Ghost Hunting with Chris Chan

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On 22 March 2019, Copitz, along with two of his friends, went to visit Chris again. During this time, they went "ghost hunting" in the now abandoned DeJarnette Center for Human Development in Staunton, Virginia.

In Goodwill Offering and Kindest Wishes, Chris revisited the DeJarnette Center.


Ghost Hunting with Chris Chan
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Stardate 23 March 2019
A Melodic Burp
Goodwill Offering and Kindest Wishes

Transcript of "Ghost Hunting with Chris Chan"


Copitz: What's up guys, we're here at the DeJarnette sanatorium. Uh- I'm here with Christine Weston Chandler.

Chris: [holding his hand up] Yo. Yo!

Copitz: AKA Chris Chan, and we're gonna be exploring this place searching for ghosts.

Chris: Ruffalo! (?)

Copitz: It's gonna be pretty epic if I do say so myself.

Copitz: [laugh]

[jump cut to a chain-link fence]

Copitz: Do you think you can fit through here, Christine?

Chris: I think I can manage.

Copitz: Alright.

[Copitz's backpack gets caught on the fence]

Chris: Whup-up-up-up-up, you're caught. [Chris helps unhook Copitz's backpack from the fence] There you go.

Copitz: Thank you.

[jump cut to Chris grunting and struggling to make it through the broken fence gate]

[jump cut again to Chris entering the front of the building through a large broken window. The scrape of broken glass on the floor can be heard as Chris steps through]

Copitz: Nice job.

[Jump cut to Chris and Copitz wielding flashlights inside the building's dark interior]

Copitz: So there's a bunch of different levels to this building.

Chris: [in a strange voice] I see dead people. I think the ghosts are comin' after me. [laugh]

[camera pans to the wall Chris is illuminating, showing graffiti that says "Fuck you!"]

[jump cut to a very short time later; Chris and Copitz are walking down a hall]

Chris: Christian, come here.

[jump cut to Chris displaying his wrists]

Chris: I got quartz- uh, lightning quartz on my wrist.

[the camera zooms in; the video becomes fuzzy before focusing the close-up on Chris's gloved hands]

Chris: It might take a- more than one try, but I'm able to do it on the first try often times, [lifts his arms up, his forearms crossed at the wrists] but I'm gonna make it grind in here. [pulls his wrists against each other, making a loud click.] Ah.

Copitz: Should I stand back?

Chris: [trying again, another click is made] ahh, sometimes it [unintelligible]. [click] Ahh, I can do this, now I can do it [click]

[pan to Copitz]

Copitz: What are you trying to do?

Chris: Tryin' to make it light. I know I'm able to do it.

[pan to what looks to be Lee- though it may be another person- while Chris is finally able to get his rock to make light]

Chris: THERE it is!

Copitz: Aw nice, nice.

[cut to a hallway with bright light at the end of it]

Chris: [observing artwork of hot air balloons on the wall] Well, that's a nice picture, with all the balloons there. [reading graffiti on top of it] My balloooon. I like this picture.

[jump cut to Chris]

Copitz: So this is- uh- this is- uh, DeJarnette sanatorium.

[jump cut to Copitz, his face illuminated by his flashlight]

Copitz: It's where- uh, Joseph DeJarnette- um, did his work. He's- uh, known for being a pretty famous eugenics doctor, and he's known to still roam the halls. As a ghost, obviously.

Chris: Wha' was 'is name?

Copitz: Closed down waaay long ago- his name was Joseph Dejarnette.

Chris: Joseph. Hello, Joe, what do you know?

[jump cut]

Copitz: Do you believe in ghosts?

Chris: Ehh, I've met ghosts- so, yes.

[jump cut to outside]

Copitz: It's a nice view. Alright, the stairs are over this way.

[jump cut to back inside the sanatorium]

Copitz: The next floor.

