Difference between revisions of "User:Old meme/Critique"

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(Created page with "''My comments will be in italics.'' According to CWCipedia, the '''Samurai Pizza Bots''' are a cadre of Transformers who protect the city of CWCville from enemy atta...")
 
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''My comments will be in italics.''
Cleared for future use.


According to [[CWCipedia]], the '''Samurai Pizza Bots''' are a cadre of [[Transformers]] who protect the city of [[CWCville]] from enemy attack. Since they didn't appear until [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']], one wonders why the hell these giant combat robots haven't been helping [[Christian Weston Chandler (comic character)|Christian]] and [[Sonichu]] not get their heads kicked in by a variety of [[Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens|implausible super-villains]] in the comic before that ''I think that's sorta is a slippery slope - obviously there was a point they did not exist, and they become in existence. Now if you can establish that the comics state explicitly that the Samurai Pizza Bots have been around, then that would make an interesting note, but I would say something more formal, more like "Despite existing in CWCville for some time, they did not show up until Sonichu 9, leaving one to wonder why they have never been summoned before", something like that.''
=Champ, if you're reading this right now=
 
Don't forget about the [[Sonichu (game)]] merging I also did a while back. Don't make me write you a literal to-do list.
If you're wondering about the retarded name, there is actually a plausible reason for it, (as opposed to the other strangeness in the comic like [[Jerkhief|wooden badges being delicious]] for instance.) ''You don't need to tell people it's a retarded name, they can figure it out for themselves.'' The name is actually a [[Things Chris has ripped off|ripoff]] ''Is there another word for "ripoff"? I know there's the article "Things Chris has ripped off" but I swear we use other terms in articles when it comes to Chris actually ripping off stuff. If not, "ripoff" is alright'' of a relatively obscure ''is it really obscure? That's subjective, hell, I've heard about it and recall watching an episode or two of it as a child'' [[anime]] called [[Wikipedia: Samurai Pizza Cats|Samurai Pizza Cats]], about a gang of furries ''we're [[CWCki:NOTED|not ED]], we don't have it out for furries. If you insist, I'd say "<strike>furries</strike> anthropomorphic cats" though most people frown on strike out jokes'' who protect Japan ''technically "Edopolis" in the Japanese original, "Little Tokyo" in the American sereis'' while running a pizzeria. Chris liked this concept so much, that he felt the need to steal it and incorporate it into his comics, by making the CWCville Autobots maintain disguises as pizza delivery vehicles, complete with the ability to holographically project drivers who would deliver the pizza personally to customers. Holograms do not work that way ''but then again, hologram technology is fictional so it's not like there's a lot of science to get wrong, that is to say that there's probably depictions of holograms that are no better than Chris's'', but by this point that little detail is nowhere close to being the stupidest part of this idea ''once again, no need to point out the stupidity, the reader should realize by now that Chris has thinly veiled Transformer knockoffs is a sign in itself that it's stupid, no need to force it. I've had a lot of people tell me that what they like about the CWCki is that the CWCki lets Chris speak for himself, instead of forcing the reader to reach the point like the ED article formerly did. It's a good thing to keep in mind when editing here, let Chris's fail speak for itself.''
 
==So who are these guys again?==
''Personally, I like informal section headers like this but for uniformity's sake, it's probably best to be more formal and have it called "Members" or something like that.''
===Son-Chu===
[[Image:ModNation AutobotSonChu.jpg|thumb|Son-Chu's transformed mode in [[ModNation Racers]].]]
 
{{main|Son-Chu}}
 
Son-Chu is Chris's own personal transformer. In [[Chris and his ego|typical Chris fashion]], since the car is his, that means it is naturally the leader of the CWCville Autobots and has the most prominence in the comics, as well as being the only transformer to be spared the indignity of being reffered to as a Samurai Pizza Bot. No, instead, Chris refers to his transformer as the leader of the "[[Virginia]] Autobot Squad".<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Son-Chu</ref>
 
The reason for this is probably that while Son-Chu still has the same stupid logo as the other Autobots, he doesn't actually have a day job delivering pizzas ''You're assuming things, and I'm not sure that it's of huge import to point this out. You're right, obviously Son-Chu is the leader because it's Chris s car. I think it's enough to point out that Chris for some reason doesn't have him deliver pizza and that should suffice'' Son-Chu is instead Chris's own personal transportation. In vehicle mode, he takes the form of the blue '94 Ford Escort car that Chris drives in real life. Like the other Autobots, he has the ability to project a hologram of a driver into his seat in vehicle mode to maintain disguise, and being Chris's personal car, he creates a hologram of Chris for this purpose ''citation needed, it'd be good to cite where in the comic he says this, namely the page''.
 
