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Sonichu Entertainment of America

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Let's make Sonichu and Rosechu great again!
 

 

—Christian Weston Chandler for President

Sonichu Entertainment of America (SEA) is Chris's small business company that started on April 16th, 2016. It is a pre-IPO, global entertainment and media company which will be hosted by Zazzle selling fun for the whole family. This is a step up for Chris taking advantage of his Internet fame and his original creation. Sonichu Entertainment of America is an Equal Opportunity employer. It is (by Chris's logic) an 8A woman-owned small business. Products would include the usual stuff he sells on Etsy as well as T-shirts, hats, mugs, and other products.

Reason for Creation

Most people start a small business to provide services and innovation. Although Chris wants to expand his clientele, the chief reason for the formation of the business is because producing the insipid crap to sell online is starting to feel a bit like work, and he wants some henchmen to do the actual work for him. Watching the "launch" video reveals in very short order that he wants any and all employees to be women so he can fuck them, although of course Chris claims his aim was to focus more on drawing the comics as well as focusing on his transition from being a Female Lesbian Soul to Full Woman Lesbian.

Help Wanted

Chris is in essence looking for artists who could reproduce his masterpieces and sell them, Chris naturally believing that a career artist would be required to reproduce his hideous childish art.

Positions and Job Descriptions

Artist

An "artist" would create the Amiibos and medallions. Basically an assembly worker making Sonichu crap.

Description

  • "Learn" from Chris-chan about assembling Amiibos and medallions.
  • Create potential prototypes
  • Collaborate with Chris about new ideas

Qualifications

Animators/Video production assistants

This position would help with creating the animated or CGI Sonichu cartoon series and hopefully not end up like the blue-armed bandit.

Description

  • Create a cartoon or CGI animated Sonichu cartoon with Chris having total creative control and voicing himself and Sonichu.

Qualifications

Romantic coordinator

A romantic coordinator is a professional matchmaker that Chris would actually pay for and trust. He claimed he was too busy to handle this himself. He mentioned that his "associate" wrote this section, in what is an obvious lie but a rare instance of Chris being seen to have shame.

Description

  • Compete with the lesbian love market and find Chris a sweetheart
  • Create a course in women's self-defense/martial arts, dating education, and lesbian sexual positions.
  • Escort Chris in certain public events
  • Fight against trolls

Qualifications

Salary and benefits

  • 25% of the profits.
  • Exclusive access to Christian Weston Chandler himself
  • Talks of collaboration
  • Access to private company promotions, conventions, and company slumber parties (tbd)
  • Chance of romantic encounter with the boss

Anyone interested could send a Youtube video as a video resume or send a resume to his gmail account.

Chris would be paying these people 25% of all profit each, presumably meaning if he had any more than three employees he wouldn't be making any money himself (and what existing profit there is is less than a single person could live on, let alone several people). Although the "artist" and animator positions were advertised to people of either sex, Chris very obviously wants to work with women so he can seduce them.

There are more than a few problems with the creation and advertisement of these positions, chiefly the allusion to romantic advances as a supposed perk of the position. Not only would that creep out potential employees, it would also be considered sexual harassment, especially with Chris's history with dating. It comes as some surprise that two of the three positions are open to men, with only Romantic Coordinator being a female-only position.

Future

There is no chance whatsoever of anybody applying for these positions as a serious job venture. There is, however, an extreme likelihood that trolls will use these job "opportunities" as chances to get close to Chris, which Chris hasn't realised, naturally. As an actual business, even with Chris as its only employee, it is doomed - aside from negligible profits, Chris is plagiarising literal hundreds of instances of intellectual property, and while he's being doing that for years, now he's actually trying to profit off of it.