[jump cut to Chris and Copitz looking at graffiti that reads "HeLP! Im TRA- pped on the ToP flooR"]

Copitz: What does that say?

Chris: [attempting to read the graffiti] I'm trap-red on the top floor.

Copitz: I'm-

Chris: Oh, "I'm trapped on the top floor".

Copitz: This isn't the top floor!

Chris: Sorry, I di-

Copitz: How'd they get here?

[jump cut to more graffiti]

Copitz: [reading the graffiti] "No Obama!"

[quick jump cut]

Copitz: What do you think about our current administration?

Chris: Ahhhh... Trump sucks. That's enough said right there.

Copitz: Think so?

Chris: [slightly distorted by reverberation due to his volume] We can replace him with anybody, but I know we'll replace with Lisa Simpson 2000(?) after the dimension merge.

Copitz: Oh, by- Lisa Simpson will be the next president?

Chris: Yep.

Copitz: Oh, okay.

[quick jump cut]

Copitz: You think everything in cartoons will come true?

Chris: [sigh] It's all- everything that's already been... presented on media has already comes (sic) true. In the sense over there, in our sister dimension, C-197

Copitz: Ohhh, okay.

Chris: But as for future determinations, that's still to be determined.

[jump cut to swastika graffiti on the ground]

Copitz: Check that out.

Chris: [on top of Copitz] You know, the swastika used to mean good luck.

[jump cut to a dark room]

Copitz: Alright, here it says [reading graffiti] "Joseph, come out"

[quick jump cut]

Copitz: I don't really want him to come out, to be honest, because he's dead and ghostsnn' are a little scary.

Lee: Not the geese, man.

Chris: Ahhh, the only- you're only scareda' ghosts because you don't have much knowledge about them.

Copitz: Oh, my mistake.

[jump cut]

Chris: I think I can hear something.

Copitz: Uhh, I'm gonna go this way [laugh]

Chris: Yeah, I feel something.

[jump cut to stairs]

Copitz: Alright, let's go down, let's go down.

[jump cut to Chris and Copitz walking down the stairs]

Chris: At least I got good cell reception in here, I'll give you that.

[jump cut to graffiti that reads "Pots 4 sale]

Chris: [unintelligible, talked over by Copitz]

Copitz: [laughing] Pots for sale? Is there- is there a pot dealer in here?

[jump cut, rumbling can be heard]

Lee: Got some people.

Copitz: Hello? Hello? Who's there? Hello?

[jump cut, no more rumbling]

Copitz: We're friendly!

[camera man laughs]

Lee: Yeah. We're not ghosts!

Copitz: Can you hear us?

[quick jump cut]

Copitz: [quietly] Ah, whatever, I don't think we're ghosts(?)

[camera man laughs]

[jump cut]

Chris: Don't worry guys, I think Magi-Chan Sonichu has us protected.

Copitz: [on top of Chris] I can still hear them.

[jump cut to Copitz's camera pointed at a small unoccupied room with a boarded up window which has a hole in it]

Chris: Follow my lead. We're calm, we're cool.

Copitz: Let's see- [walking into the room] let's check out this little peephole.

[jump cut to a close up of the peephole]

Lee: Maybe we can kick it open.

[quick jump cut to the camera focused on the external landscape]

Copitz: I don't wanna do that. It's clearly professionally boarded.

[jump cut to junk]

Copitz: Lookit this.

Chris: It's a mess alright.

[jump cut]

Chris: [ghost sounds] Ooooooohhhh

Copitz: [laugh]

Chris: Don't worry, we mean ya no harm, spirits.

[quick jump cut]

Chris: As long as we don't bodder dem, dey won't bodder us.

[jump cut to a small room with one large, tall window]

Lee: Well, if all goes to [censored] sh-t, we can climb outta here.

Copitz: Yeah...

[jump cut to the dark halls of the sanatorium once more]

Chris: We mean no disrespect or dishonor-

Copitz: [on top of Chris, agreeing] Absolutely not.