In fighting mode, he completely changes most of his entire design. While normally a Ford Escort, his body still changes into the front of a Dodge Viper in robot form anyway, and while dark blue before, while transformed he becomes yellow and battery blue ''obviously have a picture here. I'm not a Transformers fan but I'm guessing there's a Transformer that's also a Dodge Viper that "inspired" Chris to design Son-Chu like this, point it out''. Notably, this is the same color scheme often associated with [[Sonichu]] himself, who is mostly yellow and has blue shoes. This may be the reason why the Autobot is named Son-Chu in the first place ''I don't know, it should be obvious why he's name Son-Chu - because Chris is unoriginal and everything ties back to Sonichu, you could combine the two sentences into one by saying "Because of the color scheme, it seems that Son-Chu is named after Sonichu who is similarly colored", I don't know, something like that.'' As far as weapons go, Chris's description of him on [[CWCipedia]] says that his roof can become a shield, while his hood can become either a "Plasma Pistol" or an "Energon Sword". He is described as being "Quick footed, well armored" and with a "Strong personality under his hood".<ref>http://archive.sonichu.com/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Son-Chu</ref> Note that no such personality is shown in the comic ''maybe that's because he hasn't gotten around to showing that personality, not so much him not possessing those characteristics''.
 
For some ungodly reason ''once again, lead it speak for itself, no need to point out it's "ungodly", he can also transform into a concert stage, which he does in [[Sonichu 10|''Sonichu #10'']] ''cite page, if you can'' to help [[Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] play a live performance, with their music being so unbelievebly bad ''the fact that it's Chris's music leads one to believe that it's bad, it doesn't need to be pointed out'' that it actually [[4-cent_garbage.com|causes 9/11]]. At this point, it is debatable whether or not Son-Chu is really a Decepticon agent in disguise, a theory leant credence by the fact that [[Megatron pistol|Megatron]] is clearly also in Chris's servitude.
 
Notably, Son-Chu appeared before any of the other robots in the comic, though not as a transformer. He made several cameos throughout the series in vehicle mode before he and the Samurai Pizza Bots' first proper appearance, being first seen at the end of [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu #0'']].
 
===Prower===
[[Image:ProwerVehicle2.jpg|left|thumb|Punchy and [[Layla]] out on a drive. Also note the way Punchy rides the motorcycle like a man-pony at an S'n'M club.]]
 
'''Prower''' (sometimes spelled '''Prowler''') is another of the Samurai Pizza Bots, holding the distinctions of being one of the only two transformers to have an "owner" and the only one to be owned by a [[Sonichu (species)|Sonichu]]. He is also the sole justification for the "Samurai" part of the Samurai Pizza Bots' name.
 
For some reason, Chris decided to elaborate more on Prower than any of the other Autobots, giving him an established backstory on the [[CWCipedia]] article for [[Punchy Sonichu]], his owner, in a short backstory subsection called [[Homos|''Friends of the Fist'']]. The story explains how Punchy and Prower first met, which basically boils down to Punchy noticing a motorcycle in a cave, talking to it, and it talking back ''cite where you find this, if it's from the same story as below, then cite it again.'' They then decide to be partners for some reason, and that's why Punchy suddenly has a samurai robot motorcycle working for him in [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']].<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Punchy_Sonichu</ref>
 
Being the most fleshed out character of Chris's shitty transformers lineup however is countered by Prower also being the most obvious ripoff of the bunch. He is a blatant copy of the Autobot cyber-ninja [[Wikipedia:Prowl (Transformers)|Prowl]] from ''Transformers Animated'', sharing such qualities as their samurai armor which becomes a sidecar, their similar names, their vehicle modes, and the fact that both are ninjas, both supposedly rely on stealth, both use holographic images and both use [[Wikipedia:shuriken|shurikens]] to fight.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Prower</ref>
 
The source of Prower's name is a [[Autism|complete mystery]]. While it has an obvious basis in the name Prowl, his [[Chris and copyright|inspiration]], why Chris chose to drop the 'L' is never made clear. The name is confirmed not to be a typo like [[Chrs-Chan Pure Pulse-Jolt Lance]] was for instance, because it is used multiple times in the comic and that is the name his CWCipedia article went by, meaning the alternate spelling of "Prowler" sometimes used is more likely to be the typo that "Prower" is. The strange spelling has been claimed by [[trolls]] over time to being everything from a [[racist]] joke about how Asians would pronounce "Prowler" to a reference to [[Wikipedia: Miles "Tails" Prower|Tails]] from the [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] series, who's last name is also Prower. To this day, nothing has been confirmed.
 
