|YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK!
The contents of this page have been bought with taxpayer money!
|“||Ugh! Will someone buy this set of cards already, please!||”|
|Chris promoting his (overpriced) TSSSF card packs.|
Throughout his life, Chris has wasted large quantities of federal tax money on trading card games (TCG). To date, Chris has played six different ones: Pokémon, UFS (Universal Fighting System), Yu-Gi-Oh!, Sailor Moon TCG, The Eye of Judgment and Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder. For much of his adult life, trading card games have been Chris's primary social outlet.
List of TCGs Chris has played
- Main article: Pokémon
The Pokémon TCG was first introduced in Japan in October 1996, then North America in December 1998. It was initially published by Wizards of the Coast. Chris started getting into the Pokémon TCG in 1999, and made his own deck and custom Pokémon Cards. He also invented a special "heavy-duty case" made from Lego bricks and held together with tape, to carry his card decks.
In Sonichu #1, Chris ran an ad proposing a Pokémon TCG expansion titled EX-CWC. This ad firmly establishes Christian's custom trading cards as part of the Sonichu franchise. Also, it reaffirms Chris's rampant narcissism, as he names the proposed expansion after himself (just like he names everything) instead of the Sonichu characters that would occupy the expansion.
- Main article: Yu-Gi-Oh!
The Yu-Gi-Oh! TCG came out worldwide in 2002, and was developed and published by Konami. The earliest sources we have of Chris playing the game are from 2004, when he started making a bunch of custom cards. Chris met Megan Schroeder during a Yu-Gi-Oh! match in the summer of 2005.
Sailor Moon TCG
- Main article: Sailor Moon
The Sailor Moon TCG was released in 2000 by Dart Flipcards Inc. We know Chris got into this game through Megan, who was a big fan of it, but he has never referenced to it very much outside of the emails. During the Julie Saga, Chris had a bunch of Sailor Moon cards up on his website.
The Eye of Judgment TCG
- Main article: The Eye of Judgment
The Eye of Judgment is a TCG/videogame hybrid released in 2007 by Sony. Chris got into this game quite heavily, because it could be played online, and no social interaction was needed. This game came into quite a few videos, and Chris probably apologized to the GAMe PLACe because of it.
UFS (Ultimate Fighting System) TCG
Universal Fighting System TCG is a collectible card game originally designed by Sabertooth Games. It was first released in 2006, and involves popular fighting video game characters. According to Mimms, Chris usually played with female characters, like Cassandra from Soul Calibur or Chun-Li from Street Fighter.
Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder TGC
- Main article: Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder
Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder (TSSSF) is a fan-made My Little Pony trading card game about "shipping" ponies, made to parody ship culture. Chris discovered the game at or around Bronycon 2019, taking a liking to it. Almost immediately afterwords, Chris began producing his own original cards, mostly featuring characters from Sonichu.
- Main article: Tarot
Chris got into Tarot readings as part of his New Age spiritiual beliefs.
List of places where Chris has played TCGs
Chris claims to have volunteered as an assistant Gym Leader at the Pokémon League at the Midlothian VA Books-A-Million between March 1998 and June 2000. This is impossible, as the Pokémon trading card game wasn't released in North America until December 1998, and its official league wasn't founded until the following year. It is also unsure as to what extent Chris was actually "assistant Gym Leader," and whether or not he was just mucking about and behaving like a toddler. Chris would have stopped going here after his family moved 77 miles (125 km) back to Ruckersville in the summer of 2000.
In the May 2010 video I Pimp My Ride, as well as a number of other videos from 2010, Chris is seen wearing a shirt that reads "Pokémon League Books-A-Million Trainer", suggesting that at one point Chris did have some sort of staffing role in the store's organized Pokémon games. More important, it shows that Chris has hung on to this cheap memento of the experience for more than a decade, despite the fact that it is now far too small to wear and highlights his obesity to a disturbing degree.
He was shown playing the game at a Books-A-Million in the PokéNews clip from October 1999.