Chris: We're juuust chronicling.

[Chris's phone rings, spooking the other ghost hunters]

Chris: That's my mother. [to Barb] Heyo.

Barb: Hello! Okay, bye.

Chris: Bye-bye. [to the other ghost hunters] It's okay, that was just my mother calling me.

Copitz: [on top of Chris, most likely referring to when he was supposed to return home or contact her] Definitely before six.

[unintelligible whispering]

Chris: Y'all's mothers were concerned about yours as well. Y'all when you were... e- I mean no offense, thank you.


Chris: You know what's weird? I kinda got a similar- this reminds me of after that housefire in 2014 at ho- at my home

Copitz: Oh, yeah-

Chris: Just ennering and exiting all the time, so- it's like, I kinda entered familiar territory with the way everything is around here.

Copitz: For sure, I remember that.


Copitz: Oh, there's some nudity on this wall.

Chris: Oh. [illuminates the graffiti on the wall, which manages to somehow be lower quality than ShecameforCWC.JPG] [laughs] Jeez.

[jumpcut to a well-lit room]

Chris: [singing terribly] Have some fun haunting around those spooky trails.

Copitz: [on top of Chris] Here. [receives an unidentifiable item from Chris] [joining in with Chris] Hopping around the spooky trails.

Chris: [scatting] Booby-da-do-ba do-ba-do-bah-da-boo-bu-da-duh-do-duh-do

Copitz: [dances]

[jumpcut to just outside the sanatorium]

Chris: Thank you all for your hospitality, our phantasms of the spook. May you all rest in peace. Continue to rest in peace.

[quick jump cut to Copitz]

Lee: I wonder who those people were?

Chris: Huh.

Copitz: Yeah, I dunno, we might'a scared them off 'cause they didn't say anything to us.

Lee: They thought we were ghosts. [unintelligible]

Chris: That's the difference between knowing and not knowing.

[piano music begins playing]

That's the difference between knowing... and not knowing -CWC 2019

Chris: If you don't know who was there, does it confirm whether somebody was there or not? You hear footsteps, but was there actually people? Or was it the spirits?

Copitz: It coulda' been the spirits, man.

[quick jump cut]

Chris: All is not known until all is learned, so seek your knowledge and learn well; keep a cool, calm head.

[jump cut to Lee taking a selfie with Chris; piano music stops]

Copitz: Welcome to jamrock.

[jump cut to Chris and Copitz walking on a hill; wind can be heard in the background]

Copitz: I know you said Ted Bundy is going to be coming back in the merge as well...?

Chris: Uhh- oh, in his Sonichu form, eventually. [quick jump cut] And since he... reincarnated, he definitely made sure he amended his ways. [quick jump cut] I assure you that he's a good guy.

Copitz: Okay.

[jump cut to Chris and Copitz walking down a trail side-by-side]

Copitz: So- I mean, Christine, you can see- you can see why some people might think that [quick jump] the whole CWCville stuff- that, like, it might just be... part of something that you drew, and it might just be in your imagination?

Chris: Ohhh yeah, no, [quick jumpcut] we create something and it ends up there, it's not imagination, you literally have psychic connections and links to right over there.

Copitz: Yeeeah...

[jump cut to near a road, cars passing by]

Chris: Kick the can! And I missed. [kicks tin can] There you go. [laugh]

[jump cut to 4 in car, Copitz driving, Chris in passenger seat, Lee and Unnamed Cameraman in backseat]

[Chris drinking Gatorade while side-eyeing camera]

[jump cut to Chris talking to his mother on phone]

Chris: Hi Mom, checking in. I don't know if you wanted to, uh, wait 'til after I got home to fix dinner or whatever. I'll see you later, love you.

Copitz: Let's do a beatboxing contest, okay? I'll go first, you ready?

[starts beatboxing decently]

Copitz: Alright your turn, Christine!