===Bumble-Lumba===
The most assuredly retarded ''once again, no need to point out it's retarded, it's by Chris, one does not need to be told it's retarded'' [[Wikipedia:Bumblebee (Transformers)|Bumblebee]] ripoff. Other than the fact he fights [[Jerkops]] and [[Decepti-Clones]] like all the other Saumrai Pizza Bots and that he transforms into a yellow and green '09 Camaro, ("[[Minor CWC-isms|Bug-Car]]" according to Chris), nobody knows anything about him. Not even Chris cares enough to elaborate on what kind of weapons he uses in Bumble-Luma's own CWCipedia article. He just delivers pizzas, fights, and transforms. That's it ''no need ot point out "That's it", if that's all you said, that's it, it doesn't need to point out that there is all to it''.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Bumble-Lumba</ref>
 
===Excelina===
[[Image:Robovagina.jpg|thumb|Seriously, what the hell?]]
 
The token female transformer and obvious ripoff of the movie version of [[Wikipedia:Arcee|Arcee]]. Excelina probably derives her name from either the Excelina of ''[[Anime|Steel Angel Kurumi]]'' ''can you establish Chris is familiar with this series? Has it been shown on Adult Swim? Do we have records of Chris watching this on Netflix?'' or Excel from ''[[Excel Saga]]'' ''that would seem more likely, given we know Chris's views on Excel Saga'', which Chris has [[Parody|parodied]] before. She also hints of certain elements of the ''[[Power Rangers]] Zeo'' villain Archerina ''do we have evidence Chris watched this series before? He seems to prefer the old Power Rangers, no idea if he ever got involved with the newer series, can you establish this?''.
 
Her vehicle mode is that of a motorcycle, (of what make and model Chris never says), and comes with a blatantly obvious female hologram "rider". Men are courteously informed that she is just a hologram, just in case you thought Chris's [[art]] had gotten even worse. She is also the hologram mentioned above which somehow manages to carry pizza into a store despite not even having a physical presence. Chris claims on her CWCipedia article that she knows all the shortcuts across [[CWCville]], and that she can reach anywhere in the city in less than ten seconds, a speed that neither [[Sonic]] nor [[Sonichu]] have matched so far ''cite please''.
 
She is described in combat as being "Slick, cool and full of style in her attacks" and "[[Chris and sex|Strong-Fisted]] Up-Close". Her main weapon is said to be "[[Death threats|Sniper]]-Style", but she "[[Megan|needs space]]" to use it.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Excelina</ref>
 
All this is irrelevant however, as her lack of personality or any interesting design to distinguish her from the other Autobots means she will forever be remembered by [[trolls]] and [[True and Loyal Fanbase|''Sonichu'' fans]] as the one Chris decided to draw with a robot vagina.
 
===Armoraxe===
[[Image:ArmoraxeBot.jpg|left|thumb|You know that little kid you see at your cousin's birthday celebration running around with a [[Gitar of Fail|toy guitar]]? Imagine if he was a robot.]]
 
The apparant sub-leader of the group, acting in the same way to Son-Chu that [[Wild]] does to [[Magi-Chan]], the Armoraxe robot is supposedly named for his tough armor and sharp axe. Unfortunately, Armoraxe does not use an axe, but instead a giant guitar that transforms into a plasma rifle. This motif with the guitar makes him a rather obvious ripoff of [[Wikipedia:Soundwave (Transformers)|Soundwave]] from ''Transformers Animated''. Chris describes him as a "real [[Guitar Hero]]", and claims that "when he Plays that Beat, HE WAILS!!!", whatever that means.<ref>http://archive.cogsdev.org/cwcipedia/index.php?title=Armoraxe</ref>
 
His vehicle form is that of a minivan, perhaps more specifically a [[Wikipedia:Scion xB|Scion xB]], (though Chris described it as a "[[Minor CWC-isms|Heavy Beat Van]]"). In his robot form, he carries a boombox on its shoulders and wields a guitar. Due to Chris's lack of [[Chris and art|artistic talent]], it is difficult to discern if his face is on the boombox itself or if he has a separate head that is in front of it.
 
In yet another example out of thousands that show how shitty Chris's comic is, when Chris took down the [[4-cent_garbage.com]] building in ''Sonichu #10'' through the power of rock, Chris showed up in [[Son-Chu]] instead of Armoraxe, and Son-Chu turned into a mobile rock stage. He didn't bring along Armoraxe at all. Armoraxe's entire ''raison d'être'' is that he's a walking talking robotic sound system with a guitar, and the one fucking time he could have been at all useful, Chris chose to use his shitwagon instead.
 