Toys "Я" Us
|“||*ATTENTION!* I wish to Officially State that I Am Sad that Toys R Us will be closing. But if we all can help it, WE ALL can Show The People Of TRU LOVE and Appreciation Enough to KEEP TOYS R US OPEN FOREVER! MESSAGE THE TRU PEOPLE DIRECTLY as you see fit. #KeepToysRUsOpen||”|
|Chris, 23 March 2018|
Chris says he volunteered as assistant Gym Leader at the Pokémon League at the Charlottesville Toys "Я" Us between June 2000 and June 2002, after his move back to Ruckersville. Again, we don't really know if he actually had duties, or if he was just joining in with the children.
According to first-hand reports of his games at Toys "Я" Us, Chris attempted to use the fake cards he made in battles. Some of these cards are extremely unfair and overpowered. Chris was reportedly kicked out of the store for insisting that he be allowed to use them, even though they would be outright unfair to whoever played against him. The look upon a child's face as Chris lays down a Virgin with rage card would have been priceless.
|Holy shit, I work in a Toys R Us in Charlottesville, VA, and Chris-chan came in yesterday. Bought 2 tins of pokemon cards and promptly left, but not before I saw MLP Figurines sticking out of his purse. Neon green tank top, short shorts, and bright blue hair. I just started working there, but according to my boss, Chris-Chan comes in about twice a month.
He comes in every 2 weeks or so to buy pokemon cards and videogames, presumably because he was banned from all the gamestops in the city. Not gonna upload it to the wiki because it may cost me my job or a pepper spray to the face, but someone else feel free to.
In March of 2018, after Toys R Us announced they had filed for bankruptcy, resulting in the shutdown of stores, Chris tweeted about his sadness (see Chris's quote at the top), encouraging people to go out and buy the over-priced things they probably do not need (it IS a children's store after all) or can find for much cheaper elsewhere, in hopes of the management changing their minds and keeping all of it stores open forever, neglecting to realize bankruptcy is usually non-reversible (unless in certain circumstances, such as the company being bought out, or only closing a few stores, cutting back, decreasing size, etc) and many stores are already in liquidation sales. This may also mean Chris will use his Hard earned money to go and buy things.
The GAMe PLACe
- Main article: The GAMe PLACe
Chris claims to have volunteered as assistant Gym Leader at the Pokémon League at the Charlottesville GAMe PLACe. He started to go there in June 2002, and regularly visited until he was permanently banned by Michael Snyder in August 2008. Lucas has stated that he actually sometimes did work there as a Gym Leader, although this was only very occasionally, when there were no better people around to do the job.
The End Games
- Main article: The End Games
Chris's hangout from 2015 to 2018. Chris said that he brought his friends Magi Chan and Discord along for events there. Chris was banned from the store after arguments with a game judge and the store manager over whether Sonichu's likeness should be included on the Pokémon league sign.
- Main article: The Wall of Originals
In addition to making custom trading cards (most notably Animal Crossing trading cards), Chris has produced tons of custom cards for most of the TCGs he as played. He proudly displays the Pokémon cards in The Wall of Originals (well, he'll likely proudly display them to anyone whom he manages to trap in the room, anyway), and put many (but not all) of the custom cards in the DVD slideshow. Chris also made Eye of Judgment cards, as famously shown in his Holding Out For a Hero video. More recently, Chris took to making Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder cards. many of the cards include Sonichu characters such as Jerkops, Magi-Chan and others, despite the game being about My Little Pony and having absolutely nothing to do with Sonichu.
It is worthy of note that most (if not all) of Chris' custom Yu-Gi-Oh! cards are incredibly overpowered or amazingly weak and would never be accepted in a duel. This shows that Chris either knows too little about games he spent many hours playing or has an Ego bloated enough to think that cards based off himself and his life should be ahead in power over "lesser" cards.
In the Mimms and Lucas Q&A, Mimms said that while Chris still kept his custom cards with the rest of his card collection and showed them off to other players at the GAMe PLACe, he had given up on trying to use them in competitive games.
|* The Sonichu franchise in games *