[Chris starts beatboxing horribly]

[Copitz adds interjections and drum noises]

Copitz: Christine on the mic!

[Cuts back and forth between Chris and Copitz beatboxing]

Chris: Honey, I got one more.

[continues beatboxing badly]

[Copitz joins in for a duet]


Lee: When do you think the dimensional merge is happening?

Chris: It's very soon, within these- within the coming days.

Lee: I'm unfamiliar with what that is, what is that?

Chris: Where the dimensions of - where our OCs exist and coexist and -

Copitz: [clarifying for those in backseat] Original Characters

Chris: - reside, and here, where everybody will get to see the OCs.

Copitz: I'll have to see to- to believe it, really, honestly, but I'd like to- I'd like to learn more about the way that you - that you think about it, like the psychological aspect [Chris: maybe] if that makes sense.


Lee: There was a theory going around that you were having like very specific dreams due to some of the medications.

Chris: Well, it's hard to confirm or deny that, but I feel like I can s- I feel like I can say it's... quite a bust. I mean most of my dreams remain neutral, and my nightmares. I have my good dreams, but I'm a lucid dreamer.


Copitz: So you were talking about Lisa Simpson as President, how do you think - what do you think that's going to be like?

Chris: I don't know which President compare it to really. I mean, I'd like - I would like to say Obama...


[Chris makes honking noise]

[Copitz honks the car horn twice]

[Chris laughs]

[jump cut to "Damian Marley - Welcome To Jamrock" playing and Copitz singing along]

Lee: [recording Chris on his phone, loud music and Copitz singing makes it hard to hear] Christine, sing!

Chris: What?

Lee: Sing along!

[Chris sings nonsense]


Copitz: If you wanted to ask - access the, what's it called? C-

Chris: C-197

Copitz: C-197. If you wanted to access that right now, could you do it?

Chris: Oh yeah.

Copitz: Would you like to try it? I don't know if anybody's ever seen you do it before if you-

Chris: Okay, well, hang on I'll-

[Chris closes eyes and makes a concentrated face]

[slow fade transition, presumably a few seconds have passed without Chris talking]

Copitz: Christine, can you still hear us?

Chris: [In a more distant voice] Yes, I hear you.

Copitz: Are you in C-197?

Chris: Yup.

Copitz: Do you think I could have a conversation with one of them through you? Like you could tell me what they're saying and you could tell them what I'm saying?

Chris: Uh, Sabrina is telling me, "Say hi to- Hi Selmy - Hi Christian! It's nice to talk to you!"

Copitz; Hi Sabrina, tell Sabrina I said hi.

Chris: Oh, she hears you through me, so it's like a conduit.

Copitz: Oh, okay. Could I speak to, uh, maybe, like, Lisa Simpson or somebody?

Chris: Okay, well, I'm gonna have to move my soul all the way over to Springfield. Well, I'm talking with Homer right now, she's not - she's not home right now.

Copitz: Can I speak to Marge?

Chris: She's coming in! Hi, Marge! She doesn't want her... speech put on the Internet.

Copitz; Oh, okay.

[Camera zooms into Chris's deeply concentrated face]

Chris: But she will say, for everyone... to remain on their best behavior and to be kind to each other. She will not stand for... crass and rudeness.

Copitz: Oh, of course not. Yes, wise words, Marge. Thank you.

[quick jumpcut]

Chris: [sigh] Ugh, fwoop tired, I've gotta come back here.

[Chris opens his eyes and acts like he's returning to our dimension]

Chris: Blech. I had to come back, I got - my brain got worn out.


Copitz: Alright, let's do our outro here. Ay. Alright guys, we had a great -

[Black screen with words "*camera runs out of battery*]

[interrupted by laughter from both Copitz and Chris]


Chris: [in silly voice holding up peace sign] SUBPRIBE to Copitz, Copitz! Bloopitz!

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