it into a fist and plays the song flawlessly on a TRUE and HONEST guitar]

[angrily] Take that, impostor!

Christian Weston Chandler (Ricardo) Hablar con el Impostor, And MANY OTHER NOTIFICATIONS!

Christian Weston Chandler (Ricardo) Hablar con el Impostor, And MANY OTHER NOTIFICATIONS!
Stardate 31 July 2009
Subject Matter GalpalsGalpalsKacey AutismAutismAutism TrollsTrollsClyde Cash ComicsComicsVideo gamesVideo gamesSonichu Video Game
Performance Style ComedyComedyRandom Access Humor RageRageAngry ReasonReasonReason SmugSmugSmug
Shirt Brownstripeshirt.png Brown
Liquid Chris' videos
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More Than A Feeling THE TRUE VERSION by Christian Weston Chandler (CWC)
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C.W.C. SingStar Challenge #1: You're Pitiful Weird Al Yankovic

VIDEO DESCRIPTION:

Bonjour, Loyal Amigos. (Random-Access Humor Joke!)

I am Successful as Ever and no TROLLS and their Cohorts will OVERTAKE Me. He is TROLLIN' STUPID. Also, MidnightKissable (Kacey, my Heartsweet) I LOVE YOU!

Clyde Cash is a Good Man.

Stay True, and Peace! And Love.

CWC

Transcript

¡Hola! Este es el verdadero Ricardo Weston Chandler. Impostor en el pequeño chaleco, yo no solo comprender su ultimo video, pero tiene excelente dominio de la idioma de Cervantes. Puedo establecer mi identidad hablan muchos idiomas.

Je parle aussi Français comme je l'ai pris dans le français des mes années lycées à Manchester. Avec ma jolie professeure de français. J'ai obtenu ma [sic] diplôme avec mention. J'ai même un certificat à partir du moment où j'ai été l'assistant-responsable de l'équipe of PVCC.

Auch hab ich zu lernen[?] von Deutschen und bin in der Lage, zu sprechen fließend Deutsch. Nicht zu erwarten, aber il- ich sind[?] ein Zertifikat in CADD. Hmm.

うそなんじゃフォトはせっかく工夫は済めば. まぁ、そうには正しいクリスならばと読める彼だが、彼の問題は全てこれらの言語で応答する必要がありますぅ![Usonanja foto wa sekkaku kufuu wa sumeba. [?] Ma, souni wa tadashii Chris naraba to yomeru kare daga. Kano mondai wa subete korera no gengo de outou suru hitsuyou ga arimasu~!] Hmm. Um, hmm...

I wish to go over a number of things, but uh, first I'd like to tell you [dramatic glasses removal, and replaces glasses], I love my sweet Kacey! My sweetheart Kacey and I are going to be together forever! And I love her with my heart! And we met because of...Sonichu! She will be my caring girl and I will never leave her. We have already gone out on our FIRST DATE. FIRST DATE! Hmm...

Now, uh, on to more important things. I wish to, uh, as a high-functioning autistic male, uh, to explain autism, briefly to y'all. [jump cut]

Now a, uh, public service announcement, if you will. Autism is a mental block where uh, it's hard to do things and even the slightest of things that you don't want to do will uh, give you stress. When you are uh, stressed as an autistic, it's just easy to fall asleep. And Asperger's Sydrome is, does something to this very similar to autism. People with Asperger's take things very literally, which sometimes is another mental block to understanding others, or the ladies. Hmm. Both the Asperger's and autism are start from a ear-, start from an early age, in which you are diagnosed and given documents proving it. My name is Christian Weston Chandler, and I swear on my Asperg-, I mean my autism, that uh, that these things must be, uh...remembered.

Oh uh, and another thing, uh, I have made my rectum with Clyde, I mean I have, I have rectified things with Clyde. He has uh, apologized for uh, taking money from my mother's retirements accounts, and I have apologi-, and has apologized for torturing me in the past. I thank you, Clyde, and uh, this could, this could be the start of a uh, beautiful friendship. I d-, I do not, I do not have to worry about him uh, you know, trolling me anymore...

And finally, uh, Sonichu: The Crystal Chronicles. Hmmm. The game is, uh, coming along so well that I have been able to print out the images that the uh, that the designer has sent me.

[shuffles through a bunch of papers showing the design process and character concepts. Notable standouts are the BILLY MAYS Library, Liquid himself, Mary Lee Walsh, and the Man in the Pickle Suit.]

Hmm, yeah, so uh, you know, I'm doin' pretty well right now, uh...I was able to buy my uh, my father Robert Chandler a uh, a new axe for his uh, woodworking hobby. And uh, I have, I have bought my, I have bought my uh, a uh, Pokémon Flutes for my uh, for my mo-, mother Barbara Chandler for her, for her music. And I have bought myself just, just a, a whole bunch of rare Transformers toys and animation programs off o-, off of eBay.

[Voice that sounds like Homer Simpson]"Autobots, defeat those Decepticlones!"

Peace. Oh, hmm, and another thing uh, the, the uh, Dark Horse Publishers has uh, offered me a, to create my own uh, template for a uh, official Sonichu magazine. So hmm, why'n'ch-, why'n'cha take a look here. [Shows the cover of his magazine] It's the uh, Rapid Fast News Dash.

Hmmm. I love ya Kacey!

Translation:

Hello! This is the real Ricardo Weston Chandler. Impostor in the vest small, I do not only to understand your last video, but it has excellent command over the Spanish language. I can establish my identity they speak many languages. I also speak French as I learned it in the French some my high school years at Manchester. With my pretty French teacher. I got my diploma with mention.I even have a certificate since I was the [Can't remember the equivalent] in the team of the PVCC. [Can't make this out, but it sounds like "I also have to learn from Germans"] and I am capable to speak fluent German. Not to be expected, but [can't make it out, sounds like "I are a certificate"] in CADD. Hmm. It's a lie, the photo, though effort has been made. Well, if he is the real Chris, then he should be able to read this, but he has to answer every question in these languages!

⇐ NONE CWCivil War! SingStar Challenge