Also note that Soundwave is actually a Decepticon, and yet his ripoff is an Autobot. If Soundwave were real, he'd feel insulted by this.
 
{{-}}
 
==So where the fuck have they been?==
''Once again, I'd go for a more formal section heading''
At this point you're probably wondering where the hell they've been since the beginning of the comic, and that's a damn good question. At first, one would assume that the Autobots first showed up around about the time Chris got lost in the [[Time Void]]. They could have been called in as extra support after Chris got lost, or perhaps they coincidentally ended up there while persuing Decepticons and decided to stay and help the city. Logical conclusion, right?
 
BUT WAIT! Then however, you realise that the leader of this particular group of Autobots is Son-Chu, who transforms into Chris's car, and Chris had that same crappy ''no need to point out it's crappy'' Ford Escort all the way back in [[Sonichu 0|''Sonichu #0'']], which through [[Retroactive continuity in Sonichu|retcons]] Chris has already established took place years before [[Sonichu 9|''Sonichu #9'']], and they haven't shown up at all in the time between those dates.
 
Okay then, so maybe these aren't exactly the same Autobots that appeared in the regular ''[[Transformers]]'' universe. Perhaps these particular transformers were purpose built in [[CWCville]] by a team of scientists specifically so they could defend the city once Chris left, and maybe they just used Chris's car as one of many used to build the robots and designated him the leader once they all went online. That's pretty far fetched, but it sort of makes sense.
 
BUT WAIT! What about Prower? He wasn't made in a lab or workshop by [[Bill the Scientist|CWCville scientists]], to defend the city. He definitely came from out of town. Punchy found him alone in a cave behind a waterfall, and he claimed to have ended up there coming back from a battle with Decepticons outside the city. Plus, it was only by accident and his agreement he ended up working with Punchy to save the city at all. So he must be the alien kind of transformer.
 
Well then...Maybe some of them are alien robots and some are built in CWCville? Wait no, that doesn't make sense either. The transformers of regular continuity would never let some derivative robot build by humans to take authority over them. They have standards after all.
 
Given all this conflicting information about the possible origins of these guys, the only conclusion that makes any degree of sense is that the real Autobots use CWCville as a dumping ground for rejects and other Autobots too stupid to live, and Chris's government just rolls with it and places the rejects under the command of their own retarded robots. Thus was born the Samurai Pizza Bots, a squad of transforming Autobots so unbelievebly stupid that [[Optimus Prime]] ranks them below [[wikipedia:Dinobots|retarded robot dinosaurs]] and [[wikipedia:Skids_(Transformers)|blatantly offensive]] [[wikipedia:Mudflap_(Transformers)|racist caricatures]], which says a lot about their competence as heroes. No wonder Chris thought they were a good idea.
 
''I don't know, the whole tone of this section is too informal, if I'm reading it right you're trying to establish where they came from, but we can say the same thing about plenty of other characters (Jamsta Sonichu, for example) and what it boils down to is that Chris introduces new characters without any regards to canon or where they came from, probably to use them as plot devices or deus ex machina, that sort of thing.''
 
==Gallery of plagiarism==
''"Gallery" can suffice, it's already been established Chris has liberally borrowed from "Transformers"''
<center><gallery>
Image:Prowl_prower.jpg|Prower = Animated [[Wikipedia:Prowl (Transformers)|Prowl]].
Image:Bumble-Lumba-Bumblebee.jpg|Bumble-Lumba = Animated [[Wikipedia:Bumblebee (Transformers)|Bumblebee]].
Image:RClina.jpg|Excelina = Movie version [[Wikipedia:Arcee|Arcee]].
Image:ArmorWave.jpg|Armoraxe = Animated [[Wikipedia:Soundwave (Transformers)|Soundwave]].
</gallery></center>
 
== References ==
<references/>
 
==See also==
*[[Transformers]]
*[[Power Rangers]]
*[[Decepti-Clones]]
*[[Son-Chu]]
*[[Punchy Sonichu]]
*[[Allison Amber]]
''Why "Allison Amber"? Sorta obtuse, IMHO.''
 
{{Sonichu}}
 
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Transformers]]

Revision as of 06:12, 16 July 2011

Cleared for future use.

Champ, if you're reading this right now

Don't forget about the Sonichu (game) merging I also did a while back. Don't make me write you a literal to-do list